If you've been asking yourself can there be a happy marriage after an affair, don't fret. You're not alone. This question is on the minds of millions of men and women around the world. But to have a happy marriage after and affair, you'll need to know why the affair happened initially.

If an affair has taken place already, then the problem's been brewing for quite some time now. Let me explain. First, you'll have to understand why men and women cheat on their spouse.

Here's a scenario of a married couple where an affair is lurking, and neither one of them know it yet. [Just for the record, this scenario takes place with a couple in their 30s, with two kids and they've been married for five years.] It really has to do with two main things, willpower and the media.

In this scenario, the man wakes up early in the morning to go to the gym and get a good workout. He's wearing some old sweatshirt and baggy shorts. Something comfortable. Now, the women who go to the gym these days wear something a lot different than that. You see, many women will wear tight spandex that will compliment their every curve. Many of the women wear make-up and perfume. Even though the man is not trying to look, he kinda can't help it. After all, the woman is showing off practically everything she has to the entire world. Even though he's happily married, a quick thought runs through his mind of him and that woman. That's the willpower part.

Now, for the media part of this scenario and to the women's defense. All the magazines and exercise shows for women do show women wearing these very tight and very revealing gym clothes. It seems to be the style. Women are typically more fashion conscious than men, so they wear what's "in" at the time. It's innocent...kind of.

Next the husband goes off to work where women secretaries and women business professionals seem to wear less and less. The shirts show cleavage, the skirts are high and tight, nails are always done perfectly and these women wear expensive perfume that smells gorgeous. Again, loyal husband doesn't want to cheat on his wife, but a couple more thoughts run through his head, kind of like a 16 year old boy in gym class watching the girl track team run. He brushes the thoughts away quickly, after all he's married.

Women seam to wear less and less these days. T.V. shows (which I won't name) seem to advertise adultery. Some shows on T.V. are nothing more than soft porn. Again, the media tends to show a lot of sex because it sells. And sexy clothes are the in thing now so women are wearing what's "in".

After a long day at work, and about a hundred attractive women coming and going in the husband's life, the husband comes home from work feeling kind of aroused and wants to play with his wife for a while. And what does he find? She's got her hair pulled back in a cheap rubber band, she's wearing some God awful ugly shirt she bought at Wal-Mart, she's not wearing make-up or perfume, the home is far from clean and the kids are buying for daddy's attention.

Not exactly what he had in mind says he. However, the kids go to bed around 9:00, so maybe then he can be with his wife. Only then, he's tired and she's tired. Besides that she's no longer wearing the cute pajamas she wore years ago. Now she's wearing mix match pajamas with cartoon characters all over them, she hasn't showered and she's snacking on potato chips.

Again, not exactly what he had in mind. So they both go to sleep, no sex.

Here's where the willpower comes in again. This goes on for years. Day in, day out. So the man's mind begins to wonder back to the women in his life he's been seeing at work or the gym. And an awful seed has been planted and the devil gets a foothold on the man.

What happens next is anyone's guess. Sadly, many men fall into this temptation and ending up having an affair. Not because the sex at home is bad, but because the sex at home is just not happening. Also, the beautiful wife he married 5 years ago is now 40 pounds heavier and refuses to change her appearance.

The man's misery gets the best of him and he seeks pleasure from somewhere else, from somebody else. This is a sad scenario that millions of couples go through that can be easily avoided. It sounds cliche, but communication goes a long way in a situation like this.

If the husband would talk to his wife and tell her exactly how he feels, they'd be much better off. Talk about the girls at the gym and work and let her know that he's sexually frustrated. It'll be tough, buy you'll get through it.

If the woman would doll herself up a little before he comes home and spray on some perfume, that would go a long way. And it's very important for both the man and woman to stay in good physical shape. There's no excuse not too other than laziness.

However, when you take your wedding vows you both agree to love each other no matter what through thick and thin. Marriage after an affair can work, but it'll require much communication and prayer. Try to have a marriage that God would be happy with, and pray together every day. You'll be amazed at the difference.