The other day I had the privilege of reading a magazine article on how to live longer. The title announced six simple suggestions on how to prolong a person's life, and that clearly did peak my interest. Knowing my lifestyle, I had the feeling I was going to be in big trouble. You see, the author of this piece did not beat around the bush, and in her opening lines, pointed out right away that playing with 'your pooch' would add one year to your current life expectancy, and 'kicking the nicotine habit' yet another eight. Unfortunately, it turned out that I have neither a furry friend to play catch with, nor do I smoke, and never did. I wondered, and asked myself the question, did this mean that I had already lost out on nine of the thirty extra years that I was promised in this write-up?

Let's continue and see what other routine practices were going to bring me damnation. Luckily, the next requirement was not too severe. As it turned out, I already did fight cardiovascular disease on occasion thanks to every worldly dentist's recommendations, and even though I generally did not like flossing, and pocking around my teeth, whenever I did, it seemed an incentive from mother nature to give my bloodstream and heart an extra little boost, making me, at least according to the article, instantly stronger. Unfortunately, my routine was not habitual, and without regular flossing, I was not allowed the full benefits of this condition. Once again, I had to kiss another few additional years goodbye.

The next life-extending factor took me into a completely different direction. This aspect was actually aimed more towards emotions and human behavior, and explained that it was of the utmost importance I should have an optimistic outlook on life. Although I firmly believe that heartfelt laughter is better than a frown, I find it a tad tough to smile when writing my husband's "ex" her monthly support check! It is also rather impossible for me to be perky when I see the horror-filled news every night. That is also not taking into consideration my face when I pull up at a gas station to fill up my modest, and quite efficient Mazda's gas tank! I can't even start to imagine the" joy dance" those big SUV and truck owners must be doing, when perusing their gas receipts. Anyway, it looked like I would have to deduct another six years, because my smile was not as permanent-natured as it should have been.

Taking all of these tips into consideration, and focusing on a positive attitude, my glass was still half full! After all, I was getting an extra fifteen years added on, because my husband and I still played in the bedroom and I still practiced some of the other required exercise regimes... at least, if the author did not mean 'daily!' In that case I probably had to subtract even more penalty points, or visit the gin... oops... gym more often.

On a more serious note, I had to ask myself why scientists always attempt to fill our head with so many fake promises. Are they trying to bank on our desperation, or are they just looking for glory? Ask yourself, how many people own a crystal ball to explore the future, and as far as I know, time machines are still stuck in time. In other words, with the limited technology in that specific field and scientific proof we have today, nobody can really pinpoint how long we are actually going to live - not even taking in account weird flukes of nature. So, how is it possible these geniuses can add to our lifespan, when we do not even know how long that will be to begin with? Let's be real! A few pointers may help out in the health and beauty department, but that is no guarantee we couldn't get hit by a bus while crossing the street. Sarcasm aside, what I am trying to explain is that, if you have the desire to live longer don't just read one page out of the book of life, but read them all, follow a healthy lifestyle, and most of all... watch out where you are going!