Author Alerts:
Get notified by email when new articles are written by Evelyn Roberts Brooks!
Evelyn Roberts Brooks
Victims of Narcissistic Abuse - Ways to Rebuild Your Self-Esteem
Relationships: Domestic Violence • Published: April 26, 2012
Before getting into ways you can rebuild your self-esteem, let's take a moment to describe the behavior of a narcissist for those who might not be clear about what the term means. An individual with narcissistic personality disorder goes through life with an overwhelming need to be validated all the time, and told they are wonderful, smarter than anyone else and are entitled to only the finest treatment by everyone.
How to Leave an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
Relationships • Published: April 25, 2012
If you are in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, you have probably been wrestling with the decision to go or stay for quite a while now, perhaps even for many years. It may feel impossible to leave, but let me assure you from personal experience, that not only can you leave, but you will be able to create a life for yourself that is simply wonderful and free of abuse.
Tips For Avoiding an Abusive Relationship
Relationships: Domestic Violence • Published: April 25, 2012
If you've got a history of being in abusive relationships, you may worry that you're destined to have pain for the rest of your life in one bad relationship after another. However, let me assure you that you can indeed change the results you are getting so that you avoid entering into another relationship that is unhealthy.
Controlling Behavior - Why It's a Form of Abuse
Self Improvement: Empowerment • Published: April 25, 2012
When someone in your life consistently treats you in a controlling way, and you do nothing to stop it, you become their partner in an abusive game where you are basically a doormat for them to trod on whenever they feel like it. Here are common types of controlling behavior that you may not have realized fall in the category of abuse.
Dealing With Psychological Abuse - How to Move on and Date Again
Relationships: Domestic Violence • Published: April 25, 2012
To help you spend your transition time wisely, and prepare to move on and begin dating healthier people this time, I've created a virtual "tool kit" for you to use. The components of this tool kit are these five items.
Four Ways to Be Happier - Empower Yourself to Soar
Self Improvement: Happiness • Published: December 30, 2010
You might be well established in your job or type of work, and yet still find it confusing to understand the pursuit of happiness. Others might have told you that you shouldn't worry about being happy, but just accept the reality of your life. And yet, if you are not feeling satisfied with the way you feel about things, it might be time to take a closer look at ways to nurture happiness within your current lifestyle.
How to Be Happy In Your Own Skin
Self Improvement: Happiness • Published: December 30, 2010
Any time we compare ourselves to others who have more of what we want, we set ourselves up to feel miserable and inadequate. That bad habit is the bane of most people with low self-esteem. They end up with a feeling of falling short of some lofty standard and yet usually that standard is unreasonable and out of reach.
Be Happier - Be the Star of Your Own Life
Self Improvement: Happiness • Published: December 30, 2010
Take a moment to imagine that you are an actor in a stage play, and you have been assigned a dressing room. A stage hand directs you to go to the third door on the left, but when you get there, you see a huge gold star on the door. Would you think that a mistake had been made? Or would you happily enter the room, claim it for your own and feel like you had found your true place in the production?
Use Tough Love to Get Your Kids Out of Their Comfort Zone
Home and Family: Parenting • Published: December 30, 2010
It's easy to get in a rut in life, comprised of going to work, doing chores, taking care of things on your list, socializing now and then, and collapsing into your favorite easy chair or couch to "relax." But what if it gets to be a bad habit, spending hours of each day doing nothing much while enjoying a comfort zone? And what if you can see that your grown kids have become all-too-comfortable with this lifestyle at home, and are not ambitious to lead their own lives?
Be Happier - Stay Hopeful and Positive
Self Improvement: Happiness • Published: December 30, 2010
In everything you do, you have the choice of whether to feel positive, neutral or negative about the outcome. Most of the time, you probably slip into such an attitude without giving it a lot of thought because you are following a lifelong pattern that has become automated. Even if you believe that once we've chosen a task or goal, we should focus on doing our best work and not worry about the results turning out in a specific way, it can be hard not to imagine how things will turn out.
Eliminate Clutter - Make Room for the New Things You Want to Attract
Self Improvement: Attraction • Published: December 30, 2010
To make room for all the wonderful things you wish to attract to you and manifest in your life today, it is necessary to first prepare the groundwork, the same way you would lay a foundation before building a new home. Spend some time getting rid of clutter and you will feel less stressed by the unorganized piles of stuff, at the same time as you clear important space for your wishes to manifest.
Three Steps to Freedom When You Are Stuck in Fear
Self Improvement: Empowerment • Published: December 30, 2010
A huge component of stress and feeling like you can't move forward in life is the emotion of fear. You are tense all the time, anticipating bad things just around the bend. Your thoughts may be so crowded with worry and anxiety that it feels nothing will ever be good and decent in your life, ever again. If you have reached the point of being trapped in fear, you may benefit by empowering yourself to take steps to emotional and mental freedom.
How to Use Persistence to Remain Unsinkable
Self Improvement: Personal Growth • Published: December 30, 2010
No matter what your goals are, there will be times when you feel stressed out by failure and setbacks, and you might want to give up and choose something easier or less challenging. This happens to all of us, so don't take it personally. (If you do that, you doom yourself to a negative reaction that sours all your hopes and dreams.)
The Healthy Way to Multi-Task Instead of Scattering Your Energy
Self Improvement: Stress Management • Published: December 30, 2010
Too often, we pile on more work day after day, accepting new projects (because who else will do it if you don't), adding more to your To Do list and trying desperately to keep everything running smoothly. If you are in business for yourself or working more than one job to make ends meet, you know what the result of all this multi-tasking is: STRESS!
Heal Your Wounded Love Relationship by Being Vulnerable
Relationships: Communication • Published: December 29, 2010
What does "being vulnerable" mean to you? Maybe you feel that you need to be less vulnerable in your relationship in order to avoid being hurt. But the healthy type of vulnerability does not mean you put your neck on the chopping block. Instead, it is an approach that involves lowering your ego-protecting defenses so the other person can actually get to know the real you.
Stress Relief for Perfectionists
Self Improvement: Stress Management • Published: December 29, 2010
If you have a habit of trying to make everything in your life perfect, and controlling all the results of your projects and relationships, you probably have a stress level that is off the chart, and you might not even realize how harmful that stress is because you are so used to pushing yourself past the pain threshold. You may have been cramming your work schedule so you could take some time off for a holiday or special occasion, but then - to be sure the holiday turns out perfect, of course - you end up taking care of all the shopping and preparation yourself, overloading your calendar with things that you feel you absolutely must take care of or else disaster will ensue, and cutting into your sleep time to get everything done. It does not occur to you to cut the list short.
How to Reduce Your Stress If You Are a People-Pleaser
Self Improvement: Stress Management • Published: December 29, 2010
Following are techniques to combat the people-pleaser the tendency because it keeps you stressed out. It is not a healthy interaction in relationships because it leads to resentments when the other person simply takes and takes and takes, and expects you to keep on giving endlessly, the way you have taught them to expect.
Four Ways to Use Relaxation to Cope With Tension and Stress
Self Improvement: Stress Management • Published: December 29, 2010
Tied up in knots? Stressed to the max? Ready to scream with frustration? If these questions all get a resounding "yes" from you, then you had better do something to relax and unwind today before your body takes the choice away from you and collapses from the strain its under. Your body and mind need a break from the relentless stress of your life, whether you are running a business or running a home... or both.
Stress Relief for Busy People Who Are Exhausted and Overworked
Self Improvement: Stress Management • Published: December 29, 2010
If you are motivated to do something about your stress level because it's skyrocketing and you know you need to reduce it, take a moment to consider whether you glide through life like a swan or swim frantically? Do you leap for joy, celebrating life like a ballet dancer, or do you trudge with your head down, concentrating on your problems and worries?
Reduce Your Stress Load by Learning Patience
Self Improvement: Stress Management • Published: December 29, 2010
It takes time for apple blossoms to turn into apples. And it takes time for puppies to grow into dogs. But it seems like everything else in life is fair game when it comes to trying to hurry it up. Are you impatient? Do you expect to get instant results with everything you do, and in your relationships? If so, you are needlessly, and probably heedlessly, producing a lot of stress, not only for yourself but those around you.
Ways to Handle Your Anger in a Healthy Way and Reduce Your Stress Load
Self Improvement: Anger Management • Published: December 29, 2010
At the heart of a stressful relationship you will often find a mountain of anger that has not been resolved. If you are tired of feeling overwrought and anxious all the time, take a look at whether you need to change direction in any area of your life in order to be happy and stress-free.
Why You Should Handle Your Anger - Reduce Your Stress Load
Self Improvement: Anger Management • Published: December 29, 2010
In a relationship with codependent tendencies, one or both partners gets angry when they shouldn't and doesn't get angry when they should. That's the people-pleaser. The other person, the one who is more overtly controlling, feels free to be angry all the time. Let's talk about the people-pleaser, because in general that is the partner who seeks help for what is wrong and is willing to work for change.
Learn to Relieve Your Stress With Positive Affirmations
Self Improvement: Affirmations • Published: December 29, 2010
For many people, it comes as a complete and utter shock to realize what an enemy they are to themselves with all the negative self-talk and messages of unhappiness. However, since you are the one giving yourself these negative messages, guess what the good news is? That's right, it means that you can reverse those messages, and over time, you will see remarkable results from your new positive self-image.
Setting Boundaries - More Techniques for a Healthier Identity
Self Improvement: Personal Growth • Published: December 29, 2010
When you have strong, healthy boundaries, it means that you are centered in yourself and your own identity rather than nervously trying to please others by changing as swiftly as a chameleon to try to match what you think they want you to be. The person with weak boundaries is exhausted from all the effort to anticipate other people's needs and demands, and try to conform to those wishes. Weak boundaries can be equated with a poor sense of self, and the stress of being untrue to your own needs and goals.
How to Prevent Bad Moods From Going Viral in a Stressful Relationship
Self Improvement: Stress Management • Published: December 29, 2010
If you are sensitive to the people around you, it can be really stressful when someone else is in a bad mood. Your antenna perk up as you try to deduce whether they're angry at something you've said or done, or just mad at the world. You might even walk cautiously around them for the rest of the day, or until you see a grudging smile.
