I learned about responsibility by being completely irresponsible. Early-twenties-summers-day-ago, I was feeling lonely and making money at the same time - a bad combination. On this particular summer day, I was feeling lonely and had money when I walked by PETCO. I saw colorful balloons and the colorful "Adopt a Pet Today" sign and thought... I should. I should adopt a pet today. Usually, I walk on the opposite side of the street, so this must be fate. I went in with the high hope of adopting a maltipoodle or a miniature schnauzer...
PETCO's motto is "Where the pets go," but it was not where those breeds chose to go. It was mostly cats and kittens only club. I have a terrible fear of cats, but thought this could be a good thing. I'll adopt a kitten and as it gets older, my fear will slowly grow into a love for cats. And plus, in all the horror stories about cats, they are usually black. So, I adopted a gray kitten, bought its food, its bed, litter box, and a scratching post. As I paid for these items, I had slight suspicion of PETCO's intention for hosting such an event, but it quickly went away as I tried to figure out a way to balance my costly purchases while holding the kitten.
I came home excited and she was excited too. The moment I let her out of the PETCO box, she pooped and peed on the floor and hopped right up on the couch. She was settling right in. She then jumped and climbed onto my bed and found a spot to nestle herself in. Okay, this isn't so bad. I can just train her to use the litter box, spray some Febreeze, and clean up after her in the meantime. Okay, I've given her some food and lots of attention. I'm going to watch some TV. But then she began to scratch me lightly and crawl behind me with her tail wrapping around me. Oh no... I'm remembering why I have a terrible fear of cats... Okay. Calm down. Except she was noticing my fear and was getting uneasy. She began to stare which didn't help with the fear. Oh no. Is that a cat frown? Either way, she's definitely unhappy. What do I do? So, I smiled at her and talked to her. Ok, Ichini. I'm just going to watch some TV. Why don't you go play with the scratching post? Except she kept staring. Oh no. Why is she staring? Because she doesn't like me. Now I'm getting really terrified, but keep smiling. Maybe she won't notice. Except my voice was shaking. Ichini, I think you should go play with the post now. Her tail and hair were standing straight up. Oh man. I've seen this before. On TV... mostly in cartoons, but I'm sure this is what happens before cats attack.
The subsequent events I am responsible for that day are shameful. It resulted in frantic and embarrassing calls. I'm really, really afraid of cats. You called me to tell me that? No, I just adopted a kitten. What? When!? A few hours ago. That's so irresponsible! I know... I feel bad for the kitten... Eventually, someone adopted the kitten that I had just adopted. An irresponsible decision led to a series of consequences and me not being accountable for my choice. It was embarrassing for me, but mostly unfair to Ichini. Responsibility meant being accountable, but I was irresponsible and in my case completely thoughtless.
The twenties are filled with responsibility and the weight of it hits every time I get an email or receive a mail asking to pay up now. If you're like me and your parents have gotten tired of digging into their wallets to support you... then you're responsible for the roof over your head, getting to one place from another, phone calls to your friends, access to your email, the food that goes into your mouth, the education you received, the list never seems to end. At times, I wish I could make a call and have someone else take care of all my responsibilities and make it go away, but I'm reminded and by now have learned that responsibility is being accountable for all the choices and decisions I've made. Responsibility seems especially tough because there seems to be no end to the consumption, but then there's no more justification.
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