This is a last article on "What are eating disorders ". In previous articles we looked at ED's as disorders of feelings, emotions, self-control, thinking, coping, identity, values and lifestyle. In this article we look at problems with relationships and behaviours.

1. Eating disorders are disorders of relationship.
Many sufferers often describe their eating disorders like their best friend. It is a common phrase to hear sufferers say "My best friend is always there for me." This comment is about their eating disorder not a person.

Sufferers perceived it like their "best friend", unlike the hurtful and rejecting people in real life.

This way they don't have to face reality. They are often withdrawn from their family as well as from their peers. It also seems they avoid building personal intimate relationships with people. They have a fear of being too close to anyone.

Sufferers want understanding from others but are scared to open up. Romantic relationships are difficult or impossible for many patients. All relationships are normally based on who you are as a person. But because eating disorder people associate themselves with their condition a lot, their relationships suffer. The more they associate with their ED - the bigger their relationship problems are.

Sexuality is often inhibited or distorted especially in those who developed their ED earlier in life. Many are scared of sexual relationships or associate them with something bad and dirty.

The main problem is that their relationships with themselves are wrong or do not exist. Sufferers should start working on developing a healthy "I am" first and start thinking they are worthy. Then the "I am" concerning other people second. This will help them to focus on other people in their life and not the self centred eating disorder.

Through the right training it is possible to re-focus their attention and re-structure their brain so they can have better relationships with others and with themselves.

2. Eating disorders are disorders of behaviour.
The extreme unbending and compulsive nature of unbalanced eating behaviours is the main feature of the disease. People do not know how to stop. If they eliminated one meal, it would be preferable to eliminate two. If they lost some weight, they would feel that they needed to lose more.

It gives people a kind of control which they don't have in the real world. Most ED sufferers share personality traits and behaviours seen in obsessive-compulsive disorder.

These are a tendency to be especially rigid, inhibited, ritualistic, and a perfectionist.

Many patients show impulsive, suicidal and aggressive behaviours. Problems with impulse control are common amongst bulimics and anorexics. Sufferers may have other addictions which co-exist with their ED such as drug addiction, nicotine, alcohol and the like.

People with ED get obsessed or addicted easily - mainly because they all share a gene which predisposes them to addictive behaviours. True understanding and realization of this problem can make people aware of the nature of their condition. This realization sometimes can be enough for people to get better because they recognise and change their abnormal behaviours and keep the old bad behaviours under control.

To conclude eating disorder sufferers have multiple disorders in the one person. These are disorders of feelings, emotions, self-control, thinking, coping, identity, values and lifestyle, relationships and behaviours. In order to overcome an eating disorder the sufferer should address all these aspects.

Fortunately, because our brains are plastic, positive change is possible. The wonderful ability of our brain to change itself which is called neuroplasticity can help people with Ed's beat their disorder and stay healthy for the rest of their life.

All it takes is the will and the dedication to address their personality problems in a concise way. By addressing their feelings, emotions, self-control, thinking, coping, identity, values and lifestyle, relationships and behaviours one at a time, will eventually free them from their ED.