When I was little, I always wondered what sharing things and being close to my mom would be like. For most of my young life, my natural mother was immersed in drinking alcohol. She wasn't able to relate to a young daughter, and the end result was that she missed out on most of my growing pains and steps into adulthood. She passed away before I really got to know her as a person instead of a woman that was so unhappy that she turned to the bottle to cope with her troubles. As much as the lack of her companionship and affection hurt me, I have never held that against her.

Two years after the death of my natural mother, I met a woman that was thirty years my senior. We became very close friends. She adopted me as her daughter, and I adopted her as my second mother. We shared so much over the next 28 years, and truly became mother and daughter. She was there to see me through my twenty-first birthday; when most kids celebrate this particular birthday in a bar or with their friends, I spent mine sitting on the couch across from mom talking about dating, She was single and still looking for Mr. Right. What a great evening we had, much better than sitting in a in a drinking establishment getting drunk.

When I entered a bad relationship, mom was there to help me cope with the abuse when I was too stubborn to listen to her words of wisdom. She never lectured me, but she did make it clear that I needed to be the one to take action to change the situation. No matter what I did or didn't do, she was always there to listen and offer guidance if I needed it. She was there to help me pick up the pieces when the relationship ended, and she never once said, "I told you so." When I got married, she welcomed my new husband with open arms and treated him like the son she never had. They had a wonderful relationship that lasted for 20 years.

Over the years, I saw mom through a few relationships too. She dated a few men, but she still hadn't found the man of her dreams, but she had the faith that she would meet him at any minute. When that moment finally did happen, mom was 73 years old, and met him on a dating website. I was skeptical because of her past relationships, but this man seemed to be vastly different from the others. As time went on, they got to know each other through chat, email and telephone. He lived in a neighboring state and took the time to drive the distance to visit her.

Last year they got married three days before Christmas. He was very good to her, treating her like royalty. The four of us spent a lot of time together, playing cards, visiting, and helping each other with anything that needed to be done. Several months after their wedding, mom began to feel ill. As the feeling got worse, she had trouble standing because of dizziness. She gave up driving, and relied on her husband to take her places.

Last month when mom turned 78, she found out that she had small cell lung cancer, which is a very aggressive form of the disease. The news was a crushing blow to all of us. She decided that she would try to fight it by taking chemo therapy, but she was tired from months of feeling sick and weak. She took three chemo treatments which left her totally exhausted. During an emergency trip to the hospital, she received the news that the cancer had spread rapidly through her body, and one lung was totally engulfed. She made the decision that night to let the cancer take her. The decision was hers to make, and even though it hurt us, we respected it.

One week later, and three days before Halloween, mom closed her eyes for the last time, slipping away peacefully. Her last days were spent in her home with family, where she was loved and well cared for. I spent time with her, and helped care for her. I let her know how much I appreciated having her for my mom all of these years. Even though I had always told her that I loved her, I told her again and again during her last days. She was able to respond almost to the end, and she told me over and over that she loved me too.

Through my tears I managed to say goodbye. I will hold onto all of the wonderful memories that we created, and the good times that we shared. My heart is broken that she is gone, but it is glad that she is no longer in pain. I will always be grateful that I had her in my life for as long as I did. A woman doesn't have to give birth to be a mother; the wonderful, generous and genuine person that my mom was is proof of that.