The Myth of the Terrible Two Year Old

There is no such thing as the "Terrible Two's." There I said it. It's been bugging me for years.

As new parents we watch and wait for it walking on egg shells and counting down the days for weeks before our child's second birthday.

Don't hold your breath.

Some of you will agree, others won't. I make this statement with the utmost conviction based on my experience.

I know. I've been there, many many times.

That's not to say you shouldn't be worried. Be afraid, be very afraid. Your day is coming, it's just a matter of time. It's just not nearly as predictable as you've been led to believe.

I've seen it happen at 4, and 3 and I've even seen it start at 1 and stay until 5, but never have I seen the dreaded "terrible two's" actually kick in at age 2.

In fact I'm convinced someone (probably not a parent) coined this particular phrase simply because it rhymed.

For those of you who have been living in fear, relax. It's likely you have a bit more time than you thought. In fact just when you start thinking your child is perfect and you are one of the chosen few, it happens. They morph into something from another universe.

It starts with something small. Maybe a pointed "No"" or a small temper tantrum. You may even be left thinking, "I f this is as bad as it gets I can totally handle it".

It's not and You can't. Trust me.

It can hit when you least expect it to and you'd better be prepared.

The day will come when your sweet little angel throws themselves on the ground in public and screams at the top of their lungs while their face turns red and looks like it could start spinning around at any minute.

The key is to be armed with an understanding of what's happening and not to panic. If you panic it's all over.

In my case it was last week when it hit my second to youngest and naturally in public at the local grocery store. We didn't even make it through the front door of the store before my 3 1/2 year old "angel" threw himself on the ground screaming at the top of his lungs and refused to move another step.

In fact his grip on the bottom of the grocery cart was so tight his tiny knuckles were turning white while his face was slowly becoming a deep shape of red. An amazing sight!

I quickly decided this wasn't a battle I was interested in fighting, i.e. "pick your battles" and told the 4 year old to turn around quietly and head back to the car.

When you see a storm coming you don't head straight for it. You turn around and run in the opposite direction.

I informed my 3 year old we were leaving and would come back when his behavior was better. I told him going to the grocery store with Mommy is a "treat" and he had to show me he deserved to go by demonstrating good behavior.

Okay. So I told a little white lie.

Obviously I left because I knew the rest of the trip through the store was going to be a never ending nightmare, and I only had 45 minutes before I needed to start school pickups for the day.

I wasn't about to let him know that.

Kids need boundaries and as parents we need to set them. When my son threw his fit he needed to know how far he could push me. He needed to know I was in control of the situation and in charge of him and that there was and would consistently be a consequence for his behavior.

The key is to let them know you're the boss. It's the only way you're going to come out on top. Haggard and barely breathing, but still on top of your game.

And one day it will be over and your "angel" will return only to enter the next exciting phase in the ever challenging world of parenting. And you'll learn to take the good with the bad because in the long run the good far outweighs the bad!

For more great tips and tricks focused on helping You as a Mom check out my site at http://www.moremomtime.com to sign up for my free five day series, "Happy Mom Equals Happy Kids"!

Katherine Cox is a multitasking Mom of 7 kids ranging in age from newborn to 14 years old. Following several years of trial and error she has broken the code to managing a well run household. Her focus is helping other Moms find time in their already hectic schedules ultimately making more Mom time.