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Nancy Wasson - EzineArticles.com Expert Author
Nancy Wasson, Ph.D., is the co-author of “Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says ‘I don’t love you anymore!’” She has more than twenty years of experience as a counselor working with individuals, couples, and families. Her current focus is on helping couples who want to keep their marriages strong and avoid divorce. Complete information about her telephone and email coaching and consultation services, as well as her book, is available ... [More]
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- Stop Divorce - Ten Danger Signals to Watch For in Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Do you know the ten danger signals that indicate possible problems in a marriage? It pays to be attentive and vigilant if you want to have a healthy relationship. Since the majority of the communication between spouses is non-verbal, it's important to pay attention to much more than just a spouse's actual words. This article lists ten behaviors to watch for that can help you to head off trouble in your marriage before problems become more serious.
- Are You Letting the Economy Set the Mood For Your Marriage?
[Relationships:Marriage] Do you and your spouse struggle with marriage problems due to the economy and the overwhelming press? If yes, you have an even greater challenge than usual--and that is to stay focused and committed in spite of the current economic crisis and dire predictions.
- Eight Valentine's Day Gifts That Can Improve Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Are you wondering what to give your spouse for Valentine's Day this year? Would you like to give something with long-reaching impact? If so, here are eight Valentine's Day gifts to consider that can improve the quality of your marriage. Many are free or low-cost and won't strain the budget, but they all have the potential to be the "gift that keeps on giving."
- What Should You Expect From Counseling?
[Health-and-Fitness:Mental-Health] Have you ever wondered if you're getting your money's worth from your counseling sessions? Many individuals and couples who attend individual or joint counseling ask this question. This is reasonable, considering the effort, expense, and time involved in participating in weekly counseling. Here are ten points to consider when you're evaluating the effectiveness of the counseling services that you're receiving.
- Surviving the Holidays When Your Marriage is Shaky
[Home-and-Family:Holidays] The holidays are normally a stressful time. But when you're having marriage problems, they're even more difficult. It's hard to get excited about holiday decorating, gift buying, family dinners, and parties when all you can think about is whether your marriage will make it or not. So what can you do? Here are ten suggestions that will help to lessen your stress.
- How to Cope When Your Spouse is Depressed
[Health-and-Fitness:Depression] Living with a depressed spouse can be extremely stressful for the partner and other family members. Communication is impacted, the couple’s social life suffers, and feelings of satisfaction with the marriage decrease. Here are fifteen ways to cope and keep your sanity when your spouse is depressed.
- Why Retaliation Affairs Only Make Things Worse
[Relationships:Wedding] It's not unusual for a spouse whose partner has had an affair to have a "get even" or "retaliation affair." The betrayed spouse may want to hurt the partner like he (or she) has been hurt. But retaliation affairs only make things worse - here are ten reasons why.
- The Danger of Taking Your Marriage for Granted
[Relationships:Marriage] What is the most common attitude a spouse can have that leads a marriage down the path to breakup? If you said taking the partner for granted, you'd be right.
Read through this list of five behaviors and see if any apply to you and your marriage. Each behavior represents a dangerous "land mine" of trouble.
- Ten Ways Control Issues Can Harm a Marriage
[Relationships] Is your spouse too controlling? Are you too passive? Or are the roles reversed? Control issues refer to who’s in control, who’s in charge, or who’s getting their way. Significant control issues are always harmful to a relationship. Here are ten reasons you need to be concerned if you have unresolved control problems in your marriage.
- How Depression Can Threaten Your Marriage
[Health-and-Fitness:Depression] Untreated depression poses a very real threat to a marriage. Because mental health and unhappy marriages are closely entwined, when one spouse suffers from depression the likelihood is increased that both spouses will have an unhappy marriage. The burden of living with a depressed spouse can take a heavy toll on the quality of a marriage.
- What Makes a Spouse Vulnerable to an Affair?
[Relationships:Wedding] Do you ever worry about your spouse becoming involved in an affair? Have you wondered what makes a spouse easy prey for someone else who’s looking for an excuse to stray? If so, then here are ten tips to reduce the odds that your spouse will find solace in someone else’s arms.
- How to Cope with a Spouse’s Negative Attitude
[Relationships:Wedding] Is your spouse a negative person? Does he or she consistently zero in on what’s wrong with you and the marriage while overlooking the many positives? If so, here are eight steps to help you stay upbeat and positive.
- How to Build Rapport with Your Spouse
[Relationships:Wedding] Do you wish that you had better rapport with your spouse? Are you at a loss for what to do to increase communication and emotional intimacy? Here are five steps to jumpstart the process.
- How the Law of Attraction Affects Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Do you know how to use the Law of Attraction to improve your marriage? You have the choice to either expand the positive energy in your relationship or to expand the negative energy. Here’s how to attract more of what you want into your marriage.
- Marriage Advice: Seven Easy Ways to Improve Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Improving your marriage doesn’t necessarily have to involve huge changes on your part or your spouse’s. Even relatively minor changes can make a big difference in the quality of a relationship. Here are seven easy ways you can improve your marriage.
- Are Energy Vampires Hurting Your Marriage?
[Relationships:Marriage] Do you have some individuals in your life who suck the life right out of you or your spouse? While some people make you feel better after contact with them, others leave you feeling drained and exhausted. This article presents descriptions of five types of energy vampires and five ways to protect your marriage from harm.
- Eight Tips for Enjoying Valentine's Day Even If Your Marriage Isn't Perfect
[Home-and-Family:Holidays] Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a celebration time for lovers. But what if you’re in an unhappy marriage or your relationship with your spouse leaves much to be desired this year? Here are eight tips that can help you to make the best of the situation and feel like a winner.
- How to Sustain a Loving Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] To make real headway toward creating a loving marriage, focus on how you can be more loving and how you need to grow. This article provides guidance about what qualities are important in a healthy marriage and how to build a successful marriage.
- Has Complacency Compromised Your Marriage?
[Relationships:Marriage] Complacency can drain the excitement, passion, and energy out of a marriage. Being able to take a calculated risk can “stir the pot” when change is direly needed. Otherwise, a marriage can become dull or lifeless. Find out why you shouldn’t be afraid to rock the boat when necessary.
- What You Didn’t Learn in School About Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] You probably didn’t learn how to create a happy marital relationship when you were in school. Most spouses learn about marriage through the “School of Hard Knocks.” This article presents ten marriage realities that school never taught you.
- What Happens When a Husband Stonewalls and a Wife Criticizes
[Arts-and-Entertainment] Wives often don’t realize the damage that an over-abundance of criticism can do to a marriage. Husbands, on the other hand, often don’t realize the damage they are doing by stonewalling a wife’s attempts to improve the relationship. This article presents seven tips for breaking this destructive cycle.
- The Secret of How to Change Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] There’s nothing wrong with wanting a spouse to change as long as you don’t stop there. It’s important to take the next step and realize that when you change, then your relationship with your spouse will also change. This article shares the story of a wife who created a win-win situation for herself and for her marriage.
- Why Always Having to Be Right Can Poison Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] When a spouse feels that he or she always has to be right, you can bet that there’s trouble ahead for the marriage. Always having to be right interferes with healthy communication, shared decision-making, and satisfying intimacy. If you want to be happy, learn how to release the struggle and tension over who’s right and focus on what’s most important in your marriage.
- Sex and the Holidays
[Relationships:Wedding] Even couples with a relatively good sex life often feel the strain of holiday pressures. Stress and time constraints are a set-up for sex to be a disappointment, non-existent, unsatisfactory, or half-hearted. Read seven tips on how to reduce sexual tension and conflict during the holidays.
- What Is the Number One Attitude That Indicates Your Marriage Is In Trouble?
[Relationships:Marriage] Do you know that a trained observer could watch you and your spouse interact for several minutes and then predict with high accuracy whether your marriage will survive or not? Find out what specific behavior indicates serious trouble lies ahead and what you can do about it.
- Ten Road Blocks to Satisfying Marital Communication
[Relationships:Communication] Without good communication, you and your spouse are in danger of losing your heart connection. It’s critical that communication blocks be kept to a minimum. Ten behaviors that block communication are presented, along with the solution for each.
- Five Myths That Can Hurt Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Many spouses have grown up with misconceptions of what it takes to make a marriage work. Learn about five incorrect beliefs that can damage your marriage and how to adopt a healthier approach.
- Is There A Martyr In Your Marriage?
[Relationships:Marriage] Individuals with Martyr Syndrome routinely sacrifice their needs and wants for those of others. But then they complain, feel taken advantage of, and remind everyone of how much they have sacrificed. If this describes you or your spouse, find out what you can do to change martyr behavior and create a healthier marriage.
- Why It’s Difficult for Some Spouses to Apologize
[Relationships:Wedding] Is it difficult for your spouse to apologize and say that he or she is sorry? Or is it hard for you to offer an apology? Learn why some spouses avoid saying “I’m sorry” and five specific actions you can take if it’s hard for your spouse to apologize.
- Why Avoiding Conflict Can Kill Sexual Desire
[Relationships:Wedding] Do you think you’re being a “good” spouse if you stifle your irritation or negative feelings in order to keep the peace in your marriage? And would you be surprised to learn that avoiding conflict can cause you to lose your sexual desire for your mate? The build up of emotional debris from unresolved issues can smother the flames of passion. Find out why and what you can do about it.
- Is Your Mate's Passive-Aggressive Behavior Driving You Crazy?
[Relationships:Wedding] Does your spouse sound supportive and say all the right things, only to sabotage your efforts? Learn about the hidden anger and manipulation that creates "Crazy-Making Behavior" and how to recognize your mate’s passive-aggressive actions. Seven tips for handling a spouse’s passive-aggressive behavior are given.
- How to Forgive and Move On (Part 2)
[Self-Improvement] Have you struggled to forgive your spouse? Do you wish you could forgive and move on, but you don’t know how? Learn how to recognize when it’s time to forgive and how to let go of anger and resentment. When you forgive, you open a door that was not open before. This door leads to a field of possibilities for a new kind of relationship with your spouse.
- What is Forgiveness and Why Should You Care? (Part 1)
[Self-Improvement] There can be very legitimate reasons for feeling hurt and wronged in a marriage. But if you remain stuck in resentment, anger, bitterness, or vengeance, you will be unable to move on with your life in a healthy way. Holding grudges and hanging on to negative feelings reduces your capacity to enjoy life and to have maximum energy in the present moment.
- How to Cope with a Critical Spouse
[Relationships:Wedding] Do you often feel that your spouse criticizes you unfairly? You may feel that you're in a "no win" situation if you're already doing your best to please your mate but whatever you do isn't good enough. The ten tips presented in this article can help you cope with the excess negative energy that your spouse is directing your way.
- How to Recognize and Cope with an Emotional Affair
[Relationships:Wedding] Did you know that an emotional affair can be just as dangerous to a marriage as a physical affair, and sometimes more so? And that spouses who never had any intention of cheating can unwittingly become enmeshed in an emotional affair? This article tells spouses how to recognize an emotional affair and gives tips about how to cope.
- Marriage Counseling: How to Get the Most Value for Your Time and Money
[Relationships:Marriage] Marriage counseling is an investment of money, time, and energy that can give you and your spouse valuable lifelong benefits.
The ten suggestions in this article can help you to get the most value from your marriage counseling experience.
- Marriage Tips: Breathe Your Way to a Happier Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] One way to increase your chances of enjoying a happy marriage is to remember to breathe deeply. Does this sound strange? That’s because breathing isn’t usually tied in with marital happiness unless someone cracks a joke about the “heavy breathing” associated with sex. This article gives the benefits of deep breathing as well as four simple breathing exercises you can work into your daily life to help you relax and cope better with stress and relationship challenges.
- Before You Begin Marriage Counseling, Ask This Question
[Relationships:Marriage] There’s an important question that you need to ask the marriage counselor you and your spouse are considering using. The question itself may surprise you, as well as the answer your potential counselor gives. It’s an often-overlooked question that hardly anyone ever talks about. But the answer to this important question could save you time, money, and energy spent with the wrong therapist.
- Marriage Tips: Fifteen Ways to Say "I Love You" in 3 Minutes or Less
[Relationships:Marriage] To keep romance alive and nurture the intimacy in your marriage, you’ll want to know a number of ways to express your feelings to your spouse. Little expressions of love and appreciation add up over time and can help ensure that your relationship will keep its special sparkle and glow. Here are fifteen ways to say “I love you” that you can easily implement even during a busy work week.
- Marriage Advice: Seven Marriage Myths You Can't Afford to Ignore
[Relationships:Marriage] If you’re like most people, you probably entered into marriage with a number of unchallenged assumptions in place. Why should you be concerned if this is the case? Because what you aren’t aware of can blindside you down the marital road, that’s why.
Review these seven misguided assumptions for a quick reality check.
- Can a Marital Separation Ever Save a Marriage?
[Relationships:Marriage] As an experienced counselor, one of the questions I’m asked frequently is, “Can a marital separation ever save a marriage?” My answer is a qualified “yes.” In this article, I explain why a separation may help in certain situations. Also, specific tips are offered for those thinking of separating from a spouse.
- Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Dislike Sex
[Relationships:Wedding] It’s really not difficult to ruin what could have been great sex. If that’s your goal, following these twelve suggestions will ensure that, over time, your spouse will become very creative in finding ways to avoid having sex with you. Of course, I'm writing this article “tongue in cheek” to make a point. But I can assure you that these behaviors will detract from your sexual relationship with your partner.
- Marriage Advice: Ten Ways to Add Romance to Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Every marriage needs a healthy dose of on-going romance to add spice, delight, and fun to the relationship. It’s not enough to just start out with a sizzling romance. You have to find a way to keep the romance alive as the months and years accumulate. Here are ten tips to help you sprinkle romance into your marriage.
- Marriage Advice: Eight Steps to Marital Harmony
[Relationships:Marriage] The formula for marital harmony and success is not a mysterious secret. It’s actually very straightforward. The eight steps in this article will guide you in looking at what you can do to increase your chances for creating a happy, harmonious marriage.
- Marriage Advice: Twelve Steps to Creating an Affair-Proof Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] There’s no way to absolutely guarantee that your marriage won’t be blindsided by an affair on your part or your spouse’s, but there are definite steps you can take to greatly reduce the probability. So what can you do to “affair proof” your marriage as much as possible? This article presents twelve steps that will guide you in building a stronger marriage partnership and help you and your spouse to withstand the lusty lure of temptation.
- Marriage Counseling: What to Do When a Spouse Flirts Too Much
[Relationships:Marriage] Flirting on the part of a spouse causes marriage problems for numerous couples. And it can at times be difficult to distinguish between a spouse with an extraverted personality who just naturally likes to joke and kid around versus the partner who is continually “on the make.” This article presents basic reasons spouses flirt and gives tips on what to do.
- Marriage Counseling: What Do Husbands Really Want in a Wife?
[Relationships:Marriage] A Wife is often shocked when her husband actually voices his desire to separate or divorce. She might have suspected that he wasn’t entirely happy, but she didn’t think he’d ever be the one to end the marriage. To better understand what husbands want, let’s examine five priorities men have shared with me in marriage counseling sessions.
- Marriage Counseling: What Do Wives Really Want in a Husband? Part Two
[Relationships:Marriage] Most wives want both a soulmate who they feel deeply connected to and emotional support and intimacy. This means that they want a husband who will talk about his feelings and who values having an emotional connection. So what’s a husband who has neglected this important area of marriage to do? The following five steps offer guidance and specific suggestions.
- Marriage Counseling: What Do Wives Really Want in a Husband? Part One
[Relationships:Marriage] Numerous men have pondered the questions, “Why does my wife say she’s unhappy? What does she want that I’m not doing?” Many of the men raising these questions have been blindsided by a wife’s confession that she’s not happy in the marriage and wants a separation or divorce. Learn what wives really want in a husband and how that's different from past generations.
- Marriage Counseling: How to Reduce Hurt Feelings When You and Your Spouse Disagree
[Relationships:Marriage] One of the biggest on-going problems for couples is how to reduce the hurt feelings that can result from arguments and disagreements. The fall-out from a no-holds barred “kill your opponent” verbal altercation can last for decades. Here are ten guidelines to help you and your spouse develop ground rules to protect your relationship when you disagree.
- Marriage Counseling: How to Keep Jealousy From Destroying Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Jealousy has often been called the “green-eyed monster,” and with good reason. The “monster” is fueled by envy and can over time devour the trust and harmony in a relationship.
For a marriage to be healthy, there has to be trust, and jealousy undermines that trust. Follow the recommendations in the following seven tips to keep jealousy from undermining your relationship with your spouse.
- Unhappy Marriage: Should You Stay or Leave?
[Relationships:Marriage] There's no one simple answer to the question "Should I stay in my marriage, even though I'm unhappy, or should I leave?" But there are some general guidelines that you can consider if you're in this situation. Use these thirteen tips to reflect on your marriage, your energy level, your commitment, and the degree of your dissatisfaction.
- Reduce Marriage Problems: Go and Wake Up Your Luck
[Relationships:Marriage] A Persian saying advises, "Go and wake up your luck." To do this, you have to wake up and start taking action toward your marriage goals. At some point in the future, it may appear to family and friends that you've been very "lucky" to have such a loving marriage. But you'll know the hard work behind the scenes that being "lucky" usually requires. Seven tips for how to be "lucky" in your marriage are presented.
- Marriage Counseling Advice: Give Your Spouse Space to Breathe and Grow
[Relationships:Marriage] When you try to change your spouse to be more like you want him/her to be to meet your needs and expectations, you are practicing "negative control." By crowding your partner and not giving him or her breathing room, you run the risk of smothering the very relationship that is most important to you. Couples who do everything together miss putting important spaces in their togetherness so that new, separate growth can occur. Without new growth and fresh input from each person, a relationship can stagnate and lack vitality.
- Marriage Counseling Tips: What to Do When Your Spouse Won't Talk
[Relationships:Marriage] What can you do if your spouse won't talk to you in spite of everything you've tried? This article presents tips designed to jumpstart your thinking about creative ways to open communication channels with your partner. The first thing you have to do is to grab your spouse's attention, which is what these tips are designed to do.
- Marriage Advice: Upgrade Your Marriage By Changing Your Focus
[Relationships:Marriage] Continually focusing on marriage problems makes the relationship seem even worse than it actually is. And what you focus on will grow and expand. Follow the advice in the five tips to train yourself to focus more on what's right with your marriage and your life. When you do, surprising things can happen in your marriage.
- Control Issues That Cause Marriage Problems
[Relationships:Marriage] Control issues cause problems in many marriages. If you've ever been upset because your spouse does things differently than you do, or has different opinions, you've bumped up against some of your own personal control issues and triggers. This article presents three important points to consider when looking at the control issues in your own marriage.
- Ten Beliefs That Can Contribute to an Unhappy Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn't happier? At least part of the answer may lie in the words you use in your self-talk and in what you say to your spouse. What you believe, the lies you tell to yourself or to your spouse, and what you deny or rationalize will all affect your marriage intimacy and happiness. You are asked to read ten statements to see if you recognize yourself in any of them. If so, it's never too late to make positive changes.
- How to Keep Hope Alive During a Marriage Crisis
[Relationships:Marriage] During a marriage crisis, you can feel like your whole world is falling apart and all of your dreams are being shattered. Despite your fear and anxiety, it's up to you to keep hope alive, especially if you want to save your marriage and your spouse wants out. This article gives nine tips on how to keep hope alive and how to cope during this trying time of crisis.
- Are You Fully Present in Your Marriage?
[Relationships:Marriage] When a spouse is physically present but mentally "out to lunch," the partner will feel the difference. In a marriage, intimacy is enhanced by feelings of connection and harmed when partners start feeling disconnected. One of the ways you can show respect and caring for your spouse is to give the gift of undivided attention. Follow the five tips presented to be more present in interactions with your spouse.
- How You Answer This Question Can Change Your Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] If you lost a letter your spouse gave you to mail, would you say "It got lost" or "I lost it"? Your answer to this question gives insight into your willingness to accept responsibility for your actions. As long as you look for reasons to avoid admitting you goofed, you're not being honest with yourself. And the resulting friction in your marriage can hurt your relationship with your spouse.
- Energize Your Relationship By Celebrating Hoodie-Hoo Day February 20th
[Relationships] What is Hoodie-Hoo Day and what does it have to do with your relationship? Hoodie-Hoo Day provides the perfect opportunity to do some pre-spring emotional housecleaning. Take this 7-question quiz and find out what you need to discard so that your relationship can feel less weighty and more energized.
- What Do the Words "I Don't Love You Anymore" Really Mean?
[Relationships] The words "I don't love you anymore!" can split a marriage wide open. The spouse who is blindsided by the unexpected news is often left awash in confusion and unanswered questions. This article looks at four possible meanings of "I don't love you anymore!" and tells what to do next if you're the stunned partner.
- The High Cost of Resentment and Anger in Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Couples who become mired in anger and resentment end up hurting themselves, each other, and their marriage. Because you can't create a peaceful marriage until you have inner peace yourself, the solution lies in letting go of resentment and practicing forgiveness.
- Enhancing Communication in Marriage
[Relationships:Communication] Communication breakdowns in a marriage lead to anger and misunderstandings. If you're guilty of any of the ten communication-blocking behaviors listed in this article, it's time to make a change.
- How to Nurture Intimacy When You're in a Long-Distance Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] Spouses in a long-distance marriage can stay connected if they are creative and willing to experiment. These tips will help you to keep and deepen that special bond of intimacy you treasure with your partner.
- New Findings on Happiness Have Implications for Rocky Marriages
[Relationships:Marriage] There are two actions you can take that will not only improve your own level of happiness, but that will also help strengthen a shaky marriage. Both will leave you feeling better about yourself and your marriage.
- 10 Valentine's Day Tips for Spouses Who Want to Improve Their Marriage
[Relationships:Marriage] To give yourself and your spouse an unforgettable Valentine's gift with far-reaching implications, follow these ten steps. Valentine's Day candy is soon gone, but the positive effect of these tips on your marriage can be enjoyed year round.
- Seven Valentine's Day Tips for Spouses in "Less-Than-Perfect" Marriages
[Home-and-Family:Holidays] If you're in an unhappy marriage, you need to plan ahead for Valentine's Day. These seven tips can help you to keep your perspective and sanity on what could otherwise be a depressing day.
- Improve Your Relationship by Taking Care of Yourself First
[Relationships] Before you try to fix your relationship, you need to take care of yourself first. You're in danger of getting in over your head if you skip these two important steps.
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