Tips about getting back with your ex are all over the Internet, especially article directories and ezines. The same thing seems to repeat itself as a common feature among all of those: don't look needy and he/she will come back crawling to you. But what if they can't see how happy or miserable you are? What if the break up just happened before they go out of town for college or a new job?

I'll write about my own personal experience with my ex-girl friend who dumped me, and my next girl friend who is now my wife.

When my ex-girl friend dumped me I was miserable. I couldn't believe it. It just happened without any signs that I could see. Of course, afterwards I could see all the signs very clearly. For the first few hours the only thing I was doing is dialing her phone number and leaving messages (at that time cell phones were not invented yet, so I wasn't texting her). The next few days I talked to her mom, her father, her brother, her close friends, even her favourite teacher. All what I was doing only seemed to push her away further and support her decision to dump me forever. In less than a month she was engaged to get married within a couple more months.

Obviously I didn't know her enough to decide how to handle the break up. But I didn't that go without learning from it. I learned that no matter what, I should never call or try to contact anyone who dump me after being in love with. From one point of view, she must have a good reason to dump me knowing how important she is for me and how much I loved her. My job then is to step away from the picture and try to see me from her point of view. And that was a turning point in my life. I knew what was pushing her away from me and fixed it. It was easy to fix after I knew how much it cost me not to.

From another point of view, I learned to know my girl friend very well so that I know what will would bring her back to me and what would push her away. And that's what matters for the purpose of this article. Know your girl/boy friend well.

Years later the same happened again with me, except that this time I had to break up with my girl friend. It also happened while preparing to leave the town for a better job. When I told her about the break up decision on the phone she seemed upset, but not miserable. After a week with no contact we met as usual for lunch and decided to stay good friends forever. We kept in touch over the email and sometimes over the phone. Our friends started to talk to me about the feelings she still has for me. It was also brought up several times how she is turning down all of the other guys who try to initiate a friendship with her because she was still hoping that I'll change my mind someday.

I knew for sure how important I was for her, and how much she loved me. Although I didn't have the same feelings for her - at least not as powerful - I felt guilty and blamed myself for her misery and decided to make it up for her. I bought a beautiful diamond and had it fixed in a simple wedding ring and flew home. The moment I saw her I took it out of my pocket and proposed to her.

The happiness I saw in her eyes cleared away all of the hesitation I had running in the back of my mind. We got married and had two kids together; a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl at the time of writing this article.

The moral is: SHE KNEW ME WELL ENOUGH to plan what worked like a charm with me to get me back. She knew how soft hearted I am and she planned her getting back with me procedure based on knowledge, not on the tips she's read in a book or on a website.