Have you been in a situation where you know your guy loves you but something's holding him back and you're not sure what that is? You want to move the relationship on but he's making excuses. And now you feel as if you're doing something wrong but don't know what it is.

The biggest question women ask is why are men afraid of commitment when they have shown nothing but patience and love. And typically they find themselves in the situation above where they end up feeling as if it is something about them makes men afraid of committing to them.

But this is not the truth and here's why.

A man who is afraid of commitment has thoughts in his head that associate pain to commitment, pain to togetherness and pain to living a happy ever after- which of course is the direct opposite of the way in which someone who is ready for a relationship thinks. The idea of forever terrifies him and though you may try to get him to change through your patient and understanding behaviour- in the long run those associations are difficult to surmount.

The most confusing thing about men who are afraid to commit. They will come on all strong at the beginning of a relationship making you feel safe that he is the guy to be trusted. In some instances he will even try and convince you that he is one of the good guys when your instincts are telling you to slow down and stand back a while. Then, when he as convinced you sufficiently in his goodness and his commitment to you and the relationship, you lower your guard and that's when trouble starts.

You see, you are now at the second stage in the relationship process, the stage where you want and need to move things on, and this is exactly what men who are afraid of commitment run away from.
This starts happening right at the moment you start to expect more from him and the relationship, and by this time you have already given your heart to him.

Another confusing behaviour is listening to what he says- he says that he wants the relationship and that you are the one for him, but this doesn't tally up with his actions of withdrawing, not wanting to get too close and not wanting to spend too much time with you or your family and friends.

Why am I telling you this?

I'm telling you this because I want you to know 3 predictable things that men who are afraid of commitment will do to women, and help you answer the question- Why are men afraid of commitment? Because, when you have the answer you can stop giving your heart to them.

Here's the process

1. He will try and convince you that he is right for you and that he wants what you want. This may take time but he'll do what he has to do to persuade you to feel safe with him.

2. When he finally has you he will then pull away and this will start to confuse you.

3. As time moves on you start to get mixed messages, and he continues to pull away. Your behaviour becomes more intense toward him, but the relationship then breaks down and you're left feeling as though it was your fault