Valentine's Day can be dangerous for the desperate single gal seeking a date so as not to be alone on this "couple's holiday." By dangerous, I mean physically. Men who prey on women know the signs of a desperate single gal around this time of year and put their plan into motion. There are also mental and emotional dangers to consider. If you end up with the stalker-type, you may have a long, scary road ahead of you! Let's take a closer look at ways to avoid getting "sucked in" by the hype.  

I don't think Cupid intended what Valentine's Day has become for many single women; or couples for that matter. Single women long for the romantic holiday seen in jewelry store commercials: the man of their dreams with a beautiful sparkly gift and enough love to last a lifetime. I don't mean to be a buzz-kill here but have you noticed the overcrowded restaurants filled with overwhelmed food servers and couples on their annual "obligation" date?  

A few years ago, I emailed a new friend, Lisa, and wished her "Happy Valentine's Day." The reply I received from that single email had more venom than I'd ever received in any email or phone call! She wrote that Valentine's Day was just another reminder of the fact that her biological clock was ticking, she didn't had children or any husband prospects in sight! She added that my positive attitude about such a horrible day was even more angering and went into a diatribe I would not repeat.  

Lisa has no idea that although her vicious email ended our friendship, it has probably saved a few lives. Her response awakened me to the plight of the desperate woman on what is touted as a "couple's holiday." Since then, I have seen and heard about women going to both great measures and frightening depths just to have a date on Valentine's Day...any date!  

What Happens When We Allow Desperation to Take Over:

1. We compromise our values; diminishing our self-respect
2. We compromise our integrity; diminishing other's respect
3. We cross our own personal boundaries; limiting our resolve
4. We ignore our gut feelings; inviting dangerous people and situations
5. We set ourselves up for pain, frustration and failure

All of these result in weak body language; the first thing attackers look for when selecting their victims. So this desperation around the "holiday of love" can literally get us killed! Men know single women are desperate to find a date and the wrong man with a desperate woman can be fatal.

Alternatives for the single gal on V-Day:

• Chick Night - Enjoy the power of empowering women all around you. Women who love men but don't have to have one to be happy. Make dinner together, have a slumber party, bring in a massage therapist (female) and rejoice in the feminine energy of your friends to be stronger and more loving on February 15th.
• Chick Chat - Arrange a conference call with friends from high school, college, your mom or sisters. Talk about what you appreciate in one another and feel empowered on February 15th.
• Single Gal Night - Make yourself a great dinner or order in, watch a funny movie, make popcorn, make a list of your great qualities and remember that restaurants are packed full of unhappy couples and overwhelmed food servers. Make a list of what you want instead of trying to fit in with "the crowd" because people who must be part of the crowd have low self-esteem and that is not on your list.
• Childhood Valentines - Grab a box of the valentine's we shared in elementary school and mail them to your parents, kids, girlfriends and guy friends. It is a little touch that means a lot in a world of texts and emails. Make someone else's Valentine's Day spectacular. I've gotten the more heartfelt responses from mailing valentines to my clients just to tell them they are in my heart (only suitable for certain clienteles). 

Staying safe on Valentine's Day by avoiding the hype; opting instead for physical, mental and emotional well-being is simple. Happy Valentine's Day ladies! Do something on February 14th to be stronger and happier on February 15th!