As a child, police sirens and Spanish chatter outside of my window were my lullaby. The walk home from school was not complete without a stop at the pizza shop or bodega (grocery store), where my sister and I spent our allowances on a quick bite to eat after a long day. Some days, she and I would talk about the day's events and others we fought literally all the way home.
I remember, I was never a fan of homework or studying. In some classes, like English, such tasks, or lack there of I should say, hardly effected my overall grade. In some, like Science and History for example, there was no extra handout that would help me pass. But, I never cared. School was never important to me.
From kindergarten up until the 12th grade, there was always at least one teacher, year after year, who would make the same comment about me to my mother. It was always so amazing to me that they would say the same exact thing even as I attended different schools. "She has so much potential, she's just so lazy." Never did I stop to think, 'hmm maybe they're right.'
In a sense, much like others, I felt as though school was just a big waste of time. Like there was something out there that I was better off doing instead sitting in a classroom eight to nine hours daily gathering information that I was never to apply to the "real world" That was until the summer of 2004, when my mother fell ill and the only thing she asked from me was the chance to watch as I received my diploma.
I will not go into detail, because there are things that a family should keep private, but in a nutshell, there was not a fiber of faith left in me that she was going to live to see that day. The time spent at her hospital bedside was no match to that in school. She became my top priority. I was forced to take on the role of "mom" to my sister who is but two years my junior. And if that did not make it hard enough, my mother also had temporary custody of the youngest of my cousins while her mother was serving in the military over seas. My cousin was only 6 at the time.
I gave myself a crash course on multi-tasking, the ability to split my attention and even polished up on my cooking and cleaning skills. My social life completely tanked, to the point that I felt like I had no friends.
Looking back, I wish I would have spoken up about it. No one knew what was going on, because like I mentioned I value my family's privacy. But, in a sense I still blamed them of not caring for not asking. Never realizing that they had their own set of obstacles set before them, I completely shut them out. All but a handful of people knew what was going on and kept in constant contact. And out of those few, all but one knew of my plans to drop out; and she wasn't even a friend.
Her name is Sara Melvoin and if by the grace of God, years down the line, she were able to stumble across this article, I would like to thank her from the bottom of my heart. She was my U.S. Government teacher, and though I failed her class, she really was one of the easiest person to talk to. She was so understanding, never judgmental and had the ability to keep what I told her just between the two of us. She knew I would never be an "A student." Hell, at that point I was lucky to even get a "C". But when the bell rang and the textbooks were closed, I was no longer her student. I was just another person who needed a shoulder to cry on and was fortunate enough to find someone to cry with me.
As the months passed, and my mother's health became more stable, I decided that I wanted nothing more then the grant my mother's wish; to walk down with my class and receive my diploma. But when that decision was made, the guidance counselor at my school informed me that that was not going to be possible. What was I supposed to do?
After that news, I remember, I cried like had never done before. I felt like the biggest disappointment to ever had walked the Earth. All she asked was for one thing. One simple task that I was not going to be able to deliver. But why? As I looked more into it, it made no sense to me. Why was I being forced to take classes that I didn't even need? Why wasn't those time slots used to gain the credits needed to graduate on time?
So many questions, but no one with the decency to answer me. Why should they, right? Out of the 65 students in my class, I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I was ranked number 63! I wasn't lying when I said that I was one of the biggest slackers in that school. And to top it off, my mother wasn't able to speak on my behalf. So what did I do?
I studied. I studied. And I studied some more! I eventually transferred to different school just months before graduation when I found that they had an accelerated credit program unlike any I had ever heard of before. I made no friends (which I somewhat regret now). My focus was on my academics. I only had a single semester to prove so many people wrong!
The principals in both schools made an agreement to allow me to not only walk with my class in graduation but to allow me to also receive my diploma from my primary school as long I kept a certain GPA for the remainder of the school year. An agreement that I was more then willing to honor! And so I did.
June, 2005 I graduated; on time and with my class. I saw my mother in the audience with proud tears in her eyes. That was one of many goals that I was blessed to achieve. You will soon learn, with the publishing of my upcoming articles, that there have been MANY obstacles, tears, heartache, and genuine pain in my life. I've hit rock bottom so many times that I often make jokes on the topic.
The keys here, and what I hope you have allowed your heart to open up and understand:
1. Allow your loved ones "in"
Friends, family, teachers and even co-workers. Find someone you can trust and let it all out. They may not be able to relate, and you may not think they would be able to help, but its amazing what the feeling of having someone just listen can do for your soul!
2. If not school, value something!
My family has always been my top priority. Find what is your and do everything in your power to keep them up where they are supposed to be. In my case, school was at the bottom of my list but I just had to make my mother proud! And in doing so, I made myself proud as well.
3. Never let them say you can't
"I think I can. I think I can. I think I can" therefore "I can. I can. I can."
4. Trust in God
Although I did not mention in the article just know, follower or not, the Lord loves you. He may be a different version to you then he is to me, but at the end of the day, we are all his children. Trust in him. He will pull you through any and everything!
Shy Rodriguez
http://donotgiveup.webs.com
Motivational Writer
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shy_L_Rodriguez
