Carlos writes:

Subject: How do I know I'm in love

Wow, this article is really interesting! Now I understand why my last relationship didn't work. Right now I'm about to start a new relationship with a wonderful 22 year old girl (I'm 27); I have a question about hormones and how do they work as generators of desire?

Dr. LeslieBeth Wish writes:

Subject: Responding to Carlos about hormones

Hello, Carlos, I'm glad the article about "How do I know I'm in love" was helpful. Here is a quick answer to your question about how hormones can be "generators of desire."

When you begin to feel an attraction to a person or when you begin to fall in love, powerful hormones of pleasure and attachment kick in. If you have sex early in the relationship--which I do NOT recommend--then these hormones go into overdrive. Soon, you could find yourself obsessing, getting jealous and/or having what I call "Beginner's Rush-Flush" where you have lots of hot sex in the beginning. This rush of hormones can cloud your accurate vision of your new partner for even 2 years! Now you see why holding off on sex helps you see your partner more clearly! If you have already had sex and it is early in your relationship, consider taking a temporary break and spend time hanging out together--and that does NOT mean engaging in "everything but intercourse sexual activities." Make your time together resemble your real life. Go on errands. Have lunch at your usual place. Hang out with friends. Ask your girlfriend for advice. Have her help you. Be friends first! I hope this information is helpful. Thank you for contacting me. Dr. LeslieBeth Wish