Do you wonder why your boyfriend doesn't want to commit- or says he will but his actions don't change? Do you get upset every time you think of him getting the best out of you but not willing to put his fair share back into the relationship? The way to know whether a guy has serious intentions with you or not is through his commitment to you and the relationship, so if he doesn't commit should you give him a commitment ultimatum?

If you've been dating a guy for a few weeks one of the first things that will cross your mind is 'where is this relationship going?' You'll want to know whether he feels there is any future in your union together and because of this, you'll test him through trying to get him to commit.

You may decide to take him shopping and point out the rings in the jewellery store as a hint that, that's where you see the relationship headed. Or you may decide to sheepishly talk about how well you two are matched as a couple, and therefore isn't it time he became more serious about your relationship together? You may even bring up the fact that all your friends and his friends are settling down and you're both at that age where that's the thing to do.

Which ever way you decide to let him know you want the relationship to be serious, you are taken aback because you don't get the response you've been expecting and worse still you find that he avoids the subject all together. So what do you do now? Well, as I'm talking to you about ultimatums, it may have already crossed your mind that some women in your situation may have already thought of this as an option and therefore maybe it's the right thing to do.
Well before you decide either way- let's explore what it is you really want here and then you can decide whether offering an ultimatum for him to prove his commitment to you is the way to go.

Let me ask you a question. What do you want from your relationship with the guy you're dating? Is it casual, or do you want it to become serious? Now my next question is what does he want? More difficult I know but at a guess what do you think he wants from the relationship?

Now depending upon your answer here, you can then decide on your next steps. Say he tells you that what he wants is not what you want, i.e. he's sees it as a bit of fun and he just wants to 'see how it goes' before making any commitment to you. What is that telling you?

It's telling you that despite the fact that he's fun, a nice guy and all that, he doesn't want the same thing as you do, he's not as committed to the relationship at this point in time as you are. And now you have a decision to make.

If you want to take the chance that he will commit further down the line then you have that as your option, but if you been there and done that, then your decision to offer an ultimatum is in itself telling you that the relationship isn't as 'healthy' as you need it to be to be successful.

So should you offer an commitment ultimatum?

I can't answer that for you, but I will tell you that NO relationship can survive, or thrive without some form or level of commitment from both parties, but offering an ultimatum isn't necessarily the answer.

Hope that helps.