When approaching the costs associated with marriage, an engagement ring, so very small, can become a looming threat to a restricted budget. Finding an affordable option that allows a couple a ring can become a major issue. There are options, but they should be considered carefully by both partners.

The first, and best choice is to accept a diamond substitute rather than a true diamond. The tradition of a diamond engagement ring is very recent, and was in large part created as part of an ad campaign put together by the DeBeers company at the beginning of the last century, as they struggled to prevent the still active glut of quality diamonds on the market from crashing their profits.

The modern diamond is overpriced, and sells primarily because of the mystique created and perpetuated by DeBeers and other diamond merchants. The symbolism involved, of beauty, clarity, and durability, can be applied to may other stones and to diamond substitutes without loss of meaning.

If you and your partner want very much to use a "real" diamond, it is time to start looking at your options. The first is actually often overlooked: resetting a stone already existing in one of the two families. Even if purchased from the current owner the price will usually be lower than a new stone, and the resulting ring will have added significance as a family heirloom: the something old worn by the bride at her wedding, perhaps! If the setting is attractive, and the ring is offered as a gift outright you will have a diamond that never dims your budget.

Failing that, consider asking a reputable, established jeweler dealing in gemstones if he or she can find you a good stone at a low price. Understand, your idea of low price may not match a jeweler's...but a jeweler of repute is far less likely to cheat you than a fly by night, or a well intentioned chain supplier with limited jewelry education.

A reputable jeweler may find you a fine stone at an estate sale, may own a good stone with a minor flaw but great fire that he or she loves, flaws and all, or may be able to contact other professionals in the community of gem dealers to find you an affordable stone.

A reputable jeweler can also educate you regarding diamonds, far more so that any other source you can find. You may be surprised at what you are told, however: many jewelers, fully aware of the price rigging involved in diamond sales, but unable to buck the market price, will tell you openly which substitutes they consider as beautiful, durable, and desirable as diamonds without the imposed price increase. Some love cubic zirconium, some Moissanite, some white topaz.

Some, with knowledge of many stones, will recommend some strong, beautiful, but quite unexpected alternatives. Listen, and be prepared to consider their advice. Jewelers are not happy to sell diamonds at extreme prices to people who will never have the training to love them for more than their shine and their value as "traditional stones." Many feel like cheats, but must charge enough to make a profit on what they themselves spend. They will be happy to help you find a better choice that still makes them a profit without damaging their reputation or your satisfaction.

A final, long-shot option, not recommended but certainly possible, is to take advantage of pawn shops and such bidding venues as eBay. The problem is that there is no quality control or assurance that can overweigh the blind spots these forms of acquisition entail.

Even a dealer offering a stone or a piece of jewelry in good faith can "cheat" you simply out of ignorance, and the buyer is in a poor position to confirm the worth before purchase. There are many things to gamble on in life. Your engagement ring ought not be one of them.