Givers and Takers...We generally believe that one is good and one is bad. A "Giver" is generally a "Giver" for life and would feel uncomfortable being a "Taker". However, we can live a very long life and some "Givers" deplete themselves far too early. They start to wonder about their own happiness but could never become a "Taker" so a dark cloud starts to surround them. There is a secret to being a happy, marathon giver without ever feeling like a "Taker".
Have you ever:
- Sacrificed something that you wanted so that your spouse or child could have what they wanted?
- Lent money to a friend or relative and never been repaid?
- Hired someone just because they really needed a job only to have them cause major trouble for you?
- Served a man for 20 years, cooking, cleaning, raising his kids, only to have him leave you for someone who "knows how to have fun?"
- Started to believe that "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished?"
- Been on a committee where you did all the work?
It's all about starting to care for yourself. Most of us have grown up hearing "selfish" and "selfishness" with a negative connotation. Just another one of those myths that gets passed down from parent to child, generation after generation. You know how it really works; "When Mamma's happy, everyone is happy." Why is that true? The easiest explanation comes from listening to the airline flight attendant, "Place your oxygen mask on first, then help your child or travel mate with their mask." The better shape you are in, the better you can help those around you.
Not convinced? If you have been a healthy upbeat person, you may not have even noticed you were making sacrifices. But times change and you still have many years ahead of you. Without nurturing your body, mind and spirit, you may not be able to continue being a positive force in the lives of those around you. In fact, you risk becoming a negative factor or even a burden to your loved ones. I know this may be difficult for you but give it a try and notice the results. Taking care of yourself first is a smart and logical thing to do. This is the secret to being a wonderful, happy "Giver" during an entire long and healthy life. Start giving to yourself first. Here are some ways to begin:
- Learn to say "No". Even thoughtful loved ones will take advantage if you let them.
- Make regular times during the week, known to all as "your time". Use these times for your hobby, walking, yoga class, getting a massage or just having your hair or nails done.
- Experiment with something you gave up to be a "responsible" adult; art, poetry, a musical instrument, travel or anything else that gives you pleasure.
- Search the Internet for "tips for Baby Boomers".
- Take this advice from a bumper sticker on the back of an expensive RV, "We are spending our children's inheritance". "Live rich and die broke" actually simplifies many matters.
- Take the time to meet your neighbors and reconnect with old friends.
- Take time each day to meditate and recite positive affirmations.
- Keep a "gratitude journal"
- Volunteer or become a mentor but only if you can easily make the time available.
- Listen to your body. Eat what you want but in small quantities. Do something fun for exercise.
- Hang out with people younger, smarter and richer than yourself and listen to their ideas.
1. I'm staying healthy so that I can take care of you in your old age.
2. Talk to a flight attendant.
3. Experts say it is time to take care of myself.
4. Or the reply you have heard so often from others, "Because I want to."
Seriously, I think you will be pleasantly surprised when you start seeing the results of taking care of yourself first. Go ahead, start today.
About this Author
Find helpful tips for enjoying your 2nd adult life in Rick's Blog. A roadmap for the "Baby Boomer's" quest for a good retirement life is Rick's book/workshop, A Smart Person's Guide to a Great Retirement. If you are over 40, get this retirement plan and start making the coming years the very best of your life.
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