There is a lot of debate about whether women should ask men out. As a modern woman, it may seem trendy and cool to have the ability to ask a guy out on a date, but before you choose to reprise the role of Carrie from 'Sex in the City', you must consider your main objective for dating. Are you interested in something more casual or do you really want a more serious, committed relationship?

Although many men say they wouldn't mind it if a woman asked them out, it's really about understanding how a man perceives a woman who asks him out. He may be flattered, but the majority of men see women who ask them out as desperate, easy and probably interested in just a sexual relationship. So unless you are just looking for a fling, you'll want the man to pursue you.

A man, who is truly interested in you, will work up the nerve to ask you out. Besides, why on earth would a woman who is considering a man as a potential mate, want a man who isn't interested enough in her to ask her out? It also puts the women in a position of power when the man seeks her out.

Many woman today too often acquiesce their power in a relationship. I'm not talking about controlling the man here. But let's face it, no one likes to feel as though their being controlled or manipulated (Not to mention that this type of behavior typically backfires in the long run). I'm talking about controlling the process, not the man. Date men who want to date you. That said, if you want to know how to get the man to notice you and want to desire you enough to do the asking, 'Make Every Man Want You' gives great advice on how to flirt effectively.

I also just finished reading the new book by Steve Harvey, 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man' and it gives a lot of good advice about how women should establish themselves with men if they are interested in establishing a long term relationship. The 90 day rule is really a good way to weed out men who are just interested in "hooking up."

Woman can also use this period to date more than one guy. (MEN ARE DATING MORE THAN ONE WOMAN DURING THIS PERIOD, WHY SHOULDN'T YOU DATE MORE THAN JUST ONE MAN) Keep in mind that dating is not synonymous with having sex. You can date more than one guy at any given time and not have sex with any of them. Also, dating more than one guy during the beginning of the dating process will keep you from becoming fixated on one guy and projecting unrealistic expectations on to him in order to make him into what you want. If he is interested in a more exclusive relationship with you, he'll let his intentions be known. To learn more about how to effectively implement this strategy, I highly recommend Diana Kirschner's 'Love in 90 Days'

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Until next time,
Your friend and "Get Real' Relationship Coach
Lorraine Jackson
Your True Path To Love