Sometimes couples may find themselves asking the question "Will your marriage survive an affair?" The question may seem to be a difficult one to answer. But of course there are factors that have to be evaluated before determining if a relationship can move on when cheating has upset the balance of the marriage relationship. For example, did the husband have some sort of need that the wife could not provide? May the wife is a carrier woman and is not easily available to the husband in his time of need. Or the tables may have been turned where the wife needed the husband for comforting, and he is not normally available for her needs. What ever the circumstances, the affair is a "Big Red Flag" that happens to couples to inform them that the marriage is in trouble. And the marriage is going to fall apart if all the issues are not addresses.

Here are some tips that you and your spouse can use to start the communication process and rebuild your marriage

• Sit down and start talking to each other. Couples that avoid each other may find it difficult to resolve the issues at a later time. You and you spouse need to try and find the reason for the affair. It is obvious how it happened, but what is the underlying event that led to your spouse taking a lover?

• Take turns communicating and listening to each other. Communication is a two-way street, but you both should not be talking at the same time. Spend time listening to your spouses reason for the affair. Let him/her get everything off their chest. It can be an emotional talk, but it is best to get everything out in the open. Once they have finished, you can start communicating your feelings and address any of the issues that were raised. Communicating with your spouse is going to be a back and forth process until you are in agreement to a course of action.

• Be the forgiving spouse. Your spouse has already been forward about the event and they must be feeling like they have not only let you down. But they have let the entire family down. So things are not going to get any better if you are going to make your spouse suffer. He/she could fall into a deeper depression and make things between the two of you. So the best thing that you could do is to forgive your spouse for the event and put it behind you.

• Let your spouse know that while the forgiveness came easy, your trust will need to be earned back over time. You are never going to be able to trust your spouse again 100 percent. He, or she, will need to be held accountable for their actions, and will need to learn to be more forthcoming to you about where they are going and who they are going with. Trust takes a lot of time to heal.