How destructive are the effects of domestic violence? An article from Psych Central gives us a perfect example: "one of the most tragic outcomes of domestic violence is that well more than half of the young men between the ages of 11 and 22 who are in jail for homicide have killed their mother's batterer."

It's a frightening statistic but no more so than the number of women who have lost their lives or received permanent injuries due to domestic violence.

For those victims who are still hanging on within an abusive relationship or those that have thankfully escaped there is the reality that they have been robbed of what is rightfully theirs. Many domestic abuse survivors have to start from scratch when it comes to rebuilding what was stolen. Those still in that situation are wondering will they ever get it back.

What has the abuser stolen from the victim of domestic of violence?

1. Self Determination

All of us when we reach the age of adult hood have the right to make our own decisions. We can take the advice of others who may have lived thru similar circumstances or disregard it altogether. Go where we want when we want and other freedoms (as well as responsibilities) that are such a given that many of us do not think about it.

The victims of domestic do not enjoy the same degree of self determination. Virtually everything is within the control of the abuser. Where as before they may have talked on the phone to whoever they wanted whenever is now determined by the abuser. The little trivialities of life that we take for granted are magnified and at the same time taken away from a domestic abuse victim.

2. Security

In the world we live in there is no complete security which guarantees absolute safety but we do like to feel that we enjoy a modicum of refuge in our own home. For countless abuse victims it is not possible. The house becomes a prison while the abuser is warden and guard all rolled into one. And the victim of domestic violence never knows when they will be called in to be questioned and interrogated. In other words they live in constant fear about when the verbal and physical abuse is coming.

3. Fear

This is one of the most distressing effects of domestic violence in a nutshell. The fear never stops. Victims walk on eggshells in the hope they neither say nor do anything that draws the ire of their significant other. And no matter how cautious and careful they go about it does not work. Because the rage and violence of the abuser is not within the victim's control. Nothing the victim does will ever be good enough for the abuser to stop abusing them. That and the fact that fear makes a perfect weapon.

There are countless survivors who can provide an almost unlimited list of the effects of domestic violence. All of them all too real but arguably the three listed above would make anyone's list.