"When someone's character seems impossible to fathom, observe his friends." (Japanese proverb)

"A friend is a person with whom I may be honest. Before him, I may think aloud" (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?" (Stephen Levine)

The people in our lives give us our greatest pleasure and/or pain. In what condition is each of your relationships? Do you have people on lists and with whom you rarely make contact, if ever? Are there people to whom you're grateful and yet you have not spent a moment to truly thank them? Are there cards or brief notes you could be sending, just to say hello?

What could you put in place today as a certain reminder to contact each of the people in your life regularly? How will you contact friends, colleagues and family on a regular basis - telephone, visit, e-mail, letter or card? Does your diary include a regular time segment for catching up with the people in your life?

Does this section of your weekly diary specifically list whom you will contact, how and when you will contact them and for what purpose are you contacting them e.g. social, business networking, to say thank you, birthday greeting?

What kinds of conversations do you have with each of the people on your contact lists? Are they conversations that mend, build or break down the relationships? Are all your contact lists up to date and current? Spend a day to have your contact information lists uncluttered. Archive the contact details of people you rarely contact or have no desire to contact.

If the archived list has not been used in twelve months then purge that information. Then, make sure that this task is scheduled in your diary for a date twelve months from now! This could be an ideal opportunity to get in touch with everyone you want. Why wait till Christmas or next birthday?

Send everyone a brief communication letting them know of your intention to update you contact lists and ask them to provide you names of people in their household & their relationship to them, address, telephone for work & home, mobile telephone, fax, e-mail and all household member's birthdates.

In this same communication provide them with the details of all your contact information. It would also be generous and expedient to provide them a return stamped envelope. Then as they come in, go to it! Create an effective structure for holding and maintaining this information so that it consistently is used by you.

If you save this kind of information on computer, make sure that it regularly is backed up to disk. If it is on paper then make sure you have a photocopy stored elsewhere in a safe place.