One of the worst things a guy can do that would ruin his chances with any girl is to have the notion of 'the one.' As you read this right now, repeat after me: There is no such thing as 'The One.' There, that's better.

Nothing breeds insecurity as putting a woman on a pedestal. It is the equivalent of Wayne and Garth chanting "We're not worthy, we're not worthy," as we saw in the movie "Wayne's World," except such deification is applied to a single woman.

Now don't get me wrong. Women are a lovely species. The most meaningful relationships you can have will revolve around a woman, at one point or another. But this does not mean that you have to surrender your power, your self-esteem, by assigning to some person a kind of divine right over you. Thinking of someone as 'the one' is nothing but superstition, unfortunately propagated by Hollywood to drain pockets of hopeless romantics.

By placing too much emphasis on a single person, you tend to put yourself down, and this makes you feel all the less capable of dealing with a situation involving this girl you like. It makes you think of wonderful movies where some loser, through the magic of cinema, ends up with the hot princess, despite his acting like a bumbling idiot throughout the film. But not once should you believe that your follies are going to come across as 'cute' or attractive. The non-movie version will have you getting blue balls, as you remain frustrated that the girl didn't like you, despite your being 'yourself,' and despite your showing your 'true feelings.'

And do not think that your acting like a moron would be limited to the girl that you think is 'the one.' In later interactions, what will happen is that you either find other potential relationships meaningless, or you act just as desperate as before, in the hopes of not losing another girl. The trauma of the failure with 'the one' is enough to continue a vicious cycle of rejection and desperation. Ultimately, you lose out on future opportunities.

In order to appreciate people for who they are, and in order for other people to appreciate you for yourself, you have to get rid of notions that life is as dramatic as the movies. There is no plot to follow, and when you do find someone special, there is no roll of the end credits. If you find this cynical at all and not merely realistic, it is about time you start living.