Diamond Author
Good manners are sometimes regarded as old-fashioned, something that are now out of date and unnecessary. It is true that opening doors for each other, waiting our turn to be served, often seems to be a thing of the past. And yet when someone treats us well, with respect and good manners it can make our day.
Good manners provide a moment in time where someone stops and considers our needs, offers us a seat, asks us politely for something with a 'please' and says 'thank you' afterwards. These niceties may only take a second, but they are an important second in our busy world of rushing around, solely thinking of ourselves and what we need to do.
Those moments can make us stop and consider the importance of noticing the other person, the waitress, the sales person. Do we really need to bark out our orders, commands, demands? How much more pleasant would it be for all concerned if we asked for something politely, with a 'please' at the end of the request. And acknowledged receipt of it with a smile and a 'thank you'. Hardly earth shattering, but a more pleasant way of dealing with people and a better way of treating them.
Road rage is evidence of extreme bad manners and inconsideration, which usually involves one person driving inconsiderately whilst the second person reacts in an outraged fashion. Driving on roads is a classic example of us all having to share a communal space and move through it as efficiently and respectfully as possible. Good manners are about appreciating that life is not all about us and what we want. Our needs have to be negotiated along with everyone elses'.
Let us consider how good manners make a difference to the quality of our lives.
- Holding the door open for someone else, offering an elderly person or a pregnant lady a seat are good manners but they are also demonstrating respect, empathy and consideration for the other person. A simple gesture like that can improve the mood and quality of someones' day. But it is important to be respectful back and return the compliment with a simple thank you or a smile. Good manners are a two-way exchange.
- Treat visitors with respect. Give them your full attention. Make them feel comfortable, that you are interested in them and what they have to say. Turn the television off. It is impossible to hold a proper conversation with flickering pictures from a TV screen catching everyones eye.
- Thank you letters are important. Whether someone has sent a gift or entertained you at their home, it is important to acknowledge their effort and thoughtfulness. They have done something special for you and a handwritten note or letter shows that you are prepared to respond and take the time to value what they have done and thank them for it. Writing a thank you letter is an important skill to learn. Constructing an effective letter, with good grammar and an important message is a valuable skill to have, and one that is rarely taught in these days of rapid texting and instant messaging.
- Saying 'please' and 'thank you' to the people we deal with when we want or need something is basic good manners. And 'excuse me' if we sneeze or cough, covering our mouth with a tissue.
- New colleagues or neighbours no doubt feel a little strange at first in their new environment. It is good manners to help them feel comfortable, to perhaps introduce them around, tell them where things are. By making them feel welcome they are more likely to become good colleagues or neighbours and make an effort to fit in.
- Even if we do not respect the person sometimes good manners are about respecting their position or status and what that represents. We may respect the fact that someone is a manager or a school teacher or highly educated and when they are in that role we moderate our behaviour towards them and give them respect out of deference for their position.
Good manners facilitate difficult communications, provide a sense of restraint in tense situations and give everyone, whatever their status or position in life, the right to be treated properly, with respect and consideration. Manners are extremely important.
About this Author
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with
- stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief,
- couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
- with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams
For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net
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