To understand the stages of breaking up, we need to think about what breaking up is doing to your brain. Like withdrawal from a drug, a breakup is withdrawal from a person - and it's hard to see past this.

(Breaking up) actually heightens the phenomenon of passionate love in the brain circuits of both men and women. That brain region desperately, hungrily seeks the loved one. Withdrawal - as if weaning from a drug - takes over.

Louann Brizindine, Neuropsychiatrist - The Female Brain

You will crave your 'drug' - your ex. It is normal to think obsessively about him as your brain searches to get its 'fix' of love hormones. Compound this with your grief as you realize what you are letting go of - not just your ex but your previous life as a couple - it becomes a rocky ride. You obsess about him and about your breakup recovery process.

The love hormones are a chemical in your body, so it isn't just a mental withdrawal - it is a physical withdrawal as well. Think of all the wonderful fuzzy feelings you had when you hug, kiss and had sex with your ex. They are hormones being released into your body to promote bonding and attachment. The first stage of breaking up is going cold turkey from them. It is not that you're not strong and finding it difficult to handle, instead it is partly a chemical withdrawal.

That is why following the no contact rule is so important. Like an alcoholic giving up the vodka, you need to go cold turkey when breaking up with your ex. This is the first stage you face when breaking up.