Stop Your Negative Self-Talk!

Whoever coined "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me", must not have been a plus size woman. Who would think a three letter word could inflict so much emotional damage. Fat is a word that is casually thrown around as an insult to describe a person's body. It's classified as an adjective, but somehow, magically turns into a noun, because for most people who are called Fat, the word becomes who they are, determines their worth, and defines their character. I understand how this can happen; because I became "Fat" after repeatedly being told I needed to lose weight by an ex-boyfriend when I was a mere 145 pounds. I became the word in the sense that it took over my life. I would wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and only see my fat stomach, my fat arms, and my fat face. I couldn't see past the fat to know my worth as a person, so I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship, and actually gained the weight I was so desperate to lose...over 50 pounds. I became depressed, stopped leaving the house, and went on crash diet after crash diet. The tide turned when I could no longer accept being unhappy. Instead of being desperate to lose weight, I was desperate to be my vibrant, funny, happy self again. I missed me! I prayed and found the strength to leave my emotionally abusive relationship, started losing weight the traditional, healthy way, and reversed years of negative self-talk by doing the following:

Every morning I thanked God for being alive-Life is precious and beautiful, and we should be thankful of our ability to walk, talk, and breathe. We take these things for granted. Being over-weight doesn't mean your life ends. You should be thankful for everyday and everything you have in your life, even if you feel bad about the way you look.

Write a list of all the things you don't like about yourself- then for every negative, write two positives. This will show you that there's more to you than just FAT. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves just how awesome we are. Tape the positives to your mirror or keep it in your wallet for reference when you start to get down on yourself

Make a choice-Being unhappy with yourself and your body is a Choice! You CHOOSE to wallow in self-doubt and self-pity. Every day, when you look in the mirror and only see your flaws, you are saying that how you look is more important than who you are. CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY! Be accountable for your choices and stop the blame game. Yeah, my ex-boyfriend called me fat and told me I would never find love again, but I chose to believe him. Remember, nobody can make you feel inferior unless you let them!

Start each day with a positive mantra-A mantra is a group of words capable of creating transformation and purifies the consciousness. When said repeatedly, a mantra will remove negative thoughts, "much the same way as constantly walking over weeds crushes them". Exchange those negative thoughts for positive ones and you'll start to see yourself in a different light.

Exercise and eat healthier-There is a mind, body, soul connection. Exercise produces endorphins, which is the happy hormone. Try to get in at least 30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week to increase your energy, sleep better, and promote a better body image. Cut out the fast food and try to eat organic if you can. Fast food is full of calories and makes us feel drained. It's amazing how different we feel when our body starts to get what it needs to function properly. Try keeping a food journal and write down what you eat, when, and most importantly why. Most of us are emotional eaters, using food to fill a void. Food is not your friend; it's sustenance to keep you alive. Change the way you think about food and you'll start to see you're eating habits change.

I hope some of the above tips can help jumpstart a new way of thinking about you. Remember this: Your size is not your worth! Being overweight is not the end of the world. You can change the way you look, change the way think, and chose your path in life. Everything is in your control; all you have to do is take the reins.