We all know people who have the "poor me" attitude. They always have a story of how someone wronged them or how nothing goes right for them or how they are always kept from doing what they really want to do. The "poor me" attitude is the victim mindset, which we know attracts attackers of all kinds, which, in turn perpetuates the attitude; a negative, vicious cycle.

As women, we give our power away far too often and being in the mindset of blaming everyone else for your life experiences means you have decided to let others run your life. For a "poor me" person, the attention they get by being tragic is reward enough to keep up the act. Pity is negative attention. Most people who fall for the "poor me" people are those who feel sympathy instead of empathy and get right in the muddy, tragic waters with them perpetuating the problem. Now instead of a drama queen, you have a drama play with all of the characters secure in their roles of despair.

The danger is negative attitudes weaken body language. This sets the "poor me" person, and anyone else who joined in the play, up for attack by people looking for a prospective victim. The body language change may be so subtle we wouldn't notice but those who attack, it is as clear as a bell.

If you are a woman who likes being the captain of your own ship and determining your life's course, chances are you have little time for "poor me" people. You see it as weakness and offer suggestions as to how they might adjust their circumstances. You offer encouragement until you realize that in their mind, if they take control of their life, they won't have anyone else to blame and that is terrifying to them. I mean, what would they have to complain about then? And who would they complain to?

"Poor me" people may be helped, if they are up for it, but most would rather blame and complain, which makes them a toxic relationship and detrimental to people aiming to be healthy and happy.

Disclaimer: We all have "poor me" days occasionally but to live in this mindset by choice (and those who do deny they have choice) is a self-esteem issue of feeling unworthy of great things while still needing attention. It is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Rather than get dragged down with a "poor me" person to be unsafe yourself, talk about what they can do to rectify the situation. I can almost guarantee one of two things will happen. They will adjust to follow your excellent advice or they will not come to you with their sad stories anymore because they know you will not feed their "attention fix."