I understand how frustrating it is to have your beautiful twin toddlers fighting all the time. These are some tips that have worked for me. I too had a "more aggressive" twin and in a matter of a couple of weeks things toned down a little. I'm not saying this is "guaranteed to work" but I am pretty sure it will help.
When one baby pulls another's hair or hits her take the baby that has been hurt and pull her away from the situation. The trick is to make sure that the one that has been hurt does not start crying. By doing this the baby that hits does not get a "reaction". You see, this baby does not know that she is doing something wrong but she does realize that when she does certain things the other baby will make a sound or react. That sound, good or bad is music to her ears.
As often as you can let the babies play together. Make sure that you sit in between them so that if Baby A decides to hit Baby B you can certainly stop it. Do this several times a day for an average of 3-4 minutes. Make sure to tell Baby A to give something to Baby B and so forth. This will teach them how to interact with each other while maintaining a level of safety(that's you!).
Teach your babies to stroke each other. When one baby hits another do not yell or say NO! Remember that a bad reaction is better than no reaction at all. Every time Baby A wants your attention she knows that all she has to do is hit Baby B. As often as you can, tell Baby A to "be nice" to Baby B and stroke her. When she does, in a very high pitched tone, say "That's great!" or "Good Job". This will teach the baby that she can only get a reaction when she touches her sibling in a positive way.
Find one thing that makes them both giggle or happy and do it. For example, both of my twins LOVE IT when I put something on top of my head and it falls on the floor making a banging noise. You will notice that when they're both laughing they will both look at each other. You will also notice that if Baby A does not find it funny but Baby B does it will start the giggling affect.
I know that this is hard and that you might even start pointing the finger at "those" family members that are known for being bullies but please understand that this is normal. Both babies will get through this and soon you'll be able to turn your back without hearing a screech!!
Julixa Newman is a mother of twins and founder of http://www.stuff4multiples.com. She also runs an advice column that can be read at http://AnsweringMOM.com which gives advice to parents of Multiples. She is currently working on her book that is about the trails and tribulations of IVF and raising twins.
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