Next week, all the kids in New York will be going back to school. As parents, we prepare our children to get ready for school by buying new clothes, school bags, books, and supplies. We lecture our kids on how to behave, on what type of crowds to hang out with, but what about teaching our kids to be cautious of their teachers?
Please know, I'm not anti-teacher. There are a lot of great teachers in our school systems but, I cannot ignore the high rate of sexual abuse and molestation incidents in our schools either. Just this Friday, a special education teacher, Randall Pilon at Salem Middle School in Virgina Beach was arrested for sending pornographic material through the Internet to one of his 14-year old students. Incidents like these are are in high numbers, so when my 6-year old niece called me to tell me she would be starting school next week, I automatically reminded my sister to give her the "Speech".
This "Speech" entails telling your child that their body is "THEIR BODY" and no one, (female/male) is to touch them. For a young child, the message is to tell Mommy or Daddy if at any time a teacher or someone at school did something to make them feel uncomfortable. Teaching the child, that no one is to touch them in their private areas. This will teach the child that their body is off limits to someone else. By telling our young children from an early age that teachers or anyone else, is not to touch them will also influence the way they consider teacher-student relationships when they reach their teenage years.
As teenagers, teacher predators will engage in inappropriate behaviors with their teenage students, more often which started as simple flirtations. If the teacher is an attractive female, chances are the male student will more likely to think the relationship is okay, since he is the one getting an ego boost due to the "Macho" stereotype that may be imposed from his peers. Teenagers should be taught that flirtations between a student and a teacher is unacceptable.
According to a 2004 study by the Child Molestation and Research Prevention Institute, it was concluded that teachers often targeted students whom they felt were vulnerable, were not popular and were seeking attention. Thus, these teachers handed out gifts to their targeted students, would often act like peers instead of teachers and looked for excuses to spend time with them. Once these teachers gained the student trust, the relationship would transform from friendship, to touching and later moving into a sexual relationship. The students would often become confused as they no longer looked at their teacher as a teacher but rather a confidant, mentor and their boyfriend/girlfriend.
The Child Molestation and Research Prevention Institute also conclude that students of sexual abuse, no matter the child's gender, will endure psychological, long term effects. These studies showed that these students had difficulty forming relationships, engaged in risky sexual behaviors and suffered from depression.
So, as parents, we have to be aware that there is a problem in our school systems in where moral and ethical lines are being crossed. We have to teach our children that their schools is place of learning, fun and of great teachers who will go to the ultimate in educating them but, we also have to teach about those teachers who may cause them harm. Bottom line- we can't sugar coat what is going on in our schools, we simply have to teach our kids to recognize it and hopefully defend themselves against it.
Johanna
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