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Margaret Paul, Ph.D. - EzineArticles.com Expert Author   RSS

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the co-creator of Inner Bonding, a transformational six-step spiritual healing process. She is a best- selling author, noted public speaker, workshop leader, chaplain, educator, humanitarian, consultant, and Inner Bonding facilitator. She has been leading groups, teaching classes and workshops, and working with individuals, couples, partnerships and businesses since 1973. Margaret is passionate about evolving and teaching the process of Inner Bonding. Margaret is the co-author of Do I Have To Give Up ... [More]

[View Margaret Paul, Ph.D.'s Extended Author Bio]

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  • Loving Yourself First
    [Self-Improvement:Personal-Growth] Do you believe that loving yourself first is selfish? Discover why the opposite is true!


  • Hurt Feelings Vs Hurt Heart
    [Self-Improvement:Personal-Growth] Clifford, 42, married with children, told me during a phone session that he was tired of not feeling happy and joyous. "As a small child, I remember being so happy and excited about life. But my parents didn't receive me at all.


  • Fear of Failure
    [Self-Improvement:Success] Does the fear of failure stop you from doing what you really want to do? Discover how failure is a wonderful learning opportunity rather than an indication of your inadequacy.


  • Women Who Wish Their Spouses Would Die
    [Relationships:Marriage] Do you secretly hope your spouse will die? Do you feel awful for feeling this way? You are not alone! Discover the way out of the trap you are in, perhaps your marriage can be saved.


  • Healing Social Phobia
    [Health-and-Fitness:Anxiety] Do you suffer from social phobia? You don't need to stay isolated or go your whole life suffering from this debilitating anxiety. There is a way to heal!


  • The Silent Treatment
    [Relationships:Communication] Do you use the silent treatment to control? Are you at the other end of someone who punishes you with the silent treatment?


  • When is it Helpful to Apologize?
    [Relationships:Conflict] "When it is helpful to apologize?" asked Patricia. Her husband, Brent, often expected her to apologize and she was confused about when it was appropriate.


  • Does Psychotherapy Work?
    [Reference-and-Education:Psychology] Many years ago, when I became a psychotherapist, all I knew was the traditional psychotherapy that I had learned in school, and that I had personally experienced with many different therapists and many different forms of therapy. For 18 years I practiced what I had learned, and I was never happy with the results.


  • Is Your Partner Always Pointing Out Your Flaws?
    [Relationships:Enhancement] Do you believe that pointing out your partner's flaws is helpful to your relationship? Learn why this is not true!


  • High Maintenance Relationships
    [Relationships:Enhancement] Are you in a high maintenance relationship? Discover some of the various forms of high maintenance and how you are participating in this dysfunctional relationship.


  • Anger Power
    [Self-Improvement:Anger-Management] Does anger work to get you what you want? It really depends on what you think you want.


  • Relationships - Cheating
    [Relationships:Conflict] Why do people cheat in their relationships? Discover the underlying reasons for cheating and for openly having an affair.


  • Giving Up - Have You Given Up on Yourself?
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Have you tried everything you know to do and you still feel miserable? Don't give up - discover the cause in this article!


  • Disengaging From Your Family of Origin
    [Self-Improvement:Personal-Growth] Do feelings of fear and obligation stop you from disengaging from your abusive family of origin? You might want to reconsider this decision.


  • Why Don't I Have Friends?
    [Self-Improvement:Personal-Growth] If you are wondering why others have friends and you don't, read this article! What is your idea of a friend, and what is your idea of being a friend? What do you see yourself offering as a friend?


  • What Creates Confidence?
    [Self-Improvement:Empowerment] Do you lack personal or professional confidence? Do you often wonder at how others can appear to feel so confident? Discover the path to both personal and professional confidence.


  • I Feel Empty
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Do you often feel empty inside? Do you believe that others should be filling you up? Discover the real cause of inner emptiness and what to do about it.


  • Emotional Dependency Vs Emotional Freedom
    [Self-Improvement:Personal-Growth] Are you emotionally dependent? Has this wreaked havoc in your relationships? Emotional freedom is possible for you! Discover what causes emotional dependency and the wonderful results of emotional freedom.


  • Relationships - Giving Yourself Up Can Kill You
    [Relationships] Are you giving yourself up to attempt to make someone else happy and secure? If you are depressed, you might be abandoning yourself to care-take another, which is not loving to either of you.


  • Relationship Breakup - Heartbreak and Healing
    [Relationships:Conflict] Are you suffering from the heartbreak of a broken relationship? Do you feel like you can't live without your partner? Discover the likely cause of this heartbreak and how to heal it.


  • Do You Wake Up Happy Or Anxious?
    [Self-Improvement:Personal-Growth] Do you wake up anxious every morning? Discover what might be causing your anxiety and what to do about it!


  • It's All About Love!
    [Relationships:Love] Life is all about loving ourselves and others. We can't love others if we are not loving ourselves, and we are not loving ourselves if we are not loving others.


  • Relationships - The Art of Listening
    [Relationships:Communication] Really listening to someone and caring about their feelings is a great gift, but it is important to understand when listening is appropriate and when it is not. If you are active listening to another with an agenda to control, this could create resistance. However, active listening from a true desire to understand another's feelings and point of view can be magical.


  • Relationships - The Dance of Victims and Perpetrators
    [Relationships:Conflict] "He is always blaming me for the bad things that happen in his life, and then he tells me it's my controlling him that is making him so angry. He yells at me and puts me down rather than deal with his own feelings. How can I get him to see that he is the one trying to control me? How can I get him to take responsibility for his own feelings rather than keep on dumping them on me?"


  • Diet, Anxiety and Depression
    [Health-and-Fitness:Depression] Marianne consulted with me because of anxiety and depression. She had tried various forms of medication but was not reacting well to any of the drugs. She was exhausted from lack of sleep, and from the intense anxiety that kept waking her up.


  • Cinderella Was Not Saved - She Was a Happy Person All Along!
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Are you operating under the illusion that you need the right relationship to be happy? Discover why this is not true!


  • The Meaning of Life - Happiness?
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] What has heart and meaning for you? What brings you joy? What would your life look like if you followed your bliss?


  • Happiness and Financial Success - Which Comes First?
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] You might be surprised at the answer! Which statement do you believe is the most true?


  • The Power of Positive Thinking - Does it Work to Manifest?
    [Self-Improvement:Affirmations] Are you frustrated with affirmations that are not working? Discover why they are not working and what you need to do differently to manifest your dreams.


  • Love Asks For Nothing
    [Relationships:Love] It is very important to get clear on what love is, and what it is not. Are you clear on this?


  • Getting Love, Being Loving
    [Relationships:Love] Which kind of person are you - a person who tries to get love or a person who want to be loving? There is a huge difference between these two regarding whether or not you will have a loving and healthy relationship.


  • Love - Is This Romance Or is This Friendship?
    [Relationships:Love] While sometimes friendship can turn into romance, more often than not, if the spark is not there, it is not going to develop. Learn to differentiate between friendship and romance.


  • The Calm Mind
    [Self-Improvement:Mind-Development] Success is the result of being in a calm, peaceful, and joyous state of mind, and taking action based on this state of mind rather than from fear. This article is about how to get there!


  • Speaking Your Truth Without Blame Or Judgment
    [Relationships:Communication] Do you wait too long to speak up for yourself? Do you find that by the tine you finally say something, you are irritated or angry? All that can change when you learn to speak up for yourself immediately.


  • Emotional Incest - Will He Or She Change?
    [Relationships:Conflict] Are you with a partner who is emotionally incestuous with his or her child? Do you keep expecting your partner to change?


  • Addiction to Being "All Together"
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Are you a person whom others think has it "all together"? Are you addicted to appearing all together? Discover what you might be avoiding by appearing "fine."


  • Are You an Optimist Or a Pessimist?
    [Self-Improvement:Positive-Attitude] When you notice your thoughts, which kind of thoughts predominate? Do you find yourself often thinking pessimistic thoughts?


  • Relationships - Why Do You Attack and Blame?
    [Relationships:Conflict] Do you often find yourself angry and blaming in your relationships and you have no idea why you are behaving this way? Discover some of the reasons in this articles.


  • Conflict - Why Do You Argue, Why Do You Fight in Conflict?
    [Relationships:Conflict] Do you generally argue and fight when you have a conflict? This article helps you to become aware of what might be behind your fighting and arguing, and what you can do about it.


  • Fear of Failure - What Does Failure Mean to You?
    [Self-Improvement:Success] Do you have a fear of failure that is keeping you from success? What does failure actually mean to you? Discover the secret to success!


  • 10 Keys to Inner Peace and Joy
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] We all want to experience inner peace and joy, yet many people spend much of their time in anxiety and depression instead. Discover the choices you can make to consistently experience inner peace and joy.


  • Self-Esteem - Who Do You Want to Be?
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] It is not enough to think about who you would like to be. To enhance your self esteem, you need to also create images of your ideal self. Then you need to practice being the star in these little videos!


  • Alcoholism and Healing
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Jeffrey decided to work with me to deal with his alcoholism and resulting relationship problems. His past two marriages had ended in messy divorces. His business was falling apart. Yet in the face of all of this, Jeffrey could not or would not stop drinking.


  • Weight - The Key to Weight Loss
    [Health-and-Fitness:Weight-Loss] How often have you eaten something that you know is going to put weight on you and you tell yourself that it doesn't count? Do you have any idea how many calories you actually consume in a day, and how many you need to lose weight or to maintain weight? Is it possible that you think you are not eating much but are actually eating far more than you need?


  • The Dead End of Resistance
    [Self-Improvement:Motivation] Are you stuck in your life feeling alone, lonely, and empty? Have you tried various therapies yet nothing changes? Learn how the fear of being controlled may be causing an inner power struggle that is keeping you stuck.


  • When to Have Sex in a New Relationship
    [Relationships:Sexuality] Have you had sex with someone you thought was partner material, only to have the relationship disappear right after having sex? Learn how to never put yourself in this situation again.


  • The Challenge of Merging Your Lives
    [Relationships] Are you and your partner challenged in how to lovingly live together when you are so different in many ways? Discover the huge difference in conflict resolution when learning and caring are more important then controlling and winning.


  • I Love Him But I'm Not Turned on to Him
    [Relationships] Do you love your partner but rarely feel sexually turned on to him or her? Do you have arguments about sex? Discover the possible cause of this and how to begin to heal this common problem.


  • Relationships - When to Listen, When to Walk Away
    [Relationships] Do you listen to others even when what they are saying is attacking and blaming? Discover when is it kind to yourself to listen to someone and when is it kind to yourself to walk away.


  • Addiction to Venting
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] Do you find yourself venting to your friends or allowing your friends to vent to you? Discover how venting is an addiction and doesn't do the venter or the ventee any good in the long run.


  • Anxiety - A Lack of Reality
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] Brent started to work with me after his wife, Carla, suddenly decided to leave the marriage. They had been married five years and Brent thought everything was fine. Then Brent became ill and Carla withdrew.


  • The Consequences of Permissive Parenting
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] You are being a permissive parent when you are compliant, indulgent, or indifferent with your enchildren. When you are being compliant, you are giving yourself up and going along with what your children want to avoid their upset with you. When you are being indulgent, you are giving in to your children, even when you know it is not good for them - again to avoid their upset.


  • Consequences of Authoritarian Parenting
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Do you find yourself in power struggles with your children? Discover how trying to control your children can lead to the resistance and rebellion that characterizes authoritarian parenting.


  • Relationships - Prescribing the Symptom
    [Relationships] "Sam whines and complains to me a lot, and then expects me to be turned on to him and make love with him. When I don't want to, he gets angry," said Jackie in our first telephone counseling session. "I have become more and more shut down.


  • Self Abandonment
    [Self-Improvement] If you feel alone, empty, anxious, depressed, hurt, angry, jealous, sad, fearful, guilty or shamed, you are abandoning yourself. In this article, discover the ways you might be abandoning yourself.


  • Trusting and Honoring Your Feelings
    [Relationships] Do you allow others to make you feel wrong about what you feel? Do you often judge yourself for your feelings rather than trusting them and taking action for yourself based on them?


  • We Are Not Meant to Live Alone
    [Health-and-Fitness] Research indicates that loving, healthy relationships are vital to health and longevity. Yet many people in our society live alone with little love, caring and support. Loneliness is a major cause of illness.


  • Sharing Feelings - Information Or Attack?
    [Relationships] When you share your feelings with a person you are upset with, what happens? Discover when it is helpful to share your feelings, and when it is controlling.


  • What Does it Mean to Be Spiritual?
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] People often confuse spirituality with religion. People can be both religious and spiritual, but it is also possible to be religious without being spiritual, or to be spiritual without being religious. Discover the difference in this article.


  • Alcohol and Honesty
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Do you drink rather than speak up for yourself? Do you find yourself turning to alcohol when you feel invalidated, rather than speaking your truth to a friend or partner?


  • Are You Love Addicted?
    [Self-Improvement] Are you constantly feeling alone and empty inside? Are you often seeking to get love, attention, approval, compassion and connection with others? You might be love-addicted. Discover how to begin healing love-addiction in this article.


  • What to Do If Your Spouse Won't Go to Counseling
    [Relationships:Conflict] Do you keep trying to get your spouse to go into counseling with you? If he or she is not interested, discover how going into counseling yourself can change your whole relationship.


  • Dealing With Addiction in the Family
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Is someone you love harming themselves with an addiction? Learn how you can be of help to yourself and the addicted person.


  • Do You Need Others' Approval?
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Are you often anxious about how you perform and how you look? Are your good feelings dependent upon how others feel about you? Who is responsible for your self-worth - you or others?


  • Connecting With Your Higher Self
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] Are you stuck in your ego, suffering from the pain that being stuck causes? Learn how to access your higher self and the incredible wisdom and joy that is available to you.


  • Why Do You Want to "Communicate" With Your Partner?
    [Relationships:Communication] Many couples claim that their problems stem from a lack of communication. Discover which forms of communication work and which create problems.


  • Healthy Guilt, Unhealthy Guilt
    [Self-Improvement] Sometimes guilt is appropriate and often it isn't. Discover what causes guilt and the difference between healthy and unhealthy guilt.


  • Parenting - Prescribing the Symptom
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Rebecca was struggling with 3 year old Kevin's screaming. Whenever someone didn't do what he wanted, he screamed and screamed, hoping to get his way. Rebecca had tried many different things to get Kevin to stop screaming, such as time outs, telling him to use his words, walking away and ignoring him, taking away toys and taking away events, such as a birthday party.


  • The Need For Emotional Intimacy
    [Relationships] What can you do if you are in an emotionally disconnected relationship and you don't want to leave due to children? Discover the things you can do to both improve your relationship and your own wellbeing.


  • Leaving an Abusive Relationship
    [Relationships] Are you staying in an abusive relationship thinking that the problems are your fault? Do you think that if you change your partner will change?


  • Self-Judgment and Sexual Addiction
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] There are many reasons for sexual addiction. In this article, discover how self-judgment and the resulting inner tension may be a major reason behind much sexual addiction.


  • Relationships - Mysteries of Attraction
    [Relationships] Do you find yourself attracted to the same kind of person over and over and it never works out? Discover how your low or high frequency determines the kind of person you will attract.


  • Doorways to the Presence of Spirit
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] "How can I be more spiritually connected? How can I hear the voice of my spiritual guidance?" I frequently hear these questions from my clients and from people who attend my workshops and intensives.


  • Addiction to Numbness
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] Do you numb out as a way of avoiding painful feelings? Are you afraid if you feel your pain it will overwhelm you? Discover how to manage life's painful feelings.


  • Control and Resistance - The Relationship Gremlins
    [Relationships:Conflict] Are power struggles contaminating your relationship? Are you and your partner stuck in a control/resist system? Does it seem like the only way out is to leave?


  • Forgiving Your Parents
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Do you feel that you want to forgive your parents yet your resentment keeps surfacing? Discover the path to true forgiveness.


  • If I Am Myself, I Will End Up Alone
    [Relationships] What are you giving up of yourself to protect yourself from ending up alone? What do you believe will happen in your relationships if you take care of yourself instead of take care of others?


  • Moving Beyond Codependency - Saving Your Marriage
    [Relationships:Marriage] Is your relationship stuck in a codependent system, one person taking and the other caretaking? When you understand the basic false beliefs that create this, you can heal your relationship!


  • Parents - Letting Go of Guilt
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Do you often feel guilty about your parenting? Are you blaming yourself for the problems your children have? In this article, discover the uselessness of guilt and how to move beyond it.


  • Dating - Why Are People Rejecting Me?
    [Relationships:Dating] Do you find yourself wanting a partner yet you keep running into rejection over and over again? In this article, discover a likely reason for this rejection.


  • Parenting - Emotional Incest
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Emotional incest occurs when parents try to fill their inner emptiness by overly connecting with their child. Parents need to learn how to take responsibility for their own feelings so that their children do not feel this "yucky" pull.


  • Parenting Adolescents When You Have Changed the Rules
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Are you struggling with knowing how to set limits for your adolescent children? Are they resistant to doing what you want them to do? In this article, discover how to change all of this!


  • What Causes Embarrassment?
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] I was conducting a weekend Inner Bonding workshop. Amanda, one of the participants, was working with me in front of the rest of the group. As we touched on a painful issue, she started to cry, and immediately said "I'm so embarrassed that I'm crying."


  • A Major Cause of Relationship Problems
    [Relationships:Conflict] Are you in an unhappy relationship? Do you believe that your unhappiness is caused by your partner? Discover how you might be causing your own unhappiness and what you can do about it.


  • Non-Reactivity - A Major Key to Relationship Health
    [Relationships:Conflict] Do find yourself reacting to your partner's controlling behavior with your own controlling behavior? Do you find that your minor conflicts often escalate into major conflicts? Discover a simple way to change all this!


  • Marriage - Self-Care and Remembering the Good Stuff
    [Relationships:Marriage] Do you often find yourself irritated with your partner, forgetting why you love him or her? Discover the possible underlying cause of your irritation and what you can do to move back into feeling in love.


  • Intimacy With Yourself
    [Self-Improvement:Positive-Attitude] Do you feel empty and alone inside? Are you seeking a partner to fill this, or are you considering leaving your marriage to hopefully feel intimate with someone else? First, learn how to become intimate with yourself.


  • He's Trying to Control Me
    [Relationships:Conflict] Do you dread it when your partner says, "We need to talk."? Do you find yourself tense and resistant, or feeling that you have to do what your partner says? Discover how you can have helpful talks rather than conflicted talks.


  • Everyday Creativity
    [Self-Improvement:Creativity] Do you believe that you are not creative? This is not true! Discover how you can find joy and inner fulfillment through everyday creativity.


  • The Challenge of Good Nutrition
    [Health-and-Fitness:Nutrition] Book after book regarding health and healthy eating only seems to be adding to the confusion. Learn what you can do to determine what kind of nutrition is best for you.


  • Is the Law of Attraction Bringing You What You Want?
    [Self-Improvement:Attraction] Have you been trying to follow the law of attraction, yet are not seeing the results you want? Learn the real secret to manifesting your dreams!


  • What Should My Child Be Eating For Optimal Health?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Most parents want their children to be healthy, yet have no idea what kind of nutrition creates optimal health. This article can put you on the right track in understanding how to support your children's health.


  • Self-Help - Healing Your Broken Heart
    [Self-Improvement:Grief-Loss] Do you feel broken-hearted yet another time due to the break-up of a relationship, or due to your partner not giving you what you want? Discover that this may not be the actual cause of your heartbreak!


  • 7 Step Guide to Never Having Sex in Your Marriage
    [Relationships:Sexuality] Do you want to make sure you get to be angry and complain about no sex? By following my 7-step guide, you can make certain that you will be able to continue to be angry and complain!


  • Following a Child's Lead
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Are you confused regarding how to best raise your child? Learning to follow your child's lead and your own intuition can lead you out of this confusion.


  • Self Improvement - Leisure Time, Retirement Time
    [Self-Improvement] Are you facing leisure time or retirement and not sure how to spend your time in ways that are enjoyable and fulfilling? This article will help you to focus on what you really want to do!


  • When Not to Start a Relationship
    [Relationships:Dating] I have often been asked by my clients, "Am I ready for a new relationship?" Discover whether or not you are ready in this article.


  • Responsibility Vs Fault
    [Self-Improvement] Believing that something is your fault fosters another false belief: that you control others and outcomes. Learn how this keeps you stuck being a victim. Discover the difference between fault and responsibility.


  • What Does it Mean to Have Integrity?
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Are you living in integrity with your own soul, or are you operating from "bad faith"? Do you think that you can go against yourself and still find joy? Discover how this is not true.


  • Forgiveness - Acceptance and Letting Go
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Are you keeping yourself miserable by holding on to blame and resentment? Are you confused between the difference between condoning and forgiveness?


  • The Incredible Power of Intent
    [Self-Improvement] The joy that you seek is the result of choosing the intent to learn rather than the intent to control. Learn how to consciously begin choosing the intent to learn about loving yourself.


  • What Does Your Child Really Need From You?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Confused regarding being a good parent? This article will help you to understand some of what your children really need from you.


  • 7-Step Foolproof Guide to Creating a Terrible Relationship
    [Relationships] Why randomly create a terrible relationship? By following my 7-step foolproof guide, you can make sure you do it every time!


  • Marriage Help - If You Are Thinking of Getting a Divorce, Think Again!
    [Relationships:Marriage] Before leaving your marriage, why not learn to heal your end of your dysfunctional relationship system and see what happens? You might be surprised at how your relationship changes if you learn how to take 100% responsibility for your own feelings.


  • 8-Step Guide to Messing Up Your Kids
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] We all know that most parents REALLY want to be good parents. But since it is rare for parents to take parenting classes before becoming parents, we inadvertently do lots of things to mess up our kids. This tongue-in-cheek article may help you to see what you are doing!


  • Saving Your Marriage When You Have Children
    [Relationships:Marriage] If you have children and are thinking of getting a divorce, this article if for you. Discover what you can do to save your marriage and your family.


  • Love and Marriage - Do They Really Go Together?
    [Relationships:Marriage] Has the love that was once there gone out of your marriage? Discover why and what you can begin to do to regain the love you had at the beginning of your relationship.


  • Relationship Advice - Be Willing to Have Your Partner Be Upset With You
    [Relationships:Conflict] Do you give yourself up and care-take your partner to avoid conflict? Discover how this might be the cause of your unhappiness and may be leading to a failed relationship.


  • Why Do So Many People Lack Integrity?
    [Self-Improvement:Inspirational] A lack of integrity is rampant in our society. This article begins to explain the deeper causes of this lack of integrity.


  • Marriage Advice - Love and Fairness
    [Relationships:Marriage] Do you and your spouse fight over fairness? Do you feel "unfaired" upon? Discover a way out of this!


  • Fear of Death
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] Does the idea of dying strike fear in your heart? You don't have to live your whole life with this fear.


  • 7 Step Guide to Staying Completely Stuck in Your Life
    [Self-Improvement:Motivation] Does being stuck in your life give you a secret satisfaction? Discover the secrets to consciously staying stuck!


  • 7 Step Guide to Creating a Life of Substance Abuse
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Don't read this article if you want to continue to believe that you are a victim of your substance addictions! While it is probable that no one consciously sets out to create a life of substance abuse, those who end up addicted to substances are choosing certain thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that will likely end up leading to some form of substance abuse - drugs, alcohol, nicotine, food, junk food, sugar, and/or caffeine.


  • Are You Enmeshed With Your Children?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Are you limiting yourself and your children by being over-involved with them? Discover if you are enmeshed with your children.


  • Diffusing Anger Or Feeding the Flames
    [Self-Improvement:Anger-Management] Do your minor conflicts often erupt into major fights? Discover how to diffuse anger in relationship conflicts.


  • Problems Sleeping?
    [Health-and-Fitness:Sleep-Snoring] Trouble sleeping? This article offers two possibilities of what may be causing your sleep problems and what to do about it.


  • 7 Step "Tongue-in-Cheek" Guide to Never Having an Experience of God
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] Are you righteously devoted to being an atheist or an agnostic, or to making sure that you never have a "spiritual" experience? By following these 7 guidelines, you can ensure your position!


  • Is Your Marriage Suffering From Emotional Infidelity?
    [Relationships:Marriage] Are you or your partner having an emotional affair or are each of you vulnerable to emotional infidelity? Discover what creates this vulnerability and what you can do about it.


  • The Wanting Mind - Part 1
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Do you believe that getting what you want is what will make you happy? Discover how this false belief keeps you stuck in suffering, and what really brings happiness, self worth, and inner peace.


  • Gratitude Vs Complaining
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Who do you choose to be most of the time - someone who is grateful a lot or someone who complains a lot? Which one you choose determines how happy or unhappy you feel.


  • Emotional Intimacy
    [Relationships:Enhancement] Do you have emotional intimacy in your life? Discover what it is, and what it is not.


  • You're Not Meeting My Needs
    [Relationships:Communication] Do you believe that it is your responsibility to meet your partner's needs rather than take responsibility for meeting your own needs? This could be creating big problems in your relationship!


  • How Can I Stop Feeling Jealous?
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Are you jealous and fearful that your partner will find someone he or she finds more attractive, more lovable, more worthy than you? You can heal jealousy!


  • Parenting, Education and Children - Fostering Openness to Learning in Children
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] What makes one child excited and another fearful about trying new experiences? What makes one child put forth extensive effort toward something and another give up easily in discouragement? What makes one child intensely curious and another closed down to new learning?


  • Health and Nutrition - Feeling the Effects of Food
    [Health-and-Fitness:Nutrition] Are health and nutrition not even blips on your screen? Are you oblivious of the physical and emotional effects of food in your body? Are you convincing yourself that the junk food or processed food you eat is not doing harm?


  • Why Do You Blame?
    [Relationships:Communication] Do you find yourself blaming others for your feelings? Discover how you are actually causing your own feelings of anger or hurt and what you can do differently.


  • Parenting - What Praise Helps and What Praise Harms?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] This is powerful research for parents and educators. As I look back on kids I grew up with and went to school with, I can see this in action. Often, the kids who were told how smart or talented they were, or how much natural ability they had in a given area, such as sports or math, were the kids who never lived up to their potential. Those kids who were not given a "potential" to live up to were often the ones who did really well.


  • Moving Beyond Negative Emotions
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Do you feel like a victim - believing that others or circumstances are causing your negative emotions? Are you ready to let go of being a victim and move into personal power?


  • Verbal Abuse, Emotional Abuse - Overt and Covert
    [Relationships:Conflict] Our society is filled with verbal and emotional abuse, from radio and TV commentators and presidential candidates, to parents, educators, employers and managers. As Patricia Evans states in "The Verbally Abusive Relationship", the old adage, "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me," is not at all true. Just as physical abuse is wounding the to body, verbal abuse is deeply wounding to the soul.


  • Connecting With Loved Ones
    [Relationships:Enhancement] Are you yearning to have a deep and connected relationship with a loved one? Is this connection eluding you? Discover what you need to do to have this connection with a partner or other loved ones.


  • 7 Rules For Saving Your Marriage
    [Relationships:Marriage] If your marriage is in trouble, the chances are that you and your partner are stuck in trying to control rather than learn. Changing your intent can heal your marriage.


  • Relationships - Empathy Vs Responsibility For Feelings
    [Relationships:Enhancement] Are you stuck in a relationship system where one of you is often angry and the other is often withdrawn? Discover the underlying cause of this and how to heal your relationship.


  • Caring - For Outcomes Or For Joy
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Are you willing to take an honest look at your intent when you believe that you are caring about others? If you find others resisting your caring, you might want to consider that you are giving to get.


  • Relationships - Letting Go of Problem Solving
    [Relationships:Conflict] "We never seem to be able to solve any problems," Kaylee told me in a phone session. "Every time we sit down to solve a problem, we end up fighting. It doesn't really matter what it is about - it always ends up the same.


  • Do You Feel Free?
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] How are you limiting your own freedom? What are you doing that you don't want to do, or what are you not doing that you really want to do - to get approval or avoid disapproval?


  • Relationships - The Power of Good Will
    [Relationships:Enhancement] Research into good marriages indicates that the most important choice healthy couples make is to have good will toward each other. This may seems like a simple requirement, yet many couples have anything but good will toward each other. Instead, they make it far more important to: Attempt to control each other with criticism, judgments, blame, anger, resistance, withdrawal, or compliance.


  • Energy Vampires
    [Relationships:Communication] Do you often feel drained by others and have no idea how to protect yourself from this energy drain. Learn how to protect yourself from energy vampires.


  • Are You Stuck in Your Life?
    [Self-Improvement:Motivation] Do you find yourself going around and around in your head, trying to figure things out but never taking the action you need to take? Do you believe if you read enough self-help books and take enough seminars you will find the answer?


  • Are You Sexually Addicted
    [Relationships:Sexuality] Sexual addiction is very common. In this article, you can go through a checklist to determine if you are sexually addicted or using sex addictively.


  • Love Addiction, Approval Addiction
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Are you love or approval addicted? Most people are. The following checklist will help you to determine your level of love or approval addiction.


  • Is God Your Friend?
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] In your belief system, is God judgmental, controlling and punishing? Or, is the Source of all that is your deep experience of love, wisdom and comfort? Learn to open to God as your friend, rather than a projection of your parents.


  • Being a Happy Parent – Part of Good Parenting
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Do your children see you as happy and peaceful, or do they see you as angry, depressed, or overburdened? Learn how important it is to good parenting for you to learn to take emotional responsibility for your own feelings.


  • The Power of Kindness in Relationships
    [Relationships] Which is more important to you in your relationships – to be kind or to control? This is the most vital choice you can make regarding the kind of relationship you create.


  • The Fear of Being Alone
    [Self-Improvement] Is the fear of being alone keeping you in an unloving or abusive relationship? Learn how to heal your fear of being alone.


  • 10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
    [Relationships] Is your relationship healthy? Take a few minutes to read through this article and see how your relationship is doing.


  • Giving Love, Getting Love, Giving to Get
    [Relationships] Do you feel empty and unfulfilled? Are you using people, substances, things and activities as your source of love? Discover how to access the true Source of abundant and infinite love.


  • Getting Into the Holiday Spirit
    [Home-and-Family:Holidays] Who is going to be in charge of your thoughts and behavior this holiday season – your judgmental self or your loving self? Learn how to make this holiday season a wonderful time of love and gratitude.


  • 5 Actions For Successful Relationships
    [Relationships] Discover the 5 loving actions that people in successful relationships are taking. Loving relationships are the result of choices - they don't just happen.


  • Have You Abandoned Yourself?
    [Self-Improvement] Do you often feel alone and empty inside? Do you want love but find yourself resisting others who want to love you? In this article, discover how you might be abandoning yourself.


  • Relationships: Control or Kindness
    [Relationships] If your primary focus in your relationship is to control your partner, then you are having relationship problems. Learn how to move from control to kindness with yourself and your partner.


  • Healing from Childhood Abuse
    [Self-Improvement] You CAN fully heal from childhood abuse. Discover the powerful Inner Bonding process that enables you to remember and heal from traumatic abuse.


  • I Need A Partner to be Happy
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] If you are waiting for a partner to come along to make you happy, you will probably remain stuck being unhappy. Discover the importance of making yourself happy now, and how to begin doing that, before meeting your partner.


  • The Temptation of the Critical Voice
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Do you listen to your inner critic as if it is the voice of authority? Learn about how that voice came into being and how to begin to move beyond these false beliefs and into truth.


  • What Are Your Feelings Telling You?
    [Self-Improvement] Discover the source of your feelings and what your anxiety and depression are telling you. Learn how attending to your feelings can keep you on track in your life.


  • Fight or Flight in Relationship Conflict
    [Relationships:Conflict] Conflict does not get resolved when the stress response takes over. Learn how to manage conflict in loving ways and to heal the fear that activates your fight or flight response.


  • Loving Yourself, Loving Your Children
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Are you attending to your children but ignoring yourself? Discover the importance of attending to your children’s feelings and needs while also taking care of your own feelings and needs.


  • Should I Go On Meds?
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] Learn the underlying causes of much anxiety and depression so that you can make an informed decision regarding going on meds.


  • Filling Up Externally, Filling Up Internally
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Are you addicted to substances, processes or people to fill your emptiness and take away your aloneness? Discover how to fill the empty and alone place within internally instead of externally.


  • Are You Raising Bratty Kids?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Are your children hitting and having temper tantrums when they don’t get their way? Are they unable to manage their frustrations in respectful ways? Learn about what you might be doing to create this and what to do about it.


  • Overweight Kids
    [Kids-and-Teens] Is your child overweight or struggles with weight issues and addictive eating? Discover an underlying cause of weight issues and what you, the parent, can do about it.


  • 5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them
    [Relationships] Don't let your relationship fail. Learn about 5 relationship killers and begin to heal the underlying fears that cause these relationship killers.


  • Making Marriage Work, Part 5
    [Relationships] In this final section of a five-part series on making marriage work, Joan discovers that taking loving action on her own behalf, instead of waiting for Justin to make her happy,creates the closeness and intimacy with Justin that she desires.


  • Making Marriage Work, Part 4
    [Relationships:Marriage] This is Part 4 of a 5-part series on making marriage work. This article gives an example of what it looks like to learn about your relationship issues with a personal source of spiritual guidance.


  • Making Marriage Work, Part 3
    [Relationships] Do you feel like a victim in your relationship? Discover how shifting your intention from blaming your partner to learning about yourself can start you on the road to healing your relationship.


  • Making Marriage Work, Part 2
    [Relationships:Marriage] Is your marriage is in trouble or do you want more intimacy than you currently have? Are you interested in discovering to root causes of relationship problems and how to heal them? Then read on!


  • Relationships: Taking Care of Yourself in the Moment
    [Relationships] Maria consulted with me because she was frustrated about the distance she felt in her relationship with her husband, Carl. He wanted to be close to her, but she didn’t feel close to him. "I think th...


  • Loving Your Spouse When Your Spouse is Not Loving You
    [Relationships:Wedding] Marlo and Jack have been married for twelve years and have two young children. Marlo and Jack each state that they love each other, yet Marlo does not feel loved by Jack, while Jack states that he is...


  • Relationship Deal-breakers
    [Relationships] In the 37 years that I have been counseling couples, I have discovered that there are only a few issues that are true relationship deal-breakers. Many of the issues that tear relationships apart are ...


  • The Challenge of Families
    [Home-and-Family] Angie grew up in a family where she was the caretaker. The oldest of four, Angie was the only member of her family capable of deep caring, empathy and compassion. As a result, she was always attempti...


  • Codependent Relationships: Takers and Caretakers
    [Relationships] Takers and caretakers - they often seem to find each other! As a counselor who has worked with relationships for 37 years, I can tell you that this is the most frequent relationship dynamic that I en...


  • Making Marriage Work, Part 1
    [Relationships] Is your marriage in trouble? Have you lost the passion that you once had? Do you believe that if only your partner would change everything would be fine? In this series, discover a powerful process for making your marriage work.


  • The Mirror of Relationships
    [Relationships] Relationships are fertile ground for learning about our selves. Discover what you can learn about yourself when you are judged or rejected by another.


  • Toxic Guilt, Healthy Guilt
    [Self-Improvement] Are you plagued with guilt? There is a big difference between healthy guilt and toxic guilt. In this article, learn what creates toxic guilt and how to heal it.


  • Happiness Takes Work: 5 Choices to Create Happiness
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Happiness does not just happen – it takes work! Learn about the 5 choices that happy people consciously and consistently make in their thinking and behavior that create their happiness.


  • Recovery From Addictions, Part 5
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] In this final part of a 5-part series on recovery from addictions, I address the way out of addictions. Learn the powerful 6-Step Inner Bonding process that, when practiced, will heal addictions.


  • Recovery From Addictions, Part 4
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] The major false belief that causes the most pain for many people is the belief that you can control how important people in your life feel about you and treat you. The behavior and resulting pain coming from this belief is often the underlying cause of addictive behavior.


  • Recovery From Addictions, Part 3
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] People turn to addictions is to avoid the pain of loneliness and fill the empty place inside that really wants to be filled with love. Learn about the beliefs that keep you from accessing the love that will heal addictive behavior.


  • Recovery From Addictions, Part 2
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] The avoidance of pain is the underlying intention of addiction. This article addresses the false belief that you can't manage your pain and goes into the process of learning to manage your pain without turning to addictive behavior.


  • Recovery From Addictions: Part 1
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] This is the first of a 5-part series on recovery from addictions. This first part defines substance and process addictions and describes the four major false beliefs that underlie most addictions.


  • Fear of Commitment
    [Relationships:Commitment] Do you want to be in a relationship but have a fear of commitment? Do you keep picking the wrong people? Discover the underlying cause of a fear of commitment and what to do about it.


  • Self Esteem: You Are Not Who You Think You Are
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Do you sometimes believe that you are not good enough? Are you judging your worth on your looks and performance? In this article, discover how to see and know your true, intrinsic worth.


  • Beyond Fear and Addiction: Six Steps to Healing
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Choosing addictive behavior is an abandonment of self, an unloving way of dealing with painful feelings. This self-abandonment is a major cause fear, anxiety, and depression. In this article, discover the six steps to moving beyond fear and addiction.


  • Stress and Illness
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] Too often, when we have physical problems, we seek a purely physical answer. Yet recent research indicates that stress is the underlying cause of 90% of illness. Learn more about how stress may be causing health issues for you.


  • Fears of a New Relationship
    [Relationships] Have your past relationships left you relationship-phobic due to fears of losing yourself or getting rejected? Have you been single for a while and find yourself afraid to start a new relationship? Discover how to take loving care of yourself in a new relationship.


  • Five Secrets to Weight Loss
    [Health-and-Fitness:Weight-Loss] After struggling with my weight for years, I discovered 5 secrets to weight loss that have worked for me for many years. I hope they work for you!


  • What Creates Self-Esteem?
    [Self-Improvement:Positive-Attitude] Do you have high self-esteem? Do you want to have high self-esteem? Find out how in this article! It is not as hard as you think to feel really good about yourself, but most people go about it the wrong way.


  • Relationships: Conflict Resolution Without Words
    [Relationships:Conflict] Have you discovered that trying to "work out problems" often doesn't work? There is another way to resolve conflict that may work far better than talking about it!


  • Less Talk, More Action!
    [Self-Improvement] Have you spent a lot of time talking about your problems but nothing has really changed in your life? Are you stuck repeating the same issues over and over? Discover how to get unstuck and start to take loving action in your own behalf.


  • What is God? Where is God?
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] Do you want to believe in God but are struggling with your concept of God, or even with the word God? Discover how to personally experience the love, peace, wisdom, and joy that is God.


  • The Powerful Secret to A Loving Relationship
    [Relationships] A couple can have similar values, interests, and be very attracted to each other, yet still not have a loving relationship if this secret ingredient is missing. Without this essential ingredient, all the other wonderful attributes will not be enough to make the relationship work.


  • Actions of Love
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action in their own behalf. Taking loving action will change everything in your life, including your relationships.


  • Relationships: Giving to Get
    [Relationships] Are you giving love to your partner for the joy of giving, or are you giving to get love? Do you believe that your best feelings come from the getting of love or from the sharing of love?


  • What Does It Mean to 'Self Improve?'
    [Self-Improvement] Self Improvement has become mainstream. But what does it really mean to "Self Improve?" What are we really improving when we self improve? In this article, discover the difference between self improvement and healing.


  • Speaking Your Truth to Your Partner
    [Relationships] People often believe that they are withholding their truth to spare their partner pain, but their real intent is to protect themselves from the response they fear. Speaking your truth, however difficult, can open the door to renewed love.


  • "They Should Have Beat Me More" - The Cycle of Physical Abuse
    [Self-Improvement] Men recently released from prison for domestic violence share their common denominator - childhood physical abuse. Learn why hitting children is not a healthy form of discipline.


  • Overcoming Fears of Intimacy
    [Relationships] The fear of intimacy is based on the false belief of not good enough. Believing this leads to fears of rejection and engulfment, which causes the fear of intimacy. Discover how to heal these fears in this article.


  • The Purpose of Shame
    [Self-Improvement] Have you tried unsuccessfully to heal your shame? Discover how shame and control are intricately tied together, and that when you give up your attachment to control, you will find your shame disappearing.


  • Are You Addicted to Negative Thinking?
    [Self-Improvement:Positive-Attitude] Negative thinking causes much stress in the body, and may be a cause of illness. In this article, discover if you might be addicted to negative thinking and what to do about it.


  • What Really Creates Happiness?
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Paradoxically, choosing happiness as a primary goal in life often leads to unhappiness. Happiness is actually a consequence of a different life purpose. In this article, discover what really creates happiness.


  • Controlling Behavior - How Do You Attempt to Control?
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] All of us have learned many different ways to attempt to control our feelings, others' feelings and behavior, and the outcome of things. Discover the ways you try to control and how this might be causing you much distress.


  • Your Children Are On Their Own Soul's Journey
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Most parents want to think that they have more control over their children than they do. It will make it much easier to let go of trying to control our children and just be the very best parents we can, when we understand and accept that they are on their own soul's journey.


  • Toddler Skills for Personal Responsibility
    [Home-and-Family:Babies-Toddler] There are three skills that are very important for our little ones to learn early in their lives. In this article, learn what these skills are that foster personal responsibility.


  • Reaching Forgiveness
    [Self-Improvement:Positive-Attitude] Have you tried to forgive others, only to discover that you are still angry or judgemental toward them? This article offers the secret to true forgiveness.


  • Does the Fear of Rejection Control Your Life?
    [Relationships] Are your interactions with people determined by how you can avoid the pain of rejection? Are you constantly trying to control how people feel about you? Discover how to heal the fear of rejection.


  • Men, Women, and Sex
    [Relationships:Sexuality] Why are men often focused on sex and women are often focused on emotional intimacy? Discover the very good reasons for this in this article!


  • Are You Present With Your Children?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] How often are you fully and completely present when you are with your children? One of the greatest gifts we can give to our children is to be fully present with them. This can often be a big challenge.


  • What You Say, What They Hear
    [Relationships] Communication between partners often gets confusing, and there is a very good reason for this. Most of the time, the words we use have far less impact than the energy behind the words. Therefore, what you say is often not what the other person hears.


  • Sexual Attraction - Addiction or Intimacy?
    [Relationships:Sexuality] When you first meet someone whom you are sexually attracted to, what does this mean? Does it mean that this is the right relationship for you? Probably not!


  • Are You a Trash Can for Others' Negativity?
    [Self-Improvement] If you look within, you will discover how lonely you feel when you allow others to dump their negativity - their complaints, their anger, their self- centeredness and sense of entitlement onto you.


  • Do You Want Your Children to Be Like You?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] We are the role models regarding how our children learn to treat themselves and others. We are the role models regarding whether or not our children learn to take personal responsibility for themselves - physically, emotionally, financially, relationally, spiritually, and organizationally.


  • To End or Not to End Your Relationship
    [Relationships] Doing your inner work and healing your end of your relationship system is essential if you are not going to repeat the same problems in another relationship. In this article, discover what to do before deciding to leave your relationship.


  • Self-Judgment Versus Self-Compassion
    [Self-Improvement] The most common underlying cause of anxiety, depression, addictive behavior and relationship problems is self-judgment. The antidote is self-compassion. In this article, learn how to move beyond self-judgment and into self-compassion.


  • Sustaining Romance After Becoming Parents
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] A major challenge for parents, especially new parents, is finding the time to be together in ways that foster romance in their relationship. This article explores the importance of the quality of time versus the quantity of time in "we-time".


  • How Do You Know When You Are In Love?
    [Relationships:Love] How do you know when you are in love? The answer to this question depends upon which part of you feels in love and which part of the other person you are in love with. In this article, discover how to know when you are really in love.


  • What Really Creates Health and Wellbeing?
    [Health-and-Fitness] Most of us know that eating well and exercising is important for good health. Yet often we hear about people 100 years old and older that are still vital and have not eaten perfectly or exercised much. What is the secret of their good health?


  • I'm So In Love, So Why Am I Depressed?
    [Relationships] Have you finally met the love of your life, only to find yourself depressed? There is a very good reason for this! In this article, discover what you may be doing that is causing your depression and what to do about it.


  • Parents, Kids and Time Alone
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] What are some of the ways in which you explain to kids that mom and dad need time alone, without feeling guilty about it? This article answers this question and describes the importance of time alone.


  • Bonding With Your Partner - Without Candles, Wine or Lingerie!
    [Relationships] Many partners attempt to bond with candles, wine or lingerie, only to find their time together feeling flat, empty and passionless. In this article, discover what really creates bonding, intimacy and passion with your partner.


  • Kid Time and Couple Time
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Are you having trouble finding time to be with your children and to be with each other? Discover how important this balance is, and what may be the underlying issue in the way of couple time.


  • Who Are The Underminers?
    [Self-Improvement:Inspirational] How many of you had the experience growing up of being told in various ways to limit yourselves from being all you can be? The movie “The Incredibles” is a wonderful metaphor for this. In this movie,...


  • Healing Food Addiction
    [Health-and-Fitness:Weight-Loss] Hannah was distressed that, with all the inner work she had done on herself, she still found herself binge eating. “There are times when I just can’t stop eating. I feel awful after, but at the time...


  • Healing Anger and Violence in Our Society
    [News-and-Society] I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. All this experience has resulted in the development of a profound six-s...


  • Fight, Flight, or Loving Action
    [Relationships] Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano…. Figh...


  • How Can I Get My Partner To Change?
    [Relationships] How much energy do you spend trying to get what you want from your partner? Think about it for a moment - how much of your thinking time is spent on what to say to your partner to get him or her to b...


  • Should I Give Up Me To Not Lose You?
    [Relationships] How far can you afford to bend your values to preserve your relationship? How far can you go in giving yourself up to avoid losing your partner? How much of yourself can you afford to sacrifice to no...


  • Healing The Abandonment Wounds
    [Self-Improvement:Inspirational] I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. Every individual I’ve worked with has had some abandonment wound to hea...


  • Family Ties - When to Let Go
    [Home-and-Family] Ruth consulted with me because she was confused about what to do regarding her mother, her brother, and her son. From the time Ruth was born, she never felt like she belonged in her family. Her mot...


  • Performance Anxiety
    [Self-Improvement] Beverly had suffered from anxiety most of her life. As a child, she slept poorly and often had nightmares. She bit her nails and would chew on the skin around her nails until they were raw and bleedi...


  • Compassion - A Powerful Doorway to Personal Growth
    [Self-Improvement:Personal-Growth] The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publica...


  • Are You Addicted to Your Children?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Is it possible to be using our children addictively? Anything that we use to get love, avoid pain, and fill up inner emptiness can become an addiction – even our children! If your children are your w...


  • Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting, or Loving Parenting
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Angie was brought up by rigid, authoritarian parents who kept her on a tight leash. They rarely considered her feelings about anything, showing a complete lack of empathy and compassion for her feeli...


  • Caretaking Parents, Entitled Kids
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Demanding children – children who have entitlement issues – seem to be common these days. Like the obnoxious child, Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, who was constantly demanding ...


  • The Challenges of Single Parenting
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and written books on parenting and relationships, I’ve discovered that one of the greatest challenges for us as parents is to be loving role-models fo...


  • Start Growing Healthy Children Before Getting Pregnant
    [Home-and-Family:Pregnancy] When I was in my early 20’s, I read Adele Davis’s book, “Let’s Eat Right To Keep fit.” I learned from her that “you are what you eat.” I also learned that our babies are what we eat while we are preg...


  • The Courage to Be a Loving Parent
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Most of us really don’t like it when someone is angry at us. We don’t like it when people go into resistance to helping us when we need help, instead of caring about us. We don’t like it when people ...


  • Two Choices That can Make Next Year The Best Year of Your Life
    [Self-Improvement:Inspirational] What if there were just two choices you could make to insure that next year would be wonderful? There actually are, and these choices are quite simple in concept, yet not easy to do. They are not ...


  • Happiness Versus Pleasure
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend our energy seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. We hope that by doing this, we will feel happy. Yet deep, abiding happiness and joy elude so many pe...


  • Accessing Your Spiritual Guidance
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] For the last 35 years, I have been working with individuals, couples and families, as well as business relationships. I have 8 published books on relationships and healing, some of them best-sellers....


  • Ending Relationships Gracefully
    [Relationships] In my counseling practice, I often hear the question, “How do I end a relationship without hurting someone’s feelings?” Whether it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship, ending it gracefully is g...


  • Are You Addicted To Your Activities?
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV, meditation - can be a wonderful way to relax, express yourself, or connect to yourself. Or they can be an addiction. How can you kno...


  • The Secret of Self-Esteem
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] Have you ever thought about what really creates self-esteem? Having a deep sense of inner worth is important to all of us, but many people have some false beliefs about what creates confidence in our...


  • Addiction to Blame
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn’t stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations. He blame...


  • Addiction to Thinking
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Randall sought my help because he was stuck being miserable and had no idea how to get out of his misery. In his life he had experienced moments of great joy and sense of oneness with all of life, bu...


  • Addiction to Worry
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of our work toge...


  • What About Drugs for Anxiety and Depression?
    [Health-and-Fitness:Depression] As a counselor, I am often asked, “Can drugs be helpful for anxiety and depression?” The answer I give is “Yes” and “No.” Yes, drugs may be useful for short-term help. No, drugs are not a good long-...


  • Alone for the Holidays?
    [Home-and-Family:Holidays] Being alone is a challenge for many people. This challenge may loom especially large during the holidays if you are single or newly divorced and without family around you. Holidays are a time to shar...


  • Anger: To Control or To Learn
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] Many of us will do anything to avoid another’s anger, yet may be quick to anger ourselves. Many of us dread another’s anger yet continue to use our own anger as a way to control others. Let’s take a ...


  • Personal Power
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] All of us would love to have personal power – the power to manifest our dreams, the power to remain calm and loving in the face of fear, the power to stay centered in ourselves in the face of attack....


  • The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, helping them learn to resolve conflict, I have often been faced with the difficulties that occur when people are ...


  • Are You Addicted to Anger?
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] Michael was raised in a home where anger was used to control. His parents used their anger to attempt to control each other as well as their children. Sometimes the anger erupted into violence and Mi...


  • Are You Invisible?
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] Ellen was brought up to be invisible. She was taught to be very tuned into others’ feelings and needs, but to never have any of her own. Her family made it clear to her that her job was to give to th...


  • Fear of Intimacy
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another, of being deeply ...


  • Beauty, Gratitude, and the Open Heart
    [Self-Improvement:Inspirational] “…beauty on your earth is a shadow of the beauty of our heaven, and it’s a bitter thing to have a blindness for beauty on earth, for it makes a longer teaching to see the beauties of heaven.” Spoken ...


  • Being an Emotional Victim
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] None of us like to think of ourselves as victims. The term "victim" brings to mind a pathetic image of a person who is powerless. Therefore, It comes as a shock to most of us to realize how often we ...


  • The Need to Feel Special
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] From the time Jennifer was a little child, she was demanding of attention, especially from her mother, Sarah. With two older brothers, Jennifer had a “special” place in the family as the baby and the...


  • What to Do When You Are Alone for the Holidays
    [Home-and-Family:Holidays] Being alone for the holidays is a major challenge for many people. Holidays often conjure images of family, of warmth and the sharing of special time. Loneliness can be overwhelming when you have no ...


  • Controlling Behavior, Loving Behavior
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] When Zack and Tiffany started counseling with me, they were on the verge of divorce after 16 years of marriage. Neither really wanted to end the marriage, yet both were miserable. Both of them believ...


  • Control, Helplessness, and Love
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] During my 35 years of counseling individuals, couples, families and business partners, I have discovered that an important purpose of our controlling behavior in our relationships is to avoid the fee...


  • Are You Controlling or Loving Yourself?
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] How often do you hear a parental voice in your head that says things like, “You’ve got to lose weight,” or “You should get up earlier every morning and exercise,” or “Today I should get caught up on ...


  • Discerning The Loving Heart
    [Relationships] How often have you had the experience of connecting with someone – a friend or a potential partner – who turns out to be an uncaring person? At first you think this is a really good person, and then ...


  • Discovering Your Passion and Purpose
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] “I can’t seem to discover why I’m on the planet.” “What is my purpose here? I know there’s something I’m supposed to be doing, but I don’t know how to find out what it is.” “I don’t seem to be passio...


  • Addiction to Clutter
    [Self-Improvement:Addictions] Clutter is a big problem for many people. At a lecture that I gave, I asked for a show of hands regarding how many people had problems with clutter and disorganization. I was surprised to find that a...


  • Do You Experience God?
    [Self-Improvement:Spirituality] Connor, a man in his late 40’s, has achieved everything he ever thought he needed to feel happy and secure. He owns a successful business, has a wonderful wife and two children, and a beautiful home....


  • Emotional Dependency or Emotional Responsibility
    [Self-Improvement:Coaching] Emotional dependency means getting one’s good feelings from outside oneself. It means needing to get filled from outside rather than from within. Who or what do you believe is responsible for your em...


  • Empty Nest Syndrome
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Paula’s last child had just gone off to college and Paula was struggling with a deep inner emptiness. While she knew this day was coming, she was not really prepared for the intense hollowness that w...


  • What Causes Holiday Stress?
    [Home-and-Family:Holidays] The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration when friends and families get together to share food, fun, gifts, and love. They are supposed to be a time of giving, caring and connection when ...


  • The Underlying Cause of Nervous Breakdowns
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] Life can offer us many challenges having to do with loss. When we are faced with relationship loss, financial loss, loss of health, loss of limb, loss of regard, or loss of love, we can feel overwhel...


  • Rediscovering Love and Intimacy
    [Relationships] Wendy started counseling with me because Terence, her husband of 14 years, had just expressed to her that he wanted to end their relationship. Wendy, terrified of being alone, was panicked. Within a ...


  • Trust Starts with You
    [Relationships] “I have a hard time trusting people.” “I never feel like I can trust my husband (or wife).” It is very common for me, in my work as a counselor, to hear the above statements. Trust issues abound in r...


  • The Five Best Gifts to Give Your Family
    [Home-and-Family] When we think of giving gifts, we usually think of things to buy for people. Yet if you think back on gifts you’ve been given, it might not be the material gifts you received that are foremost in you...


  • 7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship
    [Relationships] Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true...


  • Anniversary Blues
    [Relationships:Anniversaries] Jamie and Kurt are a sweet, successful couple in their early thirties. In spite of loving each other deeply, they often find themselves in conflict over seemingly minor issues, as most couples do. Re...


  • Can This Relationship Be Helped?
    [Relationships] I have been counseling couples for 35 years. Quite often individuals come in for help wondering if it is really possible to save or improve their relationship. Perhaps their partner is totally uninte...

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