steve writes:

Subject: I live this as well..and I'm a man.

I'm 43yrs old and I've never been on a date either. All I want is to meet someone who's genuine and interested yet it hasn't happened. The loneliness is the thing I really hate. Chear up, you aren't the only one.

ocean writes:

Subject: never had a date

Jessica you are not alone Im thirty two years old and also never been out on a date with a man. All i want to complete my life is marriage and family. I have to watch my brother's have families of their own. The loneliness and seeing couples together is so painful. Its like always having your face pressed up against a window.

sara writes:

Subject: Dateless

Jessica, This is so common. I'm 32yrs old and never been out on a date with a man. Loneliness and seeing other couples together is so painful. You feel like you are always have your face pressed up against a window.

Kim writes:

Subject: Dateless Too

I'm 30 and never had a date either.

John Morse writes:

Subject: dateless

It's weird how we all have our own lives, and we still over lap into others but never see it... i see the indivisuals that walk this earth in their own bubbles...where i am coming from is my bubble has only brought me to 21, and im already feeling depressed. Why is it having no money, stress of work and learning means nothing compared to seeing others being together... i may be young in some peoples eye's but to me i have always had an elder mind.

Someone has not even passed my lips... and couples seem to brake up and form all around me...

i do not have the confidence...and with the element of not wonting the bickering, just confuses me further... leaving me with the feeling of being alone till i pass this place...

every single cell of me understands where you are coming from...

its less the relationship i wont and more of a solemate... someone i can open up to... listen and understand me as i understand them.

i would take in each breath as a moment to remember... see that there will be many breaths and its what you do with them is where you will end up.

kevin writes:

Subject: out of the loop,i guess

try 51...lol now i don't even try

Chloe writes:

Subject: Glad I'm not the only one

Jessica, I'm 28 years old this year and I've never had a date. Lots of men have liked me and I've liked lots of men, but it's never been the ones I want that want me in return. It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one out there. I find the loneliness gets worse as the years go by. The media makes me feel like a freak what with the emphasis on couples, romance and sex and I hate it. I'm dreading Valentines Day...good luck to everyone on this page and hope you all find someone soon.

Derek writes:

Subject: Wow

I can totally relate. 26/M/straight, never been on a date. Whats really embarrassing is hearing family members talk about it behind your back, ugh.

linda writes:

Subject: sigh

I thought I was the only one! Never been asked out on a date. 28/F. Just another lonely Saturday night. Yea, I hate it when my family members ask me "have you met someone?" as if the answer is going to miraculously change. It's also embarrassing when friends chat about recent dates, etc.

Aunika writes:

Subject: I hear ya

I thought I was the only one. I am 32 years old and never been on a real date. For some reason people just assume I am seeing someone. Usually it will come up in conversation," Oh you aren't going out with anyone?

Then I feel like a real loser!

Marc Fern writes:

Subject: Quick Search

I am 28/M/Straight and when I was 16 years old I remember laying thinking about breaking up with this real capital B that I was going out with and I said to myself I can always get another, but 12 years gone by and I have not held hands, kissed, loved, or anything. All around me my friends are getting married and dating others right and left. The thought of it makes me sick. I always get your really nice, but not my type. I am really happy go lucky and not really depressed. But going to main events like rock concerts, 4th of July, and other big things I just see everyone mocking me around me by being together. I watch movies and feel nothing like Forgetting Sara Marshal. I seen my friends break up and being the worse thing in their lives and they tell me how lucky I am for nothing having to have the same problem. 3 weeks later their with someone else. I seen it all around and I do not know. I get shot down a lot... A LOT. Put me in a slump.

Things are not like the movies. Shallow Hal, The Hottie and the Nottie, and others like 40 old Virgin are always with a happy ending. Make me sick, I still like the movies but their totally make you wounder what your doing wrong. Glad to see others like me. So, have not been with anyone touched another girl or anything in 12 years. I do not even know what to look for any more or what to do. Tried internet dating, never got one reply, message or anything. Change a bunch of things messaged a lot of people still nothing. Hate those things. I know your thinking how ugly could I be!? lol I do not think people around me see me as being ugly. I am over weight but not like a hippo or anything. I am just the person people talk to when they need a friend. Maybe someone could give me some dating advise? What do I say when I find a person I like? Where do I go to meet someone? Where do you go to find girls around 25 to 35? Any advise?

Mara writes:

Subject: I guess I'm not alone!

I'm 25 and also dateless...no dates EVER. It chips away at my confidence and self worth - what on earth could be so wrong with me that no decent guys are interested? The more time passes, the more I feel like things will never change.

Lauren writes:

Subject: never been on a date...

I am rather surprised to hear of others like this too. I'm actually a very attractive female (just to be honest without false modesty). I'm also smart, funny, fairly outgoing. But the only men who ever ask me out or hit on me are much older. And lately, I haven't even gotten a huge amount of that. I don't think that I've ever been asked out by someone closer to my age. And I've never been on an actual date. I don't even know where to meet men really. All the good ones are taken anyways.

Mindy writes:

Subject: Sounds Like Me

Wow, I guess I'm not the only dateless person around. I'm 26 years old and I've never been asked out on a date. While I didn't notice it as much when I was younger, now it's getting worse. After all, alot of the girls I went to school with are either engaged, married, and even starting families! I also feel bummed out when I see happy couples, or on days like Valentine's day. Another downside is that due to the fact that I never seem to talk about any of the guys I 'date', some of my coworkers think I'm a lesbian. The sad thing is that the men who ever seem interested in me are either old or just really perverted. Darn Hallmark and the media for making me feel like some kind of weirdo!

Dani writes:

Subject: Not sure how to feel

I'm almost 23, and I've never dated. I've had some guys like me, but I've never liked someone, personally. I wonder all the time if there's something wrong with me, because I have the desire to be with someone, but have never met a single person I wanted to date. Do you think maybe I have such a strong fear of rejection that I reject everyone else first and don't even realize it?

I don't know. I'm torn between finding comfort in others like myself, and being afraid that my fears of never being in a relationship can and will come true.

Good luck to all of you, though... If you aren't getting out there, you should. Chances are, all of you will find someone soon enough.

Christropher writes:

Subject: Never been on a date

Hello all

After reading your entries on here I feel I should add my tale of woe.

I'm 29 and have never had the fortune to be with that truly special person. I never bothered with girls when I was at school, college or even university. My first ever girlfriend was when I was 21 - it lasted 2 months. Just over 2 years later, I dated another girl for 2 months. A year later, I dated another girl for just under 2 months. None of them had the feelings for me they did when we started out, and I am not in contact with any of them anymore. I was not in love with any of them.

Then, in June 2005 (2 years after my previous date) I was in a relationship for 8 months. I liked the woman, chased her, and by the time we were together, I was bored. But I stayed with her, as I thought I couldn't do any better. As the months rolled by, I realised I wasn't in love with her and that we were not suited at all. It lasted 8 months and I was so happy when it was over. I never had sex with any of them, either.

In 2007 I went to the 5th anniversary of the company I work for: I was the only single person there! It was the first time in my life that being single bothered me, and it has been bugigng me and making me lose sleep since. I have had some truly beautiful and amazing female friends, but they've never wanted to be more than friends. Now they're engaged ...

I totally understand everyone on this posting. I feel as though it's never going to happen for me, that I'll never know what it's like to kiss someone passionately, have an intelligent cxonversation with a truly fascinating woman who finds me attractive, or feel true love. All my mates are married, and now my sister is getting married! I see others break up all the time and tell me I'm 'lucky' to be single - no, I'm not!

Good luck and best wishes to all of you.

sara writes:

Subject: hmmm

i'm almost 23, and i too have never dated. i've never even felt pursued by a guy. i'm attractive, and have lots of friends, i love being around people, and am friendly...but when it comes to romantic interest, i get flustered, shy and stubborn, and completely ruin and chances of even getting a guy to notice me....i know thats the problem, i refuse to act like an imbecile to attract a guy (as i've witnessed many friends do....successfully) my flirting style is a long and slow process...i think if i can change that i'll have more success? i don't know....

mitch writes:

Subject: Dateless

I am forty and I don't mind being alone, but it scares me to death when I will be in my sixties and eventually dying alone.

MARC writes:

Subject: NEVER HAD A DATE

I am 34/m/straight and I have never had a date, have plenty of girls asking me out, but I have been too picky, always wanting the magazine cover girl, if I ever get to feel lonely I'll get a dog, sex for me have only been on a pay by the hour system, or with my significant other "me", well some people have been lucky to find their other half but for us I think that we came to earth as a whole and really can't find our other half because we are not missing it, or it could be because of my Capricorn sign which is to be very independent and emotionless.

Brendan writes:

Subject: Who Killed Cupid

Initially I was looking for articles unrelated to this subject to help in other matters in my life. With masses of information regarding different topics, I thought I'd search for people who either have the same problem I have with being lonely. I was shocked with the results. I was thinking I was the only person in this position. At 34, all my relationships put together, probably don't add up to 6 months. I'm shy, not very confident when it comes to women and have become very fussy as I got older. Like Jessica says in her profile, I had friends who tried telling me to lower my standards. But you either like someone or you don't and being happy should be a priority in life.

Anyway, over the years, I just keep myself busy and it works. I've been doing amateur dramatics, running (which helps clear the mind) and recently started marketing online. I have pretty much filled most of my time up which does help. Finding people in the same position as myself makes me feel less lonely.

TJ writes:

Subject: Never Been on a date/Never been kissed

I don't feel like such a loser now. I'm 29/f and never been on a date and never been kissed. In high school I wasn't interested in dating and in university the guys I liked didn't pay attention to me. I know I'm quiet and not that sociable but I meet men all the time. I've always had guys hit on me (ie: in clubs/restaurants) but they were never my type. I'm terribly shy and it's caused me to have this lonely life. Will I ever have kids, get married, go on date or be kissed? I don't know if it will ever happen to me. PS: I do take care of myself...wear the most fashionable clothes, go to the hair salon and definitely keep up with my appearance...I feel that I`m attractive so I don`t know why my life is like this.

Mike writes:

Subject: You're not alone...

I'm a 32 year old guy. Up until I was 29 I had never been on a date. At that point, I was pretty desperate for a any woman to show me even a little attention.

I did meet a girl and we've been dating ever since. However, I've never been all that attracted to her physically, so our relationship has degraded to a "best buddy" scenario. Realistically I started dating her out of desperation and now I'm kind of stuck (we live together, share finances, etc...). I do love her, but more as a best friend. She's very overweight and I find it hard to see her in a sexual way.

The problem is, women that I truly find attractive would never even give me the time of day. I'm not looking for a supermodel, just a nice, average girl. So right now I'm stuck in this incomplete relationship, where there is no physical chemistry. This might be worse than being single and alone. I'm not sure anymore.

I'm basically faced with a very difficult decision: Stay with someone I don't find physically attractive, or live my life alone.

Neal writes:

Subject: We're alone together

I wish I could make all the pain and frustration go away for everyone that ever feels lonely. I understand what many of the people here have written. I am a 34 year old male and, whereas I've been told repeatedly by a lot of close friends that I have had many many opportunities to be in a relationship with a female, I have sadly been single for the majority of my life. Honestly, the last time I went on record 'dating' someone...6th grade. Wow. Never have talked about it until now. It hurts. Frustrating. Confusing. Infuriating. Some friends have told me I'm too picky but I honestly don't feel that I am. I don't have a 'type' for the most part. I think back to my teen years and 20's and think of numerous missed opportunities but I guess I always found fault with the situation and talked myself out of it. It seems like the women I'd really like to be with are already married or don't seem interested in me. I used to be more confident and outgoing, but it's sad to say that I've become quite guarded now the last couple years. I don't know that I have the emotional fortitude to 'put myself out there' again you know? I'm ALWAYS scared of rejection. What's weird is that most of the times I've decided to 'go after' a particular woman, she's reciprocated interest but after about 2 weeks EVERY TIME she will want nothing to do with me ever again. Only reason I can think of is that I care too much but it's not like I act desperate or call her constantly. Somehow though I must be scaring the girl away. By the way, I AM a virgin and whereas it's unpopular in our world, and lonely, I must say I'm proud of that fact because I believe in having relations only after marriage. So it's by choice due to my religious faith, but still very very difficult to bear. I love all of you and pray for all of us to find happiness through getting to know and serving our God. Perhaps we will find our mates someday. God bless.

Jon writes:

Subject: Me too.

I'm 27 and have never been on a date. I've asked probably about three dozen girls but have always gotten shot down. More than half the people my age at work are already married and it makes me feel terrible inside to know that I haven't even dated once.

There are some girls at work I'd ask out, but if they say, "No thanks," or even more embarrassing, "I already have a boyfriend," I'm going to be talked about.

"Did you know that Jon asked me out?" How do I know who she talks to? And if I get shot down once, the absolute worst thing I can do is ask out *another* female coworker. What if she talks to her friend who I already asked out?

All it takes is asking two people who talk to each other and all of the sudden, I'll have the office reputation for being the guy who "asks everyone out," or "will take anything he can get."

New female coworker joins our company. "Oh yeah, and that's Jon over there at that desk. He asks everyone out, so don't be surprised."

johan writes:

Subject: the same thing day in and day out

I'm in the same boat with the never been on a date/lacking a girlfriend department. 28/m. At times, it does bother me. I see many women but will never say anything unless I happen to speak to them on a regular basis or co-workers. That coupled with my depression and shyness(as well as some other traits), I've just decided that my purpose in life was meant for something more I guess.

alan writes:

Subject: i'm not alone...

Male and 24, never been on a date - seem to be quite young compared to others on this post, but it's the fact that nearly everybody I know and see are in a relationship (and likely have had the chance to be in more than one). It's also the fact that the so-called 'best years of our lives' have passed.

I suffer from shyness and depression, and from reading some of these posts I think there are a few others like me. I am also quite picky, in that I know the kind of woman I'd like to be with. It seems from a few dating tip websites that you should have a more casual outlook to dating - I don't seem to have that attitude. I believe that if I go on a date it means I really like her, otherwise what's the point. I have been interested in other girls and other girls in me, but have not had the guts, or more to the point, any idea of how to take it further. Here's the ironic bit - I even had quite a few votes in my high school yearbook for Most Attractive Male.

I have to say that reading these posts have shown me that I am not alone in having these thoughts. Hopefully I and everyone here can find the partner of their dreams sooner than they think.

sidnee writes:

Subject: add me to the list

I turned 40 this year. It was a major bummer because when you have milestone birthdays, you tend to take stock in where you are in your life. All I can focus on is how I'm still alone for another birthday.

I'm pretty outgoing in certain social situations, but very shy when meeting new people. Coupled with depression and the fact that people have rejected me all my life, it doesn't paint a pretty picture.

I have accepted the fact that I won't find anyone. Every time I try (join a single's group at church, take a class)it never works out. I just sit there by myself. It's funny because not one of my friends or family members ever knew any guys to set me up with. But somehow they knew plenty of girls to set my brothers up with. I found that interesting. It seemed to send the message to me that my family and friends think I'm a loser. As I've gotten older, I think my original assumptions are true. I remember vividly in my childhood and in my teens being told to my face by people that I was ugly. I didn't' think I was that bad looking in school. I wasn't thin, but I certainly wasn't obese either.

The loneliness is the worst. I HATE holidays and weddings and other family gatherings where all the couples get together--I'm the only one in my family who isn't married or in a relationship. I hear my mom making excuses for me when someone is rude enough to ask why I'm still single. It just makes me feel so w********.

I don't have to be married--I've given up on that fantasy. But it would be nice to have someone in my corner who thinks I'm special and interesting. It also would be nice to not be the "odd" man at family gatherings. It would also be nice to have someone to go places with. I don't think that's asking too much--is it?

Faith writes:

Subject: Back again

Well guess what - I Googled the same thing as last time, ended up back here almost 2 years after I left my first post (number 7) and guess what? Still no date.

I'm 30 next year. I've never had a date, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never had sex. I'm not religious, I'm not frigid, I'm not a closet lesbian, I'm not traumatized. I'm just terribly sad, and terribly afraid. Doesn't help that I have no social life, and I've failed to get a career which means low self esteem and no chance of meeting anyone.

I am truly afraid of my future. I am so glad I am not alone, and though I am not religious, I still say bless you to everyone else here. You are not alone. I truly hope each and every one of us finds happiness very, very soon.

Shane writes:

Subject: Faith

I am very sad at reading some of the above posts, I am quite a young age (16/M) and I already have these feelings of worthlessness etc.

But I strongly believe in the lord and that spiritual belief has helped me so much recently, its even made me happy in a time where I was edging suicide.

And the worst part is relationships seem so easy, yet you can't do it. But I'm never going to give up, with god all things are possible. And I do hope everyone here finds someone. I realise that the people I find most attractive are the ones who smile, who have hope and people who are appreciative. I'm going to try and model myself off those type of people, and most of all, Jesus.

And yeah I understand some people will be angry because your very old compared to me, but I do wish the best for all of us.

God Bless

Carmen writes:

Subject: No answers here either

44/W/F. I've never been asked out on a date, but have been told by friends and family that I'm "a catch." As 45 approaches, and the thoughts of living and dying alone in retirement increase, the only thing I can do now is prepare for that inevitable conclusion.

Deb An writes:

Subject: me too

It hurts, doesn't it. I am really surprised how many of us are out there...I definitely don't feel so "freakish." I am 29/F.

Right now, I am looking forward to 30. I am happy with my life. I make my own decisions without having to think about any other factors. There are GOOD things in our lives.

But I WISH I could for once feel some validation, some warmth, some love.

Best of luck to all of us in "the club."

GB writes:

Subject: Glad I found this post

I am 26 about to turn 27 and have also never dated or had a boyfriend. I am shy and I have confidence issues, but I do dress well and I think I am at least mildly attractive. Its Saturday night and I am home alone again, but I am really glad to know there are dateless others out there. I also realized, that I don't even care about dating any more, who say you should get married, who says you have to do this by this age or have that by that age? Sometimes I do get lonely (like tonight) but I also have to remember that I am still a nice worth while person, and I hope that everyone else on this post remembers that as well- your relationship status does not define you or your worth. God Bless.

Maryellen writes:

Subject: 48 never been on a real date

Yes, I am a 48 yr old female, actually have 2 kids, but still, to this day never been on a real date. I seem to attract the "bad boys" and never really care in the end. I am a semi attractive woman, great sense of humor, and good Mom, but deeply want the closeness of someone who cares. It now bothers me that I have not been out on a real date, never a Valentine for me, never a gift just for nothing. Is there really someone out there for everyone? I wonder!

Gill writes:

Subject: Same story

I'm 22 -- which should place me on the younger side of this discussion. But, I have never been on a date, asked out, or even developed anything past an occasional coffee. I'm unfortunately a workaholic who thought that I would meet a nice, smart girl if I went to a really top university. But, although my professional life is in order, I still find myself perpetually alone. Nearly all of my friends are in relationships, and even faculty ask why I never show up to events with a date.

I throw myself back into work to get my mind off it, but it really hurts when at the end of the work-week I'm left with nothing on a Friday or Saturday evening. My friends and family tell me to find a balance and perhaps meet someone, but the girls I'm attracted to never reciprocate. What does occur is that I end up with numerous 'female friends' who come to me for advice, which is quite depressing, particularly since I often try to avoid being the 'nicest guy in the room.'

Fiona writes:

Subject: Relief

I am 20 and in the same boat as many of you. It is a relief to me to find out that I am not a complete freak. I have never been asked out on a date or had anyone who seemed interested in me. My first kiss was when I was 18, I was really drunk at the time and so was the guy. Bit embarrassing to look back on but it is the only time I have ever kissed someone. I live in a large town and all of my friends have boyfriends, but while I have plenty of male friends none of them have ever seen me in a romantic way. I know that none of you are interested in the details of my life but it is nice to write it down and know that I am not alone.

kim writes:

Subject: I feel your pain but here's what's worse...

I can totally relate to everyone's pain. I never had a date until I was over 31. I felt like a reject from life. Unfortunately, the first man who finally did ask me out (at age 32)asked me to marry him while he was clearly on the rebound from a past relationship. I craved love so much that I said "yes" even though we had only dated a short time. Forward 12 years and 3 kids and I am in a far worse place. I am married to a man who doesn't love me, probably never did, and treats with something far worse than lack of love - total indifference and disdain. Please, please don't do the same thing I did. You are a worthwhile human being. I know what it feels like to crave human attention and acceptance but don't lower your standards. Believe me, the pain and loneliness of being unloved in a marriage is far worse than anything I ever felt while I was dateless.

Valah writes:

Subject: I hear ya

I can relate to everything that's been said so far. I'm in my late 20's and I'm pretty dateless myself.

I have been out on one date (if you can call it that)...it was through one of those local singles chat rooms, anyways he showed up, and then spent his time talking to some other girl on the phone the entire time! I guess I wasn't interesting enough.

I can relate to the loneliness 'Big Time', I mean I'm nice, and reasonably attractive enough..

But it seems that everyone I've ever liked in my life either didn't like me back, or they already had someone.

It's to the point now, that if I'm attracted to someone, and I notice they have even the slightest amount of interest in me, I know they're taken! That's pretty sad..

Lately, what's really gotten to me is that all my girlfriends have all had babies.

Last year we were all single, and this year I'm the only one that still is. I would like to say that it's a shock, but I can't lie, I've always been single.

Sometimes I wonder if that's how it's always going to be... Now almost pushing 30, I didn't think that I'd be here.

At work is the worst, most of my co-workers are well meaning individuals, but most of them can't understand why I'm single.

One of them told me that I should "just go out with anything". She's fond of telling me how badly I need to find someone. I've always put up a good front, but these days I feel more like a first class loser.

Every year that goes by, and more loved one get married, or start families and I'm still the single one.

I know I'll keep going like always, I guess that's all I can do right now. Thanks for listening!

Stella writes:

Subject: keep it together people

OK.... I posted on this article about a month ago... when I wrote it, I thought I was lonely and missing out on a huge part of life. I continually have a hard time still being dateless, but not because I am truly alone, but because I feel not normal, or not pretty, or whatever. For myself, I find it is me trying to find a definition of self through the eyes of others as what makes me feel more dejected and unlovable, but I have wonderful friends, a supportive family, and a loving and fulfilling relationship with Christ. I know that not everyone will find solace in this posting, but I think someone needs to try to pick this party up.

If you (and I put myself in this statement) continually dwell on things that you THINK you are missing out on, then you are definitely missing out on the truly meaningful things in your life already. If you think you don't have anything in your life that is meaningful...I can promise you, a significant other WILL NOT fill that void in your life.

Instead, what if we took these internal emotions, and recognize our capacity to love others and GO AND DO THAT. Find others in your community that need love and acceptance and companionship. Don't wallow in despair, have hope that the love that you can give can and will be reciprocated. Think of all the opportunities that you as a single individual have to impact the lives of others. Each one of you is special and unique and have something amazing to offer your community, find that and you will find meaning and joy in life.

i hope that you do not find this posting an insult. I know that everyone just needs some encouragement now and again.

Laurence writes:

Subject: Losing hope...

I'm 35 and never been married, never had a gf, never had sex, never been kissed, never dated, and never even come close to dating. It's like this huge, heavy secret I have to keep to myself and never speak of in public. And with each passing year, the weight of this burden gets heavier and heavier.

There is just no acceptance or understanding whatsoever from society for people in this situation. If you're having serious marital problems, at least society understands that. But if your problem is never having had a relationship at all, no one understands. Tell someone you're middle-aged and divorced and they'll look at you with sympathy. But tell someone you're middle-aged and never had a date, and you'll suddenly feel like an alien on your own planet. Bad enough when you're young and everyone around you is hooking up. But when you're older and all your friends are married, having kids, and starting to socialize only with other married couples, it only makes you feel like even more of an outsider and a freak.

I read that it's actually more respectable - in women's eyes anyway - for a guy over 40 to be divorced than it is for him to be single! It's this kind of prejudice that shows how grossly unfair life can be to those who are different. I look at people in relationships and think they don't realize how lucky they are. Even if they're not totally happy or are having problems, they still have the acceptance of society. They can go to Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve gatherings without fear of embarrassment. They'll never be made to sit at the children's table because they have no mate. Or feel totally left out on Valentine's Day. Even if their marriage ends in divorce, they'll still have plenty of company in the form of other divorcees and support groups. Having had a relationship, even a failed one, guarantees they will never feel as alone and rejected by society as everyone here does on an almost daily basis.

Some of the messages I've been reading are about not giving up, not losing hope. But to me it seems increasingly naive, even reality-denying, to hold out hope. As time goes on, it seems more sensible to prepare for a life of isolation and loneliness than it is to prepare for a relationship that may never come. The light at the end of my tunnel grows dimmer the closer I get to it.

Unfortunately you only get one shot at life. And soon, all there will be left for me to do is mull over the past and wonder how I ever got to this dreadful point in the first place. :(

Tomek writes:

Subject: Feel like life isn't for me.

I'm in the same boat as everyone here, I'm only 22 but it still feels like an eternity. But my problem is a step deeper than what I can tell from these replies. In my case I want to *want* to be with someone. I had huge anxiety and self-esteem issues in high school. That's all passed somehow and now I can talk to anyone about anything. Sometimes I'll make an awkward comment on purpose just to see how people react.

And now I realize that I am not alone because of fear, but because I genuinely find it a hassle to be with people. I only socialize at school or work. Outside of school and work, the thought of being with another person doesn't even cross my mind. Any time I find a girl somewhat attractive, I think to myself "Do I *really* want to spend time with this person?" and the answer is always "No. No I don't."

I went to a therapist to see if I can fix this somehow, and what he told me was just that some people are just like that. Great. Now I get to go through life knowing that I'm missing out on something. Whenever I see couples holding hands, kissing, or hugging, or h***, just close friends relaxing and talking or something, it just feels like I'm watching a movie, where something cool just happened, but it's so unlikely that it just doesn't happen "in real life". Like a car jumping across a canyon or something. I just can't imagine being that close to someone, to actually have to think about them even when we aren't in the same room, and to *touch* them. So bizarre.

Kat writes:

Subject: Me too

I just turned 28 last week, and I've never had a boyfriend either. Sometimes I am fine with this ; other times, like tonight, it makes me feel incredibly depressed and lonely. I do have wonderful friends and a loving, supportive family(although they are currently scattered across the country for the most part), co-workers who are like a family to me, and two cats who don't care at all that I've single, so in a lot of ways I'm quite fortunate, but sometimes I still feel like the fact that I'm eternally single means that something's wrong with me

Chris writes:

Subject: Being single sucks.

I'm 32 and single all my life. Never had any female friends either. Its like I smell (I don't. I'm very clean)

I know a few girls from places I go to, but none of them have ever shown any interest. I'm only needed when something breaks and needs to be fixed. I'm sick of hearing them say: "You never had a girlfriend??" like its the most shocking news ever. I also look very young, sometimes mistaken for as young as 19.

Every now and then I'll get checked out buy a cute girl, but so far all of them were under age. It's extremely depressing that only jail bait look at me

I go to places and see young couples enjoying each others company, and I realize that I missed my chance.

leeann writes:

Subject: Yes it does.

I'm 24 and only been in one relationship. It's still something right? But similar to an above poster's experience, he only stuck with me because he was desperate. He didn't find me all that attractive (I'm overweight). We were together since high school and unfortunately, I eventually had a child by him. In spite of having a child in tow, he found someone more attractive and promptly kicked me and our 2 year old daughter out of his life. Now this has created more baggage and self-esteem issues than I can handle. I'm now neurotic about my weight, I'm bulimic, I smoke and exercise to the extreme. I have such a strong need to be desired. I don't want to settle again for someone who'll just do me because hey, I'm that easy fat chick. No one has ever, at any point in my life, expressed any sort of interest in me whatsoever. When I get the gall to approach a guy I'm interested in I get a semblance of indifference at best.

John writes:

Subject: Date

I am 31 and still looking for that special someone. It is very depressing being around a group of people that are couples and being the only single one there. All the people in my department at work are married or have girlfriends. I went out with friends and it was extremely depressing to sit at a table being the only single person at the table.

Dee writes:

Subject: 34 & never had a real boyfriend

Hey there, everyone. I feel your pain. I just knew I was the only one out here. I'm 34 and have been on 2 dates but they weren't real dates. They were just preludes...so the guys could get sex. They took me to dinner in hopes of scoring afterwards. I've NEVER had a real boyfriend. I lost my virginity at 20 because that was the first guy to pay me any attention. I certainly thought after I slept with him he'd be there forever. Wrong. He couldn't care less. Then there were other men I did the same thing with. I was craving love/attention so much, I thought sex was the answer. It just made me feel worse. They would only call me for sex and I'd fulfill that for them and then they would leave and I'd cry myself to sleep. Everyone around me is married with kids. I hate family gatherings cause the stupid questions come about when I'm going to meet someone/get married.

I never have been to the movies with a guy or to a show. Never had a boyfriend on holidays or birthdays or for that matter, any occasion. Seeing couples makes me want to gag. After school and work,I sit at home everyday by myself. Guys don't even look at me unless they have evil intentions. Other than that, they aren't interested. I'm a very conservative girl and have become slightly overweight. My weight has nothing to do with guys not asking me out. I used to be pencil thin and still no one asked me out. I've always been very quiet and passive so people just walk all over me and use me. I have no friends. It's just like people don't like me but try to befriend me because they know they can use me. I'm so starved for attention, I usually let them. That is not the way to go and I am taking steps to change that behavior.

The only people I talk to are older people (I work in Home Health as a caregiver to the elderly). I have self-esteem issues. I feel so undesirable and ugly. I really do think I will be alone forever. Some days I can handle it. Today was a bad day. I cried a lot today because this is just how it's been forever and for some reason, I just couldn't handle it. I never had a boyfriend/friends in high school or college because I wasn't allowed to date. My mom was afraid I'd get pregnant. I didn't interact with other kids because she was always afraid something bad would happen to me so she kept us in the house. I have siblings but I'm older than they are by 4,5 and 7 years. I have no one to relate to. I just sit in my apartment alone. Now I will be moving in with my sister and since I don't like people because I'm not very well received and afraid of rejection, I will be in the basement (which will be my room) by myself. Sometimes, I just want to die. I feel I have no purpose. I do know I can identify with you guys. I suffer from bipolar depression and there are days where I don't even care if I wake up or not. I'm dreading my 35th birthday in June. No one cares about it so why should I? I vacation alone (have been on 3 cruises alone and Florida a few times and people look at me like I'm an alien) and do everything else alone. Please know I understand and feel your hurt. It feels horrible and no one can really understand if they haven't been through it. I feel everyone's pain but I'm learning ways (and encourage you) to be happy with yourself and with God's help, try to salvage life. I think if I try hard enough, I can be happy as a single person. Please contact me if you want to talk. Maybe we can all encourage each other. You're all in my prayers.