The dating game is supposed to be fun! You don't have to resent being single, or even be scared of it. Perhaps you've always, or mostly, been single, or maybe you're suddenly single after a long period of being coupled up and the idea of dating terrifies you. Whatever the case, you shouldn't feel "desperate and dateless" just because you're single.

If you see being single as a negative, you're going to attract negative, or nothing, into your life. But if you see it as a positive, good things will come to you. First of all, the goal while single isn't to end it as quickly as possible and partner up. An approach like this usually leads you around in a circle and, sooner or later, back to being single, because your strategy to take what's available isn't healthy and isn't going to find you the right match.

Rather, the goal ought to be to enjoy your singledom and make the most of it. You may never be single again, or perhaps not for a very long time. This is your opportunity to focus completely on yourself. Not just on your self-development, but on doing the things you love.

Being single is when you live for yourself, not just by yourself. Being single should not mean being solely on a quest for love. It may in some ways be a quest to find yourself and learn how to be the best you can be, in and out of a relationship - but frankly a lot of being single is, well, just being...you.

One of the most frustrating things someone who is single but doesn't want to be hears is: "It will happen when you least expect it." People like to be proactive and in control, and hearing that love may not come along until they stop doing something about it is incredibly difficult. I believe you must be proactive in your entire life, not just in your search for love, but all proactive efforts to find love must come from a sincere experience grounded in being true to yourself.

Don't go running off to a cooking class to meet people it you can't stand cooking and don't join a golf club thinking the back nine will be your new pickup joint. Relish life, indulge in your own interests and follow your own passions. When you are excited by your own life others will be attracted to you. If you try to fake your way into someone's heart it will never work and will certainty not last.

The "game" of dating doesn't need to have rules, except for one: be yourself. Other essential tips to keep in mind it you're single include:

• Enjoy your single life. Think of all you have to look forward to: the first kiss, the anticipation of failing in love. It's exciting being single! Your future is wide open and you can write your own happy beginning and ever after.
• Get to know who you are and what you like rather than focusing on a search for love.
• When you do look for love, do the things you enjoy, rather than faking it because you think that's where the other singles are.
• Reflect on what you've leached from past relationships so future relationships get a better start. Don't look for love until you have an open heart that is healed from past hurts.
• If you must make a list of what you're looking for in a mate, do it, then put it away and don't let it become a narrow script that closes you off to other opportunities.

Follow the above tips and be prepared for love to come in the most unexpected packages and surprising ways.