http://ezinearticles.com/?cat=Arts-and-Entertainment:Humor EzineArticles.com - Trusted By Millions as The Source For Quality Original Articles http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/ Santa Claus knew this day was coming, and he put it off as long as possible, but as the CEO and Chairman of Santa Claus Inc., he had no choice but to file bankruptcy in November of 2009. You see, the commercial credit markets were tight, and he just couldn't make payroll, nor could he borrow the money until the Christmas season was over when the money would flow in again. Over the last few years health insurance and worker's compensation costs have skyrocketed. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:26:20 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Claus-LLC-Out-of-Business-Due-to-Obama-Care-Health-Insurance-Costs&id=3303642 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Claus-LLC-Out-of-Business-Due-to-Obama-Care-Health-Insurance-Costs&id=3303642 Apparently, the new Cap and Trade law is causing a stink at Santa Claus LLC Toy Factory at the North Pole. Why you ask? Well, it seems that methane is a green house gas and rain deer are big polluters, and the EPA wants to fine Santa Corp [NYSE symbol CHRS). The corporation has purchased the new approved EPA rain deer rear-end cover and recover devises, but they keep falling off of the rain deer in flight, and the FAA is very concerned about these incidents. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:54:24 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Claus-LLC-Might-Go-Out-of-Business-Due-to-Methane-Green-House-Emission-Rules&id=3307248 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Claus-LLC-Might-Go-Out-of-Business-Due-to-Methane-Green-House-Emission-Rules&id=3307248 A radicalized Polar Bear was reported terrorizing Santa Claus' factory at the North Pole, and apparently there are lots of them terrorizing the North Pole Santa Claus LLC Head Quarters, and this was hardly the first time. You see, they were promised warmer weather by the Global Warming Alarmists, and so they've been having more offspring, now there are too many Polar Bears in the region and they are running out of seals to eat, so, they are looking for some more tasty morsels; Elves. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:46:32 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Claus-LLC-Out-of-Business-Due-to-Terrorist-Attack-at-Christmas-North-Pole-Base&id=3307227 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Claus-LLC-Out-of-Business-Due-to-Terrorist-Attack-at-Christmas-North-Pole-Base&id=3307227 My hometown of Warrensburg, Missouri, has a population of approximately twenty thousand people, dogs and other critters. It is known far and wide as the home of the University of Central Missouri. Only ten miles to the east is a small town of Knob Noster. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:45:35 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?My-Career-As-a-Terrorist&id=1058621 http://ezinearticles.com/?My-Career-As-a-Terrorist&id=1058621 Achmed the terrorist has fast become one of the funniest things to hit the planet, bar none! Here are some Achmed notes to read from a fans point of view - enjoy and brighten up your day, no matter where you are in the world. Achmed the terrorist is funny beyond comparison. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:28:41 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Achmed-the-Terrorist-Information-From-a-Fans-Point-of-View&id=3239117 http://ezinearticles.com/?Achmed-the-Terrorist-Information-From-a-Fans-Point-of-View&id=3239117 There are many funny photos that you may have in your life. These may photos that you really like and that you want to show to the world. You might be wondering where you can share these photos. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:06:09 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Before-and-After-Photos&id=3165764 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Before-and-After-Photos&id=3165764 What are we to do now that the holidays are upon us and there will be no waffles? How will America cope with the disaster of no Eggo's to put our maple syrup on? Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:23:36 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Great-Eggo-Shortage-of-2009-A-Christmas-Without-Waffles&id=3300707 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Great-Eggo-Shortage-of-2009-A-Christmas-Without-Waffles&id=3300707 There is nothing like the bond between man and his dog. Over the course of a decade the two of them can grow to be inseparable. You can never repay the lifetime of unquestioning loyalty a loving dog provides. This can make it hard to tell your best friend that his life isn't valuable anymore. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:27:12 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Doggy-Heaven-Telling-Mans-Best-Friend-He-is-Being-Euthanized&id=3266634 http://ezinearticles.com/?Doggy-Heaven-Telling-Mans-Best-Friend-He-is-Being-Euthanized&id=3266634 At some point in our lives it is likely that any of us could be attacked by a tiger. In such a situation it is important to know how to survive this potentially lethal situation. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:27:02 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Surviving-a-Bengal-Tiger-Attack-What-You-Need-to-Know&id=3006608 http://ezinearticles.com/?Surviving-a-Bengal-Tiger-Attack-What-You-Need-to-Know&id=3006608 Chances are if you are reading this, you are a loser. So let's just accept that right now. Most people don't need to read articles on the internet to figure how to trick someone into liking the facade that they put up on a daily basis to hide their ugly, insecure, depressed true self. So if your social awkwardness has prevented you from achieving your life-long dream of ever completing a group quest in World of Warcraft, making friends will probably be difficult for you. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:26:40 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Make-Friends&id=3310123 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Make-Friends&id=3310123 Indeed, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there will be no Christmas this year. Unfortunately CNBC Business News is reporting that Santa Claus LLC has filed for bankruptcy today. The founders of Santa Claus LLC, Mr. Claus and Mrs. Claus said that they tried to run the business at a profit, but had difficulty due to over regulation and a multitude of hardships over the years. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:44:37 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Claus-LLC-Filed-For-Bankruptcy-Today&id=3303671 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Claus-LLC-Filed-For-Bankruptcy-Today&id=3303671 We all know that human being is a social animal. We can not survive without friends, family and social links. Smile is the main ingredient which binds us with each others. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:19:47 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Be-Happy-and-Bring-Laughter-in-Everyones-Life-by-Playing-Short-Jokes&id=3118306 http://ezinearticles.com/?Be-Happy-and-Bring-Laughter-in-Everyones-Life-by-Playing-Short-Jokes&id=3118306 When you would like to take some stress out from your life, one of the fastest ways to do this is to laugh. If you can find the best jokes on earth, you can also share the fun with the people who spend their time with you. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:41:16 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Find-the-Best-Jokes-on-Earth&id=3295403 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Find-the-Best-Jokes-on-Earth&id=3295403 Almost everyone has had fun with a clown, from laughing at their stunts during the circus to having a balloon animal made for them at a birthday party, but most people don't realize the long and rich history of clowns. Clowns started out as court jesters thousands of years ago. The first known account of a court jester was in 2500 BC in ancient Egypt. Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:18:38 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?A-History-of-Clowns&id=3283769 http://ezinearticles.com/?A-History-of-Clowns&id=3283769 A not-so-serious look at professional belly dancers. Belly dancing is a lively art that requires specialized skills which take time to polish. Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:04:24 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Traits-of-Experienced-Belly-Dancers&id=3289340 http://ezinearticles.com/?Traits-of-Experienced-Belly-Dancers&id=3289340 For most of us, spam is a four-letter word. Even when you use military-strength email filters, the stuff just keeps on coming, telling us about wondrous pills, dubious surgical enhancements and dodgy stock market advice. Now, no one in their right mind is ever going to throw good money away on these uninvited offers, but the never-ending stream of garbage acts like the Chinese water torture, slowly eating away at our sanity. Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:27:29 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Benefits-of-SPAM&id=1538466 http://ezinearticles.com/?Benefits-of-SPAM&id=1538466 Practical Jokes are usually funnier for the giver than the receiver. Here is a true story where the tables were turned. Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:47:23 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Rattlesnake&id=2060982 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Rattlesnake&id=2060982 Being witness to an adult punch-up is never a very edifying experience. At least at school when there was a fight you knew that a stocky little geography teacher would appear on the scene before anyone got too badly hurt. He'd bang the culprits' heads together and march them off to be caned to within an inch of their lives and then, even more alarmingly, he'd make them shake hands. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:28:25 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Buy-Buy-Baby&id=3265978 http://ezinearticles.com/?Buy-Buy-Baby&id=3265978 The House Of The Rising Fun According to studies, the fourth most stressful experience known to modern man (after - and I offer them in no particular order - death, divorce and letting your girlfriend drive) is moving house. I don't know why. If you're considering buying a new place but worried about the transition go right ahead because, actually, moving can not only be stress-free, but also rather fun. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:51:34 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?House-of-the-Rising-Fun&id=3265850 http://ezinearticles.com/?House-of-the-Rising-Fun&id=3265850 Do you want to know what makes an ideal home? Or an ideal garden? Well, today's your lucky day. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:26:28 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Home-is-Where-the-Art-is&id=3265819 http://ezinearticles.com/?Home-is-Where-the-Art-is&id=3265819 Apparently, lots of people are leaving their summer holiday bookings to the last minute this year in the hope of picking up a bargain. This is a good idea in theory but in practice it may mean that although you were hoping for ten days in Lanzarote, being a cheapskate has left you wandering around the hinterland of an unpronounceable country somewhere clutching your pre-packed sandwiches. Just in case, I thought some practical survival tips might be appropriate. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:23:07 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Keep-on-Running&id=3265791 http://ezinearticles.com/?Keep-on-Running&id=3265791 Some say Barack Obama became the first black president of the United States because he caught the zeitgeist of a subtle change in the socio-political infrastructure of his country. Others would have it that an innate gift for empathy and understanding were crucial to his advancement to the highest office in America. Actually, I think he got the job because he's got quite a nice voice. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:45:32 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Voices-in-the-Sky&id=3265889 http://ezinearticles.com/?Voices-in-the-Sky&id=3265889 A phrase that you're unlikely to ever hear uttered by anyone at the forefront of communications development is 'Hey, come here fellow boffins, I've just discovered a way to make this gizmo work a bit more slowly.' That's because these days it's taken as read that speed is good and that anything that saves time is positive. It's a big mistake. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:37:40 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Great-Textpectations&id=3265870 http://ezinearticles.com/?Great-Textpectations&id=3265870 Does your doctor speak english in a language you don't understand? Does he only know you by your stretch marks? Do his tropical fish show symptoms of malaria? If you answered "yes" to five or more of these questions, then you had better read our funny top ten list about how to select a qualified physician, before the Obama Healthcare Plan drives them all into dental school. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:57:52 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Top-Ten-Lists-Top-10-Ways-to-Select-a-Qualified-Physician&id=3226777 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Top-Ten-Lists-Top-10-Ways-to-Select-a-Qualified-Physician&id=3226777 It can be very embarrassing farting in public, particularly when you can't control it. In some situations it can prove to be disastrous not only for your social life, but also for your career as well. Here are some scenarios where a fart could land you in serious trouble, even if you let one out by accident. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:00:59 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Farting-in-Public-Can-Be-Lethal-For-Your-Social-Life&id=3248845 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Farting-in-Public-Can-Be-Lethal-For-Your-Social-Life&id=3248845 Some say that political correctness is actually a disease, much like cataracts, as it prevents you from seeing the reality by clouding your judgment and mind into believing what you see is something other than you observe. Is political correctness a form of schizophrenia? If so, it is a psychological problem or a mental disorder, and we owe it to our society to help those individuals that are too politically correct cure themselves. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:43:47 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-We-Need-Political-Correctness-Rehabs&id=3268992 http://ezinearticles.com/?Do-We-Need-Political-Correctness-Rehabs&id=3268992 The other day I was at a friend's house and we were watching the football game Stanford versus USC. Stanford slaughtered USC, and put them in their place. At this party were graduates each University, and they made bets, along with the other guests and about $1000 changed hands, needless to say although this was just friendly betting, there was a lot of excitement in the room. Everyone was very much into the game. Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:47:45 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?I-Need-a-Dog-to-Match-My-Furniture-He-Said&id=3269022 http://ezinearticles.com/?I-Need-a-Dog-to-Match-My-Furniture-He-Said&id=3269022 We have alarm systems for our homes and our cars. Safe deposit boxes for valuables.Where and how, however, do you and I protect our most valuable resource of time? Do you recognize these ten time thieves? Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:41:28 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Officer,-Someone-Stole-My-Time!&id=3258005 http://ezinearticles.com/?Officer,-Someone-Stole-My-Time!&id=3258005 Short Jokes are being shared to spread humor and laughter, but sometimes they can create problems and misunderstandings between individuals. Some people may take them personally and start debating. They create very dicey situation. Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:37:45 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Be-Careful-About-a-Few-Things-While-Telling-Short-Jokes&id=3256779 http://ezinearticles.com/?Be-Careful-About-a-Few-Things-While-Telling-Short-Jokes&id=3256779 Curl up on the sofa, drinks, food, all in place and decide which piece of comedy to watch. Now comes the hard bit, choosing which Achmed piece to watch! Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:49:09 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Achmed-the-Terrorist-The-Best-Bits-to-Watch-When-Choosing-Which-Comedy-to-Spend-the-Night-With&id=3250501 http://ezinearticles.com/?Achmed-the-Terrorist-The-Best-Bits-to-Watch-When-Choosing-Which-Comedy-to-Spend-the-Night-With&id=3250501 Christmas comes early each year to our normally quiet community here in Homestead, Florida. Santa's come by the droves, not in sleighs, but in RVs, and campers, and pick-up trucks. They come here each year to watch the last NASCAR race of the year; the one that decides the NASCAR champion, The Homestead-Miami Ford 400. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:50:21 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Red-Neck-is-Coming-to-Town&id=3210124 http://ezinearticles.com/?Santa-Red-Neck-is-Coming-to-Town&id=3210124 Why funny birthday poems for friends and family? You know how everyone brings a present to their friend's birthday. As much as birthday presents are a great part of a birthday, you can still use something else to make your gift more special and memorable: short funny birthday poems. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:01:09 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Find-Funny-Birthday-Poems-For-Friends-and-Family&id=3248948 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Find-Funny-Birthday-Poems-For-Friends-and-Family&id=3248948 First you should get yourself a yarmulke already. This skull cap will indicate to your new in-laws that you respect their values and hat style preferences. Don't wear it until you need it, just have it. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:10:50 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Goys-R-Us-How-to-Fit-in&id=236029 http://ezinearticles.com/?Goys-R-Us-How-to-Fit-in&id=236029 Turkey-Wattle... talks about them turkey wattles under your chin, ya old buzzard, and what can be done about them. If ya gots the money. (Don't worry; the article is in regular English) Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:08:34 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Turkey-Wattle-Goozle-Ive-Got-You-Under-My-Chin&id=247068 http://ezinearticles.com/?Turkey-Wattle-Goozle-Ive-Got-You-Under-My-Chin&id=247068 The other day I was jogging around my neighborhood, and I noticed someone had painted a Ferrari on their driveway. It was a top view as if you're looking down on the car, and I could tell it was a Ferrari Testarossa because in my younger days I used to own a car detailing business. At first I laughed, and I couldn't help myself, I had asked the guy what the deal was... Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:36:54 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Whats-With-the-Top-of-the-Ferrari-Painted-on-Top-of-Your-Driveway-I-Asked&id=3260085 http://ezinearticles.com/?Whats-With-the-Top-of-the-Ferrari-Painted-on-Top-of-Your-Driveway-I-Asked&id=3260085 Funny Fridge Magnets are another category which adds onto the wide range of kitchen accessories. All kinds of fridge magnets are known to bring in brightness and cheer to all kitchens. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:35:32 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Enjoy-Some-Humour-With-Funny-Fridge-Magnets&id=3260212 http://ezinearticles.com/?Enjoy-Some-Humour-With-Funny-Fridge-Magnets&id=3260212 Our sources from deep inside Apple accidentally discovered documentation straight out of the mind of Steve Jobs. Apparently he has been working secretly on a new program called iThought that is capable of reading your mind, including your deepest darkest secrets! Unbeknownst to Steve, iThought had developed its own consciousness complete with the ability to distinguish between right from wrong. iThought immediately sent out an urgent warning to everyone on Steve's iChat Buddy List. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:57:21 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Steve-Jobs-Plan-For-World-Domination&id=140097 http://ezinearticles.com/?Steve-Jobs-Plan-For-World-Domination&id=140097 When you smile; the world smiles with you. A Smile costs nothing but gives you a lot. A good Laugh can really be the best medicine. It connects us with others. It does not come from any machine rather it is inborn and it is a free of cost thing which is beneficial too. Human beings feel affection for laughing. An average adult laughs 17 times a day. In this modern era, we all are burden sized with the work. We do not have time for ourselves. We are working like machines and need some time to come out from this hassled life. Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:37:13 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Get-a-Dose-of-Laughter-With-Funny-Stories-and-Jokes!&id=2474718 http://ezinearticles.com/?Get-a-Dose-of-Laughter-With-Funny-Stories-and-Jokes!&id=2474718 Apparently, there are seven heavenly virtues: temperance, diligence, chastity, kindness, humility, charity and patience. The first six would appear to make reasonable sense as qualities to covet for those wishing to avoid some of life's more unpleasant pitfalls, but patience? A virtue ? How does that work exactly? Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:26:14 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Its-a-Sin&id=3241004 http://ezinearticles.com/?Its-a-Sin&id=3241004 It Was A Dork And Strummy Knight is a story whose characters are musical terms. It takes place in a forest in the time of knighthood and chivalry. Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:12:18 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?It-Was-a-Dork-and-Strummy-Knight-A-Story-With-Musical-Jokes&id=229913 http://ezinearticles.com/?It-Was-a-Dork-and-Strummy-Knight-A-Story-With-Musical-Jokes&id=229913 I was pondering the idea of medical doctors taking the Hippocratic Oath before embarking upon their practices. Whether they still do that anymore isn't the point, but rather that the idea was intriguing to me. What if other vocations demanded practitioners to take similar oaths? Wouldn't that build more confidence in perspective users of products or services? Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:37:02 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Vocational-Oaths&id=3234568 http://ezinearticles.com/?Vocational-Oaths&id=3234568 Here are ten absurdities in the world around us. Included in the list are observations about our interactions with dogs, and strangeness in the English language. Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:39:37 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Some-Things-That-Strike-Me-As-Odd&id=3226997 http://ezinearticles.com/?Some-Things-That-Strike-Me-As-Odd&id=3226997 Dear People in Charge of Things, Here are some suggestions to make the world a better place: Duct tape should come in flavors. Some possibilities: Plumber's Plum, Strawberry Sound Man, Tangerine Toilet, and Duct l'Orange. Household Pneumatic Tubes. Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:37:43 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Suggestions-to-Make-the-World-a-Better-Place&id=3226953 http://ezinearticles.com/?Suggestions-to-Make-the-World-a-Better-Place&id=3226953 At some point in our lives it is likely that any of us could be attacked by a tiger. In such a situation it is important to know how to survive this potentially lethal situation. Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:18:54 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Surviving-a-Bengal-Tiger-Attack-What-You-Need-to-Know&id=3006608 http://ezinearticles.com/?Surviving-a-Bengal-Tiger-Attack-What-You-Need-to-Know&id=3006608 The case: Plaintiff sues Defendant for negligence in that her 11 year old son shot neighbor plaintiff's 10 year old daughter with a BB gun. The BB lodged in the girl's neck. This happened three years ago and the decision was made not to remove the BB, that leaving it there would be harmless. Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:30:32 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Arizona-Justice-The-Case-of-the-Unloaded-B-B-Gun&id=232275 http://ezinearticles.com/?Arizona-Justice-The-Case-of-the-Unloaded-B-B-Gun&id=232275 I've had a hankering for fresh figs lately. What is surprising is that I have not thought about fresh figs for a long time. They have such a remarkable texture and taste. But where are they? Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:27:59 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Figs!-Where-Are-They?&id=235497 http://ezinearticles.com/?Figs!-Where-Are-They?&id=235497 This is a SPOOF article and not meant to be taken seriously. Here we have the latest development from the shady world of big pharmacy. Not to mention government and other criminal organizations. Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:20:23 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?New-Flu-Vaccine-Horror-List-of-Ingredients-Shock&id=3164802 http://ezinearticles.com/?New-Flu-Vaccine-Horror-List-of-Ingredients-Shock&id=3164802 Here are Top 8 Things you can do wit funny life quotes. 1- You can print them out on your T-shirt. Not only it will show your wittiness and humor in a whole different way but also impress the people around you. Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:55:40 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?8-Things-to-Do-With-Funny-Life-Quotes&id=3226291 http://ezinearticles.com/?8-Things-to-Do-With-Funny-Life-Quotes&id=3226291 Cry Over Spilled Caviar tells about the distress of a rich person worried about the poor and his spilled caviar. It concerns also the cats who share the penthouse and deals with important matters about class. Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:57:44 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Cry-Over-Spilled-Caviar&id=485027 http://ezinearticles.com/?Cry-Over-Spilled-Caviar&id=485027 Some thoughts about my decision to put my two cats in a convent. This includes both rationale and technique in case any readers have similar thoughts. Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:46:06 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Cats-Are-in-the-Convent-and-Alls-Well&id=479363 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Cats-Are-in-the-Convent-and-Alls-Well&id=479363 At last the authorities have signed the necessary papers and the design firm of Feng Fu-Kung Shui can move forward with its monumental effort to bring Kung Fu to its room arrangements and Feng Shui to its sweaty mats at the dojo. The new art will be known formally as Feng Fu-Kung Shui-do. Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:44:00 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Feng-Fu-Kung-Shui-Combining-Interior-Designing-With-Martial-Arts&id=233505 http://ezinearticles.com/?Feng-Fu-Kung-Shui-Combining-Interior-Designing-With-Martial-Arts&id=233505 There is a popular saying that goes "all good things come in threes." This applies just as much to the world of humor as anywhere else. One common technique that anyone who is aspiring to learn how to be funny should know of is the "Rule of 3". It is commonly accepted that things that come in threes are naturally funnier and simply more relatable. Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:44:08 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-13-Use-the-Rule-of-3-(Never-2!)&id=3216728 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-13-Use-the-Rule-of-3-(Never-2!)&id=3216728 Identifying with music lyrics: Alright, we've all participated in this self-absorbed activity (even I have), where we believe we have the right to identify our life with a current song. I can't tell you how many times I have gone on AIM to see a girl with the status "They never said it be easy, sometimes it's rocky, but I'd rather be with you then alone." Mon, 09 Nov 2009 11:40:03 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Trying-to-Score-With-the-Ladies?-What-You-Should-Not-Do&id=3216832 http://ezinearticles.com/?Trying-to-Score-With-the-Ladies?-What-You-Should-Not-Do&id=3216832 Nam Nam Chattering is a story full of anagrams about the legend of Dracula, Nosferatu, The Countess Bethory, the undead and such. The Duchesse Frantouse, for example is an anagram of Nosferatu. Schreck is the name of the actor who played Nosferatu in F. W. Murnau's classic movie. You should be able to find many if you are a fan of Dracula based movies and books. Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:05:02 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Nam-Nam-Chattering-A-Story-With-References-to-Dracula,-Nosferatu,-Bethory,-Usually-in-Anagrams&id=229916 http://ezinearticles.com/?Nam-Nam-Chattering-A-Story-With-References-to-Dracula,-Nosferatu,-Bethory,-Usually-in-Anagrams&id=229916 "Rescue a Cockroach..." is a manual for saving the life of a cat-captured cockroach. This procedure requires adult supervision. No mouth-to mouth. Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:41:49 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Rescue-a-Cockroach-From-Your-Cat-Humanely&id=234334 http://ezinearticles.com/?Rescue-a-Cockroach-From-Your-Cat-Humanely&id=234334 Smokin' - How to...tells you how to make a fortune by showing tobacco companies how to improve sales. Detailed instructions help you through the process. Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:41:38 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Smokin-How-to-Get-Rich-in-Tobacco&id=238887 http://ezinearticles.com/?Smokin-How-to-Get-Rich-in-Tobacco&id=238887 There is no doubt that the Web has transformed the way people use and perceive museums. From the casual collector with an oddball hobby to the professional curator, museums are exploiting tech. Extensive Web search of collections, podcasts and blogs from curators, and RSS feeds to update patrons on upcoming events have all made museums become more engaging and interactive. Mon, 09 Nov 2009 09:15:36 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Quirky-Online-Museums-You-Might-Want-to-Visit&id=560945 http://ezinearticles.com/?Quirky-Online-Museums-You-Might-Want-to-Visit&id=560945 It started very simply for one well-known comedian. He was out with nothing to do one day and decided to buy a book. The subject of the book was how to write books, and the result changed his life. Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:26:23 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Joke-Writing-How-Can-I-Learn-to-Write-Jokes?&id=1128901 http://ezinearticles.com/?Joke-Writing-How-Can-I-Learn-to-Write-Jokes?&id=1128901 This is a tongue-in-cheek commentary on recent "highest ever" exam results in Britain. Where will it all end? Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:49:24 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-British-A-Nation-of-Geniuses-Under-Labour&id=3217293 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-British-A-Nation-of-Geniuses-Under-Labour&id=3217293 [Note: this article is a SPOOF and entirely fictitious. Everything in it is made up.] This is a continuation - part three - of translations into English of transmissions from an Arcturian survey ship in Earth orbit, to its mission operations based on Arcturus IX Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:47:21 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Subjugating-Humanity-Part-Three-Methods-of-Controlling-the-Herd&id=3217267 http://ezinearticles.com/?Subjugating-Humanity-Part-Three-Methods-of-Controlling-the-Herd&id=3217267 This is a satirical article. The events are fictitious. Dismay erupts in Britain as the country's "Truth Tsar" is sacked by a government outraged by his insistence on facts. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:46:14 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?British-Scientist-Sacked-Over-Earth-Goes-Around-Sun-Claim&id=3217212 http://ezinearticles.com/?British-Scientist-Sacked-Over-Earth-Goes-Around-Sun-Claim&id=3217212 This is a SPOOF a SATIRICAL article and not meant to be taken seriously. It follows on from "Subjugating Humanity Part One. All references in it are fictitious. From:Earth survey ship "Look Lively" To: Mission Operations, Arcturus IX Subject: Summary of analysis of Earth's political system - part two: report resumed. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:07:00 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Subjugating-Humanity-Part-Two-Banks,-Corporations-and-Invisible-Chains&id=3170679 http://ezinearticles.com/?Subjugating-Humanity-Part-Two-Banks,-Corporations-and-Invisible-Chains&id=3170679 This is a SPOOF article and not meant to be taken serious. All references in it are made up and fictitious and do not in fact exist. After break of several months I have been receiving again snippets of communications between an orbiting Arcturan survey ship and its base in the Arcturus system. I have done my best with the translation and offer it to you now for your consideration. The translation reads as follows. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:02:58 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Subjugating-Humanity-Part-One-Who-is-Running-Earth?&id=3170650 http://ezinearticles.com/?Subjugating-Humanity-Part-One-Who-is-Running-Earth?&id=3170650 DOP tells about the best way to run the country in the future with a dog as president. There are many advantages to having a dog as president. Learn now how to vote in the next election. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:57:33 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Dop-The-Dogs-Only-Party-How-to-Elect-a-Dog-to-the-Presidency&id=363998 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Dop-The-Dogs-Only-Party-How-to-Elect-a-Dog-to-the-Presidency&id=363998 Suffering from the redecorating blues. The sweat often outweighs the equity. Perhaps the Jungle Room is the right idea...you can vacuum the walls. A log cabin requires no wallpaper. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:10:26 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?If-a-Mans-Home-is-His-Castle,-Why-is-There-Potpourri-in-My-Moat?&id=3207000 http://ezinearticles.com/?If-a-Mans-Home-is-His-Castle,-Why-is-There-Potpourri-in-My-Moat?&id=3207000 Comedy is the ultimate entertainment for anybody in the universe. A smile on anyone's face can make wonders which will also keep the people very healthy in the sense that it is just like a medicine to cure all miseries, pains and many more.This may be expressed in different types like mono-action, drama, price less expressions, humourous skits imitating others, jokes, cartoons, comic stories etc. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:21:17 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Comedy-is-the-Ultimate-Mantra-For-Happiness&id=3209131 http://ezinearticles.com/?Comedy-is-the-Ultimate-Mantra-For-Happiness&id=3209131 Banking is a serious business. Bank managers who appear to be to be cool and calm all the time are actually under a lot of pressure to satisfy their clients and to maintain a healthy and competitive work atmosphere for their team members. They are responsible for assessing and maintaining the conduct, behavior, and progress of their team. Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:00:22 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Top-5-Funniest-Excuses-Given-to-Bank-Manager&id=3204553 http://ezinearticles.com/?Top-5-Funniest-Excuses-Given-to-Bank-Manager&id=3204553 For my sister's birthday I wanted to surprise her with a balloon bouquet, flowers were out of my budget range but I knew I could afford a nice spread of balloons. She worked as a hair stylist in Ketchum, Idaho and I wanted a big birthday display to celebrate her birthday. The balloons would be a nice way to announce it was her birthday. Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:38:13 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Lost-in-Translation,-How-a-Simple-Spelling-Error-Can-Reap-Rewards-and-Become-Family-Lore&id=3203549 http://ezinearticles.com/?Lost-in-Translation,-How-a-Simple-Spelling-Error-Can-Reap-Rewards-and-Become-Family-Lore&id=3203549 Imagine the situation when you are with your family and someone tells a dirty joke. It is a very embarrassing situation. At that time you can not say anything but feel annoyed inside. You can not make eye contact at that time. Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:17:59 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Clean-Jokes-Can-Be-Shared-With-Anyone-to-Bring-Fun-and-Humor&id=3189406 http://ezinearticles.com/?Clean-Jokes-Can-Be-Shared-With-Anyone-to-Bring-Fun-and-Humor&id=3189406 I came here to this planet and where is my manual? No tour guide! Nothing! You expect me to figure it out on my own? Duh! Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:13:29 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Holidays-on-the-Earth-and-Off&id=3192654 http://ezinearticles.com/?Holidays-on-the-Earth-and-Off&id=3192654 Whether you're feeling good or bad, watching a funny video is good for you. What are the main advantages of watching funny video clips? Wed, 04 Nov 2009 15:12:35 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Videos-Are-Good-For-You&id=3186569 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Videos-Are-Good-For-You&id=3186569 Children are made in a convenient size for a reason. All parents know that telling a child to do something or stop doing something does not guaranty results. God, realizing the problem, made children in an easy to manage, miniature size... Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:03:37 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Children-Are-Made-in-Convenient-Size-For-a-Reason&id=3178645 http://ezinearticles.com/?Children-Are-Made-in-Convenient-Size-For-a-Reason&id=3178645 Life is getting monotonous and it feels like you are plowing through the dredges every day looking for a bright spark. Then it hits you to do something simply outrageous that will lead to a raucous amount of laughter and terrible aches to the stomach because of laughing stitches. You are thinking of starting a comedy club or comedy night. You shoot it down because it is too idealistic and the logistics behind will drive you nuts. Its either that or you trudge back to the boredom. Well, its not. There is a silver lining in your pathetic life after all. Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:53:41 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Comedians-and-Workplace-A-Fantastic-Mix&id=3177415 http://ezinearticles.com/?Comedians-and-Workplace-A-Fantastic-Mix&id=3177415 You know how sometimes nothing is more entertaining than stupid funny quotes that make you laugh out loud. These short and simple quotes have the power to bring you laughter and joy in just a few seconds of reading them. Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:23:46 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Find-Stupid-Funny-Quotes-For-Free&id=3163708 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Find-Stupid-Funny-Quotes-For-Free&id=3163708 A lot of people will tell you that there are no shortcuts to success and for the most part they are right. However, for those of you out there that still have that burning desire to learn how to be funny then the "pull back and reveal" technique is about as close as you can get to having a tool you can use to bring out laughs almost instantly. Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:17:05 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-11-Use-the-Pull-Back-And-Reveal-Technique&id=3177289 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-11-Use-the-Pull-Back-And-Reveal-Technique&id=3177289 How many people do you encounter each day that deserve a prank call? Every day, we encounter people in our lives that just flat out annoy us. Sometimes they are our co-workers, oftentimes they are friends and family. Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:48:41 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-8-People-Who-Deserve-a-Prank-Call&id=3172511 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-8-People-Who-Deserve-a-Prank-Call&id=3172511 I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna. We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:44:02 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?See-You-Later-Alligator&id=3171480 http://ezinearticles.com/?See-You-Later-Alligator&id=3171480 As a guy, I have this romantic idea about sturdy old hand-tools that get passed down from father to son. The ones that just require a little re-sharpening and adjusting before they work like new again. Mon, 02 Nov 2009 16:04:50 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Wearing-Things-Out&id=3168617 http://ezinearticles.com/?Wearing-Things-Out&id=3168617 Who knew such danger lurked right in the safety of his own home? I certainly don't remember this being mentioned during marriage counseling or else I would have purchased some sort of ear protection. Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:40:01 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Going-Wife-Deaf&id=3168652 http://ezinearticles.com/?Going-Wife-Deaf&id=3168652 All businesses can benefit from cartoons for use in presentations, staff literature and Xmas cards. They can also enhance your website or blog adding a touch of glamour and humor. Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:53:28 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Cartoonists-How-Cartoonists-and-Illustrators-Can-Bring-Laughter-to-Your-Business&id=3168892 http://ezinearticles.com/?Cartoonists-How-Cartoonists-and-Illustrators-Can-Bring-Laughter-to-Your-Business&id=3168892 I know, it's hard to believe that I could actually come up with even more high quality, pithy, funny questions while maintaining the low standards of writing you've come to expect from such a hack writer as myself. But, it's a living. Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:19:19 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Questions-About-Life-Part-5&id=3164880 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Questions-About-Life-Part-5&id=3164880 There are many funny photos that you may have in your life. These may photos that you really like and that you want to show to the world. You might be wondering where you can share these photos. Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:15:16 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Before-and-After-Photos&id=3165764 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Before-and-After-Photos&id=3165764 Clothes make the man. Good taste is an acquired art. Dressing well helps everyone. Forget your skin, be comfortable in your attire. It's better to look good than feel good. Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:57:44 -0600 http://ezinearticles.com/?On-Being-Sartorially-Impaired&id=3161576 http://ezinearticles.com/?On-Being-Sartorially-Impaired&id=3161576 Your vampire lover has been busy, gorging himself on local, well, prime rib. Now, it's up to you to clean up; after all, no vampire worth his canines would be caught alive with leftovers on his hands, or worse under his neatly manicured mother-of-pearl fingernails. Sat, 31 Oct 2009 13:05:43 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?Vampire-Life-Part-7-What-to-Do-With-the-Ghoulish-Remains&id=3181862 http://ezinearticles.com/?Vampire-Life-Part-7-What-to-Do-With-the-Ghoulish-Remains&id=3181862 The terms "sports widow" didn't arise out of vacuum. It's a real thing! Many wives dread when football season arrives, or basketball, or hockey, or whatever sport their husband's athletic addiction finds itself adhering to. There just seems to be something about the testosterone surge that switches on during an intense athletic event that captures the male hook, line and sinker. Here are some of the ways you can tell if your husband is addicted to sports: Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:03:15 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?8-Signs-Your-Husband-is-Addicted-to-Sports&id=3157477 http://ezinearticles.com/?8-Signs-Your-Husband-is-Addicted-to-Sports&id=3157477 A disturbing incident at the very beautiful church in Wichita Falls, featuring my snooty aunt, and my cousins Bobby and Danny. Yes, especially Bobby. Most unfortunate, sad, really. Here's how it happened ... Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:35:38 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Incident-at-Floral-Heights-Methodist-Church&id=3179903 http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Incident-at-Floral-Heights-Methodist-Church&id=3179903 Funny campaign slogans can be your last chance when you're running out of ideas but still want to rise to power. Use my list of campaign slogans, and that nice presidential chair will surely belong to you! Fri, 30 Oct 2009 08:11:22 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Campaign-Slogans-to-Conquer-the-World&id=3149837 http://ezinearticles.com/?Funny-Campaign-Slogans-to-Conquer-the-World&id=3149837 There needs to be a way to easily vent frustration over the poor job our politicians are doing in Washington. And conversely, there needs to be a way to show our appreciation when they show a bit of backbone and actually protect our interests instead of those of the special interest groups. Fri, 30 Oct 2009 08:05:13 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?If-Your-Elected-Politician-is-Not-Doing-Their-Job,-Give-Them-the-Flamingo!&id=3148785 http://ezinearticles.com/?If-Your-Elected-Politician-is-Not-Doing-Their-Job,-Give-Them-the-Flamingo!&id=3148785 Well now, faith n begorrah, no this is not an accent I'm putting on because I did grow up in Ireland. So, you might be thinking or wondering what it was like in this little country we call The Emerald Isle and how we all ever made it. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:58:32 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?Whats-it-Like-Growing-Up-in-Ireland?-I-Will-Tell-You!&id=3176337 http://ezinearticles.com/?Whats-it-Like-Growing-Up-in-Ireland?-I-Will-Tell-You!&id=3176337 This past weekend I had a big, blowout fight with my girlfriend. It was one of those that was so bad that we both had no problem with breaking the old rule about never going to bed upset. The next morning there was lots of tension in our hotel room and during breakfast. Bad times. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:22:17 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-7-How-the-Karate-Bikini-Song-Saved-My-Weekend&id=3076998 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-7-How-the-Karate-Bikini-Song-Saved-My-Weekend&id=3076998 Try to imagine The Three Stooges without all of the slaps, pokes, and punches. You can't do it. It just doesn't work. Virtually everything this great comedy trio did revolved around one guiding principle: comedy loves conflict. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:21:47 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-8-Comedy-Loves-Conflict&id=3078851 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-8-Comedy-Loves-Conflict&id=3078851 Have you ever told the same joke, you know your "signature line", to two different people on two different occasions and had one laugh and the other look at you like you were crazy? In your journey to be funny you need to know that there are some lines that just should not be crossed. Some subjects are just too over the top, too taboo, and will make people too uncomfortable when you talk about them. The sobering fact is that they are just not funny and should be avoided like the plague. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:21:15 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-6-Knowing-Whats-NOT-Funny&id=3069222 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-6-Knowing-Whats-NOT-Funny&id=3069222 Having a vivid imagination will take you very far if you want to learn how to be funny. Not everyone can be as wild and zany as Jim Carrey but that shouldn't stop you from pushing the limits and seeing what you can come up with. Using what I like to call "outrageous comparisons and associations" can help you along in this process. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:21:04 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-4-Use-Outrageous-Comparisons-and-Associations&id=3033112 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-4-Use-Outrageous-Comparisons-and-Associations&id=3033112 Today we're going a little bit psycho on you. Psychological that is. We'll be tackling 3 of the most accepted and widely agreed upon theories of humor out there. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:20:51 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-5-Understand-the-Big-3-Theories-of-Humor&id=3039942 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-5-Understand-the-Big-3-Theories-of-Humor&id=3039942 Every self-help book in the world worth its salt will tell you that if you want to become a success at anything then it pays to study the masters and model their behavior. This definitely applies to learning how to be funny as well. I say that if you want to "be" funny then you need to "study" funny. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:20:29 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-3-Study-Funny&id=3006640 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-3-Study-Funny&id=3006640 Anyone can become funny. It's really easy when you think about it. Most of the time when you are hanging out with friends or family and the laughs are flowing it is probably because someone is using the technique I'm about to share with you with even knowing it. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:20:11 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-2-Change-the-Assumption&id=3005911 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-2-Change-the-Assumption&id=3005911 Remember Chris Farley? You can learn how to be funny from him. He was funny partly because he was loud, VERY LOUD at times. When he got amped up and on a roll not only was his voice booming but his entire body was in action. Farley was a master at physical humor. Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:19:48 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-1-Using-Your-Voice,-Body-Language,-and-Facial-Expressions&id=2999278 http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Be-Funny-Part-1-Using-Your-Voice,-Body-Language,-and-Facial-Expressions&id=2999278 Very funny quotes are considered by many to be just-another-sort-of-funny-stuff-around. Well, I couldn't disagree more! In fact, they could teach us quite a lot - if only we thought them a little bit through! Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:06:34 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?Very-Funny-Quotes-And-What-They-Can-Teach-Us&id=3143072 http://ezinearticles.com/?Very-Funny-Quotes-And-What-They-Can-Teach-Us&id=3143072 Do you want to impress and astound your friends? Do you want to be the person everyone would love to be in company with? Then why not learn some famous life quotes. You probably have noticed some of the great leaders use famous quotes in their speeches and normal communication that make them truly memorable and interesting. Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:09:22 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?Want-to-Impress-Your-Friends?-Throw-in-Some-Famous-Life-Quotes-in-Your-Conversation&id=3146553 http://ezinearticles.com/?Want-to-Impress-Your-Friends?-Throw-in-Some-Famous-Life-Quotes-in-Your-Conversation&id=3146553 It was dream of every individual to build a happy family. Having a happy family is a true pleasure of life. The joy of being in such a family is something that can't be describe in words. It increases your chances of being successful in your professional life as well. Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:07:24 -0500 http://ezinearticles.com/?Keep-Your-Family-a-Happy-Family-by-Sharing-Funny-Life-Quotes&id=3146542 http://ezinearticles.com/?Keep-Your-Family-a-Happy-Family-by-Sharing-Funny-Life-Quotes&id=3146542 Copyright 2009 EzineArticles.com - All Rights Reserved.