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It may sound impossible, but there are some simple steps to get your ex girlfriend back even after a messy break up. Relationships are a complex thing and sometimes despite our best intentions we end up making decisions or behaving in a way that would create distances between two lovers. So, even though you may sometimes not be able to avoid a break up, but by following some simple rules you may be able to undo or minimize the damage done. Following are some of the most simple steps yet essential steps to get your ex girlfriend back:
Don't get desperate. Always refrain from begging her to come back. Begging and grovelling will make you look desperate and may even become a cause of irritation. Also, avoid desperate mails and phone calls (especially calling her during work hours). First work upon composing your own self and normalizing your emotions and behavior, then try to convince her to make a turn around in her behavior or decision.
Keep the communication gates open. Now, this is one of the most important things to keep in mind. Although you may be equally (or maybe more) hurt by the break up but shutting your ex girlfriend out of your life will never lead to any solution. Be mature and learn to deal with emotions and the difficulties that come as a part of such romantic relationships. Your openness to discussions and the willingness to resolve the problems that caused the break up in the first place, will go a long way in warming her up to the idea of getting back together with you.
Be open to apologies, but without playing blame games. Apologies are often the shortest way to easing heartburn and resolving fights and disputes. Be equally open to offering an apology to your ex girlfriend and to accepting one from her. Evaluate the reason for the break up and apologize without wasting time if you find that you were even partially to blame. Similarly, if after a discussion or introspection, your ex girlfriend comes forward to say sorry then be a sport and accept it at its face value without going into lengthy blaming sessions detailing the mistakes of each other.
Never try to manipulate her into getting back into the relationship. Women may be emotional beings and rather susceptible to emotional blackmailing or manipulation, but remember one thing: if your relationship is dead then a bunch of flowers will not be able to revive it on a long term basis. Similarly, manipulating the ex girlfriend into pitying you will get you just that - pity, not love. So, try to weigh your own emotions and also while wooing her all over again, give her due respect and value her decision even if it is a no. If she is inclined towards getting back with you, she may as well do it with full pride and confidence that she is doing it for the sake of love and not out of pity.
Bring about a positive change in yourself. If the reason for the break up was something that you did, or maybe, did not do; then try to make yourself a better person or at least, a better boyfriend by making an effort to improve yourself. Try and give up a bad habit that she tended to dislike or pick up a positive one that she liked. You are not trying to impress her here, you are just making sure that you become a better person and that you are more than wiling to put in any extra effort needed to make a change that can save the relationship.
Never lose your temper while trying to talk her into getting back with you. A show of temper will only reinforce your ex girlfriend's decision about leaving you and maybe seal your fate with regard to a romantic relationship with her forever. Maintain a consistent and dignified demeanour at all times when meeting her or communicating with her.
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So if you have managed to mess up your love life then follow these simple yet essential steps to get your ex girlfriend back. You will not be disappointed in the results.
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