Self Esteem in Children

What Is Self Esteem?

Self esteem is all about what children believe about themselves. These beliefs are formed during childhood as the child interacts with others and interprets their behaviour and treatment of him as an assessment of his value as a person. The actions of adults are more influential to the child's development of self belief, and his parents are the most important of all.

What Does Low Self Esteem Look Like?

A quiet child
Not mixing with other children
Does not approach adults
Clingy
Impatient
Rubbishes his own work
Avoids new challenges
Blames others for failure
Easily frustrated

What Does Healthy Self Esteem Look Like?

Welcomes new challenges
Mixes well with others
Approaches adults confidently
Patient
Values own work/achievements
Takes responsibility for unsuccessful endeavours
Tolerates frustration
Confident and open communication in group situations
Welcomes new challenges

Why Is Healthy Self Esteem Important?

Healthy self esteem in children is important because it is the foundation on which their whole life is built. If it is a bit shaky, their life will not be a strong building! A healthy self esteem means that a child will be a confident learner, will build relationships easily, will care for themselves and their bodies and will go for their goals and dreams when they reach adulthood. These are the cornerstones of a successful and happy life.

Building Self Esteem In Children

"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
Carl W Buechner

We as parents have a pivotal role in building self esteem in children; We need to teach our children to love and value themselves. The first consideration is that we need to set a good example in our own self esteem. Do we care for and value ourselves? At the end of the day, your child will take more credence from your behaviour than your words. Simply put, children need to be shown how to feel about themselves by how we as parents feel about them; and this is through our behaviour towards them. If we show love, they will love themselves; if we value them, they will value themselves etc.

Action Steps

Notice the good in your child as frequently as possible.

Use descriptive praise, e.g. "It was really good how you comforted young Sam when he hurt himself."

Avoid ridicule and shaming of your child, discipline in a constructive way, teaching what the consequences could be of the unwanted behaviour.

Teach responsibility for feelings and actions.

Help your child to play to their strengths.

Teach "the golden rule" treat others as you would wish to be treated.

Teach your child to treat themselves as they would like to be treated.

Encourage your child to be able to laugh at himself.

About this Author

For more information about Frances and her resources to support mothers, visit http://www.all-about-motherhood.com

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