There are relationships that last forever and there are relationships that last long enough to break your heart. How can you tell if your relationship can withstand for the long term? This is when you need to ask yourself seven very important questions. They are:

- Does he have major uncertainties about committing to you?

- Are his emotions towards you genuine and loving?

- Does he openly and honestly communicate with you?

- Are you separated by unmanageable distance?

- Does he rob you of your self-esteem?

- Is he abusive - physically or emotionally?

- Is he married or has another girlfriend?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, your relationship has very little growth power. A relationship that can't grow will most certainly die.

There are two types of detrimental relationships:

- Imaginary

- Self-Destructive.

The imaginary relationship is the relationship that you see as perfect in "your imaginary world". In the real world, it is with a man that has no tenderness, understanding or communication. It is based on theories of "if he only", as in "if he only loved me more"," if he only shared his emotions more" or "if he only left his wife." If you are basing your relationship on "if he only" you may be the only one committed to the relationship.

The self-destructive relationship is the relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself. Ask yourself if you cry more than you laugh in your relationship. Ask yourself if he embarrasses or degrades you in public or private. Ask yourself if you make excuses for his behavior. If you are ashamed to admit that you are in a relationship with him then you probably shouldn't be in the relationship.

Self-destructive relationships are generally created because you would rather have any man rather than no man at all. They also strive when you relinquish your independence and become dependent on a man to fulfill your monetary needs. In either scenario, you are sacrificing yourself for the sake of a relationship.

Both the imaginary and the self-destructive relationships are bound for failure and heartbreak. If you are in either type of relationship, get out now. It may take months or even years but eventually the relationship will end in heartache and despair anyway.

Set standards for yourself that you are unwilling to compromise. Establish beliefs and values and stick to them. Only allow yourself to have healthy relationships that have the potential to grow into long term. Don't waste your time on men that can't give you what you are willing to give to them.