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Studies have repeatedly shown that positive reinforcement can be more effective at changing a child's behavior than using punishment. Positive statements made to a child when they do something right can help them learn the proper behavior, in addition to helping them build their self-respect and self-esteem. In fact, one of the most influential forces in a child's life is the kind of interaction and communication they have with their parents. Children tend to learn pretty quickly what kind of behavior gets the most reaction out of their parents. If you only react and communicate with your child when they misbehave, you might actually be reinforcing the bad instead of the good.
The Basics of Positive Reinforcement
The art of positive reinforcement is basically easy, but there are still some tips you can follow to insure effectiveness. Pay full attention to your child when the two of you are speaking to each other. Don't appear to be distracted or disinterested, and always allow your child to finish speaking without being interrupted. Don't use labeling behaviors with your child. For example, it is much better to say "I need you to put your toys in the toy box." instead of "You're bad for leaving your toys on the floor." Be sure you are speaking in a positive fashion, as your child will learn to model their behavior after your own. Always compliment your child for good behavior and for things they do well. However, always be sure that your complements are truthful and sincere. Children have a real skill for seeing through dishonest flattery, which will only serve to erode your child's trust in you. If you need to correct bad behavior, do it in a positive way. Start with a statement that reinforces something good about your child. Then, make your statement in a non-accusatory fashion. For example, if your child is dawdling with their homework, you could start by pointing out how well they've been doing in school. Then, work your way into a discussion about good ways to get homework done efficiently. If you need to reinforce a limit with your child, state it clearly without yelling. For example, you could acknowledge that you know they would like to go outside and play, but calmly point out that they won't be able to go outside until they complete their homework.
Using Rewards Instead of Bribes
There is definitely a difference between a reward and a bribe. If you have specific expectations for your child, such as getting their homework done before playtime or cleaning their room up each evening, you should never offer bribes to get them to do these things. They need to learn that it is their responsibility to do these things. However, if your child does something exceptionally well, such as getting a good grade on a particularly hard test, then you should celebrate and reward their achievements. This will help your child learn that there are certain things that are simply expected of them, but that going "above and beyond" has its own rewards.
Always Be Consistent
Consistency is very important when interacting with your child. Stick to your rules once you've made them, and don't allow them to do something one day and then not let them do it the next. Don't confuse a child with unimportant decisions, and remember that it's often necessary to tell a child something more than one time. Speak clearly, and make sure that what you've said is understood. Above all, always maintain a positive attitude, because it's a sure bet that they will be imitating you.
About this Author
Jennifer Dobson is a preschool teacher and she invites you to visit mpmSchoolSupplies.com, her favorite place to shop for teacher supplies online. The site has an incredible selection of products at affordable prices including everything from summer bridge books and substitute teaching books to bulletin board sets and toddler toys. Shop today and save 10% on your first order!
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