Infidelity is one of the most devastating events a marriage can go through, but it does not have to end the marriage and result in divorce. It is possible to save your marriage after infidelity if both spouses can address the issue and work together through it.

An affair is a huge betrayal of trust in addition to the vows of marriage that are supposed to be sacred. It can leave emotional scars for a long time to come, so it is a serious issue and must be treated that way.

But infidelity does not necessarily have to be physical. More and more we are seeing cases of emotional infidelity when one of the partners in marriage begins sharing their life, or bonding, to someone besides their spouse in inappropriate ways.

One of the reasons for this is the mixed gender workplace. Decades ago there was the secretarial pool of mostly all women. The factory was pretty much the domain of men. Now that is not the case. People are spending more time and having more in common with more members of the opposite sex.

Compounding the problem are the myriad technologies that make it easier to bond with someone other than your spouse. Texting, email, cell phones and even long boring commutes contribute to the rise in emotional infidelity.

And since married partners spend more time apart with crazy work schedules and running the kids everywhere it has become easier to find ways to physically cheat on a spouse as well. Once this has happened it can be a chore to put your lives back together and save your marriage.

Repairing the damage.

The first thing you want to do to begin to repair the relationship is determine what went wrong. Chances are it was a gradual slide downhill that began with an indifference by one spouse or the other, forgetting to appreciate all the other person meant to them.

The longer we have something the more we become inclined to take it for granted. That happens with people too. Sometimes you do not know what you have until it is gone. Cliche, but very true.

In order to move forward it is important to identify problems so that they can be worked on and eliminated, but not by way of finger pointing and the "blame game". That will likely end in divorce instead.

Trust has been broken and that will need to be repaired. Start out by making sure you are both totally honest with each other, hiding nothing and becoming very transparent. Going to be late coming home? Call, then call again. Keep up the communication.

Make a list of what initially attracted you to the other person and seek to find those desirable traits again and remember to appreciate them and, more importantly, voice your appreciation to your spouse. It will seem odd at first, but you will get used to it.