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Elaine Sihera - EzineArticles.com Expert Author   RSS

ELAINE SIHERA, nicknamed Ms CYPRAH or Cyber-Oprah by friends, is a top British writer for Helium, NewsVine and Ezine.com. A former magazine editor and diversity consultant, she is the prolific author of six books and over 800 articles on emotional health, self-empowerment and diversity management. She is also an Internet agony aunt and freelance broadcaster and columnist as well as the Change Expert for FiftyForward.com, being a very keen advocate of changing perceptions on ... [More]

[View Elaine Sihera's Extended Author Bio]

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  • Resisting Rumours In Relationships
    [Relationships] How should one treat negative rumors about one's partner? Depends on the degree of trust and love in the relationship.


  • Life Altering Decisions - Should I Go Back To College?
    [Self-Improvement] It is always difficult reviewing one's progress and feeling inadequate because of perceived failure. But every part of our past has helped to bring us to our present and should not be regretted.


  • The Real Causes Of Racism
    [News-and-Society] Racism is not superficial behaviour reacting to context. It goes very deep in the psyche due to four main causes that are explained here.


  • Is Barack Obama's Presidential Grassroots Campaign Hype Or Sincere?
    [News-and-Society:Politics] Barack Obama is trying a new approach, appealing directly to the people and actually succeeding.


  • Are People Inherently Good?
    [News-and-Society] People are inherently good but something crucial tends to change them along the way.


  • If I Could Change The World
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] The two things I would used to change the world for the better.


  • The Power of Perception in Relationships
    [Relationships] Personal perception carries the most power in a relationship because it actually dictates how the relationship will progress, according to how each party views the other, their intentions and their actions.


  • The Most Powerful Forces That Affect Relationships
    [Relationships] There are three major hidden forces in relationships which affect the outcome of the interaction between couples, often operating without their awareness. They stem from the way we see the world and what we expect of others because of it.


  • The Power of Personal Perception
    [Business:Management] An interesting tale of the way perception affects how we treat others.


  • 4 Main Ways to Face Personal Challenges
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] There are 4 major ways we can boost our courage and face the hot spots in our lives. Armed with these tools, life won't seem so problematic.


  • 5 Key Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem and Personal Success
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] There are esseential ways to boost self-esteem, and keeping out of the past and facing your fears are two of them.


  • Why Happy People Are More Productive People
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] The main reasons why happy people are naturally more productive.


  • Do You Believe in Love at First Sight?
    [Relationships:Love] Any kind of love depends on our beliefs and love at first sight happens only when we believe in the possibility.


  • Should You go Gray Naturally or Dye Your Hair as You Age?
    [Health-and-Fitness:Anti-Aging] Reasons for dyeing your hair if it feels right.


  • Conflicting Gender Expectations in The Home
    [Relationships] The different ways men and women perceive themselves and their needs have been the biggest causes of conflict in the home and also set the scene for how couples actually relate to one another.


  • The True Effects of Negative Self Perception
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] How often do we spend our time comparing ourselves to people who are not remotely relevant to us in a futile way? Yet that is the worst thing we can do for our self-esteem, personal value and development.


  • Reflections - Early Personal Perceptions of England
    [News-and-Society] The power of perception to dictate what we actually see and the experience we have in our lives is illustrated by these personal reflections from my younger days.


  • The Formation of Stereotypes Through Perception
    [News-and-Society] We form stereotypes in a subtle way: mainly through the way we perceive the world, what we allow through our personal filters and what we choose to believe.


  • Why I Love Paul Potts and Lewis Hamilton
    [Arts-and-Entertainment:Movies-TV] Two unlikely heroes have emerged from the UK to leave a trail of feel-good feeling strewn across the country in the most unusual way, just what the country needed to give new hope to youngsters.


  • Will Paris Hilton Learn Her Lesson?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] Hilton seems to be starting the process of learning from her jail sentence by the first mature statement she has made. Perhaps there's hope for her yet!


  • Should I Drop Out of High School?
    [Business:Careers-Employment] Advice on how to drop-out of high school when one is not sure, and especially when staying on might be for the wrong reasons.


  • Does The Press Pick Presidents?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] The press does choose presidents because of their power in providing publicity and the oxygen of exposure which ensures its favourites are at the forefront.


  • Should You Quit Your Day Job to Blog?
    [Internet-and-Businesses-Online:Blogging] Only a fool would give up a day job to blog with the hope of making money, right? Well the author disagrees and cites her personal ambition to support it.


  • My Boyfriend's Addicted to Chatrooms
    [Internet-and-Businesses-Online:Social-Networking] Agony aunt advice regarding a boyfriend who is spending too much time in chatrooms.


  • What To Do When He Forgets An Anniversary?
    [Relationships:Anniversaries] Is someone right to be upset because their husband forgets their 10th anniversary?


  • When The Ring Is Wrong
    [Relationships] Agony aunt advice - Romantic jewelery that doesn't quite suit the proposal. What to do in those circumstances.


  • Should Gays And Lesbians Be Allowed Civil Unions But Not Marriage?
    [Relationships:Gay-Lesbian] There is a debate around gays and lesbians being allowed to marry. Is that suitable for their situation?


  • Closure at the End of a Relationship
    [Relationships] Agony aunt advice- It is always very hard to end a relationship but it needs to have firm closure if those involved are to move on.


  • Teens or Parents- Who Should Pay For Car Insurance?
    [Automotive] Easy answer, really- If teens are responsible enough to drive they need to maintain that responsibility with the insurance.


  • How Young People Separate Love and Sex
    [Relationships:Dating] Agony aunt advice- Young people seem to demarcate sex from love as though they are two separate entities. Yet is the sex life isn't managed properly it could damage the opportunities for love.


  • Has Society Got its Priorities Confused?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] People are fretting about the change in values, standards and behavior among the affluent young, but that is all par for the course when you have so much change.


  • Long-Distance Love - Can It Work?
    [Relationships] Many people have struggled with long distance relationships because of the promise they carry of being able to settle in one place one day, but there are downsides to them.


  • Why Can't African-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, etc, Just be Called Americans?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] This question is a very tricky one, because it seems such a simple thing to adopt a different label in the interest of unity... but it certainly isn't.


  • Should There be Limits on Contributions to Political Campaigns by Individuals?
    [News-and-Society:Politics] Many people would like to give to campaigns as much as possible, but there is always a reason why they would want to part with big money and it is not always in the interest of the elected party.


  • My Husband is Very Lazy - What Do I Do?
    [Relationships] It is always difficult when one party in the family works hard and the other seemingly does nothing and take advantage yet still expect to share the home. There is one way to change this situation.


  • Teens - Parental Interference vs Parenting
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] The teenage years are fraught with difficulty mainly because they are a time of transition when much is happening to both teenager and parent - a time which is often difficult to understand and carries dire consequences in many cases.


  • Should Parents be Held Responsible for Their Minors' Criminal Behavior?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] Sometimes parents get a hard time for the behaviour of their children, but there are solid reasons why this is not an unfair attitude to many parents. They have to take some responsibility.


  • Why Should Graduates Lose Out Because of Unruly Parents?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] Imagine working a long time for something then being deprived of it at the end because of something beyond your control. Where is the fairness in that? You would be right to be angry!


  • Are Men Really Necessary?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] We hear this question being asked sometimes but, regardless of how independent women become, men will be a necessary part of that equation.


  • Should the Wishes of the Family Take Precedence Over the Patient's Right to Relieve Their Suffering?
    [Health-and-Fitness] To stand by and watch a parent suffer, who seems to have little chance of improvement in the future, is quite heartrending. However, if their express wish is to be allowed to die in such an instance, their wish should be paramount.


  • Is Chivalry Dead?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] Chivalry is a debatable concept in our age of growing independence, but perhaps the term has simply changed in meaning regarding chivalrous actions, and is not quite dead, as many people believe.


  • Are Children More at Risk Than Now Through Parent Pressure?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] The recent murder of children by their fathers in our high pressure world should be real cause for concern because of the trends in the life we are leading and the social values that are rapidly changing.


  • Is the British Royal Family Irrelevant?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] The British Royal family have not really kept up with the times, despite being a big tourist earner for Britain. However, should that be their main purpose when they cost so much to maintain?


  • Is Affirmative Action Fair?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] There has been a fierce debate for a while about the fairness of affirmative action but there is no argument to the millions whose lives it has changed for the better amid the pervasive racism in America.


  • The Most Crucial Ingredient of a Good Conversation
    [Relationships:Communication] Often we try to have a simple conversation which turns out to be less than enjoyable. It could be because the most basic ingredient for success in any conversation is mssing.


  • With Paris In Jail - A Look At Celebrity Worship
    [Arts-and-Entertainment:Movies-TV] Are people really worshiping at the altar of celebrities now than they used to do before? What was it like or ans o older generations?


  • Do You Always Say "Yes" When You Really Want to Say "No"?
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Often we say 'yes' when we really meant to say 'no', yet seem unable to behave any differently. There are reasons for that conflicting behaviour.


  • The Biggest Barrier to People Finding Soulmates and Real Love
    [Relationships:Love] The main thing which prevents many people from finding the soulmate of their choice or starting a new relationship and, in effect, robbing them of a life.


  • Can Men and Women Be "Just Friends"?
    [Relationships:Friendship] Many people believe that a man and a woman can be platonic friends. It is possible but not at the very beginning for one main reason.


  • Are Virtual Relationships Taking Precedence Over Real Life Relationships?
    [Internet-and-Businesses-Online:Social-Media] Many people are now spending far more time building virtual relationships than real-life ones. Is that the way of the future?


  • Does True Love Last Forever?
    [Relationships:Love] We are all capable of loving the same person passionately forever. So why don't more relationships last the course? Often it is a simple need for change in line with our development.


  • Is There a Difference Between Love and Lust?
    [Relationships:Love] People like to demarcate between love and lust but they are actually two sides of the same coin. I like to say that my ex and I fell into lust. We could not keep our hands off each other and even three months before I left the relationship (which lasted nearly 35 years), we would just look at each other and want to hit the sack - and that's in our 50s!


  • Do You Read Your Husband's Emails?
    [Relationships] Are you the type who thinks nothing of searching your partner's things or reading their emails? Is there a reason for that and what is the message that is sending?


  • You Can Forgive Infidelity - But Can You Ever Forget it?
    [Relationships] Infdelity always casues so much pain and hurt. Can we ever be free of its memory?


  • Should You Have Sex on the First Date?
    [Relationships:Dating] Is sex right on a first date? There's no question of right or wrong in these cases. That's a value judgment which reflects society's double standards on sex, particularly with regard to women. It also does not take into account the gender differences in approach to sex which often dictates the situation.


  • Should Cheating Husbands Be Forgiven?
    [Relationships:Affairs] Forgiveness is essential in human interaction. We cannot condemn someone for one action in his whole lifetime. But, for a relationship, the act of forgiveness means far more than just excusing the behaviour for that moment, and should not be repeated too often for the same situation.


  • 5 Essential Tools to Boost Personal Confidence and Popularity
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] There are many ways to boost self-confidence but these 5 methods are very important to start the process and change your perception of your value and worth.


  • Empowerment Through Evaluation and Self-Appreciation
    [Self-Improvement:Empowerment] Learn to assess yourself objectively. Challenge your own assumptions. Doing so allows you to avoid the constant turmoil which comes from relying exclusively on the opinions of others. Instead, you should use others to test, question or confirm your own assessment an you will not be far wrong.


  • To Bag That Gal or Guy - Lose that Self-Consciousness
    [Relationships:Dating] Being overly conscious of what others will say or notice about us undermines the way we regard ourselves as we are constantly seeking their approval. Learn how to keep negative attention at bay by downgrading the importance you put on what is said about you, or falsely attributed to you.


  • 3 Keys to Guaranteed Self-Growth
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] No matter what you do with your life, the three factors listed here are guaranteed to develop your potential and establish who you are more than any other.


  • The True Power of Being Yourself
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] In a world where we are often ruled by the cult of celebrity and the expectation to conform to fashions and trends of the moment, it is very easy to lose sight of who you are and what you stand for while seeking approval. But there is no greater power and confidence than being your unique self.


  • Is it Right to use Corporal Punishment to Discipline Children?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] I originated from a society in which spanking was part and parcel of rearing a child. Parents smacked first and asked questions later which could often have dire consequences.


  • Do Opposites Attract in Relationships?
    [Relationships] We like to think that opposites attract. However, something else keeps couples together and it's not their differences.


  • Should Race Be Considered For College Admissions?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] There are strong feelings around the issue of race being taken into account in college admissions, but colleges are a part of the wider society and race is pervasive in that society. Can colleges evade the issue?


  • The Power of Desires Over Our Lives
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Do we really have a choice other than to continually chase what we yearn for?


  • Should Public School Children Wear Uniforms?
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] There is a lot of argument about forcing children to wear uniforms but what are the merits?


  • 10 things I Hate About the World we Live In
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] 10 things which sadden me daily about our world but which are avoidable.


  • What is Wrong With This World?
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] Is there anything wrong with our world? Or is it how we individually see the world?


  • Why Setting a Timetable for Troop Withdrawal From Iraq a Big Mistake
    [News-and-Society:Politics] Why America or the UK cannot contemplate pulling out of Iraq now.


  • The Main Reasons we Have to Make Decisions
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Why do we make decisions? Can we really avoid making them? Why are they so important to our lives?


  • Tell-Tale Signs of Perfectionists
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Perfectionists are easily identified in the way they approach people and their tasks. A few signs of a desire for perfectionism are explored here.


  • The Origins of Perfectionism
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Where does this desire to be perfect, or behave perfectly, comes from? It seems a long way back to places we are not even aware of.


  • The Sad Effects of the Search for Perfection
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] In our daily lives we strive to be perfect in everything we do. But what happens when we reach perfection? We stagnate and stop growing. Hence why we well never reach the perfect state - or perfection in our actions - that we desire or crave.


  • The Power of Thinking Positively and Appreciating YOU
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] The main thing about us which will ensure the greatest quality of life are our thoughts, how we think and what we actually think about because everything is brought into being by us, not by anyone else.


  • 10 Lethal Confidence Killers
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Nothing is more powerful in influencing our behaviour and perception than simple thought processes relating to ourselves. But allowing our lives to be dominated by negative thoughts is the biggest killer of self-acceptance.


  • Unexpected Consequences of Perfection in Actions
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Many people let themselves down with an incessant desire to be perfect or to live in a perfectly controlled world where everything goes as they expect. Of course, when it does not happen, which is likely to be frequently, they feel even worse, blame themselves, and the whole cycle of anxiety starts all over again. In this way, their confidence never gets beyond a certain level because they keep themselves in such a straitjacket of perfection, they seldom get the chance to live up to teir own expectations and thus repeatedly lower their worth.


  • Why Modern Man is Getting Scared of Modern Woman
    [Relationships] Not too long in the distant past, courting was very simple. Man was the king. He might not have been entirely skilled in how to woo a woman, but he certainly knew how to win one. However, things have certainly taken a different turn now. Is that good or bad?


  • Are Dating Tips for Seniors an Insult to Seniors?
    [Health-and-Fitness:Anti-Aging] There are lots of advice around dating, especially for people who are older seeming to imply their need for companionship comes in a different form. Should we be ignoring such advice?


  • The Impact on Relationships of the Need to Belong
    [Relationships] There's a strong need to belong in everyone. That's how we shape our identity and believe we are valued. However, this pressing need reflects itself differently in the genders within relationships, behavior which is often misinterpreted by each partner.


  • Impossible Standards - The Hallmark of Low Confidence
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] People lacking in confidence tend to avoid taking risks because they are plagued by perfection. They constantly worry about the reactions of others and do not expect to be successful. They also need constant feedback about their capabilities and so depend excessively on external approval in order to feel good or to make a move.


  • The Hidden Key to the Greatest Quality of Life
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] What is the one thing which is guaranteed to improve the quality of our life and achievements? It is much simpler than we realize.


  • 8 Obstacles that Prevent Personal Success
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] What are the important obstacles that rob us of success and keep us on the lowest rung of the ladder? There are eight distinct factors which affect us on a routine basis, often without our awareness.


  • What Kind of Parent are You? Your Style MAKES Your Child!
    [Home-and-Family:Parenting] There are various kinds of parenting styles but they are all driven by four key ways of managing children, that parents are not even aware they subscribe to, yet can have real consequences in adult life for many children on the receiving end.


  • The PEP Removal Strategy for the Family When Moving House
    [Home-and-Family] How can families be helped, especially, children to cope with moving home? This little strategy is likely to be of value.


  • What You MUST Have to be a Millionaire
    [Finance:Wealth-Building] There are all kinds of advice around about making big money, but these are the definitive attributes to be successful because they are the common traits, found in various combinations, in the top achievers of our world.


  • The Importance of Confidence in Relationships
    [Relationships] In another article (The Hidden Factor That Seals The Fate of Your Relationship The Day You Both Meet) I concluded that the fate of any relationship is actually sealed from the very first day the two parties meet and I would like to explain that surprising statement.


  • The Influence of Education and Social Background on Personal Confidence
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] We are more influenced by our background and the education we have than many people even begin to realise and the confidence we have is a direct result of those twin influences.


  • The Power of Parents in Providing Self-Confidence
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] The root of our behaviour can be found way back in time, especially when we were young. The most important cause being the attitude of our parents. This is crucial to feelings we develop about ourselves. That is why so many people who have negative relationships with their parents as youngsters tend to feel bad about their lives as adults.


  • The Hidden Factor That Seals The Fate of Relationships
    [Relationships] Very few people are aware that they virtually have the answer to how long their relationship will last from the day they begin that new partnership. The major factor which will decide the quality and length of the union is lurking around in the background, waiting patiently to do its worst as soon as it is triggered. What could it be?


  • Key Factors That Develop Self-Confidence
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Many parents tend to over-protect their children in their efforts to keep them safe from harm. But it is independence and learning to cope from an early age which builds initiative, resilience, strength and ability - the hallmark of future success.


  • Why Service Makes the Real Difference In Business Success
    [Business:Customer-Service] A salutory tale of the wisdom of giving the best professional service in any business.


  • Finding Personal Courage to Leave A Bad Relationship
    [Relationships] It is never easy trying to sever relationships, especially a very long one when you have no relatives to turn to and you lack the resources within you. That's the time when a close friend or new lover is invaluable.


  • The Single Guaranteed Way to Have Change in a Relationship
    [Relationships] So you're in a relationship which is getting stale and feeling really bad. You are not sure what to do to improve it or to get better results. Yet you're hurting daily. There is one sure fire way of changing your situation. It never fails. The key question is- Are you ready for it?


  • The Biggest Effects of Bad Relationships on Our Lives
    [Relationships] The real effects of bad relationships on all of us have not really been taken into account by society or employers. Everyone is expected to simply get on with it, no matter what pain or hurt they are suffering at home. Yet relationships either make or break us.


  • How To Recover from a Broken Heart
    [Relationships:Conflict] Broken hearts are not easy to deal with because they involve the ego and go right to the heart of unfulfilled desires and expectations. But it is important to mend it quickly and move on before the damage becomes permanent.


  • Understanding the Real Causes of Aging
    [Health-and-Fitness:Anti-Aging] Many people would be surprised by the real reasons for ageing, apart from just growing older in numbers, because they are so subtle, they are part of our natural routine.


  • The Essential Glue That Holds Relationships Together
    [Relationships] What do you think might be holding your relationship together? Do you feel strongly tied to your partner or increasingly detached without knowing why? There could be a simple reason for that.


  • Why Problem Relationships Rarely Recover
    [Relationships] There is an erroneous belief that once a relationship is breaking, or has lost its appeal, it can be mended. But very few relationships recover from that state because the glue that holds relationships together consists of attraction, communication and respect. Once those go, and they usually work in tandem, nothing will keep that couple in a positive groove. The relationship will effectively be a dead one walking!


  • The Effect of Agony Aunts on Current Relationships
    [Relationships] Agony aunts have always been useful in helping relationships survive but, increasingly, it seems many of them have been stuck in a time warp, doling out monocultural remedies to a multicultural audience, with too much old fashioned and oudated advice for a modern age. Advice which reflects their own individual fears and lack of understanding of a society in transition and greatly in need of new guidance.


  • Personal Perceptions of a Marriage Breakdown
    [Relationships:Marriage] My keen interest in relationships has been fueled by my own very long marriage within an environment of short relationships. Here I look back on a few of its important aspects which changed my perceptions.


  • Should Anyone Bother to Get Married?
    [Relationships:Wedding] Marriage is definitely on the decline and divorce has never been higher. So why are people still getting married? In view of the stark statistics, that should be the last thing any sane person would wish to do!


  • The 10 Hidden Forces in a Relationship
    [Relationships] The breakdown of relationships has historically been attributed to common observable, and even predictable, factors like money problems, physical and emotional abuse, extra-marital affairs, the effects of alcoholism, sexual incompatibility and a lack of communication and compromise between the parties, to name a few. Acres of pages have been devoted to their long-term effects, but I believe these aspects are more likely to be smokescreens or symptoms of other hidden forces which dictate emotional outcomes over time - the real hidden causes of failure in relationships. This being an invisible process, many couples are not even aware they ...


  • Why it is Difficult to Earn RESPECT
    [News-and-Society:Crime] A young man kills another because he felt he was 'disrespected' but respect is a word which is highly misunderstood. That could explain why many people believe they are denied it.


  • Why Paris Hilton's Sentence is the Right One
    [News-and-Society:Crime] Paris Hilton believes that she has been wrongly imprisoned as she did not understanned she was banned from driving. But was she placing herself above the law by ignoring the terms of her probation?


  • Birthday Thoughts - 59 - And Counting!
    [Health-and-Fitness:Anti-Aging] The joy of being a year older and feeling fabulous!


  • The Fear and Anxiety Around Marriage
    [Relationships] There aer lots of fears and anxieties around marriage which are encouraging many people to cohabit instead, many of which are irrational. However, they reflect the growing trend for individuality and self-realisation as well as a resistance to compromise.


  • Other Reasons for Marriages Being Under Threat
    [Relationships] There are other key reasons for marriages becoming increasingly unattractive not least the historical violent treatment of women within it and the perception that such a partnership mainly benefits the men whose lives remain virtually unchanged within it, compared to the new domestic responsibilities women acquire.


  • The Main Reason for the Decline in Marriages
    [Relationships] Our changing society has been the main reason behind the significant change in attitude to marriage with others. This has a lot to do with our ageing population and the changing priorities for our life.


  • Marriages Now in Dramatic Decline
    [Relationships] Marriage seems to be declining in both the Uk and America, especially in the last 35 years. Are long marriages now unrealistic ideals?


  • The Hidden Danger in Relationships
    [Relationships] What's the hidden danger awaiting many new relationships? The joy of children on the scene which alters the dynamics forever, and often for the worse.


  • The Biggest Reason For Not Finding a Soulmate
    [Relationships:Dating] What is the main reason keeping single people from getting connected to each other? It is something much simpler than we think which is wreaking havoc.


  • Why Alec Baldwin's Tape Should Never Have Been Made Public
    [Relationships] What is the real consequence of Alec Baldwin's tape being leaked? If that was really taken into account, the tape would never have been leaked.


  • Do We Divorce Because We Married the 'Wrong' People?
    [Relationships] How often have we heard people breaking up because they have gradually discovered that they are with the 'wrong' partner or they chose the wrong person for a soulmate. But is that a correct assumption? Do we really make the wrong choices in our lives?


  • Implications of Adult Emotional Evolution for Relationships (2)
    [Relationships] The intense focus on the behaviour of celebrities highlights a major implication for individual evolution - they're never allowed to forget anything. This can have a depressing and exposed effect on their perception of themself. Being able to put the past behind them and allow for natural development to the next stage of their life is essential for well rounded growth and a feeling of stability and personal acceptance. In the absence of that, there is much emotional insecurity, guilt, anxiety and mistrust.


  • Implications of Adult Emotional Evolution for Relationships (1)
    [Relationships] There is an invisible force within every relationship which is seldom taken into account by the parties but which is often responsible for many break-ups: emotional evolution. We are always on a journey and over that journey we develop entirely into someone else within a few years, a process that would have great impact on both our partner and the relationship itself without anyone even being aware of it!


  • Adult Evolution - Staging Post 6 – Stocktaking and Closure (66 Years Old and Beyond)
    [Relationships] The cycle of life comes full circle with this last segment of our existence. The age when we look back on our life, either with pride, regret or cynicism, while we try to come to grips with the greatest fearful mystery known to us - death.


  • Staging Post 5- A Time of Accomplishment
    [Relationships] One of the best times of life, when decisions are made based purely on personal desires without the need to seek approval. This time is not only about making one's mark and leaving a legacy but being proud of one's achievements.


  • Adult Evolution- Staging Post 5 - Age of Reflection (56-65 years old)
    [Relationships] This is a fascinating stage of life which forces many people to re-evaluate themselves on a positive note and simply accept where they are. Some might pre-occupy themselves with the past but for the majority of people, this is time to think about leaving a legacy.


  • Staging Post 4- A Crisis for Women
    [Womens-Interests] Women usually have it much better, but it can also be much worse, at this stage in their lives for a variety of reasons that are explored here. A testing yet liberating time for the older woman.


  • Staging Post 4 - From Competition to Nurturing
    [Relationships] Staging Post 4 is a time of facing facts and coming to terms with our real personalities. In the earlier stages of life, most of us fool ourselves that our behavior has been totally constructive while we have had to deal with the destructive actions of others. This period shows a balance in our behavior.


  • Adult Evolution- Staging Post 4 - Self-Definition (45-55 years old)
    [Relationships] This is an interesting time of life which most people fear because of the acknowledgment that they are no longer as young as they would wish to be. Many fears are unrealistic but as we dread difference and unfamiliarity, this can also be a turbulent time for those not quite sure how to deal with it.


  • The Mid-Life Crisis - Anxiety
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] Human evolution is conflict-driven to provide the crises from which each person can generate better beliefs and attitudes. If we never have crises there would be little change to challenge our existence and develop us gradually to realise our potential.


  • The Mid-Life Crisis - Transition
    [Relationships] This third staging post is extremely important because of its capacity to destroy relationships, being the much dreaded mid-life crisis point. It is a time when you don't know whether to blame your problems on your parents, your partner or your children, and it may come as early as the late-30s or even as late as the early-50s, but everyone seems to be affected in some way.


  • Key Posts in Adult Evolution - Stage 3 Time of Reckoning (36-45 Years Old)
    [Relationships] This is a very productive and energetic time but one marked by turmoil and anxiety as some disappointments in life begin to loom. This is often defining moment for many people which negatively affects the rest of their life.


  • Key Posts in Adult Evolution - Stage 2 The Age Of Choice (26-35 Years Old)
    [Relationships] This period in our life marks the beginning of stability, especially of making love and career choices that will affect our future progress and reinforce whom we would wish to be.


  • Unforgettable Moments From The Age of Self-Discovery
    [Arts-and-Entertainment:Music] Thinking back, Staging Post 1 in my life was very memorable but detached, as though it happened to another person. I remember being most introverted and shy then, yet desperately trying to be bold.


  • The Age of Experiment (16-25 Years Old)
    [Relationships] Staging Post 1 can be a very exciting yet demoralising time because, while there are lots of opportunities and challenges, it is also a time of learning and making costly mistakes; a time to experiment ad also get fingers burnt.


  • Key Posts in Adult Evolution - Stage 1 Self Discovery (16-25 Years Old)
    [Relationships] As a group, men and women tend to behave differently at various age points in their life and seem pretty consistent in anxieties and transitions on gender lines. The first stage is a ME one for the youngsters involved.


  • The Impact of Adult Evolution Stages on Relationships
    [Relationships] There are six crucial elements to the success of a relationship. However, the natural evolution we go through as adults often impact negatively on them so that having a successful relationship becomes an almost impossible feat.


  • Key Tips for Successfully Dealing with all 5 Stages of a Relationship
    [Relationships] A relationship between two strangers is no easy matter, hence the continual problems, hurt and negative experience of the parties involved. But we can all have the kind of relationships we seek if we observe some simple but essential actions in our treatment of loved ones.


  • The Need For Diverse Interests At The Alignment Stage
    [Relationships] Living in each other's pockets is not to be recommended at the alignment stage of a relationship. It is advisable to develop personal interests which gives time alone, yet with enough activities together to fulfill companionship needs. Often this is the time when outside interests and pressures of work kill relationships without couples being aware of the dangers.


  • FRIENDSHIP – the Key to Stage 4 ALIGNMENT
    [Relationships] True friendship is the hallmark of the alignment stage. By then, couples no only understand themselves, they also understand and appreciate each other, both socially and intimately, which makes them far more comfortable with living together.


  • Crucial Self - Changes in Stage 4 ALIGNMENT
    [Relationships] Looking to the self, and understanding the self, are part of the key aspects of alignment but this defining period in self growth is likely to make couples less tolerant of their partners behaviour and approach.


  • Stage 4 of a Relationship - ALIGNMENT
    [Relationships] After the tumultuous and rocky times of Stage 3, what happens next? Well, this happens to be one of the best times in a relationship but it is still not all plain sailing.


  • The Final Stage in a Relationship - REINFORCEMENT
    [Relationships] This is the best time of a relationship, couples valuing one another, nurturing each other and going forward together for the rest of their lives. However, a lot of shakey bridges would have been crossed to reach this calm and fulfilling stage, as the couple are acknowledged as a definite item and behave almost like twins.


  • Why Prince William and Kate Were Right to Split
    [News-and-Society] There has been mainly hostile reaction to the shock news of Prince William's split from his girlfriend. But that was a kneejerk reaction to the unexpected surprise. Time will prove that they did the right thing.


  • Do You Still Feel Bitter Over a Past Hurt or Rejection?
    [Womens-Interests] Are you carrying negative feelings in your head for someone because of how you have been treated? Lay it down today. There are very good reasons why long standing bitterness or revenge is not advised.


  • Is Your Fear Keeping You Single?
    [Relationships:Singles] Is your fear of another relationship robbing you of a life because of past hurt or rejection? That is not a good place to be for anyone because fear is a paralysing force. It keeps you trapped in your head while it robs you of empowerment and one other crucial thing!


  • Dating Tips for Shy Single People
    [Relationships:Singles] Are you the shy type who finds it hard to interact with others or leading a really fulfilling life, especially with attracting dates? Help is at hand with a few key tips!


  • Stage 3 - The Worst Part Of A Relationship - Disillusion (B)
    [Relationships] Relationships tend to go through some turbulent times at the beginning, which often encourage couples to break with each other. This is mainly due to the disillusion felt after the heady days of being besotted with one another. However, if they really understood what is going on, they can actually work through the storm and come out the other side, much wiser and with renewed love and respect for each other. Ignorance at this stage is certainly not bliss, otherwise couples are likely to be engulfed by the raging storm of getting used to one another.


  • Stage 3 - The Worst Part Of A Relationship - Familiarisation (A)
    [Relationships] Relationships tend to go through some turbulent times at the beginning, which often encourage couples to break with each other. However, if they really understood what is going on, they can actually work through the storm and come out the other side, much wiser and with renewed love and respect for each other. However, ignorance at this stage is certainly not bliss, otherwise couples are likely to be engulfed by the raging storm of getting used to one another.


  • The Real Way to Fight Racial Discrimination in the Workplace
    [Business:Workplace-Communication] In 2007 racial discrimination is still pervasive in the workplace but it takes a subtle form. It is not as open as it used to be because of the existence of laws to counteract such actions. But precisely because it has gone underground it is more difficult to fight and to effect because of its changing forms and psychological nature. But how do you tackle something which apparently doesn't still exist but is covertly thriving as ever before?


  • Stage 3 - After the Storm - Readiness For True Commitment (E)
    [Relationships:Commitment] Peace again, at last, after the turbulent times which engulfed the relationship. If you have come out on this positive side, you are likely to be much wiser, with renewed love and respect for each other. But, sadly, there might be some hurt which has lodged itself in the memory and could sabotage future connections between couples.


  • Stage 3 - The Worst Part of a Relationship - Power Struggle(D)
    [Relationships] Relationships tend to go through some turbulent times at the beginning, which often encourage couples to break with each other. But this stage is really about a power struggle for territory, space and rights, with the eventual 'victor' setting the tone for the union from then on, assuming the couple are still together!


  • STAGE 3 - The Worst Part of a Relationship - The War of Wills(C)
    [Relationships] Relationships tend to go through some turbulent times at the beginning, which often encourage couples to break with each other. But this tense conflicting phase is basically about a war of wills, where each party is struggling to control their situation in ways they are used to, but which they find are not working with someone else in the picture. However, if they really understood what is going on, they can actually work through the storm and come out the other side, much wiser and with renewed love and respect for each other.


  • Why Don Imus Was Right to be Sacked
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] A furore is raging around Don Imus, the talk show radio host for the racist offensive remarks he made about of Black women basketball players with many Black leaders demanding his sacking. In this case, and for three reasons, Imus should go.


  • Key Stages in a Relationship - Stage 2B
    [Relationships] The second stage in any relationship is always the most heady and carefree, a time when we are blind to our partner's faults and eccentricities with the primary aim being to merge as one. However, this is the likely stage for marrying in haste and repenting at leisure!


  • Key Stages in a Relationship - Stage 2A
    [Relationships] The second stage in any relationship is always the most heady and carefree, a time when we are blind to our partner's faults and eccentricities with the primary aim being to merge as one.


  • Hidden Stages in a Relationship (1)
    [Relationships] So you find your ideal partner and settle together, hopefully happy ever after. Not quite. Relationships have clear stages, but they are hidden and subtle. There are clear forces behind your behaviour than you might care to admit. Knowledge of them could alter your perspective and change the direction of where you're both heading.


  • The Most Important Thing About Relationships Couples Often Miss
    [Relationships] What should be the key focus in any relationship? Many people don't realise the key secret to making their relationship work because they are too busy putting themselves first!


  • Key Stages in a Relationship - Stage 1
    [Relationships] So you find your ideal partner and settle together, hopefully happy ever after. Not quite. Relationships have clear stages, but they are hidden and subtle. The first stage is the most important. Get it wrong and there is not a hope in hell of any relationship developing.


  • Hidden Stages in a Relationship (2)
    [Relationships] So you find your ideal partner and settle together, hopefully happy ever after. Not quite. Relationships have clear stages, but they are hidden and subtle. There are clear forces behind your behaviour than you might care to admit. Knowledge of them could alter your perspective and change the direction of where you're both heading.


  • 7 Ways to Ensure Greater Happiness
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Are you feeling frustrated in your search for happiness and contentment? Seven simple ways to find the happiness we seek and to actually maintain it consistently in our lives.


  • 3 Reasons Why Happiness is Elusive
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] We seek happiness every moment of our lives without realising that the lack of three essential things keeps us from finding it.


  • Why Valerie Bertinelli Is So Wrong
    [Womens-Interests] This celebrity gets a big break to be a true model for others. But instead of celebrating her assets, she immediately starts knocking the goose which laid her golden egg!


  • 12 Things Your Relationship Should Have to Succeed (2)
    [Relationships] Have you wondered why some of your relationships have not worked as you expected? It could have something to do with you compromising what you cherish and what matters most to you. Of course, once you compromise on your essential values, you are actually denying who you are and cannot possibly be happy. (Nos. 7-12)


  • 12 Things Your Relationship Should Have to Succeed (1)
    [Relationships] Have you wondered why some of your relationships have not worked as you expected? It could have something to do with you compromising what you cherish and what matters most to you. Of course, once you compromise on your essential values, you are actually denying who you are and cannot possibly be happy. (Nos. 1-6)


  • 4 Key Reasons Why Barack Obama Will Be The Next President
    [News-and-Society:Politics] Two months ago I was one of those who thought that Barack Obama would not be president, at least not this time round. I am happy to change my prediction in view of some compelling evidence.


  • The Real Value of Barack Obama's Presidential Bid
    [News-and-Society:Politics] Barack Obama is attracting a lot of attention in the American presidential race. But the attention from Black people like himself is of a different kind, representing far more than just his potential to create history.


  • Problems in Older Relationships 3- Absence of Sex
    [Relationships:Sexuality] The total absence of sex in a relationship, simply because the couple is older, can be quite frustrating, especially for one partner who is not ready for such a situation. How do you cope with such an imbalance?


  • Problems in Older Relationships 2 - Impotence
    [Relationships:Sexuality] Impotence is one of the most widespread problems in a relationship because it can be caused by anything stressful and debilitating. Yet many men pretend that they are not affected by it or that it isn't important. But in any relationship the condition of one partner is important to the other.


  • Problems in Older Relationships 1- Sexual Anxiety
    [Relationships] One of the biggest problems with older couples is anxiety. Many men are in denial about their changing bodies and expect to be on the same form as they used to be. When this isn't so, it sets up lots of anxieties.


  • FIVE Hidden Sexual Problems Between Couples (1)
    [Relationships] There are 5 hidden sexual problems in many relationships, the sort of things which people vainly try to hide or ignore, but which show themselves in continued unhappiness and low-self esteem.


  • Sexual Problems In Relationships (2B) - Differing Gender Approaches
    [Relationships] There are distinct differences in expectations of, and approaches to, sex between men and women which, in many instances, have been the main cause of problems between couples.


  • Sexual Problems In Relationships (2A) - Differing Gender Approaches
    [Relationships] There are distinct differences in expectations of, and approaches to, sex between men and women which, in many instances, have been the main cause of problems between couples.


  • Sexual Problems In Relationships (1) - Differing Gender Attitudes
    [Relationships] The different ways of perceiving sex, and the level of comfort the genders feel regarding it, have caused some of the biggest misunderstandings on dates and in relationships. Yet those differing attitudes not only define the genders but are perhaps necessary for their identity and sense of self. In short, perhaps they need such differences to retain their individual sexuality.


  • Why Sex When We Are Young is Often Disappointing (2)
    [Relationships:Sexuality] Young people are in an unenviable situation. They are at the peak of desire in wanting their mates, yet those relationships are fraught with potential disaster because of the demands of the learning process and the lack of experience.


  • Why Sex When We Are Young is Often Disappointing (1)
    [Relationships:Sexuality] Young people are in an unenviable situation. They are at the peak of desire in wanting their mates, yet those relationships are fraught with potential disaster because of the demands of the learning process and the lack of experience.


  • FIVE Hidden Sexual Problems Between Couples (2)
    [Relationships:Sexuality] There are 5 hidden problems which many people find hard to discuss or deal with but which have the potential to kill sexual activity and ultimately the romance in the relationship. Does any of them apply to you?


  • The Deadliest Hurt Within A Relationship (5)
    [Relationships] What is the worst thing that could happen between you and your spouse or partner? How could you prevent it occurring? If it did happen, how would you deal with it?


  • Big Hitters to Avoid in Your Relationship (4)
    [Relationships] When you are feeling low, who is the first person you talk to? If it is someone outside the home, it is a telling pointer to the state of your relationship at the moment. It is usually the beginning of an ever widening gap between the parties.


  • Big Hitters to Avoid in Your Relationship (3)
    [Relationships] If you are in a relationship, what are your in-laws like? Controlling parents can be a nightmare because they just cannot let go. Often they do not realise the basic lack of respect to their children when they try to impose their ideas and presence. But those young adults need to find their own way too. They need to make their own mistakes because that's what will mould their character and improve their experience.


  • Big Hitters to Avoid in Your Relationship (2)
    [Relationships] There are lots of destructive factors around relationships, but which of the key ones, the big hitters, are lurking in your space just now, waiting for their moment to strike? Being aware of what they are could start the necessary fightback to save your partnership.


  • Big Hitters to Avoid in Your Relationship (1)
    [Relationships] There are lots of destructive factors around relationships, but which of the key ones, the big hitters, are lurking in your space just now, waiting for their moment to strike? Being aware of what they are could start the necessary fightback to save your partnership.


  • 9 Tell-Tale Signs of Poor Communication in Relationships
    [Relationships:Communication] Do you find it easy to communicate in your relationship or does it follow a usual pattern which leaves both parties feeling frustrated and resentful? Does any of these common behaviour types apply to your partnership?


  • The Main Turn-Offs in Relationships
    [Relationships] How do you feel about the roles you have in your partnership? Do you believe the jobs are shared equally? Do you feel a sense of being taken for granted or taken advantage of? It could have something to do with the way you each perceive the roles you share and could affect the success of your partnership.


  • The Power of Expectations to Destroy Relationships
    [Relationships] Relationships are supposed to make you happy and to reinforce you as a valued person. But simple expectations have the the power to kill any relationship in its infancy. Spot the trends, if you can, in your relationship with these tips.


  • The Hallmark of Unhappy Couples
    [Relationships] Relationships are supposed to make you happy and to reinforce you as a valued person. If it is not doing that, it is failing in its main objective - enhanced joy and mutual happiness. What is your relationship like? Does it have more criticism and negative action than positive ones? Do you feel uplfited and significant within it? Spot the early signs of decline.


  • Finding Your Ideal Mate(7) - Myths About Internet Dating
    [Relationships:Dating] If you haven't yet tried Internet dating, it could be because of what you have heard about it. But this type of dating is not all negative and actually has some hidden surprises. Like anything else, the trick is to know how to use it and what you;re looking for. Here you can dispel a main myth about the service.


  • Finding Your Ideal Mate(6) - Increasing Your Opportunities For Attention
    [Relationships:Dating] How do you increase your opportunities for finding the potential lover and getting the attention you seek? By being in places you enjoy and meeting people there who are likely to share your interests. You not only increase your comfort levels but the more confident you feel is the more attractive you will appear. Some key tips are outlines here.


  • Finding Your Ideal Mate(5) - Know Yourself
    [Relationships:Dating] Many people would do anything to attract someone they like. But any form of presence and dishonesty which goes against our own beliefs and principles has a habit of knocking us sideways, and stopping the relationship in its track, when we least expect it.


  • Finding Your Ideal Mate(4) - The First Key Steps
    [Relationships:Dating] What do you seek in a soulmate? Do you really know? This is not a question to be ignored because it could spell the difference between lifelong happiness or lifelong regret! If you don't know what you want, how are you going to recognise it when you see it?


  • Finding Your Ideal Mate(3) - The Selection Plan
    [Relationships:Dating] How much do we actually think about our potential soulmate in a strategic and systematic way? Yet we do that for other aspects of our life. We don't take as many chances when buying a house or car as we do with finding a lover. Yet that's a lifetime decision.


  • Finding Your Ideal Mate(2)- The Simple Art of Good Conversation
    [Relationships:Dating] Men and women are becoming lost on the protocol of what makes the right behaviour in seeking a mate. Often the conversation involved is very one-sided, boring or stilted. Here is a key tip in communicating to make your advances stand out and get the attention you seek.


  • Finding Your Ideal Mate(1)- Key Things to Avoid
    [Relationships:Dating] Finding the right soulmate is often a lottery but, surprisingly, it is far less of a gamble when we stop to think of the part our thoughts, beliefs and actions play in sabotaging our search. What are yours like? Some simple but important things to note in searching for your soulmate.


  • Technology's Dramatic Effect on Relationships
    [Relationships] Technology is changing our lives, particularly our perspectives on relationships. However, while we are coming to terms with new dimensions in our personal life caused by technology, society is still back their in its approach trying to use outdated attitudes to cope with it!


  • Relationships - The Most Lethal Cause of Stress(2)
    [Relationships] A recent survey has revealed the 12 major causes of stress which go to the heart of our existence. However, not enough attention is given to the effects of break-ups and loneliness, which continually damage self-esteem and feelings of worth.


  • Relationships - The Most Lethal Cause of Stress(1)
    [Relationships] A recent survey has revealed the 12 major causes of stress which go to the heart of our existence. These are predictable but is enough attention and support being given to the most lethal cause of stress?


  • Beliefs That Harm Your Relationship (3)
    [Relationships] What is fair share in a relationship? It is difficult to assess because that notion is based entirely upon individual perception which seldom matches the reality of BOTH parties.


  • Beliefs That Harm Your Relationship (2)
    [Relationships] Sometimes we believe that love alone will change behaviour that irritates us in potential partners but it takes a genuine desire for self-change to get any difference in their actions. the best advice is to be supportive without too many expectations.


  • Beliefs That Harm Your Relationship (1)
    [Relationships] We tend to carry all sorts of beliefs into our relationships; beliefs handed down from our parents or designed to give us security and comfort. But how much do some limiting beliefs erode the quality of the union?


  • 7 Attributes of the Truly Confident Person
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] What really makes a confident person acts in the way they do? Are there essential traits which confident people have that others lack. It seems there are seven popular ones which all confident people enjoy.


  • Five Keys to Great Happiness
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Why does happiness elude many people? What do we need to make us truly happy?


  • 10 Consequences Of Our Modern World
    [News-and-Society] Things are changing gradually around us, often in a dramatic way too. Question is, how do we now deal with them to establish personal security and confidence in our lives?


  • The Fallacy of Not Hurting Anyone With an Affair
    [Relationships:Affairs] Many people embarking on an affair often express the desire not to hurt anyone, but is that hope contradictory in the face of the obvious betrayal?


  • Why No Affair is Ever a Mistake
    [Relationships:Affairs] Is there such a things as mistakes? And can we ever regard an affair as a mistake in our lives? That is to assume we had other choices at the moment of action. No, we didn't, though we had lots of other options! There's a very subtle difference in that.


  • 2 Key Ways to Reduce Your Stress
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] There is a lot of advice around regarding stress but everyone reacts differently to stress, with some people revelling in it as a challenge. There are two universal ways outlined here to tackle undue levels of stress.


  • The BEST Way to Face Up To Change (2)
    [Business:Change-Management] Change can be pretty scary but it is inevitable. Find out the MAIN reason which makes dealing with change difficult.


  • The BEST Way to Face Up To Change (1)
    [Business:Change-Management] Change can be a pretty scary deal, but how do you deal with it when you feel comfortable with the status quo and see no reason to behave differently?


  • The Impact of Opposing Gender Development on Relationships (2)
    [Relationships] The Later Years: Opposing gender development impacts negatively on many relationships, hence the increasing high level of break-ups and divorces. This becomes most stark after 45 years old with the later years being an anti-climax for many men.


  • The Impact of Opposing Gender Development on Relationships (1)
    [Relationships] The Early Years: Opposing gender development has been one of the contributing factors to the breakdown of relationships because women and men do not evolve in the same way, particularly relating to their sense of self and level of confidence.


  • The Silent Destroyer in Relationships
    [Relationships] Many people marry or set up home together very young, then find that a few years down the line the relationship has grown stale or fallen apart. There would have been many reasons for that, but overarching all of them is a deadly culprit which is so stealthy, the parties are seldom aware of it.


  • The Most Important Role Of The Manager
    [Business:Management] Many people have different ideas of the key role of managers and how they should lead. But being able to do just two things well with your team could transform your it from a mediocre one to a high performing force.


  • We are Soooo In Love, So Why Doesn't My Partner Want To Progress it?
    [Relationships] Agony Aunt Advice... Do you have a reluctant lover? There is a definite reason for it.


  • 13 Tell-Tale Signs of Low Self-Esteem
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] There are many signs of low self-esteem, some of which are often suppressed by other attributes. But the most significant ones are the following, in order of importance and their ability to cause damage:


  • How Do I Make My Man Love Me?
    [Relationships] If you are tempted to say something like this, or agree with it: "I don't believe there is much to love in me right now, at least. Anyway, I am miserable not to be able to offer my son two parents who love one another... It is the worst feeling to see there is nothing you can offer to your man that another woman cannot do better," think again.


  • The Greatest Empowerment to a Child
    [Self-Improvement:Empowerment] Britain has effectively banned the wearing of Muslim veils in school. Is that necessary for our children?


  • Is it Time to Rewrite the Holy Books? (2)
    [News-and-Society:Religion] What relevance has the Bible to us and our world? Do we need new prophets to guide us on our journey?


  • Is it Time to Rewrite the Holy Books? (1)
    [News-and-Society:Religion] Do you believe in the Holy Bible or any religion? What does any book written so long ago, for the people of that time has to teach us in our 21st century technological age? How relevant is it to our lives?


  • Reacting to the Internet - The Cycle of Transition
    [Internet-and-Businesses-Online] Are you comfortable with, or frightened of, the ever-growing Internet? However you feel about it depends mainly on where you are in the change process.


  • What's in a Name? (3) The Enslavement of our Children
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Does the way Black children are behaving have anything do do with the slavery of their ancestors? With Britain currently commemorating the 200th anniversary of the Abolition of the Slave Trade, it got me thinking about the real legacy of slavery on Black people, particularly in how we perceive ourselves, the names we use and the way our low self-esteem affects our children.


  • What's in a Name? (2) The Language of Slavery
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] How does the language we use uplift or degrade us? With Britain currently commemorating the 200th anniversary of the Abolition of the Slave Trade, it got me thinking about the real legacy of slavery on Black people, particularly in how we perceive ourselves and the names we use.


  • What's in a Name? (1) The True Legacy of Slavery
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] With Britain currently commemorating the 200th anniversary of the Abolition of the Slave Trade, it got me thinking about the real legacy of slavery on Black people, particularly in how we perceive ourselves and the names we use.


  • The 3Rs of Personal Success (3)
    [Self-Improvement:Success] How successful do you really feel today? Are there any nagging doubt as to how you are progressing with your life? Success is not just a simple word which we can achieve if we merely work hard. It has three essential elements which, when they are lacking, leaves us with a sense of being failures. Any present feelings of demotivation could be connected to one of them.


  • The 3Rs of Personal Success(2)
    [Self-Improvement:Success] Success is not just a simple word which we can achieve if we merely work hard. It has three essential elements which, when they are lacking, leaves us with a sense of being failures. RESPECT is the next step towards personal success, without it we feel unappreciated.


  • The 3Rs of Personal Success(1)
    [Self-Improvement:Success] Success is not just a simple word which we can achieve if we merely work hard. It has three essential elements which, when they are lacking, leaves us with a sense of being failures. RECOGNITION is the first step towards personal success.


  • Why a Permanent Job is Bad for You (2) - The Personal Costs
    [Business:Careers-Employment] Permanent jobs might seem very attractive at first. But there are personal costs to having a permanent job, despite the rewards, and the biggest one is in the gradually loss of self-belief and self-esteem.


  • Why a Permanent Job is Bad for You (1)
    [Business:Careers-Employment] A permanent job might sound just the thing for you right now. You never have to worry about money again for a long time. But what might you be trading for that in return for such 'security'?


  • The Essence of Ambition (2)
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Is there a person who isn't ambitious? Are there really people who are very happy with just what they have and are doing? Well, the news is that there is no such person.


  • How Ambitious Are You? (1)
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] The type of answer to that question is likely to depend on whether you are male or female; whether you are keen to develop your own capabilities or you fear failure or rejection.


  • Equality Myths Around Women (3) - The MERIT Concept
    [Womens-Interests] Why is the concept of 'merit' attached only to women and underrepresented groups in the workplace, yet not seen to be of relevance to men, who appear to automatically merit their positions?


  • Equality Myths Around Women (1) - Great Advancement
    [Womens-Interests] Are women really advancing in the workplace and getting their share of success? The answer depends on how we perceive the achievements of women, especially in our own workplace. But there are many myths around their access to genuine equity.


  • Equality Myths Around Women (2) - The MERIT Ideal
    [Womens-Interests] Do you believe you 'merit' your job? More than likely, the answer to that question will depend on whether you are a man or women. Men don't think about merit in the same way because they believe their suitability to a post in never in question.


  • How Are Your Interpersonal Skills? - Part 1
    [Business:Workplace-Communication] We say a lot to others even when we think we are not communicating but we cannot get by without developing some interpersonal skills. Without those essential tools, we are always found wanting.


  • Developing Good Interpersonal Skills - Part 2
    [Relationships:Communication] Developing good interpersonal skills socially and at work begins with looking outwards; being very generous with praise and having a genuine desire to listen and encourage at every opportunity. Too many people are only interested in hearing their own voices, or putting their colleagues down. This could explain why many organisations are short on innovation but long on windbags who, having the authority and a captive audience to match, drone on relentlessly because they believe their utterances to be paramount.


  • Is The Alphabet Dictating Your Success? Some Evidence (Part 2)
    [Business:Careers-Employment] Do you get that nagging feeling that you deserve to be more successful than you are, but can't seem to make the grade? It could have very little to do with your skills or knowledge. Instead your surname could be the culprit!


  • Is The Alphabet Dictating Your Success? Part 1
    [Business:Careers-Employment] Have you been unsuccessful, and in situations where you should have walked it? Wondered why you are not leaping ahead just yet, despite your efforts? Forget your skills and experience. It could simply be down to your name!


  • How Do I Develop Self Love? 3 Essential Starters
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] (Agony Aunt Question) If you do not love yourself, where do you begin to appreciate the wonderful, unique person you are?It is not an easy journey. But there are 3 essential starting points.


  • Could You Date Someone Ugly?
    [Relationships:Dating] (Agony Aunt Question) We are always keen to find someone who fits the cliched description of being 'tall, dark and handsome' or 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous'. But there are very few soulmates fitting that description which leads to needless disappointment in our search for perfection.


  • Why Am I Working So Hard Without Proper Rewards?
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] (Agony Aunt Question) Do you feel as though you are banging you head against a brick wall in getting on with your life? Is living a constant struggle? There could be one key thing you are not doing.


  • Confidence Killer 5 - Ageism
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Nancy Pelosi might be just a woman who has taken up high office. But in today's superficial concentration on looks and age, Nancy could be doing much more than she thinks to boost the confidence and esteem of many older women!


  • The Biggest Obstacle to Personal Achievement and Confidence
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Are you the type who worries about the past and wish you had done things differently? Do you sometimes doubt yourself and your actions, feeling less than effective sometimes? The two are definitely related.


  • Are Good Leaders Born or Made?
    [Self-Improvement:Leadership] Many people believe that great leaders are born and can't be trained. Apparently we have to possess some innate capacity to inspire others to assume leadership? But is that entirely right?


  • The Problem With Leadership Promotion
    [Self-Improvement:Leadership] Why are some managers failing at their task? Is it because of incomptence or is something else operating there? What are the basic essentials for being an effecive manager?


  • The Limits of Professional Power
    [Self-Improvement:Leadership] Leaders may seem to have a lot of power, but such power is very limited because it depends on a subtle form of worker allowance which is not easily noted.


  • The Biggest Single Confidence Killer
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] What is the single most important thing that can lower your self-esteem and rob you of your confidence? This one thing is guaranteed to make you feel really low and yet very few people are aware of not having it, or even what it is.


  • Confidence Killer (4) - Inadequate Appreciation
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Many people underestimate the value of praise and appreciation in the home and workplace in motivating others, reinforcing their value and ensuring their loyalty and commitment. Managers in particular, have always got this wrong.


  • Confidence Killer (3)- Weak Principles
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Do you have strong values, or do they tend to change with the wind and whomever you might wish to impress? The cornerstone of great confidence and self-esteem is to enjoy being you are and to be proud of it. This confidence killer sets up conflicting feelings within us which can affect our identity.


  • Confidence Killer (2) - The Search for Perfection
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Are you the type that is guided by perfection? Always seeking the RIGHT time to do things because the moment has to be just perfect? What effect is that having on fulfilling your potential and achieving your dreams?


  • Confidence Killer (1) - Trapped in the Past
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] There are many confidence killers in our everyday life, but some are more lethal than others. This first killer is a pre-occupation with the past. Somehow, we find it difficult to extricate ourself from past actions and so we rob ourself of a future.


  • The 3 Ways We Lower our Esteem and Underachieve
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Do you have low self-esteem because you think you are not achieving enough, or fulfilling your potential? There are likely to be three main reasons for that which you have not really noticed. Which ones are affecting you now?


  • The 3 Pillars Of Confidence - No.3
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] This is the last part of the confidence triangle, and the most crucial part. Self-esteem is so dependent upon other things in our life, especially our sense of belonging and achievement, if you have it, one of the other two are surely to blame.


  • The 3 Pillars Of Confidence - No.2
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] We hear the word 'confidence' very often. But it isn't a single word which is easy to access. Confidence actually consists of three crucial parts, matching together in a kind of emotional triangle. Until we have all three elements, personal confidence will always be elusive. That is why confidence cannot be 'learned' neither are there any instant fixes or cures for the equally low self-esteem.


  • The 3 Pillars Of Confidence - No.1
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] We hear the word 'confidence' very often. But it isn't a single word which is easy to access. Confidence actually consists of three crucial parts, matching together in a kind of emotional triangle. Until we have all three elements, personal confidence will always be elusive. That is why confidence cannot be 'learned' neither are there any instant fixes or cures for the equally low self-esteem.


  • Step 1 in Enjoying a Disgraceful Life - Love Yourself!
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] This is an excerpt from "10 Easy Steps to...Growing Older Disgracefully", Chapter 2. This is part of the first key step to appeciating your age, the whole ageing process and making the most of it.


  • Do YOU Have Real Confidence or False Assurance? (PART 2)
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] How does confidence affect you? Do you know where it comes from and why you might not have as much of it as you wish? That could be because your personal confidence broadly depends on the reaction of others to you.


  • Do YOU Have Real Confidence or False Assurance? (PART 1)
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Are you a really confident person? How do you react when you desire something? The level of confidence you demonstrate could make the difference between getting it or losing it altogether.


  • Why The Growth of Racism Has Little to do With Racists
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] What is 'truth' and how is perception of it affecting our world order and quality of life? Racism emerges from someone's 'truth' but is actually controlled and condoned by the silent majority.


  • Why Do Men Cheat?
    [Relationships:Affairs] Obviously, women cheat too. But as the question came from a woman, only men will be dealt with here.


  • The 4 Main Reasons Why Partners Are Unfaithful
    [Relationships] Are you having problems in your relationship? Are you feeling unhappy without knowing why? Have you recently left a relationship? There could be key reasons for all this.


  • How Should I React if I Catch My Boyfriend Cheating?
    [Relationships:Affairs] (Agony Aunt) Personal response to a specific query. It is always difficult to recover from betrayal. But if we keep an eye on the positive things, we move on much quicker instead of allowing our lives to be eaten up and destroyed by anger. What many people fail to...


  • The 3 Key Steps to Resolving Personal Issues
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] You are feeling angry with your partner, lover, parent or friend. How do you seek to resolve it? What do you usually do first? If you are not getting the results you require, with disagreements or frustrations, there's something else needed.


  • The Top 5 Keys To A Longer Life
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Why do some people live much longer and healthier than others? Is there some magic formula to increase those precious years? It might be simpler than you think.


  • The Single Biggest Killer of Relationships
    [Relationships:Conflict] After the Valentine excitement, are you still alone? Still searching for your elusive ideal? Or are you in a a conflicting relationship? Do you feel unhappy without knowing why? Have you just broken up with a lot of blaming on both sides? Not sure of the main reason behind all those situations??


  • Deadly Sins Which Prevent Us Finding Soulmates (Part 1)
    [Self-Improvement:Attraction] Have you been having difficulty finding a new lover or soulmate? What exactly is keeping you from finding the ideal person for you, despite all the dates you may attract? It could be some very simple things you haven't even thought about.


  • Deadly Sins Which Prevent Us Finding Soulmates (Part 2)
    [Self-Improvement:Attraction] Have you been having difficulty finding a new lover or soulmate? What exactly is keeping you from finding the ideal person for you, despite all the dates you may attract? It could be some very simple things you haven't even thought about.


  • The Curse of the Musical Legends
    [Arts-and-Entertainment:Music] Can the children of legends ever be legendary themselves? Or, despite their golden headstart, is their fate sealed in mediocrity from the time they are born?


  • Do We Really Need A Black History Month?
    [News-and-Society] Do we really need a Black History Month? And how would we feel as Black people if we saw an annual celebration of a White History Month? This article was written for a British audience but it is equally applicable to the current Black History Month in the America.


  • Is It Better to Have Loved than Not at All?
    [Relationships:Love] Are you one of those who focus more on any pain in your life than on the opportunities it brings for self-development, self-enrichment and wisdom? You could be missing out on life itself.


  • What Do You REALLY Want? 5 Magical Ingredients For Getting It
    [Self-Improvement:Attraction] Do you really know what you want? If you don't, how can you get it? There is a very simple and guaranteed way to achieve your dreams. There is no rocket science attached to that. It all depends on YOU, no one else.


  • The True Meaning of Respect
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] We use the word RESPECT a lot but many people complain of not receiving it. This is because most people do not really understand what it means or how they can get it. That could be because respect has seven dimensions of fulfillment and will not work unless they are all applied.


  • Are Your VALUES Blocking Your SUCCESS?
    [Self-Improvement:Success] Our personal values play a much bigger part in the decisions we make, and what we actually achieve, than we realise. What impact are your beliefs having on your life at the moment?


  • Why Keeping Promises Are Very Important
    [Relationships] Many people make promises, in both business and personal life, don't keep them, and think nothing of it. That pattern becomes part of their way of living. However, the consequences of those broken promises can have far reaching effects for all parties involved.


  • The Gift of Interaction
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Are you too busy to interact with someone else? Perhaps to make a call, text, or just see how they are? Is everything else crowding out that special connection with another person? Regular interaction is not only essential for our development and sanity, it is also a precious gift.


  • No Such Thing As The Truth
    [News-and-Society:Pure-Opinion] We hear about seeking 'the truth' a lot. We all want to believe we are telling 'the truth', relationships often break because of an absence of 'the truth'. But is there such a thing as 'the truth'?


  • The Definition of Confidence
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] Excerpt from "Money, Sex and Compromise," Chapter 3 -Confidence and Self Esteem. Do you know what confidence is? You cannot just be confident at will. That is something which has to be nurtured and which stems from your childhood experiences.


  • A Valentine Story: The Love of My Life
    [Relationships:Love] Excerpt from 10 Easy Steps to...Finding Your Ideal Soulmate! (Taken from the Introduction) If you are having difficulty finding your ideal partner, or you feel stuck in a problematic relationship, you could be missing out on up to 10 essential steps you should be taking to improve your situation.


  • Does the Audacity of Barack Obama Carry Lessons for Britain?
    [News-and-Society:Politics] Britain seems to be about 25 years behind America on diversity leadership and dealing with its issues. Whether he gets the presidency or not, Barack Obama will have changed perceptions across the Pond of what is truly possible.


  • A Valentine Thought - Dying for Love!
    [Relationships:Love] Everyone seeks happiness and love without knowing that we cannot get them from someone else unless we have it in us first. What really makes us want to maim or kill another for love?


  • What Is True MySpace Friendship?
    [Internet-and-Businesses-Online] MySpace members have a habit of accusing each other of being 'fake', not really sincere. But the sheer size of this networking site hides an interesting dynamic and throws light on the whole question of friendship itself and what it really means.


  • How Do I Get My Girlfriend To Respect Me?
    [Relationships] Agony Advice - We use the word respect very easily, but it is a very deceptive word which carries a number of dimensions we are hardly aware of. It cannot be forced in any situation. So do you think you have it, for yourself and others?


  • How Do I Handle Rejection?
    [Relationships] Agony Advice - Most people live in constant fear of being rejected. They fear it so much they rob themselves of a life by not allowing new encounters in case they get hurt. Some even want to commit suicide! But every rejection serves an essential purpose for the rest of our journey. Knowing how to handle it is most important thing, not the pain itself.


  • How Can I Stop Worrying?
    [Self-Improvement:Stress-Management] Agony Advice - Is it really worth worrying in life? Are there better things you could be doing?


  • Personal Values and Their Importance
    [Self-Improvement:Motivation] What kind of values do you have and how are they impacting on your life at this very moment?


  • How Do I Love Myself When I Feel Like Crap?
    [Self-Improvement:Self-Esteem] The most difficult thing is self-love yet, without it, our relationships are doomed to fail. But how does such love begin?


  • 4 Key Reasons for Relationships
    [Relationships] You may believe that soulmates and lovers come into our lives mainly to be permanent and live with us happily ever after. But that is not quite right. There are other reasons for their presence.


  • Why Friendship And Dating Do Not Go Together
    [Relationships:Dating] Are you the type of person who is seeking a soul mate but states clearly: "I would like friendship first and see how it goes?" A form of hedging bets to prevent being hurt. But real friendship will be elusive in this case because it is not possible where there is any attraction.


  • Where is the REAL World
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Is there a REAL world? This is usually meant for people who are perceived to be in a fantasy world of their own or not behaving in expected ways. But is there such a place?


  • The Story of a Smile
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] What is your greatest asset? A timely tale of confidence and its effects.


  • Why Falling in Love is Not So Easy!
    [Relationships] We all wish we could have it all: the pulse-racing, heart-stopping, floating feeling of sheer ecstasy when we fall in love. The one which draws us immediately in a whirlpool of wonderful feelings. Some of us are very fortunate to find it on occasions. Others - like me - have it almost every time we meet a soul mate, while many others never seem to get near it, no matter how hard they try.


  • Why New Year's Resolutions are Important
    [Self-Improvement:Goal-Setting] We all make New Year's resolutions but often in jest, or to follow the crowd, knowing that they won't be maintained. Yet resolutions can be dynamic in changing our direction, our aspirations and the quality of our lives.


  • What Is Happiness?
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] Everyone seeks happiness as their ultimate goal. But what is it and where do you find it? Can anyone really find true happiness?


  • The 4 Essentials for a Fulfilling Life
    [Self-Improvement:Happiness] What is the connection between seeking fame and becoming deviant? They are based on the same foundation- the desire to be somebody, by fair means or foul. There are 4 essential things we all need to feel good about ourselves. Do you have them now?

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