Finding the perfect man or woman for you may seem like a difficult daunting task, but it is really quite simple. First and last, you need to truly know and understand YOURSELF. You may think you know, but sometimes it does not occur until later in life when you have matured from experiencing life through good times and bad, by having various relationships, through education, work and possibly travel. You need to go through the "Know Thy Self List" of questions presented below. For each question, you will need to have a solid, concrete answer, one that you can live with forever without complaining. Once you have tackled this list, you may begin to search for Your Perfect Match or should I say Close Match because nothing is ever PERFECT. There will always be some give and take and sometimes more or less of the give and take from yourself or your partner.
Know Thy Self List
1. What are your likes and dislikes?
2. What are your religious beliefs, could you change and be happy forever and not complain if you converted to another religion?
3. What are your political views?
4. What is your adventure level and style, i.e. travel, out and about or homebody?
5. What are your hobbies and entertainment likes?
6. What are your spending and savings habits?
7. What are your food choices?
8. What are your movie choices, television choices?
9. How many children do you want?
10. Will you continue to work when there are children?
11. How will the children be raised?
12. How will the children be disciplined?
13. Who will do the house chores inside and out, cooking and car maintenance?
14. Who will pay the bills?
15. Who will be in charge of the bank accounts and investments?
16. What will be the living arrangements or goal and location?
17. What is your tolerance and compromise level?
18. What if one partner became terminally ill and could no longer work?
19. What are your future goals?
20. When should retirement happen?
21. What if one partner becomes overweight or wrinkles early?
22. What is your exercise regimen?
23. Will you have pets, what kind and will they be inside or outside?
24. Can you adopt other cultures and be happy?
25. Are you neat or a slob, i.e. the "Oscar and Felix" syndrome?
26. What are your sleeping habits, i.e. room hot or cold, bed position (side or middle), snoring, grinding teeth, early to bed and early to rise or late to bed and late to rise?
27. Do you need alone time or do you need to be with your partner constantly or know where they are at all times?
28. How much time do you need to spend with your family or friends?
When dating commences; it is usually the physical attraction that draws you to one another and many times once the newness of the relationship is over someone ends up making all the sacrifices to keep the relationship going or the relationship just ends. One person is happy and the other person is miserable, sound familiar? This frequently happens when couples marry too early, too young and have children. If you and your partner are not equal on most of the "Know Thy Self List" answers, unhappiness, bitterness, rage, resentment and stress may prevail.
Your Match will be someone who comes close to having similar likes and answers to these questions. There will be compromise from both parties, but the compromise should be acknowledged and appreciated. Your partner may be someone who shares your answers on a majority of the questions but may also balance you out where they are not the same. For example, they may enjoy cooking and you may enjoy cleaning. They may enjoy mowing the yard while you enjoy laundry or you may both share in these chores. They may enjoy a SCI-FI movie while you enjoy a Chick Flick. In those instances, you can promise to go to each other's movie or allow each other to enjoy the movie alone or with friends for a friend's night out. Getting some ME time is healthy for a relationship. You don't need to go, go, go all the time together.
Once you know yourself, then you can proceed to know another person who you may be attracted to. Communication is crucial to knowing one another and addressing the "List" together should the relationship progress to a level of seriousness, i.e. marriage or living together. You may think the other person will change or they may even say they will change or you may say to yourself that you can change. Most people cannot not change and be happy forever. Usually the lifestyle you grew up with is what will work best for you; it is comfortable and normal to you. For example, many people think their Mom is the World's Best Cook, she may be good, but it is the food you grew up with and are use to and that your taste buds have adjusted to that make it seem wonderful. If you did not have a comfortable, normal upbringing then you may need professional help to work through your issues so that you can achieve a happy and healthy relationship.
So before you search for that RIGHT person, say Hello Self, I would like to get to know you better. If you have other questions to add to the list, please let me know. Good luck in your pursuit of happiness. Thank You!
Kathryn Alexander, Hero Cards, Inc. (http://www.herocardsinc.com)
In 2008, Hero Cards, Inc. was founded to provide tangible opportunities for recognizing and thanking individuals who make a difference in our world. The company offers a greeting card line of the highest quality that is both cost and ecologically conscious and provides a percentage of its profits to families and organizations that have faced adversity. Hero Cards are designed and manufactured in the USA of recycled materials. Hero Cards, Inc. is a member of the Greeting Card Association (GCA), the Better Business Bureau (BBB) and is certified by the Women's Business Enterprise National Council (WBENC).
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