I've always heard people list the opposite of love as hate. But that's wrong. Love and hate are both filled with emotion.

The opposite of love is apathy.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines "apathy" as a lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness. Men who are not emotionally available and cold are seldom attractive to women, no matter how handsome you are. You might find that you can get dates on your looks, but once the woman gets to know you a little, she stops taking your calls.

Are you apathetic? Do you find yourself unemotional, unattached or distant to others? Do you find that you seldom feel anything? Could be that you were raised to be unemotional and unfeeling. Some religions teach that emotions and feelings can be sinful, and avoiding emotion keeps you from sin. You might have had boring, cold parents who seldom if ever expressed emotion.

You could have simply become this way on your own, no help from anyone else. Some people become apathetic as a gesture of selfishness...that if it's not about them, it's not important. Others feel that they are not worthy to have and express feelings and emotion. Your apathy might be your way of protecting your heart from getting hurt.

But apathy is unattractive, and you must work to set aside apathy.

• Believe in your own value as an individual that God loves.
• If you have an emotional moment, don't push it down and stuff it inside. Go ahead and feel it fully.
• If you are having a conflict with another person, care enough to confront them.
• Use self talk to tell yourself that you are worthy of having emotions, and that they are not sins.
• Invest yourself in another person. Seek intimacy even if you don't feel it.

Overcome apathy by forcing yourself to care, even at the risk of disappointment or hurt. You'll be on the path to becoming a Great Lover.