We've all heard someone say, "He got in my space," right? Well, do we ever talk about what lead up to that? I don't mean the creepy male coworker walked right into your cubicle before making a rude comment, I mean what did you do that showed him that was okay in the first place? This is where you say, "But it wasn't my fault." Wasn't it? What are your personal boundaries? Do you have any? Does the creepy male coworker know what they are or does he see you as just another victim of he attacker mindset?

Attacker Mindset:
Insecure, low self-esteem, feels out of control of his own life, chooses to control someone else to feel "in control" again. Note: Attackers are male and female of all ages.

Whether this particular incident was caused by a lack of personal boundaries or a blatant disregard for them, we all have to know what is acceptable and unacceptable to us before we complain that someone else didn't know.

About Personal Boundaries:

1. Acceptable and unacceptable are polar opposites so determining one determines the other by default
2. The "my space" in the sentence, "He got in my space," is 18-24 inches around your body
3. You have the legal right and moral obligation to protect your personal space
4. The "line" in the sentence, "She crossed the line," refers to the line that divides acceptable from unacceptable

Establishing Personal Boundaries:

1. Draw a line down the middle of a blank piece of paper
2. Write things that are acceptable to you on the left side beginning with "speaking to me respectfully"
3. Write unacceptable things on the right side (the polar opposite of what is on the left side) beginning with "speaking to me disrespectfully"
4. Include: how you like to be treated, spoken to, situations, people, places, things, pets, smoking, drugs, doctors, off color jokes, foul language, doing business with friends, procrastinating, loaning friends money, your kids playing computer games before homework is completed, meeting a first date instead of having him pick you up, talking on a cell phone in a restaurant, getting recognition for things done well, relatives staying the night uninvited, knowingly being given more work than you can handle; everything you can think of regarding people, places and situations in your life.

If you did the above exercise, you have just established your personal boundaries. Congratulations! Most people never do it but complain about people "getting in their space" or "crossing the line." However, if you ask them where the line is or where the space is, they wouldn't have an answer.

There's another step to personal boundaries and that is enforcing them. Establishing them gives you a good start and next time someone "gets in your space," you'll know how and why. Share this excellent safety secret with other women you know!