I have always believed that maintaining a relationship is a full-time occupation. You slip up anywhere at any time and you might lose the job. Unless of course the relationship is founded on solid grounds of true love and respect. If you have lost your loved one to another lover or to nothing that you can point a finger at, you are desperate for winning your ex back - because you are feeling lost and as I said, find yourself without a job!

Strange as it may seem, winning your ex back is much more than looking for and implementing tips and tricks to get your ex back. Of course, this is part of the game but winning your ex back should ideally start from yourself! If you think you already know yourself, think again. You 'think' you know your mind - but if you take some time off every day and sit down to look within, you would be surprised at what you may discover. For winning your ex back, here are some pointers to guide you through the process of introspection:

• Why did the breakup happen in the first place? Where did I go wrong? Why didn't I get any hint of the impending split? Was I blind, deaf or both? Once you think about the past, you might not feel like pursuing this exercise of winning your ex back. You have to remember that people change with time and so do their priorities. If your ex has left you for reasons of his or her own, learn to respect this decision and move on.

• Why am I missing my ex so much? Why am I so keen on winning my ex back? Am I feeling insecure without his or her presence? Am I feeling indecisive about what lies ahead? Is it due to the kids, finance, home or any other reason? And finally, was my ex a prop in my life, on which I latched on for survival? As you can see, there is no mention of love here. To find a good reason for winning your ex back, you have to delete the concept of love and look for other reasons.

• Does it really make sense in winning my ex back? In which areas would I miss him or her? To get the real answer to this rather difficult question, you should give each other enough time and space to come to a final conclusion. You may succeed in winning your ex back, but unless you know why, your relationship would forever be standing on murky waters. To add stability, both of you need to assess the situation pragmatically rather than view everything blindly. Love may be blind but being blind cannot help you winning your ex back or even maintain a relationship successfully.