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Katie Lersch - EzineArticles.com Expert Author
Katie Lersch enjoys helping other women save their marriages or heal from the pain of an affair.
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Katie Lersch Email Alerts
- Dealing With Family When Staying After Your Spouse Had an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I sometimes hear from people who are having issues when they are trying to recover and move on after their spouse had an affair. Needless to say, there are many pieces to pick up and things that must be dealt with. But, some of the people who I hear from say that their main issue is not their spouse, or their marriage.
- How Can He Love Me and Cheat? Insights and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I hear a lot from wives and girlfriends who are quite confused. They have recently caught their boyfriends and husbands cheating. And yet, the men are insisting that things can be worked out, that nothing really has to change, and that they still love their wives every bit as much as they always have. The women often ask me how in the world this contradiction can possibly be true.
- Things You Should Do to Help Your Spouse Get Over Your Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I'm often asked for advice on how to help your spouse to get over the pain and shock of the betrayal that you have caused them by having an affair. Because my own husband had an affair, I can share what helped me. However, I sometimes hesitate to do so because I don't want to give anyone information that is going to enable someone to get away with something that they aren't truly remorseful for or are likely to repeat again.
- How to Let a Woman Know That You Know She Had an Affair With Your Husband
[Relationships:Affairs] It's understandable that you would want to confront the woman that your husband cheated with. You likely want for her to know that this deception is over and that you know everything. She needs to know that she will no longer have free reign with your husband. You likely also have the need to put your presence and your existence into her consciousness. You want for her to know that you are a real person with a real life and a real family that she has very negatively and selfishly affected. It's also likely that you know who she is....
- If My Husband Cheated and I Forgave Him and Took Him Back, Does He Get Off Scott - Free?
[Relationships:Affairs] I get this question quite a bit. Many women who have been cheated on want to preserve the marriage for the sakes of their families and because they still love their husbands, but they can't help feeling resentment about having to be the one who is doing all of the forgiving and making all of the concessions. I'm often asked things like: "why does he get to make this huge mistake and then be caught and only then change? It's like he's getting a complete freebie or that he's getting off scott-free.
- How to Say You're Sorry After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] Think about it for a second. Do you ever hear anyone recount an affair with phrases like: "I made a conscious decision to cheat on someone that I love and now that it's out in the open, I'm not at all sorry. I will be totally responsible for the consequences from beginning to end because I thought long and hard about this decision. " No, these statements would be incredibly unusual. Instead, you will typically hear things like: "I'm so very sorry. I can't believe that I was so unbelievably stupid. I do not know what, or if, I was thinking. How could I do this to my spouse?" The problem, of course, is that the person who cheated usually have a great deal of difficulty in putting these feelings, reassurances, and information into words that their spouse will actually listen and respond to. Often, by the time this whole thing blows up and is out in the open, the emotions and the damage control take over and no one is really speaking from their heart anymore.
- Want to Know Every Detail About Your Husband's Affair? - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] This is not at all an uncommon phrase. Who can blame you for wanting to know exactly how, and why, you were betrayed? It's completely understandable to want to know things like: who this woman is; her age, where she works; what she looks like; the things she did with your husband; what it would take to hurt her in the way that you've been hurt; and how she would respond if you confronted her. Notice that the concerns about the other woman are the things that I listed first. There is a reason for this. We wives who have been betrayed tend to obsess about her. We just cannot help it at first.
- How to Help Yourself After You Had an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I sometimes get emails from extremely remorseful spouses who had an affair and now deeply and completely regret it. I'm often asked what they can begin to do to help to clean up this mess. They will often ask things like "how can I help my spouse to see that I won't do this again?;" or "how can I help my spouse to see that I'm really sorry and that I will make this up to her?;" or "how can I even look at myself in the mirror anymore? I'm not sure how to move forward because I'm so disgusted with myself...
- How to Cope When Your Husband Cheats
[Relationships:Affairs] Having a husband who cheats is one of the things that almost all women fear. We all know couples who have had their marriages ruined by cheating. We all know wives who were never really the same after they were cheated on. This is many of our "worst case scenarios" -- the thing that we've seen happen to many of our friends, but have silently prayed never happens to us.
- My Husband Had an Affair and I Don't Think I Can Ever Get Over It - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] Almost on a daily basis, I get emails from wives who tell me that they feel pretty sure that they will "never, ever" get over the fact that their husband cheated and had an affair. They may well still love their husbands. They may be 100 percent committed to keeping their family together and staying in the marriage. But, they have resigned themselves to a life that is not everything that it can be, and to a marriage that is sort of just limping along and going through the motions because the wife can not let herself trust or go "all in" again.
- How Do I Ever Feel Desirable Again When My Husband Cheated and Had an Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] Other than restoring the trust, one of the biggest concerns that I hear from people who are trying to recover from their spouse's affair is their inability to feel desirable in their spouse's eyes. They often see the affair or the cheating as a huge rejection and they can not help but personalize this.
- How Can I Save My Marriage When My Husband Says He is in Love With Her Too?
[Relationships:Affairs] It's often not easy to decide that you want to save your marriage following an affair. There is usually a lot of back and forth thoughts and doubt before you finally decide that you're going to allow yourself to be vulnerable in an attempt to save this marriage. This process is hard enough when you have a remorseful spouse who is promising you that he's going to make this up to you and be the spouse that you deserve from here on out...
- Caring For Yourself After a Spouse's Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I know first hand that the days and weeks following the discovery of a spouse's affair is truly a process of grief, although many of us do not realize it at the time. We have to confront the loss of our marriage as we perceived it previously. We are faced with the realization that our ability to judge and perceive and trust have suddenly been shattered. There are many losses in an affair and all of these things can feel like death or profound loss. Grieving is a natural response to this.
- Staying After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails that ask me how on earth I could take my husband back or stay in the marriage after an affair. Sometimes, these emails come from women who think I'm somewhat crazy and that they could never forgive in this way. And other times, the emails come from wives going through a similar experience who would very much eventually want to embrace moving on, healing, and forgiving, but they just can't seem to do it. They can not seem to move past their anger, distrust, and resentment and I completely understand this.
- I Cheated on My Husband But Now I Want Him Back - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I recently received a somewhat heartbreaking email from a wife who told me that her marriage was over and it was all her fault. She had cheated on her husband, very briefly, with her boss. She said that she really did not know what she was thinking at the time. She had always been relatively happy in her marriage but she never really thought that her actions were going to come back to haunt her. She honestly believed that it would not change things in her marriage as she felt sure that her husband would not find out...
- How to Win Back Your Boyfriend After Cheating
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received a very heart felt email from a woman who did not know what else to do to save her 3 year relationship. She and her boyfriend had been very happy and things were going well until one night the woman had too much to drink and had a one night fling with an ex boyfriend who was back in town for only a short period of time.
- What Happens After an Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received an email from a wife who was reeling after learning of her husband's affair. She had many questions for me, but the ones that she kept repeating were: "What happens now? What happens to marriages after an affair? Because I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing or where I'm supposed to be going from here."
- When Your Spouse Has an Emotional Affair and Doesn't Seem to Be Sorry, What Do You Do?
[Relationships:Affairs] Last night, I received an email from a woman who told me that her husband had an "emotional affair" with a coworker but he continued to downplay this, as though it weren't really a big deal. The wife had found emails that showed that this relationship was really inappropriate. The husband was confessing and confiding things about his marriage to the coworker that had clearly crossed the line.
- Moving on After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I'm often asked for tips and advice from both the spouse who cheated and the spouse who was cheated on about "how to move forward after an affair or infidelity." Some of the folks who are asking for the advice are going to be moving on alone - without their spouse. And, some are going to try to save their marriages and move on with their partners in a new and healthy way. No matter which category that you fall into, in order to ensure that you are moving on in a healthy way, you will need to identify and then work through those things that are limiting your ability to trust, to believe, and to truly live again with an open and healed heart. So, in the following article, I will offer advice on moving on in a healthy way to both the cheated on and the one who cheated.
- Forgiving Infidelity - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] Our economy according to well known analysts around the world has labeled this time in our history as akin to the great depression. Businesses are closing, companies are "right sizing" and thousands of jobs have been lost. These have resulted in families becoming poverty stricken, losing their homes and sometimes even failing to have the resources for a decent meal.
- Blaming Your Spouse After the Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails in which the spouse who was cheated on can not let go of the blame and the resentment toward the spouse who cheated. Often they have tried many things to get past this, but every time they look at their spouse, they just can not see anything but anger. In contrast, I sometimes also get emails from the spouse who has cheated but who in some way is blaming their spouse for the cheating. Sometimes they will say that their spouse did not give them enough affection or attention. Sometimes they will tell me that their spouse was distant and cold.
- How to Win Him Back After the Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received an email from a wife who asked for my advice on how to "win my husband back after he had an affair." This email bothered me on a few levels. First off, it brought back some painful memories in my own life from when my husband cheated. I understood the pain that this wife was in. But, I worried that she felt that she had to "win him back" when it was he who had cheated. She had done nothing wrong, so why did that make him a prize that had to be "won?"
- Can People Resume a Happy Relationship After Cheating?
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails both from the person who cheated and from the person who was cheated on which ask me if the relationship can ever be the same - or happy - again. Many see the cheating as the crossing of an imaginary line in the sand that means there's no going back and no fixing things. This can sometimes be true. There are times when cheating means the end of the relationship, but this is often true when one or both parties are not willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage.
- Staying Married Even After an Affair - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] The women who write me are usually trying to save their marriages, not leave them. But, as most of them are struggling with moving on past their husband's affair, this is often easier said than done. There is often a huge and awkward elephant in the room that is standing in the way of this. Often the intentions are there, but the ability to move on is more difficult than you might have hoped. I'm often asked just how I was able to stay married (and eventually happily married) after my husband's affair.
- How to Repair Your Marriage After an Affair When Your Spouse Still Has Feelings For the Other Person
[Relationships:Affairs] Most of the emails that I get are from couples that are trying to rebuild their marriage after an affair. Sometimes, the spouse who cheated is trying to be honest about everything and they will admit that they still have feelings for or about the other person. This admission now becomes a huge obstacle to fixing the marriage. The spouse who was cheated on can begin to hold on to or dwell on this information and this can really impede or delay your progress. I often get questions from both of the spouses. I hear things like: "how am I supposed to go forward with this marriage if he's still harboring feelings for the other woman?" And, from the person who cheated, I'll hear something like: "I was just trying to be honest. The truth is that I do still care for the other person. But that doesn't mean that I don't love my wife more and want to save the marriage." I know from experience that both points of view are valid. But, that doesn't mean that this doesn't make it very difficult to work past this.
- Men That Cheat - Do They Really Regret It?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails that ask me just how much (if at all) men really regret cheating on the women that they love. Women often tell me that they are 100% sure that their man is sorry that he was caught cheating, but they are less certain that he is actually sorry for the act of cheating. And, many want to make sure that the man is sorry enough that he is never going to repeat this again. So, in the following article, I've give you my take on whether men who cheat truly feel deep and genuine regret for this act.
- I Caught My Husband in an Affair and Took Him Back - Now What?
[Relationships:Affairs] I recently received an email from a woman who just wasn't sure what to do in her marriage and in her life. She had recently caught her husband cheating. It took a while for everything to come out in the open and for her to get a handle on what the true situation really was. But, as the truth began to come out, so too, did her husband's apologies, pleas for forgiveness, and promises that he was going to make it up to her. After weeks of soul searching, she decided that she did not want to abandon the life that she had worked so hard to build. So, she decided to take him back into the home and into her life. But, once this decision was made and he had moved back in, they both sort of stared at each other in confusion. The awkwardness was very evident and the anger kept bubbling right underneath the surface. She kept asking me "where do we go from here? I have no idea where to start." I'll share with you some of the advice I gave her in the following article.
- How to Forgive Yourself After You Cheat on Your Spouse
[Relationships:Affairs] Many times, I get emails from the spouse who was cheated on. Mostly, they want to know how they can forgive their spouse for the cheating and move on. Sometimes though, I hear from the spouse who did the cheating. Sometimes, I'm told that the cheating spouse just can not forgive themselves for their cheating and this is keeping both people from moving on as this issue keeps presenting itself without being fully resolved. In the following article, I'll talk about forgiveness on both sides of the infidelity.
- Should I Hate the Woman My Husband Cheated With?
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received an email from a woman who said, in part: "my hatred for the woman that my husband cheated with is taking over my life. I am constantly thinking about how much I hate her and honestly, I'm thinking about confronting her face to face but I'm not sure if this is a good idea. How can I get over this? Is it normal to hate her this much?" I'll address these questions in the following article.
- I Am Having Self Esteem Issues After His Infidelity - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails from wives who tell me that they are having serious issues with their self esteem and self worth after their husband's affair or infidelity. This is extremely hurtful on more than one level. Yes, it hurts you to feel doubtful or badly about yourself, but it's also going to thwart your ability to trust or love again. Unfortunately, this is true whether you're going to save your marriage or not. Even if you are going to end the relationship, you can't really move forward in a healthy way with all of this baggage and self doubt weighing you down. So, in the following article, I'll tell you how to begin to rebuild your self worth after his infidelity.
- I Cheated on My Spouse - Now What?
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received an email from a husband who admitted that he had cheated on his wife. She had recently found out about the infidelity and was devastated. He was sorry that he had hurt the person he loved most in the world and he was mortified at the thought that his actions might put his family in jeopardy. At this point, his wife was not listening to much of what he said and he wasn't sure how to move forward. Specifically, he asked: "what do I do now.? I wish I hadn't cheated. I wish that I could take it back, but I can't. And yet, I've deteriorated the trust so much, that I don't know if she will ever believe in me again. Is there anything that I can do to begin to fix this mess?" I'll share with you what I told him in the following article.
- What Do Men Want From an Affair? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from wives who are struggling horribly to understand why their husband has cheated. They just can not understand what he could possibly need or want from someone else. They want to understand what, exactly, it was that he got from the affair that made him risk everything for it. I'm not a man who has cheated, but I may have some answers because I've been through this, have conducted extensive research on this topic, and I often have cheating or rehabilitated men comment on my blog. So, I do feel that I have some insight as to what men are trying accomplish when they decide to cheat. I'll share this insight with you in the following article.
- I Can Not Understand My Husband's Affair - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] Over the weekend, I received an email in which a wife asked for my help in "understanding why my husband would have an affair." She confided that the "other woman" wasn't even attractive, was actually older than both she and her husband, and really didn't seem to bring anything to the table that was lacking in the marriage. Try as this wife might, she just could not wrap her brain around what would make her husband cheat in this way. I will tell you what I told her about this in the following article.
- My Husband Cheated - Do I Tell My Family? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received an email from a wife whose husband had cheated. She was not sure if she wanted to stay in the marriage or not. But, she wanted my advice as to whether she should tell her family about the infidelity or not. I'll share with you what I told her in the following article.
- How to Stay in a Marriage When He Cheated - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received a pretty heartfelt email from a wife whose husband had been unfaithful. She was really struggling with "staying in the marriage." She said she would never take her children from their home or disrupt her family. She wanted for things to remain the same, but she was having a hard time looking at him everyday and trying to pretend that nothing was wrong when this was really eating her alive. The truth is, you can keep one foot in the marriage while getting the healing that you need at the same time. It's not always easy but it can certainly be done. I will discuss this more in the following article.
- How to Make Him See That the Emotional Affair Must End
[Relationships:Affairs] Every week, it seems that I get more and more emails about emotional infidelity. Perhaps nothing physical has happened (or so they claim) but knowing that your husband or boyfriend is connecting on a deep and emotional level for someone else is sometimes every bit as painful as actual physical cheating. Compounding the problem is often the fact that the man just don't understand why this is such a huge problem to you. Because in his mind, he has not cheated. He's just talking with or is friends with a coworker or female acquaintance. However, this is not how you see it, right? Friends are one thing, but in your mind this rises above the level of mere friends. You can feel the difference in your gut and you see the changes in him when he speaks of her. You very much want this behavior to stop, but you don't want to anger your man or push him more toward her. This is a tough call, but I do not feel that you should turn a blind eye. If it's troubling, then you should speak up and come up with a livable solution for both of you.
- How to Repair Your Marriage After an Affair If Your Spouse Still Has Feelings For the Other Person
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from people who are trying to heal from infidelity in their marriage. Despite the shock and the pain, they are willing to do the hard work to save the marriage. However, there is a very big something that is standing in their way - and that is, their spouse still has feelings for the other man or the other woman. I often hear things like: "my husband says he wants to stay and wants to save the marriage after the affair.
- To Stay Or Not to Stay After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I get so many emails from folks who can not decide if they should stay or go after they have been cheated on. On the one hand, they are so angry and hurt and have a hard time believing that they would ever feel any other way. On the other hand, they have often built a life with this person and perhaps have a family. There are often quite a few people involved. Turning your back over the life that you've worked so hard to create can be a huge challenge and, is this even in your best interest anyway? This article will examine the considerations in deciding to stay and will offer some advice on sorting the whole thing out.
- Why Do People Stay in a Marriage After an Affair? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] It's amazing how your opinion about what you would do after an affair changes when an affair happens to you. It's easy to say what you would do if you are not standing smack in the middle of that situation. When this is a personal experience and you're very close to it, then it is hard to have the same conviction that you had previously, when you were only speculating. I used to see women who remained in their marriage after their husband had an affair as someone who was "settling" or turning a blind eye. Now I know that it takes a huge amount of personal conviction and strength to decide to stick it out rather than to run away. Of course, the situation is always individual. I truly believe if my husband had cheated more than once, the outcome might well have been different, but I'll give you some insight into why I chose to stay in the marriage in the following article.
- Are Men Really in the Fog When Having an Affair? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I got an email from a wife whose husband had participated in a relatively short term affair. She was now the recipient of the affair excuses that men tend to give. He told her that he can't believe he made such a huge mistake, that it meant nothing to him, and that he could walk away without giving it another thought. Of course, this did not ring true for the wife.
- I Had an Affair - How Do I Say I'm Sorry to My Wife and Have Her Believe Me?
[Relationships:Affairs] Most of the emails that I get are from women who have been cheated on. But, occasionally, I will get a man who has cheated and who is asking for my advice on how to make things right. Such was the case the other day. I had a husband who had cheated on his wife and who now completely and totally regretted it. He was desperate to find a way to make his wife believe that it was a one time thing that would never happen again and to convince her to hang in there and to work with him to save the marriage. Of course, the wife was in no mood to hear all of his apologies and requests. She wanted the time and distance to hear herself think, but he was afraid to give this for fear that she might just decide to cut her losses and leave him. Since my own experience lies with being the cheated on, I was more sympathetic to the wife. However, it was very clear that the husband was completely remorseful and genuine. I did want to help. I'll share the advice that I gave him in the following article.
- Can an Affair Make a Marriage Stronger? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from women who are devastated by their husband's affair. Once they are able to see through some of the hurt and devastation, they are left knowing that they don't want to throw away their marriage or harm their family over one mistake.
- Will My Husband Come Back After the Affair? Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I got a pretty heartbreaking email from a wife whose husband had been unfaithful. Although he claimed that the affair was over, he had moved out for a while saying he "needed a break to sort things out."
- Why Am I Embarrassed by My Husband's Affair? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I had a wife who was struggling with her husband's infidelity write to me. She was coping as best as she could, but one thing had her stumped and struggling. She wanted to know why she felt so ashamed and guilty about her husband's affair since it was her husband who should be feeling these things, not her. She had not cheated. This thought would never cross her mind. She was pretty sure she had been a reasonably good wife. Still, she just could not shake feeling so embarrassed by something that was out of her control. I will tell you what I explained to her in the following article.
- Does Marriage Counseling Work After Cheating? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I had a wife email me and tell me that she wasn't sure that her marriage was "going to make it" after her husband's affair. The husband was very remorseful and swore to do anything that he could to "make it up to" the wife and save the marriage. This offer included marriage counseling. The wife was torn about this. She had to admit that she still loved her husband and she didn't want to break up her family, but she was so angry and hurt that she couldn't fathom ever feeling any differently.
- Can I Forgive My Husband For Cheating Emotionally? Tips and Advice to Help You Decide
[Relationships:Affairs] Many of the emails that I get about emotional cheating and infidelity indicate that the writer feels that emotional cheating is far worse than psychical cheating - especially in the eyes of wives. It's far easier to explain away a psychical thing that supposedly meant nothing than it is to tolerate an emotional connection or vulnerability. I do understand this thinking as I share it.
- He Cheated and Now I Have No Trust - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] One of the most common topics on my blog about infidelity is the lack of any trust following the cheating. Common comments are things like: "I really do want to move on but I don't know that I can ever really trust him again," or "Will I always second guess him this way? Will the trust ever return?;" or "How on earth can you learn to trust someone again who has betrayed you in such an awful way?" I absolutely understand these doubts as I've had them myself in my own experience, but because of this I can also tell you first hand that the trust can be restored over time and with considerable effort and patience. I will discuss this more in the following article.
- Dealing With Infidelity - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received an email from a wife who was devastated to learn that her husband had been having an affair for about six months. They had been married for about fifteen years and had two children. She never saw it coming and was completely blindsided. In her mind, they had a very good marriage in which she perceived that every one was getting their needs met. Even now, her husband was insisting that this "one mistake" did not mean that the marriage had to be over or that she had to throw everything away and break up their family.
- Forgiving Infidelity - Is it Possible? Should You Do It? If So, When?
[Relationships:Affairs] Of all of the topics that come up on my blog, I would have to say that forgiving infidelity is the most common. This is a huge thing to ask. It's one thing to come to terms with or accept the infidelity or to want to move on from it. But forgive it? Is this really possible or even advisable? I'll try to answer these questions in the following article.
- How to Save My Marriage After an Affair - Advice For the Spouse Who Cheated
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received an email from a man who had recently had an affair. He insisted the affair was completely over, was a huge mistake, and that he was more sorry than words could express. He was very embarrassed and ashamed of his behavior, but knew that he could not take any of it back, even though he very much wished that he could.
- How to Forgive Your Husband After Infidelity
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails asking if it's possible or even advisable to forgive a husband after he has been unfaithful. There are typically many emotions that you are having to deal with all at once and typically forgiveness, or even the thought of it, doesn't come until later - until you've had the time to process some of this and to allow your anger to begin to dissipate just slightly.
- Marriage After an Affair - How to Make Your Life (And the Marriage) Better
[Relationships:Affairs] There's no question that the period of time after an affair can be quite painful and awkward for both parties. Once everything is out in the open and the reality of the situation sets in, things can look pretty bleak. There's a lot of shock, anger, resentment, and confusion present and many couples just aren't sure if their marriage is going to be able to survive this. I'd never argue that this isn't a difficult time.
- My Husband Cheated on Me - Who Should I Tell? Who Shouldn't I Tell?
[Relationships:Affairs] Finding out that your husband cheated is a fate that few would wish on their worst enemy. There are few things more painful, more difficult to overcome, and more likely to shake your world to it's core. It's no wonder then that you would want someone who will listen and be there for you as you navigate through this difficult time. It's likely that you've been there to offer a shoulder, or a hand, or an ear.
- Does an Affair Mean the End of Your Marriage? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] One of the most popular questions that I'm asked on my blog is something like "does infidelity, an affair, or cheating automatically mean the end of a marriage? Are we headed for divorce because of one stupid act or set of actions?" I will tell you how I answer these types of questions in the following article.
- Do Men Cheat on Women They Love? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] Many women who were cheated on very much doubt their cheating husband's love. This is true even if he's full of apologizes and swears up and down that he never stopped loving her and never will. I often hear comments like: "You don't cheat on someone that you love. If he really loved me, then he wouldn't have been with her and then lied to me about it. If he truly loved me as much as he says, then we wouldn't be in this mess." I understand this point of view because I had it myself. I did not care what my husband said, how much he tried to make it up to me, or how hard he tried to reassure me or to show me that he still loved me. But as the shock started to wear off, I stated to think back and all of the kind, touching, and loving things that he did for me over the years. I started to research infidelity and it's causes and I learned that men actually do and can still love their wives or girlfriends and still cheat. I'll explain this more in the following article.
- Fixing a Marriage After Infidelity
[Relationships:Affairs] I receive a lot of emails asking me if it's really possible to "fix" a marriage after infidelity and, if so, how does one go about doing it? Many of the folks who write me really do want to make their marriages work and are doing their best to navigate all of the negative issues that infidelity brings, but they aren't sure how to go about doing this and often their spouses do not believe in their sincerity. So, in the following article, I'll tell you what I believe (based on my own experience and research) is vital if you want your marriage to be one of the ones that is able to rebound and survive after infidelity.
- Why Do Husbands Come Back After an Affair? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I received an email from a wife who told me that her husband had been having a two month affair with a coworker that she had recently found out about. Of course, she was shocked, confused, and hurting. But, to make matters even more confusing for her, the husband had been asking to return to the marriage -- fully committed to saving it, and making all sorts of promises to make this right and to make all of this up to her.
- Is Staying in a Marriage After Your Husband Had an Affair a Sign of Weakness?
[Relationships:Affairs] There is a perception that a woman who takes back a cheating husband is weak, lacks self esteem, or is naive. I used to have this same perception, until my own husband cheated. I like to think that I have a firm handle on reality, although my self esteem did have issues way back then. Still, I don't consider any of these objectives to be applicable in my case, and I do believe that there are valid reasons to take him back. I also believe that there are situations where you take him back for all the wrong reasons. I will discuss this more in the following article.
- Reasons Men Have Affairs
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails from wives and girlfriends asking for concrete reasons as to why a man would cheat or have an affair. The truth is, the reasons that men cheat are as varied as the personality of the man himself. Sometimes, it is a personality flaw in the man. Sometimes, it is due to a man's perception. (Whether he is accurate in this perception or not is another story.) And sometimes, it is due to a man being vulnerable at around the same time another woman approaches him or comes into the picture. Or, it could be a combination of a few of or all of these things. I will discuss this more in the following article.
- How Body Language Can Help to Restore Trust After Infidelity
[Relationships:Affairs] People often intuitively know that body language can help to make others trust or distrust you. But, few people know how important it can be when a spouse who has been cheated on is trying to evaluate whether the spouse who cheated on them is telling the truth or not. Make no mistake. If you have cheated on your spouse (even if you are deeply sorry), then they are now watching you like a hawk. They notice every facial expression, every gesture, and everything that you are saying without speaking. This article will discuss how your body language can either help to restore the trust or can instead imply that you are still being dishonest or are still not trustworthy.
- Can Our Marriage Survive Infidelity? - Tips and Advice to Help You Decide
[Relationships:Affairs] Probably one of the most common questions or comments that I get on my blog is something like: "I want to know if our marriage can survive his (or her) infidelity. Because if we're going to fall apart or end up divorced anyway then I am probably just going to cut my losses now. Going through this is too painful and I'm not going to make it worse and keep rehashing it if our marriage is just going to end no matter what we do. Sometimes I think that infidelity is just too big a mistake to ever over come. Is it?"
- Picking Up the Pieces After an Affair - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] Most of the emails that I get asking for my advice on and help with "picking up the pieces after an affair" come from the spouse who was cheated on. But, I do sometimes get requests from the folks who did the cheating and who want to make things right again. Either way, my advice is mostly going to be the same. Picking up the pieces and ensuring that your marriage not only survives, but thrives after infidelity is actually more common than you might think.
- I Want to Stop My Husband's Emotional Cheating - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] It's usually the husband or the male who makes a distinction between emotional and physical cheating. Most wives see emotional infidelity as every bit as hurtful and damaging as an physical affair. In fact, many see it as worse. Because you can often justify a physical betrayal as not really meaning anything or as being a one time thing. But emotional infidelity often cuts much deeper. Women value emotional closeness, I believe, more than anything else. They want to feel as though there is something special about them which makes their husband feel safe and to want to share his inner most feelings.
- Can an Affair Really Save Your Marriage?
[Relationships:Affairs] Before an affair happened to me, I thought that the people who said that affairs saved their marriages were absolutely delusional. How in the world could something as devastating as betraying and cheating on your spouse improve your relationship with them? I could not fathom how this was possible and chalked these claims up to my theory that the people who made these claims had to tell themselves this just to get through the day. But, when an affair happened in my own marriage, this forced me to change some of my perceptions and to see things from another angle.
- Earning Trust Back in a Marriage After Infidelity - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] One of the biggest obstacles to saving a marriage after infidelity is restoring the trust. After all, the spouse who was cheated on was betrayed in one of the worst ways imaginable and this is a pain and shock like no other. So, common sense and self preservation is going to automatically kick in during the time frame following the affair. No one wants to get their heart broken again and no one wants to feel dangerously vulnerable. With that said though, there are numerous cheating spouses who are very sincere about being deeply sorry and becoming trustworthy again.
- What Should the Cheating Partner Do After an Affair? My Advice Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] I sometimes get emails from spouses who have cheated asking for my advice as to what they should do after their affair to save the marriage or to make things up to (or right with) their spouse. I have strong opinions on this topic because not only was I in the shoes of the spouse who was cheated on, but I have a lot of devastated folks who contact me looking for support in coping with infidelity. I don't say this to make anyone feel guilty or bad, I'm just telling you that I do tend to see things from the perspective of those who have been cheated on, and this does give me unique insight into what these folks often need to heal and to move on. I'll share some of these things with you in the following article.
- Women Who Stay After a Husband's Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I know that there are stereotypes about women who chose to stay in their marriages after their husband's affair because I used to believe these stereotypes myself - (until I found myself in this exact same situation.) Common perceptions about wives who stay is that they have low self esteem, that they know that they couldn't support themselves or afford to live on their own, that they have an "open marriage" or are participating in their own affair, or that they have chosen to put their family's or children's needs above their own. From experience, I've learned that many of these perceptions just aren't true.
- Why Do I Need to See the Woman Who He Had an Affair With?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from wives who have become absolutely obsessed with the woman who their husbands had an affair with. They want to know every single thing about this woman and no detail is too small. What does she look like? Why did she have this power over your husband? What did they do together? Is she better than you in some way?
- Can a Marriage Really Be Happy After an Affair? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] I know first hand that the days and months after your find out that your spouse has been cheating or having an affair are probably some of the most difficult days that you will ever experience. The pain is raw. The doubts are relentless. And time stands still, making you feel that you will never feel any different or any better.
- Does an Affair Mean a Man Isn't Happy in His Marriage? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] Having a husband or boyfriend who cheated is a big hit on your self esteem. You begin to doubt your marriage and your ability to make your husband happy or to be enough. And there are tons of old stereotypes which imply that if a man cheats, it's because his wife doesn't understand him, he's not happy in his marriage, or his sex life at home is lacking. While I'm sure that there are men who cheat for these reasons, there are many other common reasons that men cheat, and many of them have nothing at all to do with the wife or the marriage. I'll discuss some of the various reasons that men cheat in the following article.
- Why Do Women Take Their Husbands Back After an Affair? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] I sometimes get emails from people wondering how I could advocate saving marriages when one of the spouses have cheated on the other. Some common comments that I get are things like "how could someone take back a cheating husband? I could never forgive and move on in this way," or "I could never continue with the marriage after cheating. It is a deal breaker for me. I would always think about him with someone else and this would eventually ruin the marriage. It would never stand a chance." I understand this view point because I used to share it.
- Can You Really Have a Stronger Marriage After an Affair? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] I'll be honest. When my girlfriend's husband had an affair and she disclosed to me that their marriage counselor had assured her that with hard work marriages can actually emerge stronger after an affair, I did not believe this in the least. I was convinced that this was just a lie that she had to tell herself just to make it through the day. I could not fathom ever being able to forgive, or to trust, or to participate in the marriage in the same way knowing that your spouse had betrayed you in this way.
- Getting Over an Affair - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I have a lot of people who write to me wanting to know if they will ever really and truly get over an affair or infidelity. I'm not talking about getting over the man or woman that you cheated with (although I do get those letters too.) I'm talking about getting over your spouse's cheating once and for all so that you can move on to a much healthier place and save the marriage, if that's what you decide to do.
- Why Do Men Stay in a Marriage After an Affair? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from women who want to know why men come back home or return to their wives after an affair. Sometimes, this question comes from a broken hearted mistress. But most times, it comes from the wife. Often, the wife fears that she's the consolation prize, and that the husband is only back because he's been caught or because he's comfortable in the marriage or because he doesn't want to cause any more pain. I'll discuss this more in the following article.
- Getting Back to Normal After an Affair - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from wives who are really sick and tired of having their lives interrupted and very negatively affected by their husband's affair. Many tell me that they "just want things to be normal again." In short, they want their lives back. They wish that they could just wake up and this would all be a dream and they could just get back to their regular, boring but blissful routine without all the feelings of confusion, anger, and betrayal plaguing them constantly. I completely understand this. Living in the aftermath of an affair is like having everything that you thought you knew and most definitely valued not only called into question, but threatened as well...
- Is it OK to Forgive a Husband Or Boyfriend After He Cheated? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] Sometimes, I get emails from women who say things like "my husband cheated and I have forgiven him, but my friends say I'm crazy for doing so," or "my mother says that I have no back bone and should never forgive someone who cheated on me, but I love my boyfriend and want to make the relationship work. Is it so wrong to forgive and move on?" I'll address these concerns in the following article.
- Should I Forgive My Husband For Cheating? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails from wives who are struggling with forgiving their husbands for infidelity and cheating. Deep down, most really want to. They know that in order to save their marriages and move on, forgiveness must happen. But there is a big difference between really wanting to forgive and knowing that you should and actually being able to do it. Because the process of healing from being cheated on just isn't at all easy or linear. It's impossible to put a deadline on this. And some days you'll feel particularly forgiving and like you could possibly move on and the next day you'll feel quite angry and extremely unforgiving.
- The Thought of His Affair Hurts Me So Much - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails from wives who are unable to stop thinking about and/or dwelling on their husband's affair. This is very painful. I often hear comments like " I can't stop thinking about his affair and about him and this other woman. It hurts me so much and I know I have to stop it, but these thoughts just pop in my head," or "I just can't get the thought of them together out of my mind."
- Should You Forgive Someone If They Cheat on You? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] Forgiving someone after they have cheated on you is a lot to ask by almost anyone's standards. There are so many things to over come - from restoring the trust, to identifying the things that lead up to the cheating and working through them, and then creating something that has you wanting to look forward rather than looking back.
- The Effects of Infidelity on a Marriage (And How to Overcome Them)
[Relationships:Affairs] It's pretty much common sense to know that, at least initially, infidelity, affairs, and cheating can have a devastating effect on your marriage. This is the most severe of all betrayals and it can literally challenge everything that you've ever believed about your spouse and your marriage.
- My Husband Cheated and is Now Begging For Forgiveness After the Affair - Should I Give It?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from women who aren't sure how to respond to their husbands' begging for forgiveness or asking to be "taken back" after cheating or an affair. Some common comments are things like "he says that he's so sorry and is desperate for me to take him back. He wants me to forgive him. He promises that he will make this up to me and that he'll do "anything" to get me back. But I'm still very angry and confused. Should I forgive him? Is it even possible to forgive after being betrayed in this way?" I'll address these questions in the following article.
- How to Tell Your Husband That You're Hurt by His Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I sometimes get emails from women who are sort of stuck in a holding pattern. They've found out that their husband has cheated and are devastated. They want to tell him, in great detail, just how much this cheating and this affair has hurt and devastated them, but often they hold back for a couple of reasons. What they often don't realize is that they must release these feelings or they will only become stronger and have a more lasting foot hold on them and the marriage. There is a way to get the point across and still retain your dignity and to not harm your marriage more than it already is. I'll discuss this more in the following article.
- Should I Take Him Back After His Cheating?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from wives whose husbands have cheated in the past but who have now returned full of apologies and promises that he is going to make this all up to her and that the marriage can and will survive this infidelity. But, the wives, understandably, are hesitant to put their hearts on the line and to allow themselves to be vulnerable again. No woman wants to be a door mat or to leave her self respect and dignity hanging on a hook in the closet. But, it can be very hard to walk away from a marriage and a long term relationship over just one mistake. Many times there are children involved and it can be heartbreaking to even think about taking children away from their father over something that had nothing to do with them. So, it's understandable that many women will consider taking him back, even with the cheating. There are ways that a man can be rehabilitated, but it requires that he is completely willing to be and that you are able to heal. I will discuss this more in the following article.
- Do You Forgive a Cheater? It Depends on the Situation - When to Stay and When to Leave
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails asking me to define when you should forgive a cheater and when you should leave them and call it a day. When is it worth staying and working it out and when should you walk away? I believe that for the most part, you can tell which type of relationship that you are (or were) in. Granted, I don't and can't know every person who asks this question and every situation is unique and different, but I do believe that there are some observable differences between a relationship that deserves to and can be saved and one that just isn't worth the time and effort. I'll explain these distinctions in the following article.
- What to Do After He Cheats - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails from wives and girlfriends who have found out that their husband or boyfriend has been cheating and are not at all sure how to handle it or how to proceed. Some common comments are things like: "I can't envision our relationship ever being the same again. This hurts so much, but I still love him. What do I do now?;" or "I just don't know what to do now. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I am filled with self doubt. I want to do something to move myself forward, but I just don't want to know what." I'll tell you the advice that I typically give in the following article.
- I Am Always Worried That My Husband Will Cheat Again - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I can not tell you how many women tell me that they just can't get let the affair go once and for all. They've made the decision to forgive and they want to save their marriage.
- Does He Love His Mistress? Why He May Think That He Does
[Relationships:Affairs] It's interesting that a lot of the women who write to me are more worried about their husband's emotional feelings about the woman with whom he's cheating (we'll call her "the mistress" in this article) than they are about how he feels about her physically. Many tell me things like "I can deal with him being unfaithful, but I can not deal with him actually loving her."
- My Husband is Attracted to a Coworker - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Conflict] Since affairs most commonly happen at work (with coworkers,) it's no surprise that I get a lot of emails from wives who are concerned that their husband is attracted to a female coworker. This is a very frustrating situation because you must send your husband to work every day, knowing that he is going to not only see but must work closely with her for most likely eight hours (or longer.)
- Should You Forgive a Cheater? My Opinion Based on Experience
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of questions about whether to forgive a cheating loved one. Often, people really want to forgive. They really want to save the relationship. But, they are experiencing so much pain that they are afraid to open themselves up again. And, they resent having to go through this since they really did nothing wrong.
- Do Men Love the Women They Cheat With? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from wives wanting to know if it's possible that their husband was (or is) in love with the woman with whom he cheated. Common questions are: "Could he actually love her? Could this be the real thing? Or, does he just think he loves her because it's new and exciting?" Sometimes the husband has actually told the wife that he is "in love" with the mistress, but the wife has her doubts as the relationship has only been going on for a short time. Many wives tell me that the thought that their husband actually loves this woman is worse than the physical betrayal. Most men aren't thinking logically when they are cheating or are having an affair. So, it's sensible to question if they have a real grip on their true feelings or are just getting caught up in this whole thing. But, many often dialog with me when the affair has been found out. Many men tell me that their perceptions are quite different once they've had the time and distance to evaluate their feelings. I'll discuss this more in the following article.
- My Husband is in Love With Another Woman But Wants to Stay With Me
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I got an email from a wife who told me: "my husband is in love with someone else. He's very honest about the fact that he loves her, but he says his commitment is to me and to our family. He's going to stay with me, but I feel as though he's only with me because he's obligated. I suspect that if he could have his way, he'd be with her. How can I have a marriage knowing I'm the second prize?" I'll tell you what I told her in the following article.
- Working Through an Affair - Advice and Tips That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails asking for advice on "working through an affair." This is a pretty loaded phrase. Many of the people asking for this advice really want help with a wide range of issues. They want to know how to demand that the affair stop immediately. They want to know how to make sure that the affair is really over. They want to know how to restore the trust and communication. They're asking me how to work through the awkwardness and pain that is the big elephant in the center of the room. Basically, they just want steps to begin feeling better and moving forward. I'll try to offer this in the following article.
- What I Learned From My Husband's Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] Often, when I begin to tell people what I learned about my husband's affair, I get knowing glances or people will even interrupt and say things like "I know, you learned that you can't trust men," or "you know that if you trust someone you will always be hurt," or "you learned that men just can't remain monogamous to one women." There was a time early in the process when I would've told you that things were correct. However, with the luxury of time, distance, and introspection, what I've learned is actually quite different from this. I actually learned more about myself than I learned about my husband.
- Hating a Cheating Spouse - Is This Normal? Is it Healthy?
[Relationships:Affairs] Yesterday, I received an email from a woman who wrote: "I feel intense hatred for my cheating husband. I can not even stand the sight of him. I hate him today every bit as much as I loved him when we married. Is something wrong with me? Is it normal to feel this way? What can I do about these feelings that won't go away?" First, she didn't say if her husband was still cheating or if he stopped the cheating and was remorseful. This makes a huge difference. So, I asked for clarification and found that yes, she was sure of the fact that the cheating has stopped and that technically, her husband was doing "everything right." So, in the following article, I will share with you part of my response to her.
- Why is There No Remorse After the Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of frustrated emails from folks who tell me that there spouse is showing "absolutely no remorse" after being caught cheating or having an affair. Common comments that I get are things like: "maybe I'd want to save the marriage if I knew that he / she were sorry. But he / she isn't sorry at all and has no remorse." I'm just as angry about the fact that they aren't remorseful than the fact that they cheated." Another common comment is "not only is he not sorry, but he's throwing this back in my face as if HIS affair is MY fault. What is wrong with him?" I'll try to answer these questions in the following article and will tell you why it often takes a while for the remorse to kick in.
- Is Cheating Just a Part of Marriage? I'll Tell You My Opinion
[Relationships:Affairs] The other day, I had a woman actually ask me "is cheating just a part of marriage that I have to accept? Because both my husband and some of my friends say that it's not human nature to be monogamous and that cheating is just a normal part of life." Of course, intuitively, the woman did not buy this. She knew many married men that don't cheat. However, she could not deny or ignore the statistics which indicate that over 80% of married people consider cheating at one time or another. Still, how many act on it and what causes one person to be faithful while another will give into temptation or cheat? I'll discuss this more in the following article.
- How to Handle Or Deal With a Husband's "Other Woman" - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] Over the weekend, I received an email from a wife wanting to know "the best way to deal with "my husband's other woman." The husband had cheated with a coworker and this woman would not leave the married couple (who were trying to save their marriage) alone.
- How to Heal the Hurt Caused by a Cheating Husband
[Relationships:Affairs] The letters that I get from some of my readers really affect me because I know just how these women feel. I often hear comments like "I've never been so hurt or so devastated in my entire life," or "I don't think that I will ever feel happy or whole again," or "things can never be the same for me after this."
- Restoring Intimacy After Infidelity
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of questions about sex and intimacy after infidelity and cheating. Most of the questions come from wives whose husbands have cheated. Their concerns lie in the fact that they can't stop thinking about their husband being with someone else while making love or the fact that they just don't feel confident that their husband finds them desirable or isn't thinking about the other woman while being intimate with them.
- Should I Cheat on My Husband to Get Back at Him For Cheating on Me?
[Relationships:Affairs] Yesterday, I got an email from a wife who told me that she was considering cheating on her husband as a sort of "pay back" for his cheating on her. She said that she could not let go of the anger and hatred and she was enjoying the attention of the "other man." She said that she no longer felt desirable to her husband but that she felt like a different, better person when she was with the other guy. She liked feeling attractive again and she felt that her husband "deserved it" if she chose to cheat because now he could see how it felt. I completely understand this temptation. I have gone through infidelity and I understand the anger, resentment and pain.
- My Husband Almost Cheated on Me - Will an Affair Eventually Happen? Can I Trust Him?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from wives who have either caught their husbands before an affair or cheating has actually happened or the husbands have felt guilty or scared and have come clean and confessed. In both cases, the husband swears that "nothing has happened," that there's been no physical contact or sex.
- My Husband Told Me That He's Sexually Attracted to Another Woman - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Marriage] Over the weekend, I received an email from a frantic woman who said that her husband had admitted that he is sexually attracted to a co worker. The husband swore that nothing had happened between them. There had allegedly been no sex and no physical contact, but the husband was guilty about the attraction and he wanted to tell his wife about it. The wife in turn had no idea how she was supposed to respond to or handle this. Should she be grateful that he told her? Could she believe that nothing was going on? Should she forbid him from seeing this woman? Should she be angry? Was this the same as cheating? I'll tell you what I told her in the following article.
- I Hate My Husband For Cheating on Me - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] Yesterday, I received an email from a woman who was overcome with negative emotions. Her husband had cheated and understandably so, the wife was filled with rage and feelings of hatred. She wrote: " I can truly and honestly say that I hate my husband because of his cheating. I can not even stand to be in the same room with him. I feel like I could explode and I can't imagine ever feeling any better. What am I going to do? He wants to make things up to me, but the sight of him makes me sick." I completely understand feeling this way.
- How Can I Get My Husband Away From the Other Woman? Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from wives who want to know how to first get their husbands away from the mistress or other woman, and then how to keep him away from her for good. Because it's almost impossible to move on or save a marriage when you are wondering if he's with her (both literally, in his heart, or in his mind) or if he can be trusted. In short, this woman is standing between you and your husband and she has to go. But, here's the rub. In order for her to go, your husband needs to be the one to pull away from her and mean it. In the following article, I will offer advice and tips on how to make this happen.
- Healing From the Pain of Infidelity
[Relationships:Affairs] There's no question that the pain of infidelity can be all encompassing. So many of my readers tell me that nothing has shook them quite the way that this has. Finding out that the person who should have your best interest at heart more than any other has betrayed this responsibility is devastating. It can make you doubt everything that you thought you knew and question your ability to correctly evaluate any situation. You begin to wonder if you can trust anyone or if life as you know it will ever be the same again.
- Does Sex Have to Be Involved For it to Be Considered an Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] Often, I hear from wives who ask if their husband was being unfaithful or having an affair if he didn't have sex with the other woman. I often get comments like these: "My husband has been having lunch with and seeing someone else, but hasn't had sex. Is this cheating?;" or "My husband has been seeing a coworker, but he says they've only kissed and have not had intercourse. Is this still infidelity?;" or "Is cyber cheating the same as an affair?" I'll answer these questions in the following article.
- Things a Husband Can Do to Show His Remorse After Cheating Or Having an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] The letters and emails that I often get about surviving infidelity mostly come from women who are dealing with the aftermath of their husband cheating. Many are concerned that their husbands are not truly sorry about the affair, not really. Most of the wives think that their husbands only have remorse because they have been caught. But yesterday, I received an email from a husband. This man was deeply sorry about the affair, wanted very much to save his marriage, but he told me that his wife would not believe anything that he said.
- Taking Him Back After Cheating -Should You? Tips and Advice to Help You Decide
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of letters and emails from wives and girlfriends who aren't sure if they should take back their husbands or boyfriends who have cheated. A lot are concerned about whether or not he will cheat again or if they can really ever trust him once more. Many aren't sure that the relationship will ever really be the same or be healthy again. The truth is, relationships can and do survive infidelity every day. Some are even stronger or better as the result.
- Surviving Infidelity in Your Marriage
[Relationships:Affairs] Some of the emails that I get from wives who are trying to recover from their husband's infidelity are heart breaking. Perhaps I feel for them more deeply because I have experienced what they are feeling first hand. I know exactly how deep the betrayal cuts and exactly how harshly you begin to judge yourself, your perceptions, and your ability to recover. When all of these emotions are coming at you at once, it can be very difficult to fathom that things can ever be the same or "right" again. However, I can tell you from personal experience and from the letters I get that it is absolutely possible to survive infidelity - both personally and in terms of your marriage. I'll offer some tips on how to do this in the following article.
- Can a Marriage Work After an Affair, Cheating, Or Infidelity?
[Relationships:Affairs] On the day that they get married, many people believe that any form of infidelity throughout the life of the marriage would be a deal breaker. This belief is usually unwavering until cheating actually happens. Because typically once you're confronted with an affair, you have a significant amount of history, shared memories, a home, a partnership, and perhaps even children behind you. These things can make it very difficult to close the door. And many times, as furious as you are with your spouse and as betrayed and hurt as you feel, you still, somewhere deep in your heart, continue to love them, which can be extremely frustrating too.
- Surviving Infidelity in Your Marriage - Tips and Advice That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] In the lifetime of many women, there is no pain greater than infidelity. On our wedding day, most of us believed that our vows were sacred and were meant to be shared by only two. So, when your husband allows a third party into your relationship, the betrayal, pain, confusion, and resentment can come crashing down and hurt like nothing you've ever experienced. It can be so bad that you begin to feel as though nothing will ever be the same again.
- If a Man Cheats, is He Likely to Cheat Again? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] Probably the biggest concern that my readers face (wives whose husband have cheated) is the worry that he's going to do it again. I get so many emails that say things like: "is once a cheater always a cheater true?," "how do I know that he isn't going to cheat on me again?", or "how can I affair proof our marriage so that I never have to go through this again?" I'll answer these questions in the following article as well as outline the things that you (and he) can do to ensure that the cheating doesn't repeat.
- How to Make Things Right After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I'm often asked "how to make things right" after an affair or cheating by two different parties - the person who cheated and the person who was cheated on. Believe it or not, the advice and tips that I give to both is quite similar. What I'll outline below comes from both personal experience (my own husband cheated once upon a time) and intensive research. I am able to see this from both sides as I often dialog with or try to help people who have cheated but who are committed to again making things right.
- Can I Ever Truly Forgive My Cheating Husband?
[Relationships:Affairs] The letters that I get from wives who can't foresee ever forgiving their husband's infidelity really do effect me because they make me remember exactly what I was feeling a few years ago. I completely understand truly wanting to move on and to put the affair and the cheating behind you, but just being unable to forgive, even though you genuinely want to. It seems that the anger, betrayal, and negative feelings always find a way to rear their ugly heads even though you've made a genuine vow to leave them behind once and for all. The truth is that things may not ever be the same, but they can actually be better (although I know that it doesn't seem like it right now.) A lot is required on both of your parts though, and eventually, when you are ready and have what you need, you will need to forgive in order to regain the trust and openness that you'll need to genuinely rebuild. I'll discuss the things that I personally believe are necessary for forgiveness in the following article.
- How to Work on a Marriage After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] Before an affair actually occurred in my marriage, I, like most people, assumed that cheating meant an inevitable divorce. But, through personal experience and a lot of research, I've learned this is not always the case - not by a long shot. In fact, affairs are quite common in marriages, but so too, are couples being able to salvage a lifetime of memories and connectedness in order to save what's important. I get a lot of emails from wives (and sometimes husbands) asking what are some of the best ways to "work on" their marriage after an affair. So, in the following article, I'll tell you what I find to be some of the best ways to begin the healing and reparation process.
- My Husband Can't Forgive Himself For Cheating
[Relationships:Affairs] Often, the articles that I write are meant to help wives who are having problems or difficulties forgiving and healing from a husband's cheating. The other day though, I got an email that was a little different. This wife was writing not because she had trouble forgiving her husband's affair (she already had), but because he couldn't forgive himself for his cheating and of course that was also making it difficult for both of them to move on. In the following article, I'll tell you the advice and tips that I told her meant to help her husband forgive himself for the affair.
- Do I Have to Forgive My Cheating Husband?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about moving past cheating and affairs. Sometimes, I get wives who write to me and say something like: "do I really have to forgive my husband's cheating, because I don't think I can. I try to, but something always sets me back. Is forgiveness really necessary?" I typically answer that while forgiveness is not a mandated requirement (you're always entitled to your own feelings), it is eventually going to be necessary if you chose to save your marriage. You can not be happy and secure with a man if you haven't forgiven him, still harbor resentment, and don't really, deep in your heart, trust him. And, forgiveness if often more about you than it is about him. Don't beat yourself up if you're not at this place yet. It often takes quite a while and many times, you can't get there if you don't have every single thing that you need to move on. I'll explain this more in the following article.
- When to Take Back a Cheating Man, Boyfriend, Or Husband
[Relationships:Affairs] I write a lot about healing after an affair, saving the relationship (if that's what you chose to do), and emerging stronger in the end. I have a lot of women who contact me and ask things like "how do I know if I should take him back?" or "when is it advisable to forgive a cheating man and save the relationship or marriage?" The answer to these questions is going to depend on a few things like: the circumstances; the ability to compromise and work on the relationship by both parties; and the capacity of the person who was cheated on to forgive combined with the capacity of the person who cheated to change their behavior. In the following article, I'll give you the tips and guidelines that I often give women who want to know if they should forgive or take back the man who cheated on them.
- Why Men Come Back After Cheating
[Relationships:Affairs] I often have women whose husbands are having (or have recently had) an affair email me. They are hurt, confused, and frightened. They often want information and statistics about why, how, and if men come back after cheating. Often, a woman who has been cheated on will doubt a husband's sincerity when he wants to come back. They are afraid that they are just the consolation prize when things have gone wrong with the affair. But, here he comes with his tail between his legs muttering apologies and every thing's just supposed to be OK again. But, that's not really the case, at least in your head.
- How to Deal With Your Husband's Mistress
[Relationships:Affairs] Of all of the emails that I get from wives struggling to deal with their husbands affair, topics about dealing with or confronting the mistress are perhaps the most common. Women want to know if they should attempt to find out who this woman is, if they should confront her, if they should talk to her when she keeps calling, or if they can believe anything she says or does. Many also want to know the best way to get revenge on her. Some even want to appeal to her sense of decency, hoping to convince her to leave the husband alone. (Hint: she's already shown that she doesn't have any decency. Negotiating with her is a waste of time.) In the following article, I'll tell you what I often tell my reader's about a husband's mistress.
- How to Make Your Marriage Work After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I often receive emails from both husbands and wives (no matter who was the one doing the cheating) asking if it's possible to make a marriage work after an affair and if so, how to best go about doing it. Many don't initially believe me when I say that it's not only possible, but it's more common than you might think, and I have many former readers tell me that their marriage is actually stronger after the affair. Now, this doesn't happen magically and you must have patience and be willing to put in the work to reestablish the bond and trust, but the rewards can be worth it. I'll discuss the steps in making a marriage work after cheating has weakened it in the following article.
- I Am Unable to Forgive My Cheating Spouse - Advice and Tips That May Help
[Relationships:Affairs] Most people will cite a lack of trust as the reason that marriages end after an affair. This is sometimes the case. But, from my readers' stories and from and my own experience, I firmly believe that it is the inability to forgive the affair that ends many marriages. And, many times, the spouse who was cheated on actually very much wants to forgive. They truly want to move on and save their marriages. They try everything that they can think of to get through this, but at the end of the day, they just can not bring themselves to forgive once and for all. If you're in this situation, this article is meant to bring your attention to some things that might be keeping you stuck. And, you may be able to overcome these things if you address them and then handle or navigate them correctly.
- My Husband Cheated - Does He Really Still Love Me?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from wives asking how it possible for a husband to cheat but to still love their wives. Some common questions are: "how can he cheat on me and still love me?;" or "my husband cheated, but insists that he still loves me and wants to be with me. How is this possible?;" or "I caught my husband cheating, but he said that it has nothing to do with me or the marriage? He wants to work things out. How can this be?" I'll do my best to answer these questions for you in the following article.
- My Husband's Mistress is Trying to Contact Me - Should I Talk to Her?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often dialog with women who have recently found out that their husbands have cheated. I notice that very often, the wife is more concerned about the other woman or the husband's mistress than she is about her husband or her marriage. It's perfectly natural to wonder about this woman and want to know more about her. After all, she's the person who had a huge part in turning your world upside down and you want to see for yourself just who you are contending with. So, many women will email me when the other woman tries to initiate contact with them and wonder what they should do. Common questions are: "should I meet with her face to face or on the phone?;" "should I tell my husband that I'm meeting with her?;" or "should I just ignore this woman? Do I really want to let her into my life?" I'll answer these questions in the following article.
- How Does an Affair Happen?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often get emails from women who are struggling to understand their husband's affair. I'll often get comments like: "why and how do affairs happen? Because I just can't understand it. Maybe if I understood the reason why this happened, it would help me to move forward, but it just doesn't make sense to me right now." I also have many men who find me on my blog and who write to me asking for advice on reconnecting with their wives or saving the marriage after the affair. They often share with me the details of the affair and why it happened.
- Is it Wrong to Forgive a Man Who Cheated on You?
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails from women who are worried that forgiving the boyfriend, husband, or partner who cheated on them is wrong or says something negative about them. Many of them will tell me things like: " I feel like I have no backbone or self respect, but I can't help it, I still love him," or "my friends are mad at me and say I'm crazy to forgive him after he cheated," or "my mother doesn't understand that he's very remorseful and I want to make this marriage work." I need to disclose to you that I ultimately (after a lot of time, distance, and healing) chose to forgive my husband after he cheated and save our marriage.
- How to Overcome a Cheating Spouse
[Relationships:Affairs] Many people tell me that truly getting over an affair is the hardest challenge that they've ever faced - worse than illness, worse than losing a job, worse than unforeseen tragedy - because learning about an affair makes you realize that the life you thought you knew didn't really exist. This shakes your world view, your ability to trust, and your faith in your own perceptions, to their very core. Many people describe it as "my whole life was a lie and I didn't even know it."
- My Husband Cheated But I Still Love Him - Is This Wrong?
[Relationships:Affairs] I never understood women who stood by their husbands after they cheated, until the same thing happened to me. Turning off your feelings like a light switch or just forgetting all of the good times is easier said than done. And, I know that I'm alone in feeling this way. I get a lot of emails from wives that say things like: "my husband cheated and I am furious with him, but I can't help it. I still love him," or "how spineless am I? My husband cheated on me, but I can't kick him out or turn my back on him. I still love him. I don't want to let this destroy my family.
- How to Move on and Forgive Your Spouse's Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] Before my husband had an affair, I used to be absolutely sure that any cheating was going to be an absolute deal breaker for me. I reasoned that infidelity was just something that I could not and would not tolerate. Then, when it actually happened and I had some time and distance to calm down, I began to have mixed feelings. It was difficult to just throw away a life time of commitment and to break up a family because of one mistake. Eventually, I determined that I wanted to save my marriage but that decision wasn't so easy either. I had a very difficult time getting the images out of my head and the anger and doubt out of my heart.
- Is it Worth Seeking Revenge on the Other Woman?
[Relationships:Affairs] It's perfectly normal to fixate on the other woman or mistress when finding out about a husband's cheating. Of course you want to know who she is, what she looks like, how she got her hooks into your husband, and what her intentions are with this whole sorted thing.
- How to Recover After Being Cheated On
[Relationships:Affairs] So many people write to me and tell me that being cheated on stole something very precious away from them. They worry that they will never feel "normal" or "right" again because their ability to trust and go into a relationship with their whole heart has been seriously compromised. They feel that something is wrong with them, that they're not enough, and that they're now sentenced to a life where suspicion, doubt, and fear will reign. I understand these feelings as I went through every one of them myself after I found out my husband cheated. But, I'm also just fine (and much stronger) today. Although it may not feel like it right now, it's not only possible to recover from an affair but to emerge stronger, wiser, and actually at peace. I'll explain what I mean by this in the following article.
- Forgiving a Cheating Spouse
[Relationships:Affairs] I sometimes get emails from wives who read my infidelity articles. Yesterday, I got one which said "I know that I will never forget about his cheating. But, I do want to forgive. However, I'm having a lot of trouble with this. I just can't seem to let it go or get over the anger and the images that are in my head." I completely understand this from personal experience and I reassured her that these feelings were absolutely normal. However, there does come a time when you'll need to move on and forgive (should you chose to). In the following article, I'll offer advice and tips for those who want to forgive but are having a hard time doing so.
- Do Cheating Husbands Still Love Their Wives?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about surviving affairs. One of the more common questions that I'm asked is something like: "my husband recently cheated on me, but insists that he still loves me and wants to save our marriage. How can this be possible? Is it realistic that a husband can cheat and still love his wife, or is he just saying this because he's been caught?" I'll attempt to answer this question in the following article.
- Is My Cheating Husband Truly Sorry?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often receive emails from wives who are dealing with the aftermath of an affair. One of the more common questions that I get is "how do I know that my husband is truly sorry about the affair or is just sorry that he's been caught?" The answer to this is going to depend upon the circumstances (and whether this has happened before), but I find that men who are truly sorry exhibit several common behaviors. I'll outline them below.
- Should I Confront My Husband's Mistress?
[Relationships:Affairs] There are many questions that a wife must typically grapple with after finding out her husband has had an affair. One of the more common things that I'm often asked about is "should I confront my husband's mistress or the other woman?" There isn't always an easy to answer to this question, but it helps to take a look at what you're hoping to accomplish meeting her face to face. In the following article, I'll go over some of the common reasons that wives want to confront the other woman, and why most times, confronting her doesn't give you the answers or closure that you're hoping for. In fact, there is usually only one person who can provide this and it's not her. I'll explain this more below.
- Telling the Mistress's Husband - Should You?
[Relationships:Affairs] One of the most common emotions that follows finding out about an affair is the desire to transfer the hurt that you're feeling onto the person who is responsible for it. Although many wives will want revenge on (or are very angry at) their husbands, they'll most likely turn their attention the mistress. Often, in an attempt to hurt her, seek revenge, and to get her out of their lives, wives will ask me how to tell the mistress's husband about the affair. I understand this impulse completely. I used to follow the other woman around, but as I healed, I eventually tired of this and decided I was giving her much more credit and attention than she deserved. In the following article, I'll discuss this more fully.
- How to Love a Cheating Husband Again
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about rescuing your marriage after an affair. Women often tell me that although they really want to save their marriage, they aren't able to imagine that they would ever trust or love their husbands again.
- What is the Best Revenge on My Husband's Mistress?
[Relationships:Affairs] I've written several articles putting my experience after my husband's affair out there for all to read. I often get emails from women in the same situation. Many ask me how to best get revenge on the other woman and / or their husband. I understand these feelings because I felt them myself. I used to follow the other woman around, trying to get up the courage to approach her. Or, I'd plot awful ways to get back at her (which I never actually did carry out.) So, I do understand wanting her to feel every ounce of the pain and hurt that you feel right now. But, you may be surprised as to what is your best revenge. I'll explain more below.
- Who is to Blame When a Husband Cheats?
[Relationships:Affairs] I so commonly get emails from wives whose husband's have cheated. In these emails, I often get a whole laundry list of reasons that the affair was their (the wife's) fault. "I should have seen this coming," "I should have paid him more attention," "I shouldn't have let myself go," and "I shouldn't have blindly trusted her," are phrases that I hear a lot.
- Cheating Husbands Forum - This Might Not Be the Best Place If You Want to Save Your Marriage
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about surviving infidelity and sometimes get emails seeking advice. Recently, I received an email from a woman who was trying to work on her marriage following her husband's affair. She asked if I could steer her to a "good cheating husband forum." I told her that I didn't feel that this was the best use of her time - especially if she wanted to save her marriage. I'll tell you the reasons behind this in the following article.
- My Husband Said He Won't Cheat on Me Again - Will He?
[Relationships:Affairs] One of the most common themes from the emails that I get from wives is the concern that their husband is going to cheat again. It can feel very vulnerable to open yourself up again when you aren't sure if you've going to be betrayed somewhere down the road. Some of the comments that I get are: "how can I trust him when he's betrayed me once?" or "what if 'once a cheater always a cheater' is true?" or "I feel like the second I let my guard down, I'm going to catch him again." I understand these concerns as I felt them myself. And while there are always going to be husbands who are repeat cheaters, there are a great deal of husbands who are genuinely remorseful and would give anything to save their marriages and rebuild the trust, but have a hard time getting their wife's to believe their sincerity. I find that there are many signs and tip offs which indicate that a husband is trustworthy. I'll share them with you in the following article.
- Why an Affair is About More Than Sex
[Relationships:Affairs] I find, (from personal experience and from the emails that I get from readers), that of all of the things that a spouse could focus on when they find out or suspect that their partner is cheating, sex is almost always the thing that is focused on the most. Most people want to know what the sex was like, how it differed from intimacy with them, and if their spouse enjoyed it more. Wanting to know these things is understandable, but it's very important to realize that the answers to these questions really don't help you heal and will only paint a negative picture that's going to be very hard to get out of your head.
- How to Love Yourself After Your Husband Cheats
[Relationships:Affairs] I've had a lot of adversity in my life, but nothing hit me harder and hurt me more than finding out about my husband's affair. The self doubt, hit to your self esteem, and sense of betrayal is very difficult to overcome. It's not impossible though. I've seen many women take an affair and turn it into motivation to do some necessary and important work on themselves, which actually turns a huge negative into a positive.
- How to Heal From a Husband's Betrayal
[Relationships:Affairs] The list of the negative fall out from an affair is long. In addition to the hurt, shock, and lessening of self esteem, the feeling of being betrayed by the person who you should be able to trust most in the world can be the hardest blow. Working through an affair usually encompasses many difficult steps, but healing from a husband's betrayal is often the most difficult. Notice I said difficult. I did not say impossible.
- I Still Love My Cheating Husband
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about saving marriages after affairs or cheating. Sometimes women write me and insinuate that they have a confession or want to tell me something that they are ashamed of. Then, they'll say something like "I still love my husband even though he cheated or had an affair." They will say this as if they are confessing some awful deep, dark secret or that something is wrong with them for feeling this way.
- How to Heal When a Spouse Cheats
[Relationships:Affairs] I can think of very few things that were as painful and threw me for a loop as much as when I found out my husband had cheated. I've certainly had adversity in my life and have lived through some difficult times, but the betrayal, self doubt, and resentment that followed my husband's affair was very hard to overcome.
- What Are the Chances My Husband Will Cheat Again?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about my story of how I was able to salvage my marriage, my self worth, (and my sanity) after my husband's affair. I sometimes receive emails asking for advice. Lately, I've been getting a lot of questions like "what are the odds that my husband will have another affair?," or "what are the chances that he's going to cheat on me again?," or "is the phrase 'once a cheater always a cheater' true?" The answer to these questions are going to very much depend on the marriage and husband involved.
- Help Me Get Over My Husband's Cheating - These Tips and Advice May Help Wives
[Relationships:Affairs] Many people assume that an affair means the end of a marriage or that a husband who cheats should automatically be abandoned. The reality though is that this is not often the case. Many people will chose to try to save their marriages as many realize that it just doesn't make sense to throw away a life time of history or to break up a family because of one indiscretion.
- Can My Husband Still Love Me After He Cheated?
[Relationships:Affairs] Some of the more common emails that I get are from wives who are very confused about what happens in the aftermath of an affair. Often, a husband will insist that the affair and the other women meant nothing to him and that he still very much loves his wife and wants to make the marriage work. But, this is very confusing to the wife who will often ask me things like: "how in the world can he still love me after he paired up with someone else?" or "how much did he really love me when he went behind me back with her? He sure wasn't thinking about me then."
- Should I Talk to the Woman My Husband Had an Affair With?
[Relationships:Affairs] There are a lot of sticky and difficult issues in the aftermath of an affair and I sometimes get emails asking for advice on how to handle them. One of the more common is "should I confront the other woman?," or "should I meet with my husband's mistress?" These are loaded questions. It's understandable to want answers and to doubt that your husband is giving you the honest responses to all of them. It's common to want to know who this woman is, what's she like, and just what your husband sees in her.
- Should I Tell the Spouse of the Person My Husband Had an Affair With? - This Advice May Surprise You
[Relationships:Affairs] There are many unpleasant and painful issues that come up once you've found out about your husband's affair. It's often very unclear how to act, how to proceed, and how to process what is happening. I often receive a lot of questions about which steps to take to begin the healing.
- My Husband Still Works With the Woman He Had an Affair With
[Relationships:Affairs] I get a lot of emails from wives trying to heal themselves and their marriages after an affair. There are many common roadblocks or places where we tend to get "stuck" and unable to move on. One very common one that I'm seeing with a lot more frequency is a situation where both parties are wanting to save the marriage, but the husband still works with the woman that he had the affair with.
- Forgiving a Cheating Husband
[Relationships:Affairs] If you've found this article, you should know that I completely understand the emotional roller coaster that you're on. I know first hand how the rug can be pulled from underneath your feet. I know how you can alternate between wanting things to return to the way they were to wanting to escape all together. I know how the hurt, betrayal, and confusion can bombard your existence and cloud your judgment. But, I also know that I'm here today writing about my experience better off and stronger because of it.
- Forgiving an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I often share my story which includes eventually forgiving my husband's affair and choosing to save my marriage. I often get emails where people ask me how I found the strength, the willingness, the patience, and the skills to forgive my husband. The truth is, there is nothing special about me. I struggled long and hard, just like every one else. I had some very bad days and I often would take one step forward and several steps back.
- How to Make Your Marriage Work After Cheating
[Relationships:Affairs] Interestingly, I often get emails from both the spouses who cheated and the spouses who was cheated on. Both often want to know the same thing. They want to know "how to make a marriage work in the after math of cheating." There are important roles and tasks for both the spouses and these are often thwarted by fear, doubt, anger, and hurt. Both people often want to do the right thing, but the high emotions present often cloud what this really is. In the following article, I'll outline things that both spouses can do to help make the marriage work after cheating has compromised it.
- Do Men Have Regret After an Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] Some of the more common concerns that I hear from wives whose husbands cheated is whether the husbands are really sorry or whether they have any regret. It's common to think that he is only sorry because he's been caught. I'll address what I've learned about this issue from my research and will tell you some of the more common behaviors and signs that you will see when a man is truly sorry and regretful about an affair so that you can look for these things in your own husband.
- How to Heal a Marriage After Cheating
[Relationships:Affairs] In the past, I've shared my story of how I was able to heal after my husband's affair. I'm often contacted by people who want specifics on how I did it. I'm often asked for help in coming up with a plan to "fix the marriage after infidelity." My advice often differs slightly depending on the situation, but there are several things that I will recommend to almost every one -- no matter the circumstances and no matter whether the person is the spouse who cheated or is the spouse who was cheated on. I'll share those things with you in the following article, in the hope that something you read here will help you begin the path toward healing both yourself and your marriage.
- My Husband Cheated on Me - What Do I Do?
[Relationships:Affairs] A cheating spouse is one of the most difficult challenges a marriage can face. A cheating husband is often one of the worst betrayals imaginable to a woman. In the days and weeks following finding out about the cheating, emotions run high and determining how to best deal with this situation can be a heart breaking challenge. I often get emails from women with comments like: "my husband had an affair. I don't know what to do now or how to handle this.
- My Husband Cheated - How Do I Recover If I Want to Save the Marriage?
[Relationships:Affairs] If you've found this article, I have to suspect that you are dealing with the aftermath of an affair. You're likely experiencing a slew of difficult, conflicting, and painful emotions that can be extremely challenging to process and manage. It can sometimes feel that your life (or your marriage) can never fully rebound or that this nightmare is never going to end. Because I often write about my own struggles (and eventual recovery) from my husband's affair, I'm often asked questions like: "how in the world can I and my marriage recover from this affair?
- How Long Does it Take to Get Over Infidelity?
[Relationships:Affairs] Probably one of the most common questions regarding infidelity is "how long does it take to really and truly get over it?" It's so common to want to forgive and to want your old life and relationship back only to find that nagging doubts, feelings of betrayal, and the bombardment of hurt comes rushing back with a great deal of frequency. Worse, sometimes, you may even start to think that you're finally healing only to find that the old negative feelings come back at you out of the blue.
- How Long Does it Take to Get Over an Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] "How long does it take to finally get over an affair once and for all?" in the million dollar question in the world of infidelity. An affair can destroy intimacy and trust in the relationship and leave pain, betrayal and doubt in it's aftermath that is hard to get over. Even though the cheated on party may desperately want to get over the affair and has, in their heart, truly forgiven their spouse, often the little issues of resentment and distrust remain. It can be very difficult to get the images of your husband and the other woman out of your head. I can't tell you how many times I'm told something like, "I really do want to get over the affair, but I just can't seem to. I can't stop thinking about it and I find myself lashing out at him even though he's trying so hard to make things right. When will this finally be over?" The answer to this question will depend upon the circumstances. However the short answer is that you will really get over the affair once you get what you need to truly heal. I will discuss what these things are in this article.
- My Husband Cheated Emotionally - How Do I Trust Again?
[Relationships:Affairs] Almost any woman will tell you that an emotional affair is every bit as painful (if not more so) than a physical affair. Knowing that your husband confided in, understood, and trusted another woman with his heart rather than his body is every bit as devastating and healing from this can be just as difficult. But, you should know that emotional affairs are actually more common than physical ones. Well over 80% of men surveyed about affairs indicated that they cheated for emotional rather then physical reasons. Still, it can be very hard to recover from this betrayal. This article will offer you tips and advice on how to handle and eventually get over an emotional affair and how to restore the trust following it.
- Working it Out When Your Husband Cheated Emotionally
[Relationships:Affairs] I know many people (some of them are even counselors) who insist that an affair is an affair and that the particulars to it do not really matter. In others words, it's irrelevant whether the affair was physical, emotional, or even an online affair. People who have personally experienced any of these types of cheating though, know first hand that this just isn't true. No matter how you define it, an affair is a huge, painful betrayal just the same.
- How Do I Get Over My Husband Cheating on Me? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] Unfortunately, the people who read my articles or visit my blog are probably experiencing one of the most painful of all marital situations - an affair. I know how painful and devastating this is because I have been through it myself. And, I know that at times, it can feel like you will never be able to move on. Some of the most common comments I get are things like: "how can I really and truly get over this betrayal?;" "will I ever feel normal and at peace again?;" "why can't I get these images of my husband and this woman out of my mind?;" and "I want to move past this affair, but I just can't seem to do it. I can't seem to get past this anger." These are all normal responses. And, feeling this way is really no indication that you won't ultimately be able to move on. I believe there are a few universal things that a wive needs in order to truly heal and move forward. I will list and discuss these things in this article.
- How Do I Get Over Him Cheating?
[Relationships:Affairs] There's no question that there are many emotions and issues to deal with in the aftermath of an affair. This is a betrayal like no other and many women tell me that it's without a doubt the most painful thing that they've ever experienced. The shock, pain, guilt, and hit to your self esteem can be very hard to deal with, process, and overcome. One of the most common questions or comments that I'm asked are variations of "how can I get over his cheating?," "how do I move past this affair?," or "how do I survive this betrayal?" In truth, there is not one easy answer to this question.
- My Husband Cheated and He's Not Remorseful
[Relationships:Affairs] A common comment that I get from my articles or blog about affairs is something like "my husband is not even remorseful about his affair," or "my husband is not sorry about the cheating, but he's sorry that he got caught." There are a few reasons that a husband will appear, act, or feel (although this is less common) non remorseful about this betrayal. I'll discuss these reasons in this article and tell you how to best handle and deal with them.
- Self Esteem After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I know first hand (and from the extensive and exhaustive research I conducted after my husband's affair) that a wife's self esteem after her husband has cheated is a huge issue which must be overcome in order to heal yourself (and your marriage should you chose to) in the aftermath. But, what I didn't realize at the time (but do now) is that the person who cheated can also have very serious self esteem issues both before and after the affair that also need to be addressed. In the following article, I'll discuss how and why these self esteem issues come to light and how best to deal with them.
- Why Doesn't My Husband Want Me to Know the Details of His Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about healing after an affair, which, unfortunately I have personal experience with. I often hear from women who are frustrated because their husbands are not being forthcoming about all of the details concerning the affair and why it happened. I completely understand this as I was once in this place. However, I also hear from men and I have some insight as to why they choose to keep many of the details to themselves. I'll share these reasons with you in this article, as well as tell you how to best deal with this.
- Can a Marriage Survive After a Spouse Cheats?
[Relationships:Affairs] Probably one the most common questions that I get on my blog (and one that I asked myself after my husband cheated on me) was "can a marriage really survive after a spouse's cheating." My personal experience and research indicates that the answer is yes. But, in all fairness I have to disclose that it isn't always easy. It requires some difficult choices, conversations, and allowing yourself to trust when that same trust has been breached. However, the rewards can be great.
- Trusting After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] By definition, an affair is a serious breach of trust. Your partner promised to love, honor, and cherish you, and by cheating, they have seriously compromised these vows. But, marriages survive (and even thrive) after affairs every day. However, one issue in the way of this is restoring the trust. And, this is often a large, multi faceted issue. After all, your spouse has betrayed your trust and often tried to hide this fact from you.
- Is My Husband Over His Affair? Signs That Will Tell You Whether He is Or Not
[Relationships:Affairs] Many of the women who find my blog are wives who are dealing with the aftermath of their husband's affair. Many tell me that although their husband swears the affair is over and he is fully committed to saving the marriage, they are just not sure that this is really true. They aren't sure if their husband is really, completely and totally over the affair once and for all (this seems especially common with emotional affairs).
- Men's Feelings After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about surviving and thriving after a husband's affair based on research and my own personal experience. Most times, I'm contacted by women whose husband's have cheated, but I'm also contacted by remorseful husbands more often than you might think. Often, the husbands want advice on what they can do to help their wives heal and save the marriage. Many wives ask for insight on just how their husband's feel after the affair. Common questions are things like "is he really sorry, or is he only sorry he got caught?," or "I think he's just saying anything right now to get off the hook. I don't believe anything that comes out of his mouth," or "he says he still finds me attractive, but I don't believe him," or "he's just telling me what I want to hear." In this article, I'll tell you what men tell me about how they really feel after an affair.
- How Do I Get Over My Husband's Cheating?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about the story of how I eventually got over and survived my husband's affair. I also share many of my feelings on a blog. Wives sometimes contact me with their own stories and struggles. Almost always, the common theme in these emails is finally and truly getting over the cheating for good. It's very common that once the shock and feelings of betrayal and hopelessness begin to wane, many wives decide that it's just not worth throwing an entire marriage away over one act.
- Wives Who Have Survived Affairs - What Works For Them
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write articles about moving on and saving your marriage after an affair. Some of the more common questions that I am asked is "how can I survive this affair," or "is it really possible to totally get over the affair," or "will my marriage ever really heal after the cheating?" The answers to all of these questions can be positive ones. The outcome depends entirely on how you deal with the aftermath of the affair and how much help you elicit from your husband.
- Intimacy With Your Husband After the Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] Because of my personal experiences and the articles that I write about infidelity, I often get a wide range of questions about healing after an affair. One of the more common deals with intimacy and sex with a husband following his cheating. Often, I hear comments like "I'm just repulsed at the thought of him having sex with someone else," or "I just don't even want him to touch me," or "I want to be intimate again, but I just can't get over this," or "I can't get the images or him and the other woman out of my head when he's showing me affection."
- Will I Ever Get Over the Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] I suppose it's because I often share my experience of how I was able to move past my husband's affair that I receive emails from women who ask things like "can I ever really get over the affair," or "will I really be able to move past this cheating and save my marriage," or "it's been long enough now that I should be able to get over the affair, but I just can't seem to." I completely understand these feelings as I had them myself. And, because enough time has passed and I've heard so many similar stories, I know that there are often common issues that can keep a wife from being able to really heal and for all. I'll share these things will you in this article so that you can make sure you have everything you need to get over the affair for good.
- How to Get Your Husband to Leave the Other Woman
[Relationships:Affairs] There's no question that no matter what the circumstances are, an affair is devastating. But, it is even worse when the husband can not seem to tear himself away from the other woman or leave her alone. Very often women contact me and ask "how can I get my husband to leave his girlfriend," or "how can I get him away from her when he can't seem to leave her alone."
- Should I Give My Husband a Second Chance After His Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] I'm often contacted by women who are torn as to whether to give their husband's who have cheated a second chance in the marriage. Often, the wives don't want to break up their families or give up years of commitment and love over just one poor decision, but there is often more to the story than this. Many times, they are scared that they will open their hearts and be vulnerable again only to later find that their husband has cheated again.
- Advice If You Found Out Your Husband Was Having an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I still very vividly remember when I found out about my husband's affair. Saying I was devastated is not a strong enough description. I was completely floored, horribly betrayed, and I felt so lost. I could not fathom that I would ever feel any better, or that things could improve. Worse, I really had no one to talk to. When I did reach out to others, I received conflicting advice. Some told me to forgive my husband's affair is just "typical male behavior," while some demanded that I walk out the door even though my husband was doing everything in his power to save our marriage in the aftermath. In truth, none of these discussions made me feel any better. They just made me feel conflicted. I felt like a spineless pushover when I was around the friends who told me to dump him. And, I felt like an unforgiving fraud around those who told me to forgive him. So, in this article, I will offer you advice from someone who has been exactly where you are. I hope to offer the advice I wish I had gotten.
- Trusting Your Spouse After an Affair - Tips and Advice
[Relationships:Affairs] I know from experience, and by the amount of comments that I get on my blog, that one of the top issues facing married couples who are dealing with infidelity is how to get the trust back after the affair. Even if both parties are on board to try to save the marriage, issues of trust and intimacy can be a repeating roadblock. The pain of learning your spouse has cheated is devastating. And once you experience it, you never want it to happen again.
- I Can't Stop Thinking About My Husband's Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I've written many articles about surviving an affair based on my own person experience. I'm sometimes contacted by wives who are in a similar situation who want advice or support. One very common comment or request that I get goes something like "I just can't stop thinking about my husband's affair. I can't get the images out of my head. I want to move on, but these thoughts just won't go away." I can completely understand this. This is so common and completely normal. Most every one who goes through the aftermath of an affair experiences this in some form. But, if you are going to truly move on, whether you save the marriage or not, this continuous pattern has to stop. Because it truly does no good. It doesn't change anything. And, it's very painful and ensures that you stay stuck. In this article, I'll offer some tips and advice to help you get this repetitive loop out of your head so that you can start healing.
- Will I Ever Stop Resenting My Husband's Affair and Cheating?
[Relationships:Affairs] I am sometimes contacted by women whose husbands have cheated on them. They are frustrated and tell me that they really do want to save their marriages, still love their husbands, and want to reestablish trust. However, no matter what they do, they can't seem to get over their anger and resentment about the affair. I often hear things like "although my husband says and does all of the right things, I still resent him and his cheating.
- How to Fix a Marriage After Cheating
[Relationships:Affairs] I have a small blog on which I share how I was able to move past my husband's affair and salvage our marriage. Probably the most common comments and questions have to do with fixing, saving, or rescuing the marriage and the trust following infidelity and cheating. In my experience, it's more common than you might think that both parties want to remain married, but often neither is sure how to heal the pain and restore the trust and intimacy.
- How Do I Move on With My Spouse After an Affair? Advice and Tips to Help
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about and share my story of how I was able to move on and save my marriage after my husband's affair. Often, I'm contacted by people who are having trouble "getting over" the affair or really, completely, moving on. Sometimes, I am contacted by spouses who have cheated but who desperately want to make amends, move on, and save the marriage. Mostly though, I'm contacted by the spouse who was cheated on, and who is stuck and unable to go forward.
- How to Fix My Marriage After My Husband's Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about how I not only survived my husband's affair, but was able to save and improve our marriage. This wasn't easy and it took a lot of work on the part of both myself and my husband, but it was necessary and it was worth it. I would never want to repeat that period of pain and hurt, but it is now firmly in our past and our marriage is stable and fulfilling today. I have a blog where I share this story, and quite often, I have women who write me and ask "how can I fix my marriage after my husband's affair."
- If Married Men Love Their Wives, Why Do They Cheat?
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about getting past an affair in order to save your marriage and I have a blog where I share my own story of having to do the same. One of the most common comments or questions that I get is "how can men who love their wives cheat? Why do they do this? How can these things happen at the same time, because if he really loved me, he wouldn't have cheated." This is a somewhat loaded question, but in this article, I will offer up what I think are the answers because, in my experience, men who have had affairs absolutely can and often do still love their wives - they are just incredibly good at separating one thing from another and compartmentalizing - in a way that women often can not.
- Getting Over My Husband's Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I have a blog in which I share how I was able to get over and heal after my husband's affair. This strikes a chord in many of my readers, who are wives who have been cheated on by their husbands. One of the most frequent comments or questions that I get is something like "I really do want to save my marriage and get over the affair, but I just can't seem to do it, no matter how hard I try. I'm always worrying about it, remembering it , or reliving it." I completely understand this. And, I can tell you that it's completely normal behavior that is so very common. But, you really can eventually get past it. There are certain things that you are going to need from your husband and from yourself that will help to speed this process along. I'll explain each of them in this article. In the interim though, promise me that you will have patience with yourself and with your healing. An affair deals a tough blow. Healing doesn't happen overnight, but have faith that it will happen and it will.
- Do Men Really Still Love Their Wives After Having an Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] I have a blog where I share the story of how my marriage survived my husband's affair. Often, I'm contacted by skeptical women who want to know "do or can husbands still love their wives after an affair, or are they just saying that because they've been caught" or "how can he love me and still cheat, because these two things can't exist together." I've done a lot of research on this topic through my own experience and through counseling, and I do have husbands who have cheated contact me on how to save their marriages, so I believe that I have a firm understanding on why husbands cheat and how they can still love their wives after and during infidelity.
- How to Forgive After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I have a blog in which I discuss my struggles to heal after my husbands affair. Sometimes I'm contact by readers with request for advice. Probably one of the biggest questions or biggest concerns that I get is "how to forgive after an affair."
- Building Your Marriage After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I have a small blog / website wherein I share the story of how our marriage survived my husband's affair. Sometimes, people will email or share their own stories with me. Often, they ask questions or want advice. One of the most common is "how can I build up my marriage after an affair?" Most times, this question comes from wives whose husbands have cheated, but sometimes there are men whose wives have had an affair. And, there are times when the spouse who had the affair, deeply regrets it, wants to save the marriage desperately and is seeking advice on how they can do this. No matter which party contacts me, I often give similar advice. The tips that follow are the things that helped me rebuild my own marriage (as the spouse who was cheated on) and the things that I believe the spouse who cheated can do to help the injured party heal.
- Repairing Your Marriage After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] Most people who stop by my infidelity blog are women, but I go sometimes get a few men. And, often folks will email me, wanting to know "how to repair a marriage after an affair." Often, people truly want to save their marriages and move on, but they just don't know how to overcome feelings of betrayal, shock, and deep hurt and pain. It can be difficult to rebuild trust and intimacy after an affair, as the spouse who cheated will often hold back for fear of rejection, while the spouse who was cheated on will suffer self esteem issues and self doubt that will contribute to their wondering if their spouse really still loves and desires them. But, it is possible to move past these things.
- Can You Get Over an Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] I have a blog that recounts how I was able to get over my husband's affair to save my marriage. Often, I'm contacted by wives (and sometimes husbands too) which tell me things like "I wish I could be more like you. I just can not get over my husband's / wife's affair, no matter how hard I try." Or, "my husband says and does all of the right things, but I just can't get over his cheating, even though I really want to save our marriage." I often respond by telling these folks that there is truly nothing special about me. I struggled with getting over my husband's affair for a long time. There was no one "secret" that got me over the hump.
- How to Save Your Marriage After an Affair - Tips and Advice
[Relationships:Affairs] I have a blog which explains how my marriage was able to survive an affair, so I'm often contacted by people who want my advice on how they can do the same in their own marriages. Probably the most common question I get is "how can I save my marriage after an affair?" Many times, the folks who write me are women whose husbands have cheated. These women are often hurt and confused, but they still want to move on and save the marriage. Sometimes, the questions come from the spouse (mostly husbands) who have cheated, deeply regret it, and want advice on how to help their wives (and their marriages) heal.
- Fixing Your Marriage After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] A question that I often get on my blog is "how can I fix my marriage after an affair?" Sometimes, this question is from the spouse who has cheated, who deeply regrets it and who now wants to take action to fix the damage that their actions have caused. More often though, the request comes from a wife whose husband has cheated, but who now very much wants to move on and save the marriage, but isn't sure how. It's so common that, even if you have theoretically decided that you want to move forward, it's very difficult to do this because there are so many unresolved feelings of betrayal and devastation.
- My Husband Had an Affair Outside of Our Marriage
[Relationships:Affairs] Since I often write about affairs from a wife's point of view, I sometimes have women who contact me via my blog and ask for my advice of how to proceed once a husband has had an affair outside of their marriage. My advice generally depends upon the circumstances, but almost always after emailing for a while, I typically come to learn that most wives really want the same thing - they just want to heal - whether this means healing themselves and their self esteem and sense of trust or ultimately healing their marriages.
- I Just Found Out My Husband Cheated on Me
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about infidelity in marriage. One of the most common emails that I get is the one from the wife who has just found out that her husband has been unfaithful. I'm going to be paraphrasing here, but it usually goes something like this: "I just found out my husband has been cheating on me. I am beyond devastated. I can't stop shaking or thinking about it. I don't know what to do. I can't even face him right now. How could he do this to me?" I know exactly how you are feeling. I have gone through this. I remember the day I found out about my husband's affair very vividly. I remember how devastated I was.
- My Husband Cheated on Me and Won't Be Honest
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about surviving an affair in your marriage, so I sometimes get emails asking for my opinion or my help. The other day, I received one from a woman who stated that "my husband has cheated on me but he refuses to be honest about it." After a bit of prodding, I was able to determine that this wife only suspected her husband was cheating (with pretty good reason) but the husband was just continuing to adamantly deny that anything had happened.
- How to Move Past an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I am often approached by women who have had some time to process and heal after their husband's affair. Their husbands are usually genuinely sorry, want very much to stay in the marriage, and are trying to facilitate the healing. Everything seems to be in place, but so often, I still hear the same thing. "I want to get past this affair. I wish I could just turn it off like a light switch. I value you my marriage and want to move forward, but I just can not seem to be able to get past it." First, I have to tell you that this is absolutely normal. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.
- Does He Still Love Me After the Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] Since I often write about cheating and affairs within a marriage, women will often approach me and ask something like "how can I be sure or know that my husband really still loves me after an affair," or "he says he still loves me even after the affair, and I really want to believe him, but I just can't." These women often believe that, had their husbands not been caught, the affair would've continued, and the husbands are only professing their love now because they have no other choice. They want to know how in the world a person can love their wives and yet cheat on them at the same time.
- How to Get Over an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about surviving affairs (and restoring your marriage if that's what you want), and "how to get over an affair for good" is probably one of the most common questions that I am asked. It's so common that, even if the person who has been cheated on wants to forgive, move on, save the marriage or relationship, and put the affair behind them, it seems that there is always something lurking in the shadows that is going to remind you of the cheating and allow all of the feelings of hurt and betrayal to come crashing back.
- Why Husbands Cheat
[Relationships:Affairs] Since I often write about getting over affairs and saving your marriage despite one, I'm asked very often "why cheating happens" or "why husbands cheat on their wives." Although every couple's situation (and therefore the answer to this question) will be different and individual, there are universal reasons that men are unfaithful which I will discuss. My goal for this article is that you will see yourself in one of the examples, understand why the affair happened, and use this information to help save your marriage (if that is your goal) and to help you in the healing process.
- How to Build My Self Esteem After My Husband Cheated on Me
[Relationships:Affairs] Since I often write about healing after an affair, I am asked very often about how to restore or rebuild a wife's self esteem after infidelity. The truth is, even if and when a wife has forgiven her husband or wants to move on, the hit to her self esteem can keep this from happening. It can be hard to believe your husband genuinely loves / desires you and won't cheat again when you deep down don't believe this yourself as you might fear there is something wrong with you or that your husband had an affair because of something the mistress or other woman had that you didn't.
- How to Win Your Husband Back From Another Woman
[Relationships:Affairs] This article is written for women who either know or suspect that their husband is either having a physical or emotional affair. These wives will generally either know their husbands have a mistress or know that his heart or his head is with someone, or is somewhere else. No matter what the reality of the situation is, if your heart is telling you that something is wrong or off, it's always a good idea to be proactive. I wish I had, but instead, I waited until the affair had already happened and was long over until I took action. This was a huge mistake on my part. This article will provide you with insight on why husbands really cheat, what they typically see in someone outside of the marriage, and what you can do to win your husband back from another woman who is dead set on destroying all that you have worked so hard to build.
- Can a Marriage Survive an Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] In my experience, the answer to this question is yes. My husband had an affair several years ago and although I felt that my world and my marriage were destroyed at that time, the affair was actually eventually a wake up call which made our marriage better.
- How to Deal With My Husband's Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] If you're asking this question, I hope that I can help you. Several years ago, my husband had an affair and it shook my world to its core. The first months after I found out are really still a blur to me. I felt so betrayed, devastated, and completely shocked, as though someone pulled a ladder out from under me and left me struggling to hang on and dangle over head. It was such a difficult time. There were days when it was a struggle to even get out of bed.
- Trusting Again After Cheating
[Relationships:Affairs] Believe it or not, after the shock, grief, and pain of an affair or cheating begins to wane, deep down many people want to save the relationship. Often, there is still a lot of love, affection, and history left between you and it is difficult to throw all of that away over one bad choice.
- Can I Forgive an Affair?
[Relationships:Affairs] Since I very often share stories about surviving an affair (even emotional ones), I'm asked a lot of questions about healing, forgiveness, or moving on. Two of the most common questions I'm asked are variations on "can a marriage survive an affair," (the answer to this is yes) and "how can I really get past or forgive the affair." The spouse who has been cheated on will often tell me that although they really want to work things out, save the marriage, and move on, they are getting very caught up or stuck on the forgiving part.
- Can You Trust a Husband Who Has Been Unfaithful?
[Relationships:Affairs] When women ask me "can I trust a husband who has been unfaithful," I believe that they are really asking two different questions. What they really want to know is the answer to the questions: "will my husband cheat on me again if I trust him now?" and " does my husband deserve to have my trust back even if he's been unfaithful, but says he is sorry and it will never happen again?" In essence many wives want to save their marriages after a husband has cheated, but they get caught up on the trust issue.
- Healing a Marriage After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] I often share my story of how I healed my marriage after an affair. When I first found out about the affair, I was incredibly devastated and felt that there was never any way that I could see my husband, much less our marriage, in the same way again. I did not think that healing myself was even possible, but healing my marriage? No way. I couldn't even look my husband in the face for long periods on end.
- Getting Over an Affair to Save Your Marriage
[Relationships:Affairs] I often write about the complex issues involved in an affair and healing from it. I'm often approached by both husbands and wives who want to know how to "get over the affair to save or move on with the marriage." This can be a two part question. The person who has been cheated on wants to know how to move past the reoccurring feelings of hurt and betrayal so that they can begin to heal.
- How to Deal With Infidelity in a Marriage
[Relationships:Affairs] If you've found this article, I have to assume that you either strongly suspect or know for sure that your spouse has had an affair. I know from experience that in all likelihood you're experiencing a slew of overwhelming feelings (likely none of them positive) like betrayal, shock, severe hurt, and intense pain. You may also blame yourself, wonder how you could have been so naive, or blame your spouse entirely for his or her actions. Every single one of these questions and responses are perfectly natural and normal. You've been dealt a harsh blow and there is no right or wrong answer. The days following learning about an affair can go by in a daze or the blink of an eye and it's easy to feel overwhelmed or lost. This article will provide tips and prompts to help you deal with these feelings and sort out / deal with the affair.
- How to Get the Trust Back After an Affair
[Relationships:Affairs] If I had to pick one thing that doomed marriages after an affair, or kept a marriage from surviving after cheating, it would be that the couple were not able to rebuild the trust between them. Even if both parties have forgiven and have committed to moving on, the inability to really trust that the cheating will never happen again usually keeps one of them going all in and committing with a full and open heart.
- How to Get Over My Husband's Affair? I'll Tell You
[Relationships:Affairs] If you're Googling and researching phrases like "how to survive an affair," "how to forgive my husband's affair," "how to get past an affair," etc., then I can certainly identify and empathize with you and hope that I can help. My husband had an affair several years ago and at that time, I thought my world was ending and could not see past it for a long time. But, although I never would have believed it at the time, not only did I survive it, it actually made our marriage stronger.
- My Husband Had an Affair - How Do I Cope?
[Relationships:Affairs] Since I often write about surviving an affair or healing after being cheated on, I am often approached by women and asked how they can cope after they have learned about the affair. My heart really relates to these women because I know exactly how an affair can shake your world to the core. Not only are you dealing with the betrayal, shock, and emotional fall out because the person you trusted most in the world with your heart has taken that responsibility lightly, but it's highly likely your self esteem is shaken as much as your marriage. This article will discuss strategies to help you cope with your husband's affair.
- Want to Win Your Husband Back From His Mistress? Here's Some Tips to Make it Happen
[Relationships:Affairs] This article is written for women who know without a doubt that their husband has been cheating, actively has a mistress, but still wants him back or to save the marriage. To do that, of course, you'll need to get your husband away from the other woman without seeming desperate or giving your power away. This article will focus on the best ways to turn the tables on the mistress as well as what to do and what not to do to get your husband back. (I'm not going to discuss how your marriage can be stronger in the end if you use the affair as a wake up call to address the problems in it. If you are reading this article, I suspect you already know that.)
- Will My Husband Cheat Again?
[Relationships:Affairs] From my own experience and from a lot of research and counseling, I know first hand this is among the most common questions asked by wives whose husbands have cheated. There are many emotions that bring about this question. It takes a lot of personal work and introspection for a woman to plow through the pain and betrayal of the affair to put her heart and trust on the line again. This leaves her feeling vulnerable and afraid that, down the road, even after all of this hard work, emotional pain, and vulnerability, her husband will cheat again and her heart and trust will be shattered beyond repair.
- Cheating Questions - What You Probably Want to Ask Your Cheating Husband Or Boyfriend
[Relationships:Affairs] If you suspect or know that your husband or boyfriend has been cheating, I suspect there are several questions that you want answered. I know this because I was in your shoes and for a long time, I allowed these questions to eat me alive. In this article, I will go over very common questions wives / girlfriends of cheating husbands / boyfriends often want to know and explain why each question may or may not be important in saving the marriage or relationship. I am basing this information on my own experience and from extensive research and counseling I conducted when I was trying to heal myself and my marriage from the affair.
- My Husband Had an Affair But Says He Still Loves Me
[Relationships:Affairs] Even typing the title in this article brings back emotion in me. I know first hand that if you are reading this article, you probably feel a good bit of pain, confusion, frustration, and an overwhelmingly strong sense of betrayal. When your husband has an affair, you're whole world, and the life you thought you knew, can feel like it is falling apart. And, you wonder if you really knew your husband at all if he could do something like this and you could not know. When the same person who betrayed you in the worst possible way by cheating is then professing his love you for, and swearing that he still loves you, this can magnify the confusion and turmoil. This article is based on my own experience and research and will attempt to help you sort out the conflict and logic of your husband having an affair while still loving you.
- How to Forgive a Cheating Husband
[Relationships:Affairs] If you're found this article, I have no doubt of the pain that you are in right now. I personally know the shock, devastation, and wretched feelings of betrayal that come after you have learned that your husband is cheating. You feel like someone has punched you in the gut or pulled your legs out from under you. You alternate between not being able to believe it and being furious at the reality of it. You also fear that you are going to feel this way forever and will never be able to get over it and move on.
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