There is only one reason behind the "hideous" divorce rate we have nowadays: People no longer have the qualities required by a marriage: selflessness, commitment, loyalty, etc. So I first want to congratulate you for at least fighting to stop your divorce. Marriages aren't come and go things, at least the way I see it. I believe marriages are holy bonds that are meant to unite two people until eternity.

Being in an ending marriage feels bad enough - but what makes it even worse is to be alone in trying to save your marriage. Indeed - the feeling of loneliness that comes with this situation can make even the calmest person go totally wild with desperation to save the marriage. Unfortunately, this makes you do wrong things you wouldn't otherwise.

This is why you must never turn to the inside for answers on trying to save a marriage - simply put, you are not reliable enough. The best thing to do in such situations is to ask for some outside advice instead - someone who isn't in the middle of your marriage is able to see everything from a much wider perspective than you do. I have been in the same situation and outside advice taught me a lot of things - and made me save my marriage.

First, I was taught to stay calm and not give in to my instincts. This is called going against the flow. The reason this is the "first" thing to do is that it's the most crucial part of it all - you will never be able to make progress when you're in a "I must do something at once to stop my divorce!!" mood. In that state of mind, people usually go looking for something that will magically repair their marriages overnight. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen. What saves marriages is calm and considerate action, not a quick fix to all your marriage problems.