To Where Shall You Run?

With summer here it means two things: complaining about the heat we wished for all winter and high school graduations. The latter recently caused quite a confusing situation for me this week when, as I was driving by the anonymous school, I noticed a billboard advertising their grad slogan, causing me to a do a double take which nearly broke my neck. "To Where Shall You Run?" asked the graduating class of 2010. "As far away from here and as fast as possible," I replied.

After making sure my doors were securely locked and checking the rear view mirror for anyone wielding an axe in the back seat, I asked myself: first of all, why should I be running away from the school, and second, why is it asking me in such a cocky, malicious way? Is the class trying to subtly inform us of some malevolent goings on at the school with their slogan but they thought "Who's Going to Believe You" was a little too on the nose?

I'm not an expert in mottoes or catchphrases, but I assume sounding like a slightly fruity serial killer isn't the best way to advertise. What happened to classic grad sayings like "Seize the Day" or "City Champs"? Somehow the competition has moved from who can run the hundred meter dash the fastest to who can terrify their grads into success the fastest. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I'm a lot more motivated by "Reach for the Stars" than "It Puts the Lotion on Its Skin."

Perhaps I'm coming at this completely wrong. Maybe the school is just trying to capture in a single sentence the horrifying reality of the world these bright-eyed grads are soon to break into. If this is the case I wholeheartedly support this policy; every time those students see that sign, like me they should be sleeping with a light on, scared stiff of what the future has in store. Good luck class of 2010, and remember, "There's Nowhere to Hide"!

Sincerely,
George R. Bruce