While sitting in a coffee shop working on an article, I heard a discussion at the next table that was particularly distressing. What was troubling about the conversation is that one of the people was a middle-aged woman who was not what American culture deems to be acceptable. She was overweight, but she was well dressed and conducted herself appropriately. According to her conversation with her table mate, she was justifiably offended because she had endured yet another callous remark from a total stranger about her weight. She has a college degree, she holds a paraprofessional position, and she is attractive. She is a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter and niece. She is also a functioning member of a culture that chooses to ridicule her.

America is one of the leading discriminatory countries in the world. It has placed its citizens into two categories: slender and beautiful or fat and ugly. The general public has set standards as to what is acceptable in looks and appearance with regard to physical size. With the latter being unacceptable to the discerning American public, it is not difficult to see why there are so many cases of anorexia, bulimia, diabulemia, depression and suicide in all walks of life.

Image will always be a part of how a person values herself, and it is spurious to expect her to feel smarter or better than other people because she is of acceptable size and they are not. Likewise, it is disgraceful to make a person feel bad because she is different in size than other people. Society is so image conscious that it has forgotten that people are what matter, not their size or how they look. Just exactly what is acceptable, and just who decides who is a worthwhile person and who is not based on size? Just how is it acceptable for a person sitting with a cigarette in his hand to make a cruel remark to or about an overweight person walking on the street? How is smoking any healthier or better looking than being overweight?

One of the worst things that civilization has done is to link a person's worth to his weight. Big or small, the world is made up of people of all shapes and sizes. Just because a person is bigger than what is considered by the public to be typical, it doesn't mean that the bigger person is worthless, or is not worth as much as a thinner person. The expectation of the ideal body size has helped to increase the feeling of hopelessness and personal failure if the projected perfect size is not achieved or maintained. The social order states that it is better to be thin no matter what the cost than to be fat and unacceptable. This kind of thinking is very disturbing.

People that are not the ideal body size or weight are just as acceptable and lovable as those people that are. The populace has made such a big deal out of a person's worth as an individual in accordance with her weight that it has created a whole new subculture of people that have low self-esteem and feelings of little or no self-worth because their weight is over the established societal acceptable standard. To add to the fire is the unreasonable belief that a person must be thin to be recognized as a person that is acceptable to be associated with.

Many plus-size clothing manufactures reinforce the negative image that surrounds larger people by making the bigger clothing sizes much less attractive than clothing that is made for smaller people. The plus-size clothing is usually limited in quantity, is almost always jammed in the back of the store. Marketers want to sell to the segment of the population that they believe are the most profitable, ignoring a customer base that is increasing because American waistlines are growing larger.

Medical practitioners agree that it is desirable to be within a fit weight range, but that it is not an obtainable goal for everyone. Genetics, health issues and habits have a role in what is achievable for each person. There are no guarantees that a person who is slim today will still be lean in a month or in a year.

It is deplorable to be mean or cruel to another person because of his size. Similarly, behaviors such as smoking, drinking, and drug use are not healthy actions, but those people don't endure as many harsh and hurtful remarks from total strangers the way overweight people do. All people are human beings, and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect regardless of their size. Just like beauty, ugliness comes from within, and is demonstrated in the way others are treated.

© Copyright 2007 Patti McMann. All rights reserved.