Do you know when to give up trying to save your marriage?

It's very rare that couples avoid divorce by trying to stay together. It's an odd statement to make I know but you probably have more chance of staying together if you stop trying.

Conventional wisdom and advice suggests that when you're marriage is on the rocks that you should work together to repair the problems that exist in your relationship. You're urged to talk to your partner and really listen to what they have to say. Then you must work out compromises and change your behaviour for mutual benefit.

There are one or two flaws in this conventional marriage saving wisdom. The first flaw is that both you and you partner must want to save the marriage. Sadly this is more often than not far from reality. Usually one partner wants to save the marriage and the other one wants it to end as soon as possible. Trying to work together to stop divorce under these circumstances is unlikely to work.

Another flaw with the traditional marriage counselling advice is that it encourages you to make false promises and even plead in an attempt to save the relationship. The promises often involve one or both partners changing their behaviour, which very rarely will actually happen or if it does then it will be short lived.

Pleading with your partner not to leave you will make you look weak and pathetic and can push your partner even further away instead of drawing them nearer.

Going for broke to save marriage

There is another way to approach saving your marriage and stopping your divorce. It's got a good chance of succeeding and it's something that you can do by yourself even if your partner doesn't want to try.

What you do is stop trying to save your marriage and concentrate on you and your own life away from your partner. It might even be beneficial to separate for a time even if the separation isn't physical. Work at being single and having a good time instead of trying so hard to stay married.

You might be surprised at the effect that this has on your relationship when your partner sees you happy and enjoying life and showing him that you don't need him. This will actually make you more attractive to your partner and might just be the ticket you need to bring him back to you. Don't make it too easy for him though make him work for it.