Every teacher, every counselor, every principal knows youngsters who won't do their work. Some of these work refusers often fail to show up. When they do show up, they often say little, and some may be nearly mute. Some may not even make eye contact.

Typically, adults consider two options: pushing the child or backing off. All types of "pushing" can fail, whether rewards, consequences, pressure or logic are used. Backing off can't ever work because if you back off then you're not offering the child an education, or whatever your service is. The world demands skills from every one of us. No exceptions are made for those who endured abuse or neglect. We spend hours thoroughly covering work refusers in our workshop, and can't fit all that comprehensive, step-by-step guidance here, but we'll give you some key tips on one central, critical aspect of working with work refusers: control.

It's Pain, Not a Game
Many work refusers face enormous challenges from severe family problems like violence or incest, to challenges like disabilities and emotional disorders. Work refusal can appear to be a game, but especially with victimized youngsters, it's not a game at all. Getting "stuck" is the only way they know to survive.

Strategy: Few kids will ever say "I was beaten last night so math seems irrelevant. Can I skip the exam?" For distressed kids who don't wish to disclose the nature of their distress, simply allow them to say whether it's a "good work day" or "bad work day." How much work could you do after a beating? Deeply appreciative of accommodations, some students work very hard on the days that they're able to.

You're a Life Line
You may be the only sane, sober adult some students know-- a fact that you may want to keep in mind.

Strategy: If you're a teacher, then you may live with on-going "testing mania," and other big pressures to produce results at school. It can be hard to remember that humanity is always more important than scores. Forget the humanity you won't get good scores. Remember the humanity, you'll maximize your humans and their scores.

Tiny Increments
Traumatized kids have so little energy left for school: Surviving the beatings, homelessness, incest, or neglect can demand all the child's resources.

Strategy: Raise expectations in tiny increments. If a student says your goals are too easy, that's just right. Aim for lots of small successes rather than a big failure followed by seizing up and absences.

Discern Causes
Look beyond the work refusal to improve it.

Strategy: Ask students why they don't work. When many say "I don't know," reply: "If you did know, what would it be?" This off-beat method can yield important answers. Be ready to arrange help for the serious issues students cite.

Strike the Balance
Neither pushing or backing off works, even though they tend to be the most commonly used options.

Strategy: So what does work if the two most common methods are so ineffective? Striking the balance between those two options. That means that you never abandon your mission, but you don't accomplish it at all costs. That balance is dynamic and shifting, so it will vary from day to day, even hour to hour. For example, imagine a child has a dad who is a long haul truck driver, and very violent.

When dad is home, this is a very troubled kid who does little work: coping with the violence takes all her energy. So, you increase the accommodations you make, and decrease expectations. When dad is on the road, the child may be more functional. Now, you reduce the accommodations, and increase expectations. If you correctly strike the balance, you'll maximize the education and other services that you can give to children carrying unbearable loads.

A Final Thought: Consider this true story as a way to understand your potential impact on vulnerable children who refuse to work: "Mom hasn't moved in three days. I'm worried," the first grader said when asked why he couldn't work. Tragically, upon investigation, the boy's Mom had passed without any adult knowing. Looking back, would you want to have taken the time to ask, or would you be satisfied that you had only focused on getting the work done?

Need more help with work refusers? See our resources listed in box below.