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Peggy Ferguson - EzineArticles.com Expert Author
Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D., LADC, LMFT. Licensed Alcohol/Drug Counselor, Licensed Marriage/Family Therapist. Private Practice Outpatient Services. Specialty - Addiction in the Family Context. 20+ years in practice. Teaching people how to recover from the problems that keep you from being able to function well and be happy.
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- Addiction and Recovery - Why All Addicts in Early Recovery Need Structure
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Those in active addiction tend to live a life of chaos and disorganization. One of the benefits of inpatient treatment is that an addict entering recovery is provided with ready-made structure. This structure assists in facilitating recovery and preventing relapse.
- Effective Listening Techniques to Boost Your Communication Skills
[Self-Improvement] Good listening skills are crucial to effective communication and ultimately to successful problem solving. Listening skills can be developed with practice, especially when using active listening. Guidelines on how to improve your listening skills are given.
- How to Rekindle the Interest and Intimacy in Your Marriage
[Self-Improvement] When you are not devoting time and energy to your relationship it begins to suffer. Whether you are feeling bored, unloved, or too tired to care, you can benefit by opening up the lines of communication to nourish your relationship and restore its intimacy. Recommendations are given.
- Reasons Why Non-Addicted Family Members Don't Like Themselves - Answers From Ask Peggy
[Self-Improvement] Family members have a difficult time understanding the parts they play in a family member's addiction. They often want to know why they change as the addict changes.
- How You Can Help Regain Closeness in Your Marriage by Simply Talking
[Relationships:Communication] Communication is the cornerstone of relationship skills needed by couples to weather the storms of change that all marriages go through. Find out why communication is so important and what you can to do improve your communication skills.
- Communication Tips to Help Terrified Couples Make the Transition to an Empty Nest Marriage
[Relationships:Communication] When the kids finally leave the nest, many couples experience the long-awaited event as a let-down, and a loss. They have focused so long on the kids, that the relationship has not been center stage. They may feel awkward, lonely, lost, and alienated. With the pressure to pay attention to each other, they may need some help. Communication exercises can help with that.
- What You Don't Know About Conflict Communication Can Kill Your Marriage
[Relationships:Communication] Most people want to be in a committed and loving relationship and want to be happy in their marriage. Efforts to achieve that happiness often fall short despite many positive partner and relationship characteristics. One of the things that most often gets in the way is communicative efforts that end up maintaining negative interaction patterns.
- Begin to Restore Intimacy to Your Marriage by Improving Your Communication
[Relationships:Communication] When it feels like your marriage has run out of energy and you are looking for some inspiration on how to revitalize it, think about the difference that changing up communication behavior could have on your relationship. Communication exercises can help you get past the awkwardness and get started in a non-threatening way.
- Addiction and Recovery - Early Recovery Can Be an Emotional Rollercoaster
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Things begin to change when someone makes the decision to quit drinking and using other drugs. When an addict begins to detox, he or she may experience physical detox symptoms. Many people do not realize that there are often a number of emotional highs and lows, including mood swings. These mood swings can be quite troubling if they are unanticipated and misunderstood. People often make emotionally driven decisions in early recovery that they later regret once their emotions have calmed down or smoothed out.
- Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery - Deciding What to Do About an Adult Child's Addiction
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] When an adult child with addiction problems lives with his parents, those parents are faced with hard choices. The addict believes that he is only harming himself, yet the truth is that the addiction is hurting everyone and is typically tearing the family apart. Parents and significant others of alcoholics/addicts in deciding upon a course of action must make decisions based on what they can live with. There is a huge difference between bottom lines and threats.
- Addiction and Recovery - Defenses Distort Reality to Enable Continuing Alcohol & Drug Use
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Alcoholics and addicts have defense mechanisms that allow them to distort their perception of reality enough to continue to drink and drug despite the obvious problems caused in their lives by that behavior. Addicts often define "The Problem" as some piece of behavior that is associated with the drinking or using. The rationale is that if you can control the consequences of the drinking, you have control over the drinking.
- Addiction and Recovery - Maintaining Your Recovery Motivation - Or You Will Relapse?
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] People often find their way to recovery in the midst of a crisis. They may have gotten a DUI arrest, been fired, got a scarey report from the doctor, or her spouse may have given the bottom line demand, "Get help or we are getting a divorce." The alcoholic/addict may in fact, have a moment of clarity and really be able to see that they do have a problem and that help and abstinence is called for. Unfortunately, it takes a lot more to maintain sobriety than a desire to do so. Without maintaining your momentum and motivation, you will relapse.
- Family Addiction Recovery - The Alcoholic-Addict Went to Rehab, Now What?
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] You got him or her checked in. Now what happens? The treatment center staff is probably not going to call you to consult with you about the goals that should go on the treatment plan. You may not even hear from the treatment center staff for awhile. But in the meantime, probably within 72 hours, there is a good chance that you will hear from your significant other, saying, "Get me out of here". Do not rescue him or her. Instead, do these things.
- Addiction and Recovery - A Worksheet to Help Assess Your Relapse When You Have Fallen Off the Wagon
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Relapse is a symptom of addiction. Relapse is a symptom of many, if not most, chronic diseases. Addiction should be treated as the chronic disease that it is and relapse should be treated as a symptom of addiction. Relapse is not a character flaw or a moral failing. When you think of addiction as a chronic illness, you must conceptualize treatment and recovery from the same world view.
- Addiction and Recovery - Relapse - What About Detox When You Fall Off the Wagon?
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Addiction is appropriately treated as the chronic disease that it is. Recovery is a process that occurs over time. It often involves progress in an inconsistent series of starts and stops. Relapse is a symptom of addiction and a common piece of the recovery experience. Although relapse is predictable and preventable, it is nevertheless, a fact of life, in the dynamics of addiction and recovery. With relapse comes the inevitable questions about what to do about detox.
- Using the Problems Checklist to Guide Your Living Skills Development in Addiction Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] One of the main things that I teach newly recovering alcoholics/addicts to do, is to identify the roles that chemicals play in their lives. This is especially important since the chemical has occupied so many crucial roles or functions and that removing it from a person's life leaves big, gaping holes in their behavioral repertoire. When you identify the roles previously played by the chemical, you then identify possible healthy alternatives to replace the roles with. Sometimes chemicals are used to escape the problems of one's life. Use this Problems Checklist to identify areas of your life needing attention and living skills development.
- Top Ten Craving Management Tools That Alcoholic Addicts Should Be Using to Not Take the First Drink
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] The very beginning of recovery efforts are aimed at interrupting the self-perpetuating momentum of drinking or other drug usage. Not taking the "first" drink or drug in the cycle represents the first step in breaking this momentum. The "first drink or drug" is defined as the consumption of the first drink or drug that day, or after a period of abstinence.
- Addiction and Recovery - Drinking Or Using Dreams as a Normal Part of Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] When you have a drinking or using dream, you may wake up not really knowing if it actually happened. Many people in early recovery find it disturbing and frightening when they experience a "using" dream. These are those dreams where "using" is the central theme. Examples include being in a position to be tempted to drink or use other drugs, having the feeling or the sense that you did use, or seeing/experiencing yourself in the act of drinking and/or using, or successfully avoiding drinking/using.
- Addiction Recovery - 12 Do's and Don'ts For the Family While the Alcoholic is in Rehab
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Your significant other finally went to rehab. With all the events leading up to his agreeing to go to treatment, it may feel like a let-down. You may have breathed a big sigh of relief as you drove away from the airport or the treatment center after dropping him or her off. You may feel hope. You may still be waiting for the other shoe to drop. There may be a brief period where you don't feel anything before you start becoming concerned about what you are supposed to be doing now.
- Addiction As Disease Does Not Equal "Get Out of Jail Free"
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Sometimes family members have a hard time with the idea that addiction is a disease. When this is the case, it often has to do with the issue of responsibility. Sometimes family members believe that "disease" is equated with a "get out of jail free card" or not being held responsible. This is not the case.
- Guide to Eliminating Deception and Dishonesty - How to Get Real in Addiction Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Many people, while active in addiction, engage in deceptive, dishonest behavior, and diversionary tactics. These are part and parcel of addiction and the need to keep the extent of their problem hidden. It is difficult to juggle all the demands of being addicted with all the "normal" demands of living, plus hiding the addiction from others. This guide can assist in reclaiming your "real" self in recovery.
- Drug Addiction - Understanding the Nature of Addiction to Understand Cross Addiction
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Early addiction recovery is a fragile thing. One of the most frequent contributing factors in relapse is something we call "cross-addiction". Essentially what cross-addiction means, is that if you are alcoholic or addicted to other mood altering drugs, you will be addicted to other mood altering drugs. To truly understand cross-addiction, you must appreciate the character of addiction and the nature of mood/mind altering drugs.
- Coping With Alcohol and Drug Cravings - Prevent Relapse by Managing Cravings
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Cravings do not cause alcoholism or drug addiction relapse. Cravings are common in early recovery, but they can be managed to prevent relapse. You can identify the cues that set up cravings, and the defenses and ambivalence about recovery that complicate the relapse potential of cravings.
- Tips to Stop Drug Cravings - Take Action Now to Control Alcohol and Other Drug Cravings
[Health-and-Fitness:Drug-Abuse] Most people experience cravings in the early days of recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction. Cravings do not necessarily lead to relapse. Cravings can be prevented or managed so that relapse does not occur. A list of tools and techniques are given to help manage cravings and avoid relapse.
- Sexual Addiction - Help For the Sex Addict's Spouse - Part 5
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Spouses of sex addicts can get help for the effects of the addiction on their life. Finding the right kind of help is sometimes difficult. Spouses need help in working through the pain, shame, and betrayal.
- Sexual Addiction - Are You Suffering From Someone Else's Sexual Addiction? - Part 4
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Sexual addiction has negative effects on the self-esteem, mental health, and behavior of the spouse. Family members engage in compulsive behavior trying to control the sex addict. Co-addicts may feel responsible for the sex addict's addiction.
- Addiction and Recovery - Preventing Relapse by Making Good Choices
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Relapse is a process that occurs over time, in the context of significant decisions. Many people who relapse say that drinking or using was the furthest thing from their mind just before they consumed the chemical. In reality, most of the time, relapse was in process some time before the chemical was ingested. The relapse process involves a return to old thinking, old feelings, and old behavior. Simple decisions make a huge impact on whether you will relapse.
- Addiction and Recovery - Near Beer Causes Relapse in Addiction
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Don't be fooled by the term "non-alcoholic beer". Most "near beers" marketed as non-alcoholic beer have alcohol in them. Most contain 0.5% alcohol. And they do cause relapse in alcoholism. This is important to know and understand as we deal with the dog days of summer and approach traditional drinking holidays such as Labor Day.
- Drug Addiction - Cross Addiction and Relapse - 5 Cross Addiction Relapse Prevention Tips
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Addiction is a disease that has relapse as one of its symptoms. Cross addiction is one of the most common factors in relapse. Cross-addiction can be an example of relapse and/or trigger to returning to one's previous drug of choice. Cross-addiction usually refers to switching mood altering drug for another. Tips for preventing cross addiction relapse are presented here.
- Why Does an Alcoholic Drink Despite All the Problems Caused by It?
[Health-and-Fitness:Drug-Abuse] Why would an alcoholic continue to drink when his drinking is causing problems? Family members seek answers to questions like these and have difficulty understanding compulsion and denial. Addiction takes on a life of its own.
- Cross Addiction and Relapse - Examples and Relationships
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Cross addiction is one of the leading causes of relapse in early recovery. Cross-addiction involves being addicted to all mood altering drugs. The examples in this article illustrate cross-addiction and discuss its relationship to relapse.
- Quitting Pot - Establishing Abstinence in Early Recovery - 16 Tips to Help You Quit and Stay Quit
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] There really is addiction to marijuana. When trying to quit smoking pot, you may be experiencing detox symptoms and cravings. Both will go away if you don't use. The hard part of quitting pot is staying quit. Early recovery tasks focus on establishing abstinence and preventing relapse. Sixteen tips are given to help prevent relapse and to establish abstinence.
- Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery - How Can I Tell If My Partner is Serious About Recovery?
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Most spouses of alcoholics or addicts have been down this road before. Something has happened. Some crisis has gotten the attention of the alcoholic/addict and now he is motivated to get clean and sober. This time he is going to AA/NA and going to counseling. Promises made by the addict to stop the addictive behavior have gone unfulfilled in the past. Yet most of the time, when an addict is making those promises, s/he intends to keep them. This time is different. They mean it when they say it. How can I tell if my partner is really serious about recovery this time? Observe the behavior.
- Addiction Recovery - Preparing For an Alcohol Or Drug Intervention
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Family members gearing up for an intervention with an addicted loved one, tend be nervous about it. The target of the intervention, the alcoholic/addict, will be angry and resistant. Here are some concrete suggestions to help guide your intervention.
- Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery - What to Do When Your Child Relapses Just After Treatment
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] When your young adult or adolescent offspring is exhibiting all the symptoms of using again after just leaving the treatment center, there are some things you can do. If you didn't develop a behavioral relapse contract before they left treatment, you can still do it. Essential ingredients of a behavioral contract are discussed.
- Addiction Recovery Tools - Why You Want to Learn to Forgive in Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Although forgiveness is an important part of working through feelings, and thus, a tool of recovery and the healing process, it is an often neglected topic. People often erroneously equate forgiveness with forgetting.
- Working Through Feelings in Addiction Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] One of the most important tasks for maintaining abstinence in recovery is learning to appropriately manage and work through feelings. A concrete list of suggestions are given for how to deal with specific feelings that arise.
- Family Members Know That You Are Going to Relapse in Your Addiction Before You Do - Listen Up
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Addiction relapse has a negative effect on family members. They are able to see warning signs of imminent relapse before the recovering addict does. Relapse is predictable and preventable. Learn what you can do to help minimize your chances of relapse.
- Alcohol and Drug Addiction - Denial Enables the Addict to Continue to Use Despite Consequences
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Denial is more than outright disputing that there is a problem. Denial, in general distorts reality to the alcoholic/addict so that they can continue to drink/use with some level of emotional comfort, while experiencing the natural, negative consequences of their drinking/using.
- Addiction and Recovery - Choosing the Right Counselor
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] I am often asked for referrals for therapists in other parts of the country or even in other parts of the world. While I do not have the contact resources to make those recommendations, there are some resources available to help you find an appropriate counselor or therapist--wherever you are.
- Addiction and Recovery - Social and Environmental Triggers For Cravings Worksheet
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Even after you quit drinking or using drugs, you still have ingrained associations between social, feelings, and environmental cues and your drinking or using behavior. Identifying your cues or triggers can help them from turning into cravings and endangering your recovery. Knowing your vulnerabilities can assist you in planning what you will do when these situations arise. Use this worksheet to help you avoid relapse.
- Addiction Relapse Prevention Tool - The Emotional Cues For Cravings in Relapse Worksheet
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Addicts experience sensory, emotional/psychological, cognitive, environmental, and physical cues on a daily basis in early recovery. These cues or triggers, if left unchecked can turn into powerful cravings for the chemical. Cravings can lead to relapse. In order to avoid relapse it is crucial that you identify your cues, take action, and not let them turn into cravings. One powerful set of cues that can set off cravings are emotions or feelings. Uncomfortable feelings, usually negative emotions, have probably been among the cues or triggers associated with your drinking and using in the past. Identify how these feelings have been linked in the past to your drinking or drugging behavior and the how they may be serving as cues for triggers today using the Emotional Cues For Cravings in Relapse Worksheet.
- Addiction and Recovery - The Continuing Recovery Lifestyle Worksheet
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] A patient recently pointed out to me that most of the workbooks and worksheets that they find for addiction recovery is geared toward the very beginning of recovery. This patient was looking for an exercise that could help him advance further in his ongoing recovery.
- Addiction and Recovery - What is Detox?
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] "Detox" is the beginning of the process of recovery. Most people need some kind of help getting through detox. Some people need medical help or additional structure and support. The kinds of difficulties that an alcoholic or addict will have with detox depend on a number of variables, including, personal characteristics, the specific types of drug(s), combination of drugs, length of use, amount of use, and last use.
- Addiction and Recovery - Do You Really Have to Hit Bottom to Recover?
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] There is a generally misguided notion that you have to "hit bottom" to be able to get sober and stay sober. "Hitting bottom" is usually seen as the loss of the things that you value in your life. It is an individually defined event and the concept has probably hindered the recovery efforts of a lot of people or at least served as a rationalization for continued drinking.
- Addiction and Recovery - Choosing the Right Level of Care For Treatment
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Addiction is treated on a continuum of care principle, with a variety of treatment options available. The overarching goals of alcoholism and other drug addiction treatment is the development of abstinence and relapse prevention. Treatment services for addiction can range from a brief intervention in a doctor's office to long term inpatient treatment. Each level of care has its strengths and benefits. Treatment options are reviewed here. It is important to choose the appropriate treatment venue at different points in the recovery process.
- Addiction and Recovery - Don't Let Myths Keep You From Getting Sober
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] One of the myths that I hear daily is that you can't get sober for someone else, that you have to want it for yourself, or your recovery efforts won't work. This statement is both true and false.
- Addiction and Recovery - Ten Common Myths About Alcohol and Drug Addiction
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] People who don't know much about alcohol and other drug addiction, often buy into common myths and stereotypes about addiction and addicts. It is important to replace mistaken assumptions and judgments about addiction, so that you can approach those afflicted by the illness with compassion and understanding. Many people mistakenly believe that if you call addiction a "disease" that somehow it exempts the alcoholic or addict from responsibility of their behavior.
- Alcohol and Drug Addiction - Understanding the Differences Between Use, Abuse, and Addiction
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] When teaching about chemical dependency it is imperative to begin with a brief discussion of the differences between substance "use", "abuse", and "addiction". "Use" consists of the "appropriate" consumption of alcohol or some other mood altering drug. "Abuse" is inappropriate use of a chemical. Addiction encompasses the characteristics of abuse, along with additional criteria. Thinking of addiction in these distinct categories can be arguable when dealing with a chronic, progressive nature of addiction.
- Preventing Relapse in Addiction Recovery - What is Continuing Care?
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] It is generally acknowledged and accepted that addiction is best treated from a continuum of care framework. A continuum of care is a treatment concept that includes a stage of treatment called continuing care. What is treatment for addiction? Treatment is a set of therapeutic services. After primary treatment, alcoholics/addicts move into a continuing care stage.
- First Sober Fourth of July - Surviving the Fourth of July Without Relapse in Addiction
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] The fourth of July is significant for alcoholics and addicts in several ways. The Declaration of Independence was a statement of separation from a tyrannical ruler. With separating from the past they embarked on a new way of life. Many people come into treatment just after the Fourth of July, after having had a "close call", a DUI, a wife who left, or after totally embarrassing or humiliating themselves in drunken or drugged stupor.
- Addiction and Recovery - Defining Recovery As More Than Abstinence
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] People often mistake a treatment service or a treatment episode to be "recovery". The term is often used interchangeably with "treatment" or "rehab". Yet even "treatment" is not a single modality or event. "Recovery" has a number of different definitions based on the frame of reference of the person doing the defining. Recovery is a lifelong process that begins with abstinence, and continues with ongoing changes in every area in a person's life.
- Addiction and Recovery - Denial Keeps The Disease Active
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] People who have addictions are assisted by defense mechanisms to persist in consuming the desired chemical. They selectively ignore, disregard, or dismiss obvious negative consequences of their drinking/using. Defenses are normal survival mechanisms, that when applied to addiction, are no longer in the best interest of survival.
- Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery - Loss of Control Defines Addiction
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Alcohol and other drug (AOD) addiction is a disease that is manifested by compulsive consumption of alcohol and/or other drugs. Addiction involves a loss of control. As with any other chronic disease, relapse is a common feature. Many people erroneously believe that for someone's drinking or using to be considered "addiction", it must involve loss of control each time a person drinks alcohol or consumes other drugs. This is not necessarily the case. Every time an alcoholic drinks he does not necessarily drink to black out or drunkenness.
- At Wit's End - The Recovering Parent Trying to Figure Out Normal Adolescent Behavior
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Regardless of what you might be inclined to think, your adolescent has not carefully crafted a grand plan that will slowly, but deliberately drive you stark, raving mad. As a recovering person, and having little to go on with knowing what "normal" adolescents do, think, and feel, you watch in bewilderment as your beloved child moves from the adorable, smart, and cooperative little person to a sullen, disrespectful, disobedient teen.
- Sexual Addiction - Denial Enables Sexual Compulsivity to Persist in Spite of Negative Consequences
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Sexual addiction, like any other addiction involves defense mechanisms that allow the desired behavior to persist despite negative consequences. The sex addiction attributes the problems associated with his/her sexual behavior to anything but the sexual behavior. Since sexual addiction co-occurs with other addictions, the other addictions often get blamed for unintended behavior or consequences. And the combination of addictions and/or their patterns of interactions can prompt unintended behavior or consequences.
- How To Tell If You Have Low Self Esteem and What to Do About it If You Do
[Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] People with low self-esteem have a low estimation of their inherent worth. They tend to see themselves as inadequate, incompetent, unworthy, less than others, and unlovable. Low self-esteem is closely related to low self-efficacy. Self-efficacy means that you have power to produce effects.
- If the Obama's Can Do It, So Can You - 3 Easy Steps to Having a Date Night
[Relationships:Marriage] If the Obama's can do it, you can do it. Date night is a common practice used by couples all over the world to make sure that they treat their marriage as the priority that they claim it is. "Date night" is one of those tools that helps keep marriages strong. Most couples are under a great deal of stress from demands all about them. Couples who are in trouble with their marriages tend to work against each other in these conditions. Couples who stay connected and use the tools to keep their relationship strong are better able to weather the stress.
- Sexual Addiction - How to Find Help For Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Finding professional help for sexual addiction is often not quite as easy as it might seem. Finding out about a partner's sexual addiction creates a crisis within the couple and within each partner. Help is needed to sort through the feelings, behaviors, and impediments to working through the problems and reaching restoration and recovery. Tips are given in how to find the help you need.
- Alcoholic Marriage in Recovery - Eight Super Simple Things You Can Do to Begin to Restore Intimacy
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Intimacy is a state and a process that involves sharing who you really are with another person. It involves a great deal of vulnerability. People in alcoholic marriages tend top be well-guarded and defended. Long standing conflict makes it difficult to risk vulnerability. Here are some tips that you can do today to begin to restore intimacy to your relationship.
- Communication in Addiction Recovery - Twelve Guidelines For Family Feelings Meetings
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Before recovery, there are all kinds of admonishments against feelings in the family. After treatment and in early recovery, everything changes. Family members are now expected to openly, honestly, and directly share their feelings. They may not know how. Guidelines for holding Family Feelings Meetings, which can assist in this learning process are given here.
- Sexual Addiction - How to Get Help For Sexual Addiction When You Don't Have Money
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Help for sexual addiction is available--even if you don't have financial resources. Most communities have state supported counseling resources, such as community mental health centers and substance abuse treatment centers. Some offer inpatient treatment. Some offer outpatient treatment. Some offer both. Any place that has a"sliding scale", which is cost based on adjusted income, probably has a state contract.
- Marital Infidelity - Are Cyberaffairs Infidelity? Are Internet Relationships Cheating?
[Relationships:Affairs] Cyberaffairs seems to have evolved as the descriptive term for online affairs, cyber-affairs, online flirtations, or online sex talk. Is it infidelity? Cyberaffairs, which encompasses all the above descriptors, is an online emotional (or sexual) affair when there is no physical contact between the participants. Cyberaffairs pose a very real threat to your marriage.
- Self-Esteem - 7 Things You Can Do Today to Build Your Self-Esteem - Part 2
[Self-Improvement:Happiness] Self-esteem can be improved through your own efforts. Seven things that you can do today can start you off in the right direction to improve your life.
- Self-Esteem - What is Self-Esteem and Why Do I Need Some? - Part 1
[Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Self-esteem is more than just feeling good about yourself. Self-esteem comes from how you think and feel about yourself. The concept encompasses not only the cognitive and emotional appraisals of self, but also has behavioral components. These three components reinforce each other in a circular fashion.
- Your Spouse's Infidelity Revealed - Of Course You Are Angry and Scared - Part 1
[Relationships:Affairs] Infidelity can be revealed in a lot of different manners, but regardless of how you discover that your partner has been unfaithful, it is painful. Common reactions and experience of the betrayed partner is discussed. Many betrayed spouses feel like they are going crazy. This article lets you know what others have experienced when it happened to them.
- Your Spouse's Infidelity Revealed - Getting Over the Shock and Getting To Recovery - Part 2
[Relationships:Affairs] Infidelity is enshrouded in secrecy and finding out about it is a devastating shock to the other spouse. Regardless of how you find out, the impact of the discovery is tremendous and can be life altering. This article lists ways to begin to recover from the shock and to begin to heal from the trauma.
- Benefits of Marriage Counseling - Ten Relationship Skills You Can Gain From Marriage Counseling
[Relationships:Marriage] One of the major benefits of marriage counseling is the opportunity to gain new relationship skills. Although communication skills development is an important goal for couples counseling, there are other significant skills to be developed. A list of skills that you can gain through couples counseling is presented.
- Sexual Addiction - How Do You Know If Infidelity is a Symptom of Sexual Addiction? 10 Indicators
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] When you discover your spouse's infidelity and you keep hearing about sexual addiction in the media, how do you know that your spouse's infidelity is not a symptom of actual sexual addiction? Ten indicators that it could be sexual addiction are identified here.
- Sexual Addiction - Early Abstinence Skills
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] For most sex addicts, abstinence is encouraged in early recovery. A period of 30 - 90 days of complete abstinence is often recommended. Although each sex addict must define abstinence and recovery for himself or herself based on their own unique addiction and history, initial abstinence usually involves all sexual behavior, including masturbation. Early recovery skills involve establishing sexual abstinence in the face of an overwhelming urge to act on one's sexual compulsions. Pointers for establishing abstinence are discussed.
- Family Dynamics of Recovery - Establishing Interdependent Relationships and Learning to Be Healthy
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] When you grow up in an addicted family, it is difficult to trust oneself and others. One way to deal with the inconsistencies and instability is to learn to be extremely independent. In the process of trying to become healthy, there is a tendency to do the opposite of what you learned growing up. Health is usually somewhere in the middle between opposite extremes.
- Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery - How to "Let Go" to Regain Your Own Peace of Mind
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] In the midst of the fear, anxiety, and chaos of an addicted family system, the non-addicted family members feel compelled to try to re-establish some kind of control. With all the various attempts that they make, they cannot consistently control the addiction or the consequences of the addiction. To regain control over your own peace of mind, learn how to "let go".
- Addiction Recovery Skills - How to Gain Assertiveness to Empower Your Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Alcoholics and addicts are called upon to learn new living skills to replace the roles that chemicals played in their lives. Some of the most important skills to be acquired in early recovery are effective communication and relationship skills. Assertiveness is necessary for communication and relationship skills.
- Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery - Regaining Trust in Early Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] A common question that I hear from people at the beginning of recovery from addiction is about how to get their loved ones to trust them again. This is often a premature question, when the newly abstinent person is in the very early stages of change. This article discusses common individual and family dynamics of early recovery in regard to expectations about trust.
- Dynamics of Recovery - Learning the Secret of Establishing True Intimacy in Your Relationship
[Relationships:Enhancement] Intimacy is not just about sex. There are several types of intimacy, and if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you probably have not learned how to do intimacy. Differing levels of need for closeness vs. distance is discussed.
- Why Seek Marriage Counseling - Whether High Conflict Or No Energy Left, Marriage Counseling Can Help
[Relationships:Marriage] Why seek marriage counseling? Although some people still have some mystical, magical "shoulds" in their minds that say that "you should be able to solve your own problems without help", getting assistance for marital difficulties is now acceptable and commonplace. Many of your neighbors, office cohorts, and possibly even people in your own family, have sought and benefited from marital counseling.
- Family Dynamics of Addiction - Family Systems Can Work For Or Against Your Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Alcoholics/addicts do not normally live in a world made up exclusively of alcoholics and addicts. Most people suffering from addictions have a multitude of people in their lives who are affected by the addiction. In a family (and any system) each part affects every other part--not only in active addiction, but in recovery. When there is addiction in your family, it is vital to get help, even if you are not the addict. Family members also impact the recovery of the addict.
- Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery - 14 Enabling Behaviors For Family Members to Quit Now
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Family members, in their attempts to solve the problem of a loved one's addiction, try every thing they can think of, to turn the addict's life back around. They usually identify the problem incorrectly for a long time before it becomes obvious to them that addiction is the real problem. Consequently, they think that the right job, girlfriend, car, medication for ADD, etc, will solve the problem. These concerned relatives usually attempt rational and reasonable approaches to the problem. These rational, reasonable approaches applied to this irrational, and unreasonable problem of addiction, do not work. In the process of trying to solve the problem of addiction, these significant others unwittingly become "enablers".
- Communication in Recovery - Using "I" Messages to Get Your Point Across and to Be Heard
[Relationships:Communication] One of the most important tasks in early recovery is to develop good communication skills so that you will be able to effectively problem solve. Moving from "you" messages into "I" messages, is a cornerstone for building those effective communication skills. This article tells you why "I" messages are more effective than "you" messages.
- Communication in Recovery - Learning to Listen Well For Good Relationship Skills
[Relationships:Communication] One of the major tasks of early recovery is to learn and practice effective communication skills. To be effective in communication, you must have good listening skills. To be a good listener practice the active listening skills listed here.
- Family Treatment - 8 Good Reasons to Be Involved in Your Addicted Loved One's Addiction Treatment
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] There is a multitude of a reasons why the family members of alcoholics/addicts should be involved in their treatment. Eight positive things that you get to take away from participation are listed here. Common experiences of the family members and the benefits derived from being involved in the recovering person's treatment are discussed.
- Communication in Recovery - Ten Steps to Fair Fighting
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] One of the most important tasks of early recovery is to learn to effectively communicate and problem solve. In order to do that, it is important to learn to de-escalate arguments and turn them into pro-active problem solving sessions. You can learn to do that by following this 10 step process to fighting fair.
- Communication in Recovery - 10 Dirty Fight Tactics to Avoid
[Relationships:Communication] When trying to develop effective problem solving skills for your relationships in recovery, you must first identify what you are doing that does not work. Dirty fight tactics are listed here to help you identify what you are doing that is not helping you get your point across.
- Communication in Recovery - Guidelines For Setting the Stage For Effective Talks With Your Loved One
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] One of the most important tasks of early recovery is to learn to communicate effectively--especially in your most important relationships. In order to do that, some simple guidelines can help you set the stage to be effective in your communication with your loved ones. These simple guidelines are listed here.
- Seven Steps to an Alcohol or Drug Intervention on Your Adult Loved One
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Learn how and when to do an invention on alcoholic/drug addict loved ones. Use timing and crises as your ally in helping your loved ones find treatment and recovery. Move from enabling to helping.
- Finding Love in Recovery - Important Factors in Learning How to Love in Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Even though you may be working a good program of recovery, you may still that something important is missing. You may be included to fill that gap in your life with romance. Ill-timed romantic relationships could sabotage your recovery. Find out what skills you need to be successful in recovery.
- There Really is Such a Thing As a Healthy Family - Description For Recovering Families
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] People from addictive families often do not know what a healthy family looks like. Some believe that there is no such thing. This article describes the characteristics of a healthy family.
- Cognitive Therapy For Feelings - Change How You Think to Change How You Feel
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Cognitive therapy is one of the most powerful tools in working through feelings in recovery. To use this technique, you identify the event, the belief, the feelings, and the behavior associated with the belief to challenge any cognitive distortions about that event.
- Let Your Family Member Recover From Addiction - How the Family is in the Way
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Addicts are out of control with their addiction. Family members feel compelled to take control. In the process, the addict and the family members engage in a struggle over control. This struggle enables the addict to view the struggle with you as "the struggle" and to not face their struggle with their addiction. This article has a description of the family member's compulsion to take control.
- Boundaries, Bottom Lines, and Threats - Knowing the Difference Can Empower Family Member Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] There are differences between bottom lines, boundaries, and threats. For family members of alcoholics and addicts, knowing the differences can empower and enable their own recovery.
- The Naked Truth About Sexual Addiction
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Sex addicts use all manner of defenses to keep from realizing that there is a problem. A list of excuses, rationalizations, and defenses are discussed. The reality is that sex addiction is damaging not only to the addict, but to the family as well.
- Relapse and the Family
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Recovery of the addict does not produce recovery in the family members. Relapse of the addict does not create relapse of family members. Family members don't cause relapse in the addict. Process of recovery and relapse are similar for addict and family members. Symptoms of family member relapse are discussed.
- Feelings Management - Learning Living Skills For Addiction Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] One of the most needed skills for early addiction recovery is the ability to appropriately manage and process feelings. A tutorial is presented for identifying, expressing, and working through feelings. Ability to manage and process feelings is one relapse prevention tool.
- Sexual Addiction - Are You a Sex Addict? - Part 2
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Sexual addiction is pattern of compulsive sexual behavior that continues despite obvious negative consequences. Sexual addiction creates shame, guilt, and self-loathing. Some symptoms of sexual addiction are listed. Sex addicts need help getting addiction under control.
- Sexual Addiction - A Brief Description - Part 1
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] If you see yourself in this brief description of sexual addiction, it can be the beginning of achieving recovery and getting your life back. The hope is that there is recovery, that it is possible. "The journey of a thousand miles begins by taking the initial step". The good news is that you don't have to make the journey alone.
- Sexual Addiction - Help For the Sex Addict - Part 3
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Sexual addiction can be treated in inpatient and outpatient settings. The first goal of treatment is the elimination of the sexual acting out. Abstinence has to be defined. Triggers for relapse must be identified.
- Early Addiction Recovery - Essential Things You Need to Know For Your Marriage to Survive Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] The first year of recovery is not only difficult for the recovery person, but for the family as well. Many marriages that make it through decades of addiction do not survive early recovery. Knowing what to expect in early recovery can empower you to keep your marriage intact and to thrive in recovery.
- Family Addiction Recovery - Detachment With Love As a Tool For Recovery
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Alcohol/drug addiction has typical progression for addicts and for family members. Family members try to solve the problem of the addiction and inadvertently enable the addict to continue to use. Family members can learn to help the addict by learning to let go and detach with love.
- Stop the Tag Team Enabling - Get You Whole Family on the Same Page to Help the Addict in Your Family
[Self-Improvement:Addictions] Family members want to save their alcoholic/addicts, but find that the attempts they make to help the addict, ends up enabling them. Addicts typically have layers of enablers, who step in to enable after others have detached, thus maintaining the addiction. When family members are able to communicate with each other and get on the same page, the addict can suffer the consequences of their behavior and be motivated to change.
- Is it Seasonal Affective Disorder and How Do I Fix It
[Health-and-Fitness:Depression] What are the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD? What kinds of treatment are helpful for SAD?
- Getting Unstuck and How You Can Get There From Here
[Self-Improvement:Empowerment] People have lots of ways of getting stuck in their lives and have a hard time getting unstuck. You can get unstuck by looking at how you think and by doing something different.
- Pre-Marriage Counseling IS For You
[Relationships:Dating] Pre-marriage counseling or marital education is important to help insure your marriage's success and longevity. In pre-marriage counseling you learn to communicate, resolve conflict, and problem solve about potential problem areas. Pre-marriage counseling or marital education qualifies you (in Oklahoma) for a marriage license discount.
- Post - Holiday Let Downs - How to Survive and Thrive
[Health-and-Fitness:Mental-Health] Avoid compulsively spending to get over the post-holiday let downs. Instead, review, assess, and plan for the next year.
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