I have decided I have a major problem with internet speak – that is, the punch drunk jargon used by bloggers and other individuals who write for the internet. I mean – is it me? Does anyone else find navigating blobby headlines all over a blogging page an annoyance?

It is so easy to miss the main point of the entire page, trying to filter out all the paid ads and separate the real content from the smart-arse comments thrown in by either the author or by net friends or by some twit of a graphics designer who thinks the answer to interesting web content is page crowding, flash presentation and warnings about fraud, scams and net villains in general.

Half of the terminology used I have never even heard of and much of it is even abbreviated. What the hell is WFL? Answers on an optimized postcard please.

Web pages are, by their very nature, crowded. The margins on each side of the page are irresistible to websters, they cannot remain free and clear, they must be filled with content, and if interesting content is unavailable, they must be filled with garbage. My eyesight is not what it used to be and I find myself squinting at the screen a dozen times a day to decipher the script from supporting commercial drivel (oh here we go I can hear you groan, here comes the whinge on how we used to do it in my day).

In my day, the written page was laid out as clearly as possible, making the reader comfortable in his skin, as it were. Trying to read a piece of text which is littered with a dozen other headlines alongside, some of them flashing slogans, can be incredibly aggravating and sometimes it is tempting to abandon the attempt. Not, one would suppose, the intention of the author of the site.

Now you are going to give me a lecture on site optimization, web marketing, search engine compatibility, ad statistics and all that depressing mumbo jumbo we all have to live with if we want our web pages to be seen by anybody outside the room the computer lives in. Right?

Well I do not care anymore if my web page gets seen or not. I have given up trying to get enough keywords into written work to get it picked up by whichever mad idiot’s job it is this week to trawl through appropriate scripts for duplication, mirroring, unacceptable repetition, scam, spam, over cram, susceptibility to abuse, spider magnetic material and flash excess. (Big raspberry being blown here but don’t know how to spell it).

Who cares anyway? Either people are going to read my stuff in traditional English and enjoy it or they are not. I am no longer interested in trying to construct pretzel-like sentences around a keyword guaranteed to draw thousands of page views. No more. Nada. Finished.

I suppose you will not read this because you will not be able to find it. Hello? Is there anybody there? Hi there?....Rats!