Are you tired of that certain friend dumping her toxic emotional waste on you? Do you ever notice how happy she is once she gets it all out and how lousy you feel afterward? She's usually ready to go have fun in a few minutes while you feel like a building just fell on you. Do you realize attackers (by the way, this "friend" is one) look for weak body language when selecting victims and the weakness you feel after the dump projects its self in exactly that - weak body language? That means being the dumping ground is putting you in greater danger of being attacked physically by a mugger, rapist, bully, etc. Do you get the feeling this isn't you being nice but actually detrimental to your health and safety? Good. Here's the remedy.

Step 1 - Make a list with these categories:

1. Could count on in an emergency
2. Fun but not dependable
3. Obligation friend
4. Toxic (waste of my time, energy and self-esteem)

Now, realize your true friends, #1, are the people you could count on to come over in the middle of the night if you're scared or sick, sit with you in a serious doctor's visit, come to the funeral of a family member, cheer you up after a devastating breakup or help you re-frame your negative situations into personal growth opportunities. We have very few of these friends and some of us don't have any...yet.

The #2 friend is an acquaintance, not a friend. The only true friend is #1. But these people are fun to hang with and shop with and do girl stuff with. They just wouldn't come to mind if something serious is going on because you know they will conveniently have other plans.

The obligation friend is someone you kind of have to do things with because she is connected to all of your other friends, co-workers or family. This is someone you might team up with if you're both going to the same event and don't want to sit alone. Or the last person you call if you're bored and #1 and #2 are unavailable.

The toxic "friend" is the anti-friend. She is a mental, emotional and, dare I say, verbal attacker. She is weak and likes drama because it gets her attention. She especially likes to dump her toxic waste on others because, as an attacker, she has low self-esteem, is insecure, feels out of control of her own life (no matter what she portrays) and looks for others she can control by ruining their day, good mood or life.

Step 2 - Realize what you've got:

1. Write your friend's names in the category that best suits them
2. Put an "X" by those you are a #1 friend to and determine if you are toxic to anyone
3. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF! THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY!
4. Stop making excuses for people who "probably don't realize they're dumping." THEY DO
5. Think about where these people would put you on their list (there's an eye-opener)

Step 3 - Delete the toxic friends immediately:

1. You no longer have time for these people
2. You can either be "busy" when they call or tell them straight up that you're ending the "friendship" knowing that friends don't dump toxic emotional waste on one another

Step 4 - Make a plan from your results:

1. You will be quite surprised by your results, that's normal
2. Thank your #1 friends immediately because they have your back and cannot get recognized often enough
3. Decide if you need some #1 friends and set out to make them, after establishing healthy personal boundaries

The toxic, emotional waste dump is now closed and as long as you keep it that way, you are safer physically, emotionally and mentally. Congratulations!

Friends either build you up or tear you down. Now you can help your #1 friends delete their toxic friendships for safety's sake; an excellent safety secret for women in your life.